Bratz Fanfic: Is She for Real?
I have carried through with my original threat and have written Bratz Sue-fic. I'm sure my prose needs work, so let me know where the rough edges are.
~ ~ ~
In another bright and sunny early afternoon, it was a peaceful day at Stiles High.
"Hey, retard!"
It was a peaceful day at Stiles High.
At a table in the corner of the cafeteria was a young woman and two girls. The young woman had brown hair in a high ponytail. Her clothing -- leather jacket, fingerless gloves, shirt, jeans, boots -- was all in black. Even sitting down, she looked tall and imposing. The girls addressing her were blond twins in matching pink cocktail dresses and platform heels, one of whom had a bandaged nose.
"Hm?", replied the young woman.
"Yeah, so, um, what's a retard doing in high school?", demanded the clear-faced twin.
"Yeah, you have to be, like, smart to get in, or something," added the bandaged-nosed girl, her voice higher pitched than her twin.
"How did you find out I came from a special-ed school?", asked the young woman calmly.
"We, um-"
"Does it, like, matter?", interrupted Clear-Face. "We want to know, like, what the hell you're doing here."
"Slumming, apparently," the young woman muttered.
"Huh?"
"Let's play a game," suggested the accosted youth, "it's called Math Bout Shout Out."
"What t- We don't wanna play your stupid retard game," snapped Clear-Face.
"Not even to show everyone how dumb I am?"
"Um-", said Bandage-Nose.
"The rules are simple," the young woman explained, "you give me a math problem and I tell you if it's too easy or not. If it's too easy, you give me a slightly harder problem. If I say it's too hard, you get to shout out how I'm too stupid to solve that problem."
"Um, like, um, yeah, okay, I guess. Like, what do you think?", asked the unbandaged blond.
"Like, uh, yeah. How hard could it be," her sister replied.
There was a wait of several seconds before the sitting brunette calmly spoke up.
"Are you thinking of a starting question?"
"What?"
"The game I told you about."
"Like, yeah! Quit rushing me already!", snapped Clear-Face. She paused a bit before asking her first question. "Okay, what's 1+1?"
"Too easy," the black-clad youth answered. There was another pause before she spoke up again. "You have to give me a harder problem now."
"Okay, like, um, what's 2+2?"
"Too easy."
"Uh, 5x5?", asked Bandage-Nose.
"Too easy."
"Um, 8x18?", asked Clear-Face.
"Too easy."
"Okay," Clear-Face a bit to think out her next question, "so what's, um, 1,000,747x1,000,714?"
"Hmm...", mused the taller youth, pausing several seconds in thought.
"Ah ha!", exclaimed the interrogating twin. "You're so stupid! You're so stupid!", she mockingly sang out.
"Hey! I only got one turn!" whined her sister.
"Shut up, dipwad!"
"You won, now announce how stupid I am to everyone," the game's loser helpfully suggested.
"Like, don't tell us what to do!", snapped Clear-Face. SO, LIKE, HEY EVERYONE!", she called out to the entire cafeteria, "THIS GIRL HERE IS, LIKE, SO RETARDED!"
"Yeah!", her sister chimed in.
"YEAH! AND SHE'S LIKE REALLY RETARDED SHE, LIKE, COULDN'T SOLVE THIS, LIKE, MATH PROBLEM AND, LIKE, uh..."
"Tell 'em which one," the brunette suggested, quickly and carefully packing her things away.
"Hey! Yeah, and like, uh, THERE WAS THIS MATH PROBLEM, IT WAS, LIKE, UH...ONE MILLION AND, uh..."
"1,000,747x1,000,714," replied the calm young woman as she was finishing packing.
"Yeah, LIKE ONE MILLION AND SEVENTY-FOURTY uh--" She was abruptly cut off, however, by voices of disapproval and annoyance from the rest of the patrons. Garbage was thrown in her general direction. There was whining from the bandaged sibling, but the table's previous occupant paid it no mind as she rose to her noticeable full height and began to look for another table
* * *
At another table, about two minutes earlier, a quartet of girls were sitting, snacking, and socializing. Said foursome appeared seeming assembled for a pro-diversity public service announcement. One was a natural blond, another was African-American, the third was northwest Asian, and the last of the four seemed to be Middle-Eastern, or at least having a very good tan. Three were listening to the latest social news from the blond.
"...said to him that she'll understand if you're g-"
"Hey, retard!"
"Oh, not them again!" complained the tan girl as she and her friends looked toward a table in the corner. No one else paid the situation much mind, the cafeteria being noisy. "Who are they har- The new girl?! Oh that's low."
"That's normal for them," commented the blond girl. "Hey, Bunny Boo, isn't that the girl you said was using steroids?"
"Why does everybody keep bringing that up?" asked the black girl exasperatedly. "She's a teen that looks like a Bendflex model! What am I supposed to think?"
"That she eats right and exercises a lot?" offered the tan girl.
"From a teen? As if."
"Well you said she didn't look man-feced and pimply."
"And I said she could've had surgery."
"Guys! There's a person being bullied here," interrupted the blond girl, mildly angered. "We can figure out what she does or doesn't do after we help her!"
"Sorry, Angel, you're right," apologized the black girl.
"Yeah," the tan girl continued, "she seems pretty smart as well."
"Yeah, totally," the Asian girl interjected. "I mean, just the other day in chemistry she-"
"Guys! Are you listening?" the blond girl snapped. "There's a person being Twevilized that needs our help right now! I'm going over there," the blond girl said while standing up, "you can either follow me or just si-"
"Whoa, hold up there, Angel," the black girl said, seating her friend down, "I think this girl can hold her own. Look," she said pointing out the corner table, "she's had, what, a minute with the Twevils, while still keeping her cool?"
The other three looked at the corner table and saw the logic in the argument. They couldn't hear what was happening through the ambient cafeteria noise, but they saw enough to be amazed.
"Holy sh- did she, did she actually get them to be quiet, twice?" asked the asian girl.
The girls continued to watch, hoping to know more of what was going on. Their concentration was intent enough that they were startled by-
"SO, LIKE, HEY EVERYONE! THIS GIRL HERE IS, LIKE, SO RETARDED!"
The four girls were speechless, not quite knowing the right exclamation. The rest of the dining students likely felt likewise, now noticing the goings on at the corner table.
"YEAH! AND SHE'S LIKE REALLY RETARDED SHE, LIKE, COULDN'T SOLVE THIS, LIKE, MATH PROBLEM AND, LIKE-"
"Like she's had enough," the tan girl muttered, regarding the brunette packing her things at the distant table.
