Witches, walkers, tin men and tyrants
Our weekend had been consumed by the final Transformers story and adventures in both Asgard and the new Super Hero City, but LJ wasn't done. "I've got a confession to make," she said sheepishly. "I kind of love Cyborg, and I have a couple more ideas about him."
Which, I guess, goes to show DC has some idea of what it's doing. We old-timers may turn up our noses at Victor Stone's inclusion in the "New 52" Justice League but, to LJ's generation, he's an essential part of the team. Such is the power of seeing a character from the ground up, I suppose (monkey knows it worked for me with Darkhawk).
Only too happy to oblige my kidlet's new hero-crush, I hunkered down on the floor for some adventuring.
----------
LJ presents:
CYBORG'S BIG DAY
PART ONE: MAGNETIC PERSONALITIES
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
The Mayor was enjoying the peace and quiet of his brand-new City Hall when, in a puff of magical smoke, Dr Strange and Scarlet Witch appeared! "You've got to stop doing that," the Mayor pleaded. "I just can't handle mystical surprises at the moment!" Though he apologised, Dr Strange was more concerned with passing on urgent bad news. "News?" the Mayor asked. "Aren't you both a little old to be doing paper routes?"
Willing himself to remain calm, Dr Strange finally outlined his concern: he had sensed that Magneto was planning a new, evil scheme. The Mayor was unconvinced - everyone knew the villains had unified behind Dr Doom to build a new Villainville, and weren't carrying out individual plans anymore. "My teacher's visions are never wrong," Scarlet Witch countered, "and my father's ambitions won't be restrained by Doom's orders. Please, you must believe us!"
At the Mayor's command, the Super Hero City Police Department went on the alert. They patrolled the streets while the mystics teleported from business to business, warning everyone of the potential danger. Dr Strange cast a spell that was supposed to make Spider-Man appear and help but, instead, the Scarlet Spider materialised in front of them! Ever-mischievous, Ben Reilly took great delight in personally "warning" J Jonah Jameson by webbing him to his chair "so you don't get into trouble". Meanwhile, Commissioner Gordon sent Harvey Bullock to spy on the villains.
Bullock took up a post on the outskirts of Villainville... just in time to get clobbered from behind. He reeled, only to be lifted into the air and turned upside-down. Magneto flicked the detective into a tree with a dismissive wave of his hand, then addressed the hidden figure who'd landed the first blow. "Why have you called me here?" he demanded.
From out the shadows stepped a familiar, malevolent mechanoid. "Greetings, Eric Magnus Lehnsherr," Ultron said. "I am pleased you answered my summons."
"I know of you, creature," Magneto said, raising a hand threateningly, "but I'll admit to being puzzled. Last I heard, the Avengers destroyed you."
"That was Ultron-5," the synthezoid said simply. "I am Ultron-6: the improved, refined model. I shall succeed where my prototype failed... and I shall do so with your assistance. I have crafted a weapon that will eradicate the stain of organic life from the region known as Super Hero City. All it requires for operation is a sufficient magnetic pulse. I want you to generate that pulse."
Magneto frowned. "You presume I would help you? Why?"
"Evolution," Ultron replied. "You, as homo superior, represent the latest evolution of organic life. I am this world's ultimate expression of artificial intelligence. Beings such as us should work in concert to eliminate the primitives that infest this planet so that our species may flourish." He paused. "And would not a resounding victory over the 'heroes' lift your status in the eyes of the villains, thereby allowing you to take leadership from Victor von Doom?"
The master of magnetism agreed and asked to see the machine. Its wide base tapered upward into a towering, feminine statue with energy-blasting eyes. Magneto noticed its similarity to the Wasp, but Ultron-6 ignored him and insisted he stand atop a small control port. "Focus your mutant power downwards to activate the machine," he said. "It will hurt a little, but the end result will be worth it."
Meanwhile, Harvey Bullock had regained consciousness and rushed to Commissioner Gordon. Dr Strange cursed himself for a fool. "It makes sense that Ultron would be involved - he's immune to my mystical senses because he's a machine!" He turned to Wanda. "You must use your hex powers to boost the potency of my teleport spell," he told her. "Concentrate, and increase the odds we will appear precisely where your father is. We must hurry!"
The Scarlet Witch did as she was told and, an instant later, the magical heroes found themselves alongside Ultron-6's machine. Wasting no time, Wanda aimed a pink hex-bolt at the centre of the infernal device and let fly. Unfortunately, that was precisely what the evil synthezoid had wanted. The reality-altering blast scrambled things so that Magneto was stripped of his mutant abilities... all of which were transferred into Ultron-6!
