(no subject)
He has always caught your eye.
That’s not too surprising. His hair is so blindingly bright that there is no way he could ever not stand out in a crowd, not unless he dyed it. And you think that would be a shame as his hair is perhaps his most gorgeous feature. It’s hard for you to decide between that and his eyes. You might pick his eyes of silver-grey if they weren’t always full of, at best, cold disdain for you. The combination of his eyes and hair is enough to set any young witch’s heart aflutter.
It’s really too bad that he’s a complete and total git.
Your mum told you about his type when you were younger. The boy who looks so good up until the moment he opens his mouth and that’s when you realize he’s an arse. Your mum, who has always believed in full disclosure, went on to tell you about a boy she had known back when she was in school who was oh-so-handsome but sat in the back and made fun of everyone else with his friends. There was a hint of sadness in your mum’s eyes when she spoke of him and how she might have fancied him if his behavior had been better. You knew even as she spoke that she was lying-anyone with eyes could that she did fancy the boy. You later learn the reason why she looked so sad that day-the boy had wound up dying before he was thirty.
You hope the git you know doesn’t meet the same fate. It’s not that you fancy him or anything like that. You just wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, no matter how much of a prat that person might be to you. And he is such a prat to you. He’s never spared a kind word for you at all, though you have heard him being sweet and charming to other witches in your year. And you think, like your mother, that it would be so very possible for you to fancy him-if only his behavior was a bit better.
You even convince yourself that unlike your mother you’re not lying.
Then comes the end of your sixth year, and you’re horribly disappointed. An attempted murderer at sixteen-that’s not much better than dead at thirty, if at all. But really you can’t compare anything from your mother’s story with your own life. She never had to fight the battles you have fought; she never had to make the hard decisions that you have made. You don’t know if she would have been able to ship her parents off to a foreign country without any memory of her. Your mum seems too weak to do that. But you pull it off because you’re strong.
She’s absolutely livid once you bring them both back. Neither her nor your dad understand why you did what you did. Whenever the subject is brought up, you ask them time after time to put themselves in your shoes. Your mum swears up and down she would have never done to her parents what you did to them. But then you already knew that. It’s not a startling revelation.
You’re only really startled when a couple years later, you learn the reasons why he did what he did. And you feel a certain kinship with him-both of you ignored what others call morals to do what you had to do to protect your families. And you’re disappointed again but this time in yourself. You knew something was wrong with him back then. You had your suspicions. You should have taken the time and maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe both of your families could have been kept safe without him playing the part of an assassin and without you erasing your parents’ memories. Even now those thoughts bring tears to your eyes, and you wish you had been better.
And so here you are, in your favorite café this winter day, sipping your coffee and reading your newest book and trying not to notice that brilliant head of hair as he waits to be seated. He’s been standing up front for several minutes after coming in out of the snow, but the staff has been too busy or too scared or too something to be bothered with him. Your heart goes out to him as you know how much it hurts to be ignored like that. You consider chiding the staff and letting them know how disappointed you are in them.
That’s when you realize the person who you should be most disappointed in is yourself.
Because you have the power to change this situation. You don’t have to be your mother, who ignored her boy and secretly cried when she learned that he had died. It’s entirely up to you if you want to risk embarrassment and humiliation and invite him to sit with you. It’s your choice if you are going to keep on thinking how good you might be for each other if only things were different-or if you are actually going to try and make things different and find out how good you two could be together.
The only question is if you’re strong enough.
And you are. You always have been. You know that beyond all doubt.
And what’s more you have always believed in doing what’s right and not necessarily what’s easy. That belief propels your arm into the air. You wave at him, beckoning him towards your table, and you greet him as though you’re old friends. You could almost laugh at the way his jaw drops open, before he collects himself and makes his way over. He’s still staring at you as he sits down, and when you look into those silver eyes, you know he’s thinking that you’ve completely lost it and it won’t be a surprise to hear tomorrow that you’ve been committed. But he’s polite and charming and doesn’t say what he’s thinking and instead answers your inquiries about his mother. And when he places his order, he’s still looking at you, actually looking at you as if this were the first time-which maybe it is.
He reminds you later, once he has his drink, that you and he were never friends.
You lift your chin and tell him that this is the season to reach out to others and make amends. And you go on, reminding him that your past doesn’t determine your future, only your decisions do, and you think it’s about time that the both of you grow up. You know that you’ve about convinced him about the infinite future when hours later you exchange addresses. He pays the bill, and you leave together. Before you part, he asks to see you again before the New Year, and you are more than happy to agree. You can’t help but smile, knowing that today you’ve changed your world and made it a better place and what’s more-
Now is the right time to fall in love.
But then, it always is.