A slight pause. "THERE WAS THIS MATH PROBLEM, IT WAS, LIKE, UH...ONE MILLION AND-" A longer pause. The ambient noise sounded disapproving. "LIKE ONE MILLION AND SEVENTY-FOURTY." There was a half second pause before the patrons expressed their disapproval both verbally and with many pieces of crumpled paper. Most of the paper was actually dry. The four girls briefly burst into laughter, expressing approval of the overall situation. They calmed down upon noticing the apparently rather tall schoolmate looking for someplace to eat.
"Oh, where's she going to go now?" the blond girl worried.
"With the best!" her darkest companion exclaimed. "Yo, girlfriend! Over here!" The tall young woman took notice and walked toward the group's table. "Have a seat over here, girl! Whatever you did was totally way cool!"
"Yeah, you were totally slammin' the way you handled those Twevils!" the Asian girl complemented as their guest sat down.
"Thank you. Who were they?" the guest asked.
"They're the Twevils, 'cause they're twins and totally evil!"
"Their names?"
"The one with the nose job is Kaycee, the other one's Kirstee," the tan girl answered.
"Hey, we should tell her who we are," insisted the blond girl.
"Yeah, you're right. We're the Bratz! The girls with the passion for fashion!"
"My thanks that this is one of the few times I forget to be observant, I thought I recognized you from somewhere.
"You know us?!" the Asian girl enthused.
"I've seen a magazine with the word "Bratz" captioned on it around here, and some girls posing on the cover."
"That's us!"
"Enough about us, tell us about yourself!" the blond girl cut in. "What's your name?"
"You never told me yours," the guest replied.
"Oh. Well...I'm Angel," the blond girl introduced herself, "and this is Kool Kat, Pretty Princess, and Bunny Boo," coincindentially introducing them from lightest to darkest.
"I'm...Janet Princeton Höltzer. My full name's a mouthful, so I just go by "Janet"."
"Chloe, I think she means our real names," the tan girl noted.
"Oh, sorry. I'm Chloe, and this is Jade, Yasmin, and Sasha," the blond girl introduced, keeping the same order as before.
There was a short pause of several seconds that was quickly becoming a long and confused one. "So...tell us about yourself?", inquired Chloe.
"Anything specific?", replied Janet. She didn't have to even wait a second.
"What kind of bands and music do you like?", quickly asked Sasha.
"What kind of boys do you like?", asked Jade just as fast.
"Where are you from? What's your family like?", Chloe asked as quickly.
"What are your hobbies?", asked Yasmin no slower than the others.
Janet showed the barest hint of shock in her face. "Is it okay if I answer in sequence?"
"I don't see why not," said Sasha.
"No fair! You always barge in first!", Jade complained.
"I so do not!"
"Answering the first question given," Janet interrupted, "I wouldn't know one band from another apart from the elastic one I tie my hair back with, they all fade in and out so fast."
"Say what?", Jade exclaimed. "Yaz, is she saying Boyz B Boyz are gonna break up?"
"Jade, don't interrupt."
"To answer that question, I've heard of them only just now. To answer the question about music...I've always been at a loss to describe it-"
"Is it like hip-hop?", asked Sasha.
"Industrial?", asked Jade.
"New-age?", asked Yasmin.
Janet stared at them for two moments. "Now I'm quite confused, that doesn't happen often. Perhaps I could try to describe what I like?"
"Oh, sure. No problem. Sorry about interrupting you there," replied Yasmin.
"No problem, likewise." Janet paused in thought for another two seconds before answering. "Imagine a steam pipe given a flowing rhythm and rendered through a sound mixer. That's not all of it, but it's a start."
It was the Bratz who stared this time, hiding their thoughts not at all. "Okay, now we're confused," said Jade.
"I'll give you a listen to it sometime. Moving on to the boys-"
"Yeah!", Jade shot out.
"-I prefer my boys...feminine, for lack of a better term."
"So you like girls?", replied Chloe. "I just want you to know that we're totally okay with that."
"No...", corrected Janet, "I prefer boys that aren't so masculine, for the most part. You can say I'm into boys that are more pretty than...well, what the typical guy is like." The Bratz stared back again, as if being told that scooping in ice cream helps computers function. "You're looking at me funny now."
"Hey, I have no problem," Jade said, "I can totally relate."
"That's 'cause you're into anime and all that," said Yasmin.
"You're one to talk, what with all the fanfiction you write," rejoined Jade.
"Moving along to Chloe's questions," Janet cut in, hoping to prevent another argument, "I've pretty much spent my whole life in the big county southish of here, moving from one special-ed school to another."
"You don't look special-ed," said Chloe, "um, no offense."
"None taken. I got shoved into that part of the system due to my ADD diagnosis-"
"How horrible!" Chloe exclaimed.
"Well, you're certainly the calmest ADD kid I've ever seen," Sasha said.
"Sasha!"
"Don't worry about it, her surprise makes perfect sense. I was always ahead in my schoolwork, being the kind of person that just wants to get things done that I am. It helped that I never told the teachers how far ahead I was," she said with a slight smile. "I guess you can say that slumming's a weakness of mine, much to my parents' concern. Speaking of whom," Janet anticipated, "My father's a biologist and my mother's a physicist. I know I'm using broad terms for fields with multiple specializations but my parents are polymaths. They're university professors is what they do with their broad knowledge."
The Bratz blinked a bit. "Cool," was all Yasmin had to say.
"Perfect timing, I was just going to answer your question," Janet said.
"Aw..." moaned Chloe"
"Hm?"
"But you didn't tell us what they were like."
"Like?"
"You know, personalities and stuff."
"Ah, that, the human element. Sorry, I'll get into that detail later. Now, hobbies," Janet paused for a moment to orginize her answer. "I never know where to start," she muttered.
"Working out?" suggested Sasha?
"So you've noticed. As good a place to start as any. I suppose it comes from my mild obsession with personal perfection. It also calms me down after waking up and helps bring order to my life. I think I started doing it at random times to relieve str-"
"Classes will resume in 10 minutes, please get ready for the next period," announced the school PA.
"Damnit, not now..." complained Yasmin.
"But we have ten minutes," commented Janet.
"I don't know about you, girl, but we need that time to pack up, get to class, and make sure our good looks are in order," Sasha said.
"Okay..." Janet replied weakly, not seeming to underderstand the importance of makeup. "So when can we continue our conversation?" she asked.
After the Bratz stoped to think a bit, Jade spoke up. "I know! Slumber party at Chloe's!"
"Yeah! Slammin'! Good idea!"
"That was quick," Janet commented.
"Uh, you don't mind, do you?" asked Chloe.
"No, trust me, no. I am curious about this socialization everyone's so keen on."