"Thank you," the machine hissed, "for completing my evolutionary cycle. My plan has come to fruition: I am now the most powerful life form on this planet. The eradication of all organic beings - including mutants - begins now."
Magneto slumped over while Ultron-6 bound Scarlet Witch with metal cables. Dr Strange tried to fight back but, as he'd feared, his magic was useless against the synthezoid. As he was pummelled into unconsciousness, the sorcerer supreme willed his astral self to leave his body and fly to Hero Headquarters. He knew only one super-powered champion could save the day now.
Cyborg was performing some routine maintenance when a ghostly voice shouted "Victor!" right in his ear. He yelped, causing the rest of the Justice League to look at him strangely. None of them could hear the voice, which continued to yell and plead urgently. Having checked his audio sensors and found no error, Cyborg sought Dr Thompkins' help.
"If you think it sounds like Dr Strange," she concluded, "did you stop and think maybe it is Dr Strange, communicating by magical means?"
"... aw nuts," Cyborg grimaced.
Having been briefed (and thoroughly told off) by the mystic, Cyborg prepared himself for battle. Not with Ultron-6, mind you, but with Dr Strange's chosen rescue team: Life Force. The girls (especially Ms Marvel) were less than impressed with a boy giving them orders. Victor proved his worth, though, by boosting the SHIELD hover-car for them to use. Wasp allowed him to come along... provided he rode in the back.
Life Force drove the vehicle point-blank at Ultron-6, counting on him to knock it aside with his new powers. That gave them time to flank the synthezoid and blast him, from all sides, with their own abilities. Making good use of the distraction, Cyborg hacked into and reprogrammed Ultron-6's machine. At his command, it drained the stolen magnetic force and returned it to its rightful (and still, thankfully, unconscious) owner.
Sadly, Life Force had already fallen to Ultron-6. Thinking fast, Cyborg used his ability to talk to machines to hack into a nearby billboard. It was advertising women's fashion, so Cyborg ordered its giant, mobile, neon-festooned handbag to swing down and knock Ultron-6 into next week! The unexpected electrical surge overloaded the synthezoid's systems. Weakened, he crumbled to pieces under a sustained assault from Cyborg's white-noise cannon.
"You took him down like a girl," Ms Marvel said, slapping Cyborg on the back. "Nice work!"
"I'll say," agreed Wasp. "I like a man who's not afraid to work in the background to get the job done."
"I didn't just choose him for his technical skills," Dr Strange, now back in his own body, told them. "I knew this mission required a team player."
Scarlet Witch, freed from her bonds, stepped lightly over her sleeping father and shattered kidnapper. She walked up to Cyborg and planted a long, slow kiss on his lips. "Thank you," she said, favouring him with a smouldering smile. Can I interest you in dinner something?"
Cyborg tried - and failed - to wipe the goofy expression off his face while the others laughed. "Now is good," he sighed.
As the heroes lifted off and flew away, Ms Marvel sent a pair of rockets streaking down toward Ultron-6's machine. It exploded in a spectacular fireball that left almost no debris... save for a silver, human-sized egg. The oblong cracked open to reveal Ultron-7. "This upgrade will learn from the mistakes of the past, as well," the new synthezoid declared. "In time, there will be no force anywhere capable of saving humanity from its sorely-deserved destruction!"
----------
I was having a ball of fun... but I also had one request. "Do you think we could have Cyborg and Firestorm be best friends, like they were in the cartoon I watched as a kid? It was one of the things I loved best about that show."
LJ's eyes lit up. "Oh, sure," she grinned. "I even have a great idea for how they become besties!"
As usual, she wasn't kidding.
----------
LJ presents:
CYBORG'S BIG DAY
PART TWO: A CRUEL CONSTITUTIONAL
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
"Cyborg's amazing," Firestorm groused, waving his hands in the air. "He's stupendous. He's the perfect mix of man and machine, the hero who doesn't make mistakes! He's dashing and brave, he's saved the Justice League and Life Force, and Scarlet Witch wants to be his girlfriend 'cause he's sooo dreamy!" He kicked a wall in the Hall of Justice. "Anyone remember the days when I was the new kid and got treated like this? No? Well that's 'cause it didn't happen - I got to power an evil alternate universe instead!"
