Fic commentary: And Miles to Go
Still can't really write (fiddling with WiPs is not exactly 'writing' - and the amount of halfly finished fics is depressing), so instead, as requested by kensieg in the Ask for a Commentary Meme, commented fic.
Comments in blue, I hope you enjoy
Title: And Miles to Go
Summary: This is Jack's only chance to reconsider
Characters: Jack
[Aren't I sneaky? ^^]
Spoilers: None really, but let's say Last of the Time Lords, to be sure.
Rating: None
Word count: 724
Note 1: Thanks to my lovely beta xwingace, who seems to beta at the speed of sound and always asks all the right questions
[She spots all my plotholes. Especially the glaringly obvious ones that are especially embarassing *g*]
Note 2: Inspired by the the word 'tortuous' on tw_wotd_fic and set somewhen during Before I Sleep. Makes sense on its own as well, though. [I always hope that people will read the other fic, too, though, because while it makes sense, it makes even more sense with the one I wrote before. Do I make sense? Probably not...]
Fic Masterlist: Here, uncommented version here.
[Here we are then. This was born quite shortly after writing 'Before I Sleep', because I like to write my own kind of Fix It Fic. 'Before I Sleep' was written because seeing the ultimate fate of humanity as the Toclafane depressed me, 'And Miles to Go' was written because - while in itself conclusive - I couldn't let 'Before I Sleep' stand there alone without getting depressed, too. ]
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
- Robert Frost
[Did I mention that I love this poem? I stumbled over it by accident in some documentary, and it feels so true for so many points in my life. It seemed only natural to give this fic a title that came sooner in the poem than 'before I sleep', and it fits quite well to the feeling of this, too.]
He watches the boy weave his way through the market place, still so innocent, yet clever enough to get out of the Feubonian trader's way and to avert his eyes as a Manthodean hisses at him.
[That first alien name is something close to the German word for 'firethorn' and 'mantodea' is the insect order of Praying Mantises - I like it when alien race names imply their appearance... although probably noone but me gets it. ]
He grew up here, Jack can tell, among the crime and the aliens and the danger. The boy knows how things work around here, knows who to please and who to avoid.
[Note how this still works after Torchwood's 'Adam', even though I can't see many huge marketplaces on the Peninsula - so technically chibi!Jack can't be as young in canon as I make him here... do I hear Star Wars Cantina Music in the distance? Gah.]
The unkempt black hair is shoved out of his face with a small hand [I love that gesture, it's so cute] when something that looks like an impulse makes the boy turn, instantly spotting Jack watching him. Jack knows, and sees, that instincts fight behind those blue eyes: the instinct to flee, and the instinct that feels, that knows.
[How can Jack know those eyes are blue you wonder? Hah! No lazy writing here, but foreshadowing. Not that I've noticed before... *facepalms* ]
Jack's experiencing the same, and he suppresses an involuntary shiver. He pulls his hands out of his coat pockets, trying to be as unthreatening as he can manage nowadays.
[I imagine meeting yourself being one huge Deja-Vu, a feeling that should've snuck up on the readers by now because Jack can read the boy so well.]
"Do I know you?" a tiny voice, higher than he remembers it, asks him. The blue eyes try to pierce him in an attempt to work out why this man feels so familiar, yet isn't.
[Awww… Chibi!Jack! Sometimes you can just tell how gorgeous certain kids will be when they grow up ^^ I should probably tell you that even before 'Adam' I imagined Jack coming from a desert world - I have other fics to prove it, and I'm so proud to have been right for once, even if this wasn't written as the Peninsula]
"Not yet," Jack smiles and curses himself inwardly, as the boy is suddenly rigid, his every muscle ready to run. Time travel is not yet common in these parts of the galaxy, but already being part of the Time Agency is every boy's dream. Only a few, like the one in front of him, learn to distrust any kind of authority with that much power. It's a painful lesson, he remembers.
[xwingace jumped to my rescue here, making sense of why the boy is suddenly careful but doesn't run away immediately, solving it with the appeal coupled with the danger. Only now it makes me wonder if they tell the little children of the future the fairy tale of the Time Travelling Terminator, out to kill boys, to warn them away from becoming heroes ^^]
Jack closes his eyes for a moment, memories assaulting him as he looks at the much younger version of himself, knowing what is still to come.
Jevan, his first partner, bloodied and broken when he pulled him from their wrecked ship -
His best mate, tortured and killed by Daleks while he walked away unscathed.
[It's that same feeling when you look at old family photographs, isn't it? Maybe you can remember the day those faded pictures were taken, but at the same moment you think 'Look, grandma's still alive here'.]
It's an accident that he has met his younger self, but an opportunity nonetheless, Jack realizes suddenly. An opportunity to end this. How often has he wished for a chance like this? He's so tired of all this living sometimes.
