Bratz Fanfic: Is She for Real?
I have carried through with my original threat and have written Bratz Sue-fic. I'm sure my prose needs work, so let me know where the rough edges are.
~ ~ ~
( Described in the First Paragraph )
~ ~ ~
( Described in the First Paragraph )
Comments 7
Reply
My hippocampus compels me to ask; what did you like best about it?
Reply
Reply
Goodness!
When you introduce the Bratz you should name them as quickly as possible.
I tried to, but I'm trying to be third-person descriptive (aka Show, Don't Tell). I'll see if I could rewrite better. Anyway, previously named characters will be named from the start in subsequent fics.
As for "Angel", that's a nickname; each of the Bratz has one, and they use them interchangeably with their birth names.
I'd say make their personalities more distinct but that would require them to have a personality. =D
Here's a brief summary.
• Yasmin; "Pretty Princess": She's this close to being One of Us, given her interest in books, documentaries, and leftist politics. Also notable is her lower than normal sense of self-preservation• Sasha; "Bunny Boo": Mildly token black. Most critical-minded of the four ( ... )
Reply
I tried to, but I'm trying to be third-person descriptive (aka Show, Don't Tell). I'll see if I could rewrite better. Anyway, previously named characters will be named from the start in subsequent fics.
You can be third person descriptive and still show and not tell by using a POV like limited or omniscient 3rd Person.
As for "Angel", that's a nickname; each of the Bratz has one, and they use them interchangeably with their birth names.
I got that one, I was just saying that you named one of them and then kept on referring to her by her skin color.
Also, Janet's way smarter than me; she's a self-educated super-genius, whereas I'm merely a mostly-ignorant normal genius. I plan on getting inside her head by showing how she answers questions and what she does -- ideally, she'll be outlandish enough to disambiguate.You can still get into her head without being a total genius. Lots of authors write people smarter than them. You just have to get their attitude across. They're likely not going to be thinking in quantum physics most ( ... )
Reply
I'm not sure how much detail I can go into here - my scanty knowledge of Bratz is from shops and the odd bit of TV. But I'm familiar with the type - enough to find this story very entertaining.
It's a clever twist to take four Mary Sues of one type and play them off against a Mary Sue of a completely different type. I especially loved the way their thoughts completely failed to stand up to Janet's logic - walking nearly 2 miles to Chloe's house was a particularly nice touch - and the ending - and the spike heels and miniskirt on a hiking trip (not to mention remembering her outfit).
I'm not sure that civilisation is safe if Janet and the Bratz are let loose on it at the same time! Will there be further episodes?
If you want concrit, there are a couple of things. This story really picked up, but the beginning was just a trifle slow. Also, "youth" is usually used for young men only.
Still, I'd love to see some more of this terrifying combination...
Reply
Quite a story. Will there be sequels?
That's the plan, I even have a conclusion to the series in mind.
It's a clever twist to take four Mary Sues of one type and play them off against a Mary Sue of a completely different type.
This analogy comes to mind.
especially loved the way their thoughts completely failed to stand up to Janet's logic[.]
She's basically Daria with muscles and a more Jane-like disposition.
Also, "youth" is usually used for young men only.
Well huh, I learned something new.
I'd love to see some more of this terrifying combination.
*has happys*
Reply
Leave a comment