(no subject)
i think this is why i think i shouldnt have a boyfriend yet. im oversensitive and i am thinking way too much. i cant even imagine what it would be like to meet someone, and i dont know, i imagine like we would have a lot to say to each other, but i cant imagine, like the whole trying to appear sane, and censoring my screwyness. i guess i just cant imagine meeting someone who could possibly like me, and deal with my shit. i think im losing hope at the tender age of 22.
im trying to write as much as i possibly can, to try and feel better. i just feel totally shit. so down, and i suppose it has to do with the fact that my period is due sometime soon. i still hate the idea that i am controlled by hormones, i feel like my emotions arent real. but hey, the advantage always of this rollercoaster is there are always ups again.
'i look at you and smile because i'm fine'
there was a boy, who said he loved me, he said i appealed to him because i seemed broken. and that was five years ago, so so much more shit has happened to me since then.
i struggle with the concept that im never gona see my father again. im fucking hacked off with the 'man of god' who came to see him, after which he gave up. he died. it was like night and day. im fucking hacked off, because the only way i can beleive that im going to see him again is by subscribing to some sort of religion. but the whole religion thing doesnt really gel for me. i dont understand it. i dont get it.
does everything happen for a reason?
please, if anyone reads this please please tell me what you think?
im trying to write as much as i possibly can, to try and feel better. i just feel totally shit. so down, and i suppose it has to do with the fact that my period is due sometime soon. i still hate the idea that i am controlled by hormones, i feel like my emotions arent real. but hey, the advantage always of this rollercoaster is there are always ups again.
'i look at you and smile because i'm fine'
there was a boy, who said he loved me, he said i appealed to him because i seemed broken. and that was five years ago, so so much more shit has happened to me since then.
i struggle with the concept that im never gona see my father again. im fucking hacked off with the 'man of god' who came to see him, after which he gave up. he died. it was like night and day. im fucking hacked off, because the only way i can beleive that im going to see him again is by subscribing to some sort of religion. but the whole religion thing doesnt really gel for me. i dont understand it. i dont get it.
does everything happen for a reason?
please, if anyone reads this please please tell me what you think?