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Dreams of Gma
There's a recurring theme in some of my dreams where my gma is alive again. Sometimes she's at her house, other times she's somewhere else. (Last night, for example, she was sitting outside a clothing boutique that sold weird and fabulously elaborate, brightly-colored dresses.) 9 times out of 10, she doesn't know that she's actually dead. 10 times ( Read more... ) -
Remember Aurora
I hate being powerless. When there's sorrow and tragedy in the world, I usually can't handle it. Someone else's pain becomes my own. I avoid certain kinds of news stories - especially international affairs where the traumas are really too far away for me to help - and try to donate what little money I have to important causes and organizations (Red ( Read more... ) -
brain
I had a friend who once accused me of using my bipolar disorder as an excuse to act anyway I wanted. She said that I never tried to see things from HER perspective, that of someone trying to "deal with" me when I was in "one of [my] moods." Oh, how hard life must have been for her, trying to be my friend over the phone, online, and in person every ( Read more... ) -
Tweets During a Break Down
October 23, 9:27pm: Watched Reign Over Me on Netflix. Had the dvd for 1 month+. Sobbed during the movie. Sobbed on my front porch for 20 mins after.
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So I don't lose the entry if I lose the journal
May Day and no one to love ( Read more... ) -
Gma tattoo
The five-year anniversary of Gma's death is coming up at the end of April. I've been thinking about that fact since probably November, back when April seemed so far away. But now the only thing separating me from April is one page on my desk calendar at work, so I'm thinking about the anniversary more lately ( Read more... ) -
just fyi
i am way too fucking poor. i need to find things to cut down NOW. my $23/month gym membership is a good place to start. Therapy will be cut down to once a month, and hopefully I won't have to go to the residency clinic and be on meds for too long. (I'm debating canceling my appointment and saying "to hell with it" to the psychiatry. Winter won't be ( Read more... ) -
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE WOLF CRY TO THE BLUE CORN MOOON?
OMG YOU GUYS PANDORA IS REAL AND I AM GOING TO LIVE THERE SOME DAY AND BE ONE WITH THE BLUE-TAILED PEOPLE AND FLY ON DRAGON-THINGS AND FUCKIN CONNECT WITH TREES AND MY ANCESTORS AND MOTHER EARTH ( Read more... ) -
Correct Path
So the other night at rehearsal, we had to break into pairs to perform our monologues with one another and offer feedback. (Karen, the director, wants to see what we'll be bringing to the table before she offers her vision and direction. Plus, she had a work emergency she had to deal with.) I was paired with Marilee, a nice 20-something who had a ( Read more... )