I Was Just Gang Raped By Five Guys.

[drumtroll]

So Vancouver just got a Five Guys restaurant.  Jane and I went in there a couple months ago, saw the prices ($8 for a single burger, $5 for a small fries), then promptly turned around and walked right back out.  Then one of Jane's friends raved about their burgers being worth every penny.  And of course President Obama likes them, so it must be

Comments

[bloodtree]

I think it's pretty telling that an American chain from the southeastern states completely skipped the entire west BECAUSE THOSE STATES HAVE BETTER THINGS, like In N' Out, Carl's Jr., Nations, hell, even Jack in the Box.

"Hey, let's get in and scoop up Vancouver before they realize what GOOD actually tastes like! C'mon everyone, be dazzled by the America you've been missing!" No. Give us Jack in the Box back, we're over the e.coli deaths.

[cho_cho_san]

That burger does not look impressive at all. Mental.

[jadedvioletruin]

Houston got a Five Guys a few months before I left for Chicago, but I never went. Apparently, they are all the rage here and I finally went a couple of months back. Thankfully I didn't pay for it. My friend who owed me a favor did. My burger wasn't as soggy as yours but I was definitely just as disappointed because as she was eating it she was talking about how good it was. I should also point out that she is Canadian.

[drumtroll]

Oh man. It's like The Emperor's New Clothes. They put up these quotes of all of their great newspaper reviews all over their walls (the best money can buy), then they charge way too much for them to build the hype - the result is all of these robotic sheep who have been eating McDonald's all of their lives freak out like elves just crapped magic into their mouths and it's the best thing they've ever tasted. (I guess, to be fair, maybe it *is* the best thing they've ever tasted up to that point.)

[bloodtree]

Oi oi oi, hold up with the Canadian thing a second... oh who I am kidding. For a second I was hoping she was from Nunavut and had only tasted raw seal meat. Five Guys may or may not have been an improvement. She was only tasting the hype though; the kids go apeshit for anything American we get here without caring how good it actually is. ("We're getting a Bath & Body Works?!!") (Oh. That quote was from me. Damn.)

For the record, though, if hospitals served burgers in the recovery ward, they'd be better than Five Guys. I've been searching my brain for a time I ate a more tasteless, disgusting burger. The only thing I can come up with is one of those frozen meat patties that comes in an unmarked box of 120 from some bulk meat warehouse and cooked up at a tee-ball game. And even then, I think my personal dressing of the burger took it to a higher level than Five Guys.

Worst. Burger. Ever. Really, I want to know their technique in sucking ALL of the flavour out of every component of that burger. My current guess is the magical

[drumtroll]

I can't remember... didn't we have a worse burger at the KMC bowling alley? Or maybe that was just me. At any rate I know I didn't pay $8 for it.

[drumtroll]

I just realized that at the bottom of pic #3 I missed a totally golden opportunity to throw in an Obama reference by making the caption read "Taking it on the faith of my fathers..."

Damn.