moment of hesitation
Ray/Ray, not explicit, prompt--moment of hesitation
moment of hesitation
There it was, that moment, that moment of hesitation when he could go forward or back, or stay right in the middle, maybe, and everything would change, one way or another. He could kiss Kowalski, could lean forward just that's hair's breadth of charged space between them and put his mouth on Kowalski's, lick his lips, lick his way inside and taste him. Put his mouth on Kowalski and feel the sharp intake of breath that meant Kowalski was surprised that Ray'd finally done it, finally stopped dicking around and playing maybe and finally, finally, just kissed him. And maybe Kowalski would freeze for a minute too, have his own moment when he had to decide-back, forward, back-and what did Kowalski want from anyway? Was it just relief or forgetting or pretending some things just didn't matter anymore? Or was it something more, the something Ray sometimes thought he saw lurking inside those eyes, and the way they watched him, all the time now it seemed. Watching.
Or maybe Kowalski wouldn't freeze; maybe with all that watching he'd already figured out what he wanted, whatever that was, and maybe he'd hold Ray off and say, no, no, this isn't right, I'm not settling, don't wanna settle, maybe I want you but I don't love you and this isn't right, this is wrong, I can't, I'm sorry, I can't.
Or maybe it would be a short kiss, just a brief kiss, just the touch of Kowalski's lips on his, and maybe some tongue, maybe a soft swipe across his lips and darting away just as Ray tried to chase it, and maybe Kowalski would smile and maybe Ray would smile back, and laugh, kinda low and nervous, and then maybe there'd be another kiss.
Or maybe Kowalski would grab the lapels of his coat and hold on tight and dive right into Ray's mouth ("the fall will probably kill you") and it will be all hot and messy, Kowalski's sharp teeth against his lips, and maybe he'll suck Kowalski's tongue, or maybe Kowalski will suck his, and maybe Kowalski will grope around under his coat and wrap his fist around him, heavy and hard, and he'll get his hands on Kowalski, rough denim, and maybe he'll scrape his hand on the zipper, trying to get inside, and they'll make noises, desperate, needy, anguished noises that bounce off the windows, and Ray won't be able to get close enough, not ever, and Kowalski will demand, are you sure, Vecchio, are you goddamned sure?
And Ray will be, and he is, and the moment is over, the moment is gone, and Ray leans over and kisses him.
moment of hesitation
There it was, that moment, that moment of hesitation when he could go forward or back, or stay right in the middle, maybe, and everything would change, one way or another. He could kiss Kowalski, could lean forward just that's hair's breadth of charged space between them and put his mouth on Kowalski's, lick his lips, lick his way inside and taste him. Put his mouth on Kowalski and feel the sharp intake of breath that meant Kowalski was surprised that Ray'd finally done it, finally stopped dicking around and playing maybe and finally, finally, just kissed him. And maybe Kowalski would freeze for a minute too, have his own moment when he had to decide-back, forward, back-and what did Kowalski want from anyway? Was it just relief or forgetting or pretending some things just didn't matter anymore? Or was it something more, the something Ray sometimes thought he saw lurking inside those eyes, and the way they watched him, all the time now it seemed. Watching.
Or maybe Kowalski wouldn't freeze; maybe with all that watching he'd already figured out what he wanted, whatever that was, and maybe he'd hold Ray off and say, no, no, this isn't right, I'm not settling, don't wanna settle, maybe I want you but I don't love you and this isn't right, this is wrong, I can't, I'm sorry, I can't.
Or maybe it would be a short kiss, just a brief kiss, just the touch of Kowalski's lips on his, and maybe some tongue, maybe a soft swipe across his lips and darting away just as Ray tried to chase it, and maybe Kowalski would smile and maybe Ray would smile back, and laugh, kinda low and nervous, and then maybe there'd be another kiss.
Or maybe Kowalski would grab the lapels of his coat and hold on tight and dive right into Ray's mouth ("the fall will probably kill you") and it will be all hot and messy, Kowalski's sharp teeth against his lips, and maybe he'll suck Kowalski's tongue, or maybe Kowalski will suck his, and maybe Kowalski will grope around under his coat and wrap his fist around him, heavy and hard, and he'll get his hands on Kowalski, rough denim, and maybe he'll scrape his hand on the zipper, trying to get inside, and they'll make noises, desperate, needy, anguished noises that bounce off the windows, and Ray won't be able to get close enough, not ever, and Kowalski will demand, are you sure, Vecchio, are you goddamned sure?
And Ray will be, and he is, and the moment is over, the moment is gone, and Ray leans over and kisses him.