[Because even someone like Jack deserves a chance to reconsider. He can't die, but there are still so many ways to end his life... ]
"You're a Time Agent," his younger version says, and his eyes narrow in suspicion, only the thin thread of his curiosity rooting him to the spot in front of this stranger who seems so familiar.
"Maybe," Jack smiles, because he can't help being proud that he'd obviously been a smart kid, spotting a time traveller that easily.
Murielle, his informant and lover dead in his arms because he was reckless -
Estelle, killed because he'd been too close to the truth... he couldn't save them...
This is his only chance.
He knows this boy will run away from this place he still calls home soon. It will be the last time he'll stay in one place for more than mere weeks.
The last time Captain Jack Harkness will be able to find himself, young, mortal. He's too old to care about the timeline anymore, he thinks. He could cause a Blinovitch Limitation Effect. Simply the act of the same being touching in the same point in space-time would be enough to blow them both into oblivion. Maybe. It would be even easier and more certain to kill him without ever laying his hands on him.
His hand twitches, not yet moving towards one of his concealed blasters.
All it'll take is one shot. One shot or even a simple touch and this boy will die, never running away, never joining the Agency, never meeting the Doctor and never becoming immortal. Jack Harkness can't die, but this boy's death will wipe his existence from the universe.
[Laaalaaa, added technobabble for it to make sense to everyone else, and not only me and my strange head. I love my beta ^^ ]
The Doctor, killed by Daleks before finishing the Delta Wave;
Rose, hanging from a barrage balloon, falling to her--
The Doctor, falling, falling down the rocket silo at the end of the universe, never saving the world...
His hand doesn't move.
[Hah! Because despite all the bad memories that he could change by NOT existing, there are some things he could never bear to erase. It's the ultimate cliché about loving and losing, but it's still true for a guy who's by now probably 9000 years old.]
The boy backs away slowly, then runs away, maybe sensing the danger, unsure what to make of this stranger. But that little brain will slowly work it out, Jack is sure. He wonders if he joined the Agency for a particular reason, but he can't remember.
[Tiny little paradox, but I like the idea that he joined because he liked how he himself looked ^^ ]
Jack sighs, walking away through the busy market place, avoiding the Feubonian trader who's arguing with a hissing Manthodean, back to his old, old life.
[Some things just never change… ]
There's still work to do.
[And we're back to 'Before I Sleep' and I can relax, because at least Jack had a choice, no matter how hard that road to the End of Time will become. There's always a choice. ]
I hope that was vaguely interesting... does anyone actually read these?
Comments in blue, I hope you enjoy
Title: And Miles to Go
Summary: This is Jack's only chance to reconsider
Characters: Jack
[Aren't I sneaky? ^^]
Spoilers: None really, but let's say Last of the Time Lords, to be sure.
Rating: None
Word count: 724
Note 1: Thanks to my lovely beta xwingace, who seems to beta at the speed of sound and always asks all the right questions
[She spots all my plotholes. Especially the glaringly obvious ones that are especially embarassing *g*]
Note 2: Inspired by the the word 'tortuous' on tw_wotd_fic and set somewhen during Before I Sleep. Makes sense on its own as well, though. [I always hope that people will read the other fic, too, though, because while it makes sense, it makes even more sense with the one I wrote before. Do I make sense? Probably not...]
Fic Masterlist: Here, uncommented version here.
[Here we are then. This was born quite shortly after writing 'Before I Sleep', because I like to write my own kind of Fix It Fic. 'Before I Sleep' was written because seeing the ultimate fate of humanity as the Toclafane depressed me, 'And Miles to Go' was written because - while in itself conclusive - I couldn't let 'Before I Sleep' stand there alone without getting depressed, too. ]
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
- Robert Frost
[Did I mention that I love this poem? I stumbled over it by accident in some documentary, and it feels so true for so many points in my life. It seemed only natural to give this fic a title that came sooner in the poem than 'before I sleep', and it fits quite well to the feeling of this, too.]
He watches the boy weave his way through the market place, still so innocent, yet clever enough to get out of the Feubonian trader's way and to avert his eyes as a Manthodean hisses at him.
[That first alien name is something close to the German word for 'firethorn' and 'mantodea' is the insect order of Praying Mantises - I like it when alien race names imply their appearance... although probably noone but me gets it. ]
He grew up here, Jack can tell, among the crime and the aliens and the danger. The boy knows how things work around here, knows who to please and who to avoid.
[Note how this still works after Torchwood's 'Adam', even though I can't see many huge marketplaces on the Peninsula - so technically chibi!Jack can't be as young in canon as I make him here... do I hear Star Wars Cantina Music in the distance? Gah.]
The unkempt black hair is shoved out of his face with a small hand [I love that gesture, it's so cute] when something that looks like an impulse makes the boy turn, instantly spotting Jack watching him. Jack knows, and sees, that instincts fight behind those blue eyes: the instinct to flee, and the instinct that feels, that knows.
