apathy is a four letter word ( Read more... )

i just took 8 pills. he asked me how many i take now, i lied. i left out the calm me down pills i cant bear to be without. 8 pills. i take them two at a time now, i've choked too many times ( Read more... )

a. said i make him smile ( Read more... )

i think this is why i think i shouldnt have a boyfriend yet. im oversensitive and i am thinking way too much. i cant even imagine what it would be like to meet someone, and i dont know, i imagine like we would have a lot to say to each other, but i cant imagine, like the whole trying to appear sane, and censoring my screwyness. i guess i just ( Read more... )

i want to be an artist - why can't what i do be beautiful? the whole coolntrendy vibe really intimidates me. specifically this 'alternative' culture in pta, they are not the same, and yet they are all the same. in joburg the girls want to look like whores, but here, the girls want to look alternative, which results in them all looking the same ( Read more... )

i feel incredibly lonely. i feel thoughtful, floaty and such ( Read more... )

i have like a million memories i refuse to remember, i mean hell this laptop is a memory, broken now again. today i was sick, another fabulous excuse to sit around, read a book, do nothing, selfpity in action. i am jealous of everyone. i hate them also. i said no to go to a friend this weekend cos i thoughti should work. its more complicated ( Read more... )

im tired and i feel like crying, so much so that i totally forgot about the noises i heard upstairs. people going to attack me. i wish i had never heard that schitzophrenia could be brought on by stress ( Read more... )

all i want to do is sit and eat and do nothing ( Read more... )

tomorrows my birthday, hoo fucking ra ( Read more... )