Plastic Man nodded sympathetically. "I get it, hot-head, really I do, but... well, have you actually sat down and talked to the guy? He's not so bad, y'know? Really humble and funny and nice. You two would probably get along, being around the same age and all..."
Firestorm skewered the pliable paladin with a nuclear stare. "So help me, Plas, if I have to spend so much as a second in the presence of that clanking, oil-dripping rust-bucket, I'm gonna..."
"Firestorm!"
The commanding voice of Superman snapped both heroes to attention. "I've got a mission for you," the Man of Steel said. "It's a routine patrol, more or less, but it'll help the city be ready for any sort of super-villain attack. Now that Dr Doom's in charge of our enemies, I've a feeling they'll be a lot more active... and co-ordinated... than they've been these past few months. You up for it?"
"Absolutely!" Firestorm grinned. "Couldn't be readier!"
"Excellent," Superman said, patting him on the back. "Oh, and take Cyborg with you. It'll do him good, getting to see the city first-hand and meeting its people face-to-face."
Straining his facial muscles, Firestorm locked his grin in place until Superman walked away. Then he shot Plastic Man - who was struggling to stifle a laugh - another fallout-heavy glare. "Not a word," he growled. "Not. A. Word."
Things were much sunnier in Dr Doom's part of the world. Indeed, life was a bed of roses for the Latverian dictator. Almost all of his problems had evaporated in the space of a few days. The Fallen was dead, his top flunkies had been defeated, Joker and Luthor were in prison and Magneto had now joined them. Doom had become the super villain, all without lifting a single metal-wrapped finger! He had but one problem left... the newspaper.
As you can imagine, paperboys were none too fond of delivering in Villainville. Doom often found his newspaper to be 24 hours of out date, which infuriated him. Reading the paper while sipping tea, in his robe and slippers, was one of the despot's few "simple pleasures", and he despised J Jonah Jameson for frustrating his morning routine. Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, he spied the abandoned Imperial AT-AT... and smiled malevolently.
"MODOK! Abomination! Kang!" he bellowed. "Doom has decided he will take the Imperial AT-AT... sorry, the Doom Walker... into the city this morning! And he will do so in his pajamas, for it pleases Doom to do so! You three will accompany Doom on his cruel constitutional and, upon receiving his command, will obtain for him a copy of today's newspaper. So orders Doom!"
The summoned villains snapped to attention. "Can I drive the Walker?" MODOK asked.
"No," Doom snarled. "Only Doom may operate his Doom Walker and, as stated, he will do so in his pajamas! Because this pleases Doom." He chuckled. "Yes."
Kang raised a hand. "May I pilot the speeder-bike, grandfather?"
"Of course you may," Doom said benevolently. Kang grinned in triumph while MODOK pouted.
Over in Super Hero City, Firestorm had finished his patrol of the park lands. He was moving toward Stark Industries when he saw Cyborg out the front of City Hall. "Hey," he called out, "what are you doing? I said I was patrolling this half of the city!"
"I know," Cyborg said pleasantly, "but I've already finished my half, so I thought I'd give you a hand."
"You... but... I... arrgh," Firestorm grumbled under his breath. "Probably bounced around on super-extendo robot feet or something. Perfect super-extendo robot feet, of course."
A hideous groaning, clanking noise caught their attention. From out Villainville stomped a towering metallic nightmare. "What in blazes is that?" Cyborg gasped.
"Oh, so you don't everything!" Firestorm exclaimed. "That, Mr Computer, is the Imperial AT-AT. Which is really strange, seeing as the Imperials are long gone. Hold on a second." He flew to the top of Stark Tower in a blaze of nuclear flame. "Oh, I get it," he said, craning his neck for an even better view. "Doom's taken the thing over! He's driving, and I can see his cronies in the..." He looked around. "Cyborg, where'd ya go?"
"Down here," his ally called plaintively. "I can't fly, man. Could you please tell me everything you can see? I'm totally clueless about this one."
Firestorm blinked. "Really? Oh!" Suddenly, Ronnie Raymond felt bad about his attitude. "Well, umm... Kang's flying the little speeder-bike thingie, and MODOK and Abomination are riding shotgun while Doom's behind the controls. I can see his ugly metal mug peering out the cockpit." He hesitated. "Ah, no offence."
"None taken," Cyborg grinned. "Think we should maybe call in the League? Sounds like there's too much there for us to handle."