"Great! Then it's a date!" enthused Jade, "Com'on guys, stylin's a waitin'!"
"Bye! See ya! See ya later! Be cool!" With those parting words the Bratz promptly left for their urgent business together in the girl's bathroom.
Janet packed away her things a second time, and promptly walked off to follow the Bratz.
* * *
It was a bright and clear night, the ideal of suburban tranquility. Almost everything around the house was appropriate for a promotional image: the Art Deco-esque decor, the large and healthy front yard, the tree that would be iconic were not for a lack of a treehouse, and the general cleanliness of the surroundings in general. Only a tall woman in a dark robe toting a large pack, briskly walking to the front door, contrasted with the overall image.
Janet rang the doorbell, checked her watch, and waited while watching the nearby tree. A young woman with black hair, a tiny silvery-white nightdress, and matching platform heels soon answered the door.
"Um, Janet, hi," Jade greeted. She was looking at Janet's ensemble, stylish steel-reinforced boots and a dark purple housecoat -- or bathrobe -- from what she could see, very obviously.
"Was I supposed to be fashionably late?" asked Janet.
"Huh? Uh, no. But...why're you wearing your jammies out here?"
"I didn't want to put on my normal clothes only to take them off later. They really were no trouble to walk here in."
"You walked here wearing that?"
"Yes, I wanted to take in the new scenery. It was a nice half-hour walk."
"You were out there for half an hour?!"
"That's apparently how long it takes for me to walk a quarter less than two miles." Janet's face revealed no irony.
"Two miles?! You walked here two miles?" Jade's face revealed more than her outfit.
"No, 1.75. It pleases me that you are impressed. May I come in? I think you may be getting cold by an open door, wearing a baby-doll and high heels," Janet said plainly.
Jade silently stepped aside and let Janet walk in, sniffing the air as she walked a bit past the threshold. Jade noticed that Janet was also wearing a large backpack.
"I'm not overdressed, am I?" Janet asked.
"Wha-" stumbled Jade, "Um, mm, no, no, not at all."
"Oh, good," Janet said. She paused to briefly examine Jade's nightgown. "Oh, I hope I'm not rude for asking this, but exactly how casual is this slumber party?" she asked.
"Hm? Oh, don't worry, we're totally way cool with being casual with each other," Jade replied.
"How casual?"
"Huh?"
"You're wearing a baby-doll, and high heels," repeated Janet matter-of-factly.
It was a few moments before Jade expressed shock. "Janet! Were not like that!" she blurted out.
"And neither am I," Janet replied. "Glad to know I won't have to think myself out of another awkward situation. So, where is everyone?" she said conversationally.
"Up the stairs, to your right. Can't miss 'em," Jade said plainly, still in a bit of shock.
"Thanks," Janet said, walking briskly to the staircase.
Jade stared at Janet before pinching herself, wincing as she did so. "Nope, not in my bed."
* * *
Seconds later, Janet was at the door to Chloe's bedroom. Chloe, noticing the new arrival, immediately got up to greet her.
"Janet! Hey, how are you?" Chloe gushed.
"Easygoing as usual. This is your house, right?" Janet asked evenly.
"Yeah..."
"Could you come out here for a moment? I'd like to clear something by you."
"Um, sure." Chloe followed Janet to to a spot aside from her bedroom door. "So, whaddaya want?"
"The twins I met earlier today are in the tree by your bedrom window, with spy equipment," Janet calmly pointed out.
"AGAIN?!"
Janet almost showed an emotion. "Interesting. Anyway," Janet continued on the original topic, "do want me to spray them or would you rather do it?"
"Spray? Like pest control?" asked Chloe. "I wish." she concluded bitterly.
"That can be granted easily," obliged Janet as she reached into her left sleave and gave Chloe a spray can.
Chloe looked at the can, not sure what to make of it. "Bear repellant?"
"A gift," Janet answered. "Works great on humans," she said with a slight but noticible smile. "I'll clean up if they vomit, though," she concluded diplomatically.
Chloe walked back into her room, staring intently at her present. "Wish I had this when we were in the woods those times..." she muttered to herself.
Janet blinked, still and speechless for a moment. "Somebody's happy," she said to herself as she leisurely walked into the bedroom.
* * *
Camouflaged as can be expected in hot pink sweat suits were two blond teens peering through binoculars into a window. One was also pointing a parabolic dish at the window. Likewise, they were as quiet and disciplined as can be expected.
"Like, what're they saying?" asked Kaycee.
"Shut up, dipwad!" snapped Kirstee. "Quit asking me tha-"
"Hey isn't that, like, that retard that embar-"
"Shut up!" Kirstee repeated yet again. "What's she doing here?" she said to herself.
"Like, I dunno."
"I said, shut up! I wasn't, like, asking you your opinion."
"Well who were you asking?"
"No one!"
"Then why were you asking in th-"
"Shut up!"
A window suddenly slammed open. "HEY! TWEEVES! YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I MACE YOU GOOD!" demanded an irate Chloe.
"Like, what the hell is this?" demanded Kirstee, annoyed with her spying being interrupted so.
"I should be asking you that!" Chloe retorted "Leave us the hell alone and get the hell out, now! 10..."
"Is she going to like, spray us?" asked Kaycee worriedly.
"7..."
"Like, as if," answered Kirstee. "She doesn't have the guts."
"4..."
Seeing that Chloe was still counting, Kaycee scrambled down the tree. "I don't wanna get mace up my nose!" she cried out, running off in panic.
"Get back here, dipwad!" ordered Kirstee as she climbed down and chased after her sister.
"But she'll ruin my nose job!" Kaycee whined as she ran off.
The bickering faded into ambiance as Chloe shut her window.
* * *
"Wow, Angel, are you okay?" asked Sasha.
"Yeah, that was kinda...out of character," Yasmin pointed out.
"Yeah guys," Chloe replied, "I just needed to get that out of my system...and get them out of our hair."
"Where'd you get that mace?" asked Yasmin.
"Let me guess, Janet gave it to you," Jade said as she walked into the bedroom.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" asked Chloe.
"Oh, I just found out she's full of surprises. Hey, Janet, tell us all how you got here."
"I walked," said Janet.
"All the way from her house with that heavy pack!" Jade added.
"How f-" began Yasmin.
"1.75 miles," Janet answered. "That's an est-"
"You were out all night getting here?!" Chloe cut in.
"She says it only took half an hour," Jade answered evenly.
"You didn't have to rush here with that heavy...thing!" Chloe told Janet with concern. "Why didn't you get your parents to drive you?"
"They're busy tonight," Janet said.
"You could've called one of us," Sasha suggested.
