really? *blushes* thank you I wrote it for my creative writing class. I have to edit it some to make is flow better... was there any parts that you think need to be tweaked?
let's see...to give you the full experience of my creative writing critique, i'm not sure about the line "macho men and willing women" though i'm not sure what you could use in its place. and i think it could do without the "you fear love"-"who wouldn't" stanzas without losing anything. i really like the enjambment best of all, and the lines "serotonin/you get that from chocolate".
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*blushes*
thank you
I wrote it for my creative writing class. I have to edit it some to make is flow better...
was there any parts that you think need to be tweaked?
ps
you made my day a little bit brighter
<3
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glad to make you happy =D
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