The response caught Firestorm off guard. He'd not believed Plastic Man's claims that Cyborg was a humble, decent guy. He'd written the newbie off as a trash-talking, too-cool-for-school, self-important jerk. "The only jerk here, Ronnie, is you," he said to himself. "You made up your mind about Cyborg before you even knew him." He squared his shoulders. "Time to make up for my mistake."
He dropped back down to street level. "The League? Nah," he threw an arm around Cyborg. "We can take 'em, buddy - you and me!"
"Buddy?" Cyborg smiled. "It's been a while since I had a buddy. Okay, let's do it!"
The Doom Walker had, by that time, reached the offices of The Hero Times. J Jonah Jameson was totally oblivious to its arrival. He was too busy pounding his keyboard and creating his latest anti-Spidey rant. Except this editorial had a slightly different target. "Too long has this fair town been plagued by wall-crawling menaces," Jonah said aloud as he typed. "I had thought, dear reader, that the worst example wore red-and-blue webs. Now I know there is a far more heinous spider-person in our great city! And so it is that I call for an immediate ban on the wearing of sleeveless blue hoodies! It is the only way that..."
CRASH! The nose of the Doom Walker smashed through Jonah's window and wall. Doom glared out from the cockpit and spoke, with a booming voice, though a megaphone. "Jameson!" he bellowed. "Why must Doom continually suffer from your delivery inadequacies? Doom's paper is always a day late! Doom needs news, not left-over information from days past!" The Walker's nose turrets locked onto the cowering publisher. "Rectify this situation immediately, or face Doom's wrath!"
"Of course, Mr Doom, of course," Jameson stammered from behind his desk. "You know, a subscription could really solve your problem please don't kill me and it's only $30 a year please don't kill me but I'm sure you'd qualify please don't kill me for our 'low-low' VIP rate please don't kill me of just $29.95 a year..."
The laser turrets prepared to fire. Fortunately for Jonah, the air in front of him instantly transmutated into diamond and reflected the lethal blasts back at the Doom Walker. Firestorm took the fight to Doom while Cyborg rushed the now-blustering publisher ("let me at him, I'm not afraid of any metal-faced fool... no offence") to safety. Doom called out to his minions who were, strangely, nowhere to be found.
"We're over here," MODOK yelled back. "Abomination had to use the toilet, and the information booth wouldn't let him unless he bought something. Should get the 'I Love Super Hero City" coffee mug or the commemorative spoon of the Mayor's inauguration?"
"Get over here and defend Doom, or Doom will burn you all to cinders!" their leader roared.
MODOK, Kang and Abomination rushed at Cyborg and Firestorm. The young heroes, surprisingly, had the advantage. They'd been trained, by the world's greatest heroes, in the best ways to defeat all citizens of Villainville. The bad guys, conversely, had never faced either youngster before. They were totally unprepared for Firestorm's ability to transform matter, and had little chance of matching Cyborg's capabilities. "Our only real problem's that Walker thing," the hi-tech titan concluded as he put Abomination to sleep.
"Yeah," Firestorm agreed, binding Kang in concrete ropes at the same time, "but look: it's head is still stuck in the building! Our luck's holding up!"
"Aha!" MODOK cried. "The Walker! Yes, Doom will save us all!" And with that, the big-headed no-goodnick made a beeline for his boss. Summoning all the mind-blast power he could manage, MODOK zapped the Walker with a beam that was supposed to dislodge it... but it was too strong and instead knocked the vehicle over! Doom yelped as he tumbled unceremoniously from the cockpit and landed in the middle of all the rubberneckers in the park lands.
In his pajamas.
The giggles were quiet at first. Then people started pointing, and sniggering, and laughing, and finally splitting their sides with mirth. The fearsome Dr Victor Von Doom, lord of Villainville and scourge of Super Hero City, wore a monogrammed bathrobe! And spectacles! And Fin Fang Foom slippers! Fear was completely overwhelmed by the ridiculousness of it all. Even Cyborg and Firestorm stopped to chuckle.
Doom shuffled awkwardly and pulled his robe more tightly around him. He toed at the ground self-consciously and tried to remain casual. Finally he gave up and screamed for his minions. Abomination righted the Walker and they all leaped inside. The lumbering mechanical beast took off at full speed like a one-way, no-stops express train to Villainville.
The people cheered... and then looked at Cyborg for the first time. He was unfamiliar to most of them and his half metal, half flesh face was a little freaky-looking. Before anyone could say something they'd later regret, Firestorm stepped forward.