"I only asked for what time to meet you here. I neglected asking for phone numbers since we were all in a hurry."
"What were you rushing for?"
"I wanted to get a seat near the teacher."
"Jan," Jade said, "I like chemistry -- even if DelRio's a bore -- but really, you gotta relax, and you can start by getting into something more comfortable. Aren't you hot?"
"Literally, as well. Are you sure you're not trying to seduce me?"
"No- I mean yes!"
"Humor, Jade," Janet answered with a slight smile. "I go by Janet, by the way. Would it be all right if I changed here?" asked Janet as she knelt down to untie her boots. "I'm not hiding anything indecent and I really am feeling a bit overheated."
"Hey, nothing we haven't seen in the locker room," Sasha nonchalantly said.
Janet smiled at that. After finishing with her boots, she shrugged off her pack.
*thump*
Janet next flipped off her robe, revealing toned arms. With the right arm she tucked her hand down her collar and whipped her shirt off all in a moment, showing off a muscular torso covered only by a sports bra. She finished her stripping by deftly peeling off her pajama pants while rolling on her back, exposing black briefs and curved, sinuous legs. She rolled back up into a kneel, still smiling.
Yasmin broke the brief shock and awe by quickly walking behind Janet and checking her back. "See, no backne! She's clean!" she pointed said to Sasha.
"'Kay, you were right, she is just a health nut!" Sasha relented. Girl," Sasha addressed Janet, "you like messin' with people's heads, don't you?"
"Playing with minds is fun and educational," said janet in a pleased tone. "I was going to continue with my other hobbies, I believe?"
"Yea- Oh wow, thanks!" said Yasmin. "So, tell us the things you like or like doing," she queried.
"In addition to this day's show and tell," Janet began, "I list among my interests documentaries-"
"Wow, cool! Me too!" blurted Yasmin.
"-news radio, statistical analysis and rendering, future bioengineering, alternate physics, interdisciplinary research, the natural sciences in general, library science in general, computer games, computer art via abstract mathematics, applied psychology, martial arts, and leisurely walks at night," finished Janet in one easy breath.
The Bratz were again bemused, then Chloe broke the silence. "What do you like doing with friends?"
"What friends?" asked Janet, again with no irony.
"Well...we're your friends now!" said Chloe. "What'd you like do with us?" she asked simply.
"I'm enjoying answering questions," answered Janet simply.
"Okay, tell us about your family, what they're like as people."
"Sure. I'll start with my mother, she's quite the character..."
* * *
"...and mentorship grew into love," Janet concluded. "What?"
"At 16?" asked Sasha with some disgust.
"So? She waited until he was 18 before consummating said love," Janet reasoned.
"T.M.I.!" Sasha exclaimed.
That reminds me," mused Jade, "what'd you mean about someone putting the moves on you during a sleepover before?"
"Exactly that; let me tell you the specifics about her..."
Janet continued smoothly in spite of the raised eyebrows.
* * *
"...I hope you won't think less of me."
"Janet, why'd you think we'd be like that?" inquired Jade.
"I didn't reciprocate her genuine love mainly because of her body."
"So? I don't mean to be cold but she just plain wasn't your kind of kink. Most people would've plain told her to fuck off for having her head up her shoujo fantasy-"
"Yeah, you're one to talk," Sasha playfully sniped.
"Oh, up yours," Jade calmly said.
"No, up yours," Sasha said back.
"Speaking of what's up with yours," Janet quickly interrupted, "I'm curious about this being a repeat visit from the twee twins, Chloe."
"Well, you see," Chloe began, "the Twevils snuck into my house one evening while we were playing Truth or Dare..."
Janet's face scrunched a bit in bewilderment.
* * *
"So not only did you wear a miniskirt and spike-heeled boots while rock climbing, you actually remember precisely what you wore?" Janet asked, less than evenly.
"Well, yeah; you can't have a passion for fashion without a good memory for it. Besides, you have'ta look good for the guys."
"I thought it was just you and Kaycee?"
"It's the principle of the thing. Speaking of guys, why don'tcha tell us more about you and guys?"
"Yeah, spill, girlfriend!"
"What specific details interest you?"
"Umm...tell us about your dream date."
"Gladly," Janet began with a growing smirk.
* * *
"Do not want! Do not want!" Yasmin exclaimed while covering her ears.
"Yeah, I think I heard enough," Chloe said quickly.
"More than enough," Sasha added.
"Fine," Janet relented. "I'll have to hear about your dream dates sometime."
"Sure, I'll be thinking of mine just to keep from having nightmares about yours."
"Hey, what time is it?" asked Jade.
"Ten-thrity-six and fourty-seven seconds," answered Janet.
"Not anymore," Yasmin quipped. "But, yeah, I'm getting too sleepy to talk or think right now. We should all get out beauty rest." Everyone else nodded and murmured in assent.
"Now that I won't be interrupting anything, may I make a request?" Janet asked.
"Uh, sure. What is it?"
"May I work for you?"
Yasmin perked up considerably. "Say what?"
"I'd like to help build a burgeoning fashion magazine. What positions are available?"
"Um...well..."
"All right, why don't you want to hire me?"
"It's not that, it's...just...surprising given your interests."
"Creation and destruction intrigue me, and I like doing a variety of activities. If nothing else, it'll give me some practice with office work for when I get into corporate espionage."
"I don't know whatch're gettin' at with destruction-" Sasha started.
"Change, societal apoptosis, out with the old-" Janet started to list.
"Okay, I do see whatch're gettin' at, but office work?"
"Yes."
"Why would you want that?"
"Machinery fascinates me. I can even tell you why you'd want me in the office. Am I correct in assuming that a passion for fashion doesn't extend to accounts payable? How about supply chains? User statistics? Search engine op-"
"Woah! You're accepted," Chloe halted, "no need for the hard sell."
"And I was just getting into my monologue, too. Just as well since I really need my sleep."
"Shouldn't we, ya'know, vote on it first?" Sasha asked.
"Bunny Boo's right, we do everything as a team," Chloe insisted. "All in favor of having Janet as a member of Bratz Magazine?" The Bratz all raised their hands.
"Bunny Boo, I thought you'd vote against."
"Hey, I know talent when I see it!" Sasha replied. Janet smiled.
"Aww, look, you made Janet feel all warm and fuzzy!" Chloe said affectionately. Janet's face was blank again. The other Bratz couldn't help but giggle at that.
"All right, it's settled," said Yasmin, "Janet is now one of us. Now let's look forward to the future of Bratz Magazine!"
"For friendship!" exclaimed Chloe.
"For fashion!" exclaimed Jade.
"For profit." concluded Janet. "What?"
