House/Wonderfalls: Steal IT
For melodyunity's very belated request-fic. This isn't quite what this crossover deserves, but it was the only thing that wanted to be written. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Steal It
"Steal the cane."
Jaye pointedly ignored the painted yellow duck. She was in Jersey to help Erik settle things, not to help other people. The wax lion, the bronze monkey... she explicitely told them she was taking a vacation, repeatedly. She even reminded the lion about the time she melted him. So she ignored the bright yellow duck painted on the 'Don't Feed The Ducks' sign by the pond, and didn't even look around to see what cane it was talking about.
"Steal the cane!" The ducks squawked again, ruffling its wings when she glanced its way. While the action made living ducks look bigger (and theoretically more intimidating), it just made the sign look like the artist wasn't quite sober while painting.
"No... I told you before, V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!" she hissed, clinging to Erik's arm.
"You want to steal the cane." The duck recommended.
Jaye stopped in the middle of the path, no longer paying attention to what Erik was saying. 'Find the stupid cane and they'll leave me alone... hopefully.' She looked around, ignoring the joggers and the kids in the park area since they were unlikely to have a cane. There weren't many people in the park, so it only took her a moment to spot the cane with little flames crawling up the shaft. It was resting on the picnic table beside its owner's feet, a scruffy-looking man with short hair and sharp blue eyes.
"I'll be right back, I need to go steal something." Jaye informed her companion before walking over to the picnic table.
The man with the cane was looking the other way as she approached, tracking another man's progress towards the hot-dog stand. Jaye made a quick grab for the cane and was about to run away with it when the man caught the plastic endcap. He yanked back sharply, forcing her to take a surprised step forward. "Thinking you could sneak up on me makes you an idiot, trying to steal from a cripple makes you pathetic."
"This isn't about you, at least it might not be. Ask the duck." Jaye suggested, using her advantage of being upright to yank the cane out of the man's hands.
He swore and swung his legs around to follow her, gingerly putting weight on his left leg. "You speak quack?"
"Throw it in the lake!" The duck squawked urgently.
Jaye did so without thinking.
"What is wrong with you!" The man demanded. Then he looked over his shoulder as something occured to him. "Wilson!"
"Yeah?" The man's friend bellowed back, the one he had been watching earlier. He started to walk back to the picnic table, looking at Jaye curiously. "Who is she House? And where's your cane?"
"Give me your cellphone."
Up went an eyebrow. "Why? Did you want to call a hooker?"
"No, that's why I have you. I know what she has."
"Who?"
"My patient... Duh... Now cellphone."
Jaye took this as her cue to get out of sight.
Steal It
"Steal the cane."
Jaye pointedly ignored the painted yellow duck. She was in Jersey to help Erik settle things, not to help other people. The wax lion, the bronze monkey... she explicitely told them she was taking a vacation, repeatedly. She even reminded the lion about the time she melted him. So she ignored the bright yellow duck painted on the 'Don't Feed The Ducks' sign by the pond, and didn't even look around to see what cane it was talking about.
"Steal the cane!" The ducks squawked again, ruffling its wings when she glanced its way. While the action made living ducks look bigger (and theoretically more intimidating), it just made the sign look like the artist wasn't quite sober while painting.
"No... I told you before, V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!" she hissed, clinging to Erik's arm.
"You want to steal the cane." The duck recommended.
Jaye stopped in the middle of the path, no longer paying attention to what Erik was saying. 'Find the stupid cane and they'll leave me alone... hopefully.' She looked around, ignoring the joggers and the kids in the park area since they were unlikely to have a cane. There weren't many people in the park, so it only took her a moment to spot the cane with little flames crawling up the shaft. It was resting on the picnic table beside its owner's feet, a scruffy-looking man with short hair and sharp blue eyes.
"I'll be right back, I need to go steal something." Jaye informed her companion before walking over to the picnic table.
The man with the cane was looking the other way as she approached, tracking another man's progress towards the hot-dog stand. Jaye made a quick grab for the cane and was about to run away with it when the man caught the plastic endcap. He yanked back sharply, forcing her to take a surprised step forward. "Thinking you could sneak up on me makes you an idiot, trying to steal from a cripple makes you pathetic."
"This isn't about you, at least it might not be. Ask the duck." Jaye suggested, using her advantage of being upright to yank the cane out of the man's hands.
He swore and swung his legs around to follow her, gingerly putting weight on his left leg. "You speak quack?"
"Throw it in the lake!" The duck squawked urgently.
Jaye did so without thinking.
"What is wrong with you!" The man demanded. Then he looked over his shoulder as something occured to him. "Wilson!"
"Yeah?" The man's friend bellowed back, the one he had been watching earlier. He started to walk back to the picnic table, looking at Jaye curiously. "Who is she House? And where's your cane?"
"Give me your cellphone."
Up went an eyebrow. "Why? Did you want to call a hooker?"
"No, that's why I have you. I know what she has."
"Who?"
"My patient... Duh... Now cellphone."
Jaye took this as her cue to get out of sight.