"Everyone: I'd like you to meet my new best friend, Cyborg," he said cheerfully. "He's a 100 per cent genuine Justice League-level super hero! And you know something? He's not arrogant about it, or stuck-up, or a jerk. He's humble and nice and funny, and kind of self-conscious when you get right down to it. He's half computer, sure, but he still makes mistakes just like the rest of us! He's fallible, and flawed, and a bit of a screw-up like anyone our age! Why, I'd bet he'd..."
Cyborg clamped a metal hand over his friend's mouth. "I appreciate what you're trying to do," he said, "but maybe you could not harp so much on my mistakes?" Firestorm looked embarrassed and ashamed, but Cyborg winked. "It's all good, best friend of mine. Let's head for home."
And with that, a new super hero partnership was born!
----------
That was all last weekend. This weekend's been all about crazy humour and madcap adventures.
First, the Warriors Three came to Earth looking for the Avengers. Loki was attacking Asgard with a monster army (made of minifigs!) and Odin wanted his son and his friends leading the counter-attack. The Avengers were on a mission, however, as were the Justice League... leaving only Plastic Man, B'wana Beast, Green Arrow and Red Tornado to answer the call! Rising above their perceived "B-list" status, the four heroes helped the Warriors Three repel the invasion and save Asgard, earning both special medals and, most importantly, Odin's respect.
Secondly, the Mayor's sporadic super-powers returned and he decided to become a full-time hero - with J Jonah Jameson as his publicist! Dr Thompkins, however, concluded that the longer the Mayor used his powers, the greater the chance his "head would explode and his brains would leak out his ears as toxic waste and kill us all!". Nick Fury wanted to recruit him for SHIELD, Iron Man's solution was to "boil water and tear up sheets... no wait, that's for pregnancy" while Thor demanded they "kill it with fire!".
Thankfully, Batman and Robin were there to lend sanity to events. After an aerial battle with the SHIELD Helicarrier, the Dark Knight used the Batwing to snare and hold the increasingly arrogant Mayor while Robin dosed him with an Asgardian cure. The day was saved, but relations between the heroes and SHIELD (already tenuous thanks to Luthor) had worsened.
In the middle of the laughs, though, something serious happened.
----------
"Bah," Loki snarled. He kicked a wall angrily as he materialised in the secret headquarters. "I can't believe my invasion of Asgard was foiled by a bunch of... well, by a bunch of B-listers!"
Dr Arnim Zola turned from his work station and snickered. "It would seem the Norse gods are not as infallible as my country's erstwhile leader repeatedly claimed!"
With a snarl, Loki soared across the room and grabbed Zola by the throat. The little man simpered and pleaded but Loki did not relinquish his grip.
"Trickster god, please," Red Skull sighed as he entered the room. "No one knows more than I how infuriating Dr Zola can be but, for now, we need his expertise. Your invasion failed, yes, but the spell?"
Loki glared at Zola one last time, then let him go. "A complete success," he said coolly as Zola greedily sucked air. "Just like the incantation I used on the Mayor last week. Which means our most potent weapons are ready."
"And right on time, too," Clock King said. He was walking down the stairs from a higher level, tapping figures into his ever-present computer. "The master will be pleased."
"He is," said a voice from on high. "Which is just as well, for you all know the price of failure."
The villains (even Loki!) took a knee and bowed in deference to the new arrival. On his arm he wore a shield that, mythology claimed, was the equal of Captain America's. In his hand he carried a spear with most heinous powers. He had walked the Earth for centuries, choosing to rule when it took his fancy. He had waited, this time, for the opposition to be worth the effort. He was Vandal Savage!
"Clock King, start the countdown," he said, "and then return to Villainville - all of you. I don't want Doom learning of our plans until it is too late for him to interfere." He smiled. "When the timer runs out, so will have the much-vaunted Age of Heroes."
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I said I couldn't wait to see where LJ took her stories next. Now I'm even more excited!
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
Which, I guess, goes to show DC has some idea of what it's doing. We old-timers may turn up our noses at Victor Stone's inclusion in the "New 52" Justice League but, to LJ's generation, he's an essential part of the team. Such is the power of seeing a character from the ground up, I suppose (monkey knows it worked for me with Darkhawk).
Only too happy to oblige my kidlet's new hero-crush, I hunkered down on the floor for some adventuring.