[How can Jack know those eyes are blue you wonder? Hah! No lazy writing here, but foreshadowing. Not that I've noticed before... *facepalms* ]
Jack's experiencing the same, and he suppresses an involuntary shiver. He pulls his hands out of his coat pockets, trying to be as unthreatening as he can manage nowadays.
[I imagine meeting yourself being one huge Deja-Vu, a feeling that should've snuck up on the readers by now because Jack can read the boy so well.]
"Do I know you?" a tiny voice, higher than he remembers it, asks him. The blue eyes try to pierce him in an attempt to work out why this man feels so familiar, yet isn't.
[Awww… Chibi!Jack! Sometimes you can just tell how gorgeous certain kids will be when they grow up ^^ I should probably tell you that even before 'Adam' I imagined Jack coming from a desert world - I have other fics to prove it, and I'm so proud to have been right for once, even if this wasn't written as the Peninsula]
"Not yet," Jack smiles and curses himself inwardly, as the boy is suddenly rigid, his every muscle ready to run. Time travel is not yet common in these parts of the galaxy, but already being part of the Time Agency is every boy's dream. Only a few, like the one in front of him, learn to distrust any kind of authority with that much power. It's a painful lesson, he remembers.
[xwingace jumped to my rescue here, making sense of why the boy is suddenly careful but doesn't run away immediately, solving it with the appeal coupled with the danger. Only now it makes me wonder if they tell the little children of the future the fairy tale of the Time Travelling Terminator, out to kill boys, to warn them away from becoming heroes ^^]
Jack closes his eyes for a moment, memories assaulting him as he looks at the much younger version of himself, knowing what is still to come.
Jevan, his first partner, bloodied and broken when he pulled him from their wrecked ship -
His best mate, tortured and killed by Daleks while he walked away unscathed.
[It's that same feeling when you look at old family photographs, isn't it? Maybe you can remember the day those faded pictures were taken, but at the same moment you think 'Look, grandma's still alive here'.]
It's an accident that he has met his younger self, but an opportunity nonetheless, Jack realizes suddenly. An opportunity to end this. How often has he wished for a chance like this? He's so tired of all this living sometimes.
[Because even someone like Jack deserves a chance to reconsider. He can't die, but there are still so many ways to end his life... ]
"You're a Time Agent," his younger version says, and his eyes narrow in suspicion, only the thin thread of his curiosity rooting him to the spot in front of this stranger who seems so familiar.
"Maybe," Jack smiles, because he can't help being proud that he'd obviously been a smart kid, spotting a time traveller that easily.
Murielle, his informant and lover dead in his arms because he was reckless -
Estelle, killed because he'd been too close to the truth... he couldn't save them...
This is his only chance.
He knows this boy will run away from this place he still calls home soon. It will be the last time he'll stay in one place for more than mere weeks.
The last time Captain Jack Harkness will be able to find himself, young, mortal. He's too old to care about the timeline anymore, he thinks. He could cause a Blinovitch Limitation Effect. Simply the act of the same being touching in the same point in space-time would be enough to blow them both into oblivion. Maybe. It would be even easier and more certain to kill him without ever laying his hands on him.
His hand twitches, not yet moving towards one of his concealed blasters.
All it'll take is one shot. One shot or even a simple touch and this boy will die, never running away, never joining the Agency, never meeting the Doctor and never becoming immortal. Jack Harkness can't die, but this boy's death will wipe his existence from the universe.
[Laaalaaa, added technobabble for it to make sense to everyone else, and not only me and my strange head. I love my beta ^^ ]
The Doctor, killed by Daleks before finishing the Delta Wave;
Rose, hanging from a barrage balloon, falling to her--
The Doctor, falling, falling down the rocket silo at the end of the universe, never saving the world...
His hand doesn't move.
[Hah! Because despite all the bad memories that he could change by NOT existing, there are some things he could never bear to erase. It's the ultimate cliché about loving and losing, but it's still true for a guy who's by now probably 9000 years old.]
The boy backs away slowly, then runs away, maybe sensing the danger, unsure what to make of this stranger. But that little brain will slowly work it out, Jack is sure. He wonders if he joined the Agency for a particular reason, but he can't remember.
[Tiny little paradox, but I like the idea that he joined because he liked how he himself looked ^^ ]
Jack sighs, walking away through the busy market place, avoiding the Feubonian trader who's arguing with a hissing Manthodean, back to his old, old life.
[Some things just never change… ]
There's still work to do.
[And we're back to 'Before I Sleep' and I can relax, because at least Jack had a choice, no matter how hard that road to the End of Time will become. There's always a choice. ]
I hope that was vaguely interesting... does anyone actually read these?