The Bratz broke into laughter as if it were the end of an episode.
The End.
~ ~ ~
In another bright and sunny early afternoon, it was a peaceful day at Stiles High.
"Hey, retard!"
It was a peaceful day at Stiles High.
At a table in the corner of the cafeteria was a young woman and two girls. The young woman had brown hair in a high ponytail. Her clothing -- leather jacket, fingerless gloves, shirt, jeans, boots -- was all in black. Even sitting down, she looked tall and imposing. The girls addressing her were blond twins in matching pink cocktail dresses and platform heels, one of whom had a bandaged nose.
"Hm?", replied the young woman.
"Yeah, so, um, what's a retard doing in high school?", demanded the clear-faced twin.
"Yeah, you have to be, like, smart to get in, or something," added the bandaged-nosed girl, her voice higher pitched than her twin.
"How did you find out I came from a special-ed school?", asked the young woman calmly.
"We, um-"
"Does it, like, matter?", interrupted Clear-Face. "We want to know, like, what the hell you're doing here."
"Slumming, apparently," the young woman muttered.
"Huh?"
"Let's play a game," suggested the accosted youth, "it's called Math Bout Shout Out."
"What t- We don't wanna play your stupid retard game," snapped Clear-Face.
"Not even to show everyone how dumb I am?"
"Um-", said Bandage-Nose.
"The rules are simple," the young woman explained, "you give me a math problem and I tell you if it's too easy or not. If it's too easy, you give me a slightly harder problem. If I say it's too hard, you get to shout out how I'm too stupid to solve that problem."
"Um, like, um, yeah, okay, I guess. Like, what do you think?", asked the unbandaged blond.
"Like, uh, yeah. How hard could it be," her sister replied.
There was a wait of several seconds before the sitting brunette calmly spoke up.
"Are you thinking of a starting question?"
"What?"
"The game I told you about."
"Like, yeah! Quit rushing me already!", snapped Clear-Face. She paused a bit before asking her first question. "Okay, what's 1+1?"
"Too easy," the black-clad youth answered. There was another pause before she spoke up again. "You have to give me a harder problem now."
"Okay, like, um, what's 2+2?"
"Too easy."
"Uh, 5x5?", asked Bandage-Nose.
"Too easy."
"Um, 8x18?", asked Clear-Face.
"Too easy."
"Okay," Clear-Face a bit to think out her next question, "so what's, um, 1,000,747x1,000,714?"
"Hmm...", mused the taller youth, pausing several seconds in thought.
"Ah ha!", exclaimed the interrogating twin. "You're so stupid! You're so stupid!", she mockingly sang out.
"Hey! I only got one turn!" whined her sister.
"Shut up, dipwad!"
"You won, now announce how stupid I am to everyone," the game's loser helpfully suggested.
"Like, don't tell us what to do!", snapped Clear-Face. SO, LIKE, HEY EVERYONE!", she called out to the entire cafeteria, "THIS GIRL HERE IS, LIKE, SO RETARDED!"
"Yeah!", her sister chimed in.
"YEAH! AND SHE'S LIKE REALLY RETARDED SHE, LIKE, COULDN'T SOLVE THIS, LIKE, MATH PROBLEM AND, LIKE, uh..."
"Tell 'em which one," the brunette suggested, quickly and carefully packing her things away.
"Hey! Yeah, and like, uh, THERE WAS THIS MATH PROBLEM, IT WAS, LIKE, UH...ONE MILLION AND, uh..."
"1,000,747x1,000,714," replied the calm young woman as she was finishing packing.
"Yeah, LIKE ONE MILLION AND SEVENTY-FOURTY uh--" She was abruptly cut off, however, by voices of disapproval and annoyance from the rest of the patrons. Garbage was thrown in her general direction. There was whining from the bandaged sibling, but the table's previous occupant paid it no mind as she rose to her noticeable full height and began to look for another table
* * *
At another table, about two minutes earlier, a quartet of girls were sitting, snacking, and socializing. Said foursome appeared seeming assembled for a pro-diversity public service announcement. One was a natural blond, another was African-American, the third was northwest Asian, and the last of the four seemed to be Middle-Eastern, or at least having a very good tan. Three were listening to the latest social news from the blond.
"...said to him that she'll understand if you're g-"
"Hey, retard!"
"Oh, not them again!" complained the tan girl as she and her friends looked toward a table in the corner. No one else paid the situation much mind, the cafeteria being noisy. "Who are they har- The new girl?! Oh that's low."
"That's normal for them," commented the blond girl. "Hey, Bunny Boo, isn't that the girl you said was using steroids?"
"Why does everybody keep bringing that up?" asked the black girl exasperatedly. "She's a teen that looks like a Bendflex model! What am I supposed to think?"
"That she eats right and exercises a lot?" offered the tan girl.
"From a teen? As if."
"Well you said she didn't look man-feced and pimply."
"And I said she could've had surgery."
"Guys! There's a person being bullied here," interrupted the blond girl, mildly angered. "We can figure out what she does or doesn't do after we help her!"
"Sorry, Angel, you're right," apologized the black girl.
"Yeah," the tan girl continued, "she seems pretty smart as well."
"Yeah, totally," the Asian girl interjected. "I mean, just the other day in chemistry she-"
"Guys! Are you listening?" the blond girl snapped. "There's a person being Twevilized that needs our help right now! I'm going over there," the blond girl said while standing up, "you can either follow me or just si-"
"Whoa, hold up there, Angel," the black girl said, seating her friend down, "I think this girl can hold her own. Look," she said pointing out the corner table, "she's had, what, a minute with the Twevils, while still keeping her cool?"
The other three looked at the corner table and saw the logic in the argument. They couldn't hear what was happening through the ambient cafeteria noise, but they saw enough to be amazed.
"Holy sh- did she, did she actually get them to be quiet, twice?" asked the asian girl.
The girls continued to watch, hoping to know more of what was going on. Their concentration was intent enough that they were startled by-
"SO, LIKE, HEY EVERYONE! THIS GIRL HERE IS, LIKE, SO RETARDED!"
The four girls were speechless, not quite knowing the right exclamation. The rest of the dining students likely felt likewise, now noticing the goings on at the corner table.
"YEAH! AND SHE'S LIKE REALLY RETARDED SHE, LIKE, COULDN'T SOLVE THIS, LIKE, MATH PROBLEM AND, LIKE-"
"Like she's had enough," the tan girl muttered, regarding the brunette packing her things at the distant table.
