27; grabbag + me myself and I; wow my future sucks; return of cefca

[sandinmyboots]

[This is Cefca, aka Kefka's younger self. This is Cefca, in a dark green uniform and corpselike blue make up, sunken in eyes and hollow cheeks and blue lips, waving at the community from a jail cell. He's got a bottle of something clear and unplesant looking and a jar full of ashes.]Helloooo, ducks. I am coming to you live from the, the ruins of

Comments

[loyalbound]

... you're drunk.

[ thank you, captain of the obvious brigade ]

[sandinmyboots]

Wow, I hadn't no-ticed! [He spits out the words like bullets, over-enunciating.] Golly, I had this fermented fruit beverage and now I am in-eb-ri-a-ted! I never saw this coming!

[Someone's cranky tonight.]

[loyalbound]

I'm surprised he left the alcohol in there with you if his intention was to lock you up. [ YUP WE'RE IGNORING YOUR SARCASM ]

[sandinmyboots]

Nah, he figured it'd shut me up. It worked.

[too drunk to give fucks about Kefka winning that round]

[timey_wimey]

Don't you think you've had a bit much of that? Then again, I suppose if you've already drunk that much of it you probably won't think so at this rate, but never mind, it was worth a shot.

Well then. Go on, I guess, tell me about you, since you've probably not got much better to do sitting in a jail cell waiting for the virus to end. I'd offer to get you out, but well, no TARDIS. I won't lie, I'd be interested in hearing what you've got to say about yourself.

[sandinmyboots]

No, no, I know my limits. I get drink, drunk, pretty easily but I can metabolize a lot of it. Magic is weird like that. My body handles toxins and poisons easily but I'm thiiiiis light! I want a refund. Wait, no, I don't. Do I?

Right. What's a TARDIS? You're the guy with the circle words that older me talked to, right? I get some of his memories every time I show up here. He liked that. Do I start on a societal level, or just talk about myself? Do you want the epic life story? (It's really boring except for the parts where people die.) Or should I explain my hideous misbehaving self?

[timey_wimey]

I dunno, suppose it depends if you like being drunk without the downside of eventually getting alcohol poisoning or not.

The TARDIS was my ship. Best ship in the universe, she is, and oh, the times we had... anyway, that's not the point. Yeah, I'm the circle guy, or the Doctor if you'd prefer, that'd do nicely too. Start wherever you want, I suppose, I mean, we've got time...

[sandinmyboots]

Eh, that's nice. But. But I do stupid things when drunk, the inhibitions flitting away on the air and then everything's gone higgledy! But it could be good for a drinking battle...

Hi, Doctor! You'll have to introduce yourself to me again, the other one, later - I can get his memories but he can't get mine. Silly things. Hm. Do you want to learn about magic? Clothing? Social things? No, no, I should tell you about history. You like time and history, so I'll tell you about the world. And you can tell me about your ship.

All ready?

[stripping]

...yes, you're the smartest one here. If I may say so, I don't think you should have more of that.

[sandinmyboots]

I am allowed to be drunk. I have earned this drunk. Drink. I am so smart that I can tell when I am allowed to be drunk or not drunk and this is an allowed time.

[stripping]

If you say so... Is there anything I can do for you?

[sandinmyboots]

Talk to me. I need to talk to someone that's not the chunk of magic guarding this cell. The quiet is getting to me. You'd think that this dead guy could at least speak up, he wouldn't stop yapping when he was alive, but I guess he's too dead for that. Hee hee hee...

[yacantdoitkid]

We know all the things about you, kid.

[sandinmyboots]

Oh! Oh good! It's the guy who can't kill me! Wow, you are so smart! Look at you, not killing me. Wow, you are so good at your job. When we are done bantering, I will give you a free shot so you can get good enough to get rid of the other one. So. So why don't you tell me what you know so we can get this over with. Come on, come on, I go back to my time soon enough.

[yacantdoitkid]

Yeah. We get the point.

Fuck, you're pathetic right now. You get that, right?

[sandinmyboots]

Of course I know that. Why do you think I'm drinking?! Ha!

[madeitsquare]

Can't say this is how I wanted to see you again.

[sandinmyboots]

Oh. Scrooge.

[Cefca's fierce expression fades into dismay.]

It's usually better than this.

[madeitsquare]

What's gonna happen to you now?

[sandinmyboots]

Stick around here until I get sent back to my time, probably. I'm trying to change the course of the plot, but it's tricky.