afraid.

it seems today, i forgot.
finally.

up and down. up and down. i have these playlists with great music, fantastic music infact.  but for some reason its all the same mood, no matter what kind of day i am having it all leads back to.  sometimes i forget, and its great.  then other times i dont want to forget cause i have HOPE.  but i have or am in the process of giving up.  you have to ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Hi there computer keypad.
How you feelin'?
Do you like get pounded every hour?
People just use you for their own pleasure?
Something poetic, seems we only can write that way when feeling low.
We turn our computer on, type in... www.livejournal.com, write the story of our depression that day.
Share all our feelings with strangers, allow people into our ( Read more... )

i guess we make them to break them?
I am open, like a new bood you are ready to read! hah
but im not so open anymore, i am upset.
i guess it doesnt matter...life.
and everything that comes with it.
i guess we make them to break them.

well someday i will learn not to spend so much money.
but sales really grab you in and say buy me buy me!
so you say yes.
but that is it, no more.
i dont need anything else.
i need to make a budget.
so much stuff to do, but of course it costs money.
money, money, money.
such a fuckn problem in life.
its what we worry about.
i dont want to.
lottery winner?!
oh ( Read more... )

it has to end to begin.
i was broken to many times and wanted to feel whole again.
i fell in the trap of being a girl.
and it had to happen twice at the same time.
i will not hurt again.
hurt you again.
I am sorry that i did that to you.
now i know that i need you, want you, have to have you with me.
i dont want to be talked about.
god get a fucking habit ( Read more... )

Your awesome, seriously awesome. you are one of the most real, sweet, kind greatest people i know.  im glad weve been friends for so long now and i hope we can be for a lot longer. haha. maybe it wasnt meant to be.  well we had awesome times this year. i will see you. dont change. love you.

I thought it was fun while it lasted.
Sometimes you have to cut yourself off though.
And right now, I am through.
I made a fool out of myself.
And the funny thing is, I was just standing there.
Hum, its not me.
So I am finished.
This was it.
But its so hard to say that and actually follow through with it.
I will though, I have self control.