A slight pause. "THERE WAS THIS MATH PROBLEM, IT WAS, LIKE, UH...ONE MILLION AND-" A longer pause. The ambient noise sounded disapproving. "LIKE ONE MILLION AND SEVENTY-FOURTY." There was a half second pause before the patrons expressed their disapproval both verbally and with many pieces of crumpled paper. Most of the paper was actually dry. The four girls briefly burst into laughter, expressing approval of the overall situation. They calmed down upon noticing the apparently rather tall schoolmate looking for someplace to eat.
"Oh, where's she going to go now?" the blond girl worried.
"With the best!" her darkest companion exclaimed. "Yo, girlfriend! Over here!" The tall young woman took notice and walked toward the group's table. "Have a seat over here, girl! Whatever you did was totally way cool!"
"Yeah, you were totally slammin' the way you handled those Twevils!" the Asian girl complemented as their guest sat down.
"Thank you. Who were they?" the guest asked.
"They're the Twevils, 'cause they're twins and totally evil!"
"Their names?"
"The one with the nose job is Kaycee, the other one's Kirstee," the tan girl answered.
"Hey, we should tell her who we are," insisted the blond girl.
"Yeah, you're right. We're the Bratz! The girls with the passion for fashion!"
"My thanks that this is one of the few times I forget to be observant, I thought I recognized you from somewhere.
"You know us?!" the Asian girl enthused.
"I've seen a magazine with the word "Bratz" captioned on it around here, and some girls posing on the cover."
"That's us!"
"Enough about us, tell us about yourself!" the blond girl cut in. "What's your name?"
"You never told me yours," the guest replied.
"Oh. Well...I'm Angel," the blond girl introduced herself, "and this is Kool Kat, Pretty Princess, and Bunny Boo," coincindentially introducing them from lightest to darkest.
"I'm...Janet Princeton Höltzer. My full name's a mouthful, so I just go by "Janet"."
"Chloe, I think she means our real names," the tan girl noted.
"Oh, sorry. I'm Chloe, and this is Jade, Yasmin, and Sasha," the blond girl introduced, keeping the same order as before.
There was a short pause of several seconds that was quickly becoming a long and confused one. "So...tell us about yourself?", inquired Chloe.
"Anything specific?", replied Janet. She didn't have to even wait a second.
"What kind of bands and music do you like?", quickly asked Sasha.
"What kind of boys do you like?", asked Jade just as fast.
"Where are you from? What's your family like?", Chloe asked as quickly.
"What are your hobbies?", asked Yasmin no slower than the others.
Janet showed the barest hint of shock in her face. "Is it okay if I answer in sequence?"
"I don't see why not," said Sasha.
"No fair! You always barge in first!", Jade complained.
"I so do not!"
"Answering the first question given," Janet interrupted, "I wouldn't know one band from another apart from the elastic one I tie my hair back with, they all fade in and out so fast."
"Say what?", Jade exclaimed. "Yaz, is she saying Boyz B Boyz are gonna break up?"
"Jade, don't interrupt."
"To answer that question, I've heard of them only just now. To answer the question about music...I've always been at a loss to describe it-"
"Is it like hip-hop?", asked Sasha.
"Industrial?", asked Jade.
"New-age?", asked Yasmin.
Janet stared at them for two moments. "Now I'm quite confused, that doesn't happen often. Perhaps I could try to describe what I like?"
"Oh, sure. No problem. Sorry about interrupting you there," replied Yasmin.
"No problem, likewise." Janet paused in thought for another two seconds before answering. "Imagine a steam pipe given a flowing rhythm and rendered through a sound mixer. That's not all of it, but it's a start."
It was the Bratz who stared this time, hiding their thoughts not at all. "Okay, now we're confused," said Jade.
"I'll give you a listen to it sometime. Moving on to the boys-"
"Yeah!", Jade shot out.
"-I prefer my boys...feminine, for lack of a better term."
"So you like girls?", replied Chloe. "I just want you to know that we're totally okay with that."
"No...", corrected Janet, "I prefer boys that aren't so masculine, for the most part. You can say I'm into boys that are more pretty than...well, what the typical guy is like." The Bratz stared back again, as if being told that scooping in ice cream helps computers function. "You're looking at me funny now."
"Hey, I have no problem," Jade said, "I can totally relate."
"That's 'cause you're into anime and all that," said Yasmin.
"You're one to talk, what with all the fanfiction you write," rejoined Jade.
"Moving along to Chloe's questions," Janet cut in, hoping to prevent another argument, "I've pretty much spent my whole life in the big county southish of here, moving from one special-ed school to another."
"You don't look special-ed," said Chloe, "um, no offense."
"None taken. I got shoved into that part of the system due to my ADD diagnosis-"
"How horrible!" Chloe exclaimed.
"Well, you're certainly the calmest ADD kid I've ever seen," Sasha said.
"Sasha!"
"Don't worry about it, her surprise makes perfect sense. I was always ahead in my schoolwork, being the kind of person that just wants to get things done that I am. It helped that I never told the teachers how far ahead I was," she said with a slight smile. "I guess you can say that slumming's a weakness of mine, much to my parents' concern. Speaking of whom," Janet anticipated, "My father's a biologist and my mother's a physicist. I know I'm using broad terms for fields with multiple specializations but my parents are polymaths. They're university professors is what they do with their broad knowledge."
The Bratz blinked a bit. "Cool," was all Yasmin had to say.
"Perfect timing, I was just going to answer your question," Janet said.
"Aw..." moaned Chloe"
"Hm?"
"But you didn't tell us what they were like."
"Like?"
"You know, personalities and stuff."
"Ah, that, the human element. Sorry, I'll get into that detail later. Now, hobbies," Janet paused for a moment to orginize her answer. "I never know where to start," she muttered.
"Working out?" suggested Sasha?
"So you've noticed. As good a place to start as any. I suppose it comes from my mild obsession with personal perfection. It also calms me down after waking up and helps bring order to my life. I think I started doing it at random times to relieve str-"
"Classes will resume in 10 minutes, please get ready for the next period," announced the school PA.
"Damnit, not now..." complained Yasmin.
"But we have ten minutes," commented Janet.
"I don't know about you, girl, but we need that time to pack up, get to class, and make sure our good looks are in order," Sasha said.
"Okay..." Janet replied weakly, not seeming to underderstand the importance of makeup. "So when can we continue our conversation?" she asked.
After the Bratz stoped to think a bit, Jade spoke up. "I know! Slumber party at Chloe's!"
"Yeah! Slammin'! Good idea!"
"That was quick," Janet commented.
"Uh, you don't mind, do you?" asked Chloe.
"No, trust me, no. I am curious about this socialization everyone's so keen on."
"Great! Then it's a date!" enthused Jade, "Com'on guys, stylin's a waitin'!"
"Bye! See ya! See ya later! Be cool!" With those parting words the Bratz promptly left for their urgent business together in the girl's bathroom.
Janet packed away her things a second time, and promptly walked off to follow the Bratz.
* * *
It was a bright and clear night, the ideal of suburban tranquility. Almost everything around the house was appropriate for a promotional image: the Art Deco-esque decor, the large and healthy front yard, the tree that would be iconic were not for a lack of a treehouse, and the general cleanliness of the surroundings in general. Only a tall woman in a dark robe toting a large pack, briskly walking to the front door, contrasted with the overall image.
Janet rang the doorbell, checked her watch, and waited while watching the nearby tree. A young woman with black hair, a tiny silvery-white nightdress, and matching platform heels soon answered the door.
"Um, Janet, hi," Jade greeted. She was looking at Janet's ensemble, stylish steel-reinforced boots and a dark purple housecoat -- or bathrobe -- from what she could see, very obviously.
"Was I supposed to be fashionably late?" asked Janet.
"Huh? Uh, no. But...why're you wearing your jammies out here?"
"I didn't want to put on my normal clothes only to take them off later. They really were no trouble to walk here in."
"You walked here wearing that?"
"Yes, I wanted to take in the new scenery. It was a nice half-hour walk."
"You were out there for half an hour?!"
"That's apparently how long it takes for me to walk a quarter less than two miles." Janet's face revealed no irony.
"Two miles?! You walked here two miles?" Jade's face revealed more than her outfit.
"No, 1.75. It pleases me that you are impressed. May I come in? I think you may be getting cold by an open door, wearing a baby-doll and high heels," Janet said plainly.
Jade silently stepped aside and let Janet walk in, sniffing the air as she walked a bit past the threshold. Jade noticed that Janet was also wearing a large backpack.
"I'm not overdressed, am I?" Janet asked.
"Wha-" stumbled Jade, "Um, mm, no, no, not at all."
"Oh, good," Janet said. She paused to briefly examine Jade's nightgown. "Oh, I hope I'm not rude for asking this, but exactly how casual is this slumber party?" she asked.
"Hm? Oh, don't worry, we're totally way cool with being casual with each other," Jade replied.
"How casual?"
"Huh?"
"You're wearing a baby-doll, and high heels," repeated Janet matter-of-factly.
It was a few moments before Jade expressed shock. "Janet! Were not like that!" she blurted out.
"And neither am I," Janet replied. "Glad to know I won't have to think myself out of another awkward situation. So, where is everyone?" she said conversationally.
"Up the stairs, to your right. Can't miss 'em," Jade said plainly, still in a bit of shock.
"Thanks," Janet said, walking briskly to the staircase.
Jade stared at Janet before pinching herself, wincing as she did so. "Nope, not in my bed."
* * *
Seconds later, Janet was at the door to Chloe's bedroom. Chloe, noticing the new arrival, immediately got up to greet her.
"Janet! Hey, how are you?" Chloe gushed.
"Easygoing as usual. This is your house, right?" Janet asked evenly.
"Yeah..."
"Could you come out here for a moment? I'd like to clear something by you."
"Um, sure." Chloe followed Janet to to a spot aside from her bedroom door. "So, whaddaya want?"
"The twins I met earlier today are in the tree by your bedrom window, with spy equipment," Janet calmly pointed out.
"AGAIN?!"
Janet almost showed an emotion. "Interesting. Anyway," Janet continued on the original topic, "do want me to spray them or would you rather do it?"
"Spray? Like pest control?" asked Chloe. "I wish." she concluded bitterly.
"That can be granted easily," obliged Janet as she reached into her left sleave and gave Chloe a spray can.
Chloe looked at the can, not sure what to make of it. "Bear repellant?"
"A gift," Janet answered. "Works great on humans," she said with a slight but noticible smile. "I'll clean up if they vomit, though," she concluded diplomatically.
Chloe walked back into her room, staring intently at her present. "Wish I had this when we were in the woods those times..." she muttered to herself.
Janet blinked, still and speechless for a moment. "Somebody's happy," she said to herself as she leisurely walked into the bedroom.
* * *
Camouflaged as can be expected in hot pink sweat suits were two blond teens peering through binoculars into a window. One was also pointing a parabolic dish at the window. Likewise, they were as quiet and disciplined as can be expected.
"Like, what're they saying?" asked Kaycee.
"Shut up, dipwad!" snapped Kirstee. "Quit asking me tha-"
"Hey isn't that, like, that retard that embar-"
"Shut up!" Kirstee repeated yet again. "What's she doing here?" she said to herself.
"Like, I dunno."
"I said, shut up! I wasn't, like, asking you your opinion."
"Well who were you asking?"
"No one!"
"Then why were you asking in th-"
"Shut up!"
A window suddenly slammed open. "HEY! TWEEVES! YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I MACE YOU GOOD!" demanded an irate Chloe.
"Like, what the hell is this?" demanded Kirstee, annoyed with her spying being interrupted so.
"I should be asking you that!" Chloe retorted "Leave us the hell alone and get the hell out, now! 10..."
"Is she going to like, spray us?" asked Kaycee worriedly.
"7..."
"Like, as if," answered Kirstee. "She doesn't have the guts."
"4..."
Seeing that Chloe was still counting, Kaycee scrambled down the tree. "I don't wanna get mace up my nose!" she cried out, running off in panic.
"Get back here, dipwad!" ordered Kirstee as she climbed down and chased after her sister.
"But she'll ruin my nose job!" Kaycee whined as she ran off.
The bickering faded into ambiance as Chloe shut her window.
* * *
"Wow, Angel, are you okay?" asked Sasha.
"Yeah, that was kinda...out of character," Yasmin pointed out.
"Yeah guys," Chloe replied, "I just needed to get that out of my system...and get them out of our hair."
"Where'd you get that mace?" asked Yasmin.
"Let me guess, Janet gave it to you," Jade said as she walked into the bedroom.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" asked Chloe.
"Oh, I just found out she's full of surprises. Hey, Janet, tell us all how you got here."
"I walked," said Janet.
"All the way from her house with that heavy pack!" Jade added.
"How f-" began Yasmin.
"1.75 miles," Janet answered. "That's an est-"
"You were out all night getting here?!" Chloe cut in.
"She says it only took half an hour," Jade answered evenly.
"You didn't have to rush here with that heavy...thing!" Chloe told Janet with concern. "Why didn't you get your parents to drive you?"
"They're busy tonight," Janet said.
"You could've called one of us," Sasha suggested.
"I only asked for what time to meet you here. I neglected asking for phone numbers since we were all in a hurry."
"What were you rushing for?"
"I wanted to get a seat near the teacher."
"Jan," Jade said, "I like chemistry -- even if DelRio's a bore -- but really, you gotta relax, and you can start by getting into something more comfortable. Aren't you hot?"
"Literally, as well. Are you sure you're not trying to seduce me?"
"No- I mean yes!"
"Humor, Jade," Janet answered with a slight smile. "I go by Janet, by the way. Would it be all right if I changed here?" asked Janet as she knelt down to untie her boots. "I'm not hiding anything indecent and I really am feeling a bit overheated."
"Hey, nothing we haven't seen in the locker room," Sasha nonchalantly said.
Janet smiled at that. After finishing with her boots, she shrugged off her pack.
*thump*
Janet next flipped off her robe, revealing toned arms. With the right arm she tucked her hand down her collar and whipped her shirt off all in a moment, showing off a muscular torso covered only by a sports bra. She finished her stripping by deftly peeling off her pajama pants while rolling on her back, exposing black briefs and curved, sinuous legs. She rolled back up into a kneel, still smiling.
Yasmin broke the brief shock and awe by quickly walking behind Janet and checking her back. "See, no backne! She's clean!" she pointed said to Sasha.
"'Kay, you were right, she is just a health nut!" Sasha relented. Girl," Sasha addressed Janet, "you like messin' with people's heads, don't you?"
"Playing with minds is fun and educational," said janet in a pleased tone. "I was going to continue with my other hobbies, I believe?"
"Yea- Oh wow, thanks!" said Yasmin. "So, tell us the things you like or like doing," she queried.
"In addition to this day's show and tell," Janet began, "I list among my interests documentaries-"
"Wow, cool! Me too!" blurted Yasmin.
"-news radio, statistical analysis and rendering, future bioengineering, alternate physics, interdisciplinary research, the natural sciences in general, library science in general, computer games, computer art via abstract mathematics, applied psychology, martial arts, and leisurely walks at night," finished Janet in one easy breath.
The Bratz were again bemused, then Chloe broke the silence. "What do you like doing with friends?"
"What friends?" asked Janet, again with no irony.
"Well...we're your friends now!" said Chloe. "What'd you like do with us?" she asked simply.
"I'm enjoying answering questions," answered Janet simply.
"Okay, tell us about your family, what they're like as people."
"Sure. I'll start with my mother, she's quite the character..."
* * *
"...and mentorship grew into love," Janet concluded. "What?"
"At 16?" asked Sasha with some disgust.
"So? She waited until he was 18 before consummating said love," Janet reasoned.
"T.M.I.!" Sasha exclaimed.
That reminds me," mused Jade, "what'd you mean about someone putting the moves on you during a sleepover before?"
"Exactly that; let me tell you the specifics about her..."
Janet continued smoothly in spite of the raised eyebrows.
* * *
"...I hope you won't think less of me."
"Janet, why'd you think we'd be like that?" inquired Jade.
"I didn't reciprocate her genuine love mainly because of her body."
"So? I don't mean to be cold but she just plain wasn't your kind of kink. Most people would've plain told her to fuck off for having her head up her shoujo fantasy-"
"Yeah, you're one to talk," Sasha playfully sniped.
"Oh, up yours," Jade calmly said.
"No, up yours," Sasha said back.
"Speaking of what's up with yours," Janet quickly interrupted, "I'm curious about this being a repeat visit from the twee twins, Chloe."
"Well, you see," Chloe began, "the Twevils snuck into my house one evening while we were playing Truth or Dare..."
Janet's face scrunched a bit in bewilderment.
* * *
"So not only did you wear a miniskirt and spike-heeled boots while rock climbing, you actually remember precisely what you wore?" Janet asked, less than evenly.
"Well, yeah; you can't have a passion for fashion without a good memory for it. Besides, you have'ta look good for the guys."
"I thought it was just you and Kaycee?"
"It's the principle of the thing. Speaking of guys, why don'tcha tell us more about you and guys?"
"Yeah, spill, girlfriend!"
"What specific details interest you?"
"Umm...tell us about your dream date."
"Gladly," Janet began with a growing smirk.
* * *
"Do not want! Do not want!" Yasmin exclaimed while covering her ears.
"Yeah, I think I heard enough," Chloe said quickly.
"More than enough," Sasha added.
"Fine," Janet relented. "I'll have to hear about your dream dates sometime."
"Sure, I'll be thinking of mine just to keep from having nightmares about yours."
"Hey, what time is it?" asked Jade.
"Ten-thrity-six and fourty-seven seconds," answered Janet.
"Not anymore," Yasmin quipped. "But, yeah, I'm getting too sleepy to talk or think right now. We should all get out beauty rest." Everyone else nodded and murmured in assent.
"Now that I won't be interrupting anything, may I make a request?" Janet asked.
"Uh, sure. What is it?"
"May I work for you?"
Yasmin perked up considerably. "Say what?"
"I'd like to help build a burgeoning fashion magazine. What positions are available?"
"Um...well..."
"All right, why don't you want to hire me?"
"It's not that, it's...just...surprising given your interests."
"Creation and destruction intrigue me, and I like doing a variety of activities. If nothing else, it'll give me some practice with office work for when I get into corporate espionage."
"I don't know whatch're gettin' at with destruction-" Sasha started.
"Change, societal apoptosis, out with the old-" Janet started to list.
"Okay, I do see whatch're gettin' at, but office work?"
"Yes."
"Why would you want that?"
"Machinery fascinates me. I can even tell you why you'd want me in the office. Am I correct in assuming that a passion for fashion doesn't extend to accounts payable? How about supply chains? User statistics? Search engine op-"
"Woah! You're accepted," Chloe halted, "no need for the hard sell."
"And I was just getting into my monologue, too. Just as well since I really need my sleep."
"Shouldn't we, ya'know, vote on it first?" Sasha asked.
"Bunny Boo's right, we do everything as a team," Chloe insisted. "All in favor of having Janet as a member of Bratz Magazine?" The Bratz all raised their hands.
"Bunny Boo, I thought you'd vote against."
"Hey, I know talent when I see it!" Sasha replied. Janet smiled.
"Aww, look, you made Janet feel all warm and fuzzy!" Chloe said affectionately. Janet's face was blank again. The other Bratz couldn't help but giggle at that.
"All right, it's settled," said Yasmin, "Janet is now one of us. Now let's look forward to the future of Bratz Magazine!"
"For friendship!" exclaimed Chloe.
"For fashion!" exclaimed Jade.
"For profit." concluded Janet. "What?"
The Bratz broke into laughter as if it were the end of an episode.
The End.