----------
LJ presents:
CYBORG'S BIG DAY
PART ONE: MAGNETIC PERSONALITIES
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
The Mayor was enjoying the peace and quiet of his brand-new City Hall when, in a puff of magical smoke, Dr Strange and Scarlet Witch appeared! "You've got to stop doing that," the Mayor pleaded. "I just can't handle mystical surprises at the moment!" Though he apologised, Dr Strange was more concerned with passing on urgent bad news. "News?" the Mayor asked. "Aren't you both a little old to be doing paper routes?"
Willing himself to remain calm, Dr Strange finally outlined his concern: he had sensed that Magneto was planning a new, evil scheme. The Mayor was unconvinced - everyone knew the villains had unified behind Dr Doom to build a new Villainville, and weren't carrying out individual plans anymore. "My teacher's visions are never wrong," Scarlet Witch countered, "and my father's ambitions won't be restrained by Doom's orders. Please, you must believe us!"
At the Mayor's command, the Super Hero City Police Department went on the alert. They patrolled the streets while the mystics teleported from business to business, warning everyone of the potential danger. Dr Strange cast a spell that was supposed to make Spider-Man appear and help but, instead, the Scarlet Spider materialised in front of them! Ever-mischievous, Ben Reilly took great delight in personally "warning" J Jonah Jameson by webbing him to his chair "so you don't get into trouble". Meanwhile, Commissioner Gordon sent Harvey Bullock to spy on the villains.
Bullock took up a post on the outskirts of Villainville... just in time to get clobbered from behind. He reeled, only to be lifted into the air and turned upside-down. Magneto flicked the detective into a tree with a dismissive wave of his hand, then addressed the hidden figure who'd landed the first blow. "Why have you called me here?" he demanded.
From out the shadows stepped a familiar, malevolent mechanoid. "Greetings, Eric Magnus Lehnsherr," Ultron said. "I am pleased you answered my summons."
"I know of you, creature," Magneto said, raising a hand threateningly, "but I'll admit to being puzzled. Last I heard, the Avengers destroyed you."
"That was Ultron-5," the synthezoid said simply. "I am Ultron-6: the improved, refined model. I shall succeed where my prototype failed... and I shall do so with your assistance. I have crafted a weapon that will eradicate the stain of organic life from the region known as Super Hero City. All it requires for operation is a sufficient magnetic pulse. I want you to generate that pulse."
Magneto frowned. "You presume I would help you? Why?"
"Evolution," Ultron replied. "You, as homo superior, represent the latest evolution of organic life. I am this world's ultimate expression of artificial intelligence. Beings such as us should work in concert to eliminate the primitives that infest this planet so that our species may flourish." He paused. "And would not a resounding victory over the 'heroes' lift your status in the eyes of the villains, thereby allowing you to take leadership from Victor von Doom?"
The master of magnetism agreed and asked to see the machine. Its wide base tapered upward into a towering, feminine statue with energy-blasting eyes. Magneto noticed its similarity to the Wasp, but Ultron-6 ignored him and insisted he stand atop a small control port. "Focus your mutant power downwards to activate the machine," he said. "It will hurt a little, but the end result will be worth it."
Meanwhile, Harvey Bullock had regained consciousness and rushed to Commissioner Gordon. Dr Strange cursed himself for a fool. "It makes sense that Ultron would be involved - he's immune to my mystical senses because he's a machine!" He turned to Wanda. "You must use your hex powers to boost the potency of my teleport spell," he told her. "Concentrate, and increase the odds we will appear precisely where your father is. We must hurry!"
The Scarlet Witch did as she was told and, an instant later, the magical heroes found themselves alongside Ultron-6's machine. Wasting no time, Wanda aimed a pink hex-bolt at the centre of the infernal device and let fly. Unfortunately, that was precisely what the evil synthezoid had wanted. The reality-altering blast scrambled things so that Magneto was stripped of his mutant abilities... all of which were transferred into Ultron-6!
"Thank you," the machine hissed, "for completing my evolutionary cycle. My plan has come to fruition: I am now the most powerful life form on this planet. The eradication of all organic beings - including mutants - begins now."
Magneto slumped over while Ultron-6 bound Scarlet Witch with metal cables. Dr Strange tried to fight back but, as he'd feared, his magic was useless against the synthezoid. As he was pummelled into unconsciousness, the sorcerer supreme willed his astral self to leave his body and fly to Hero Headquarters. He knew only one super-powered champion could save the day now.
Cyborg was performing some routine maintenance when a ghostly voice shouted "Victor!" right in his ear. He yelped, causing the rest of the Justice League to look at him strangely. None of them could hear the voice, which continued to yell and plead urgently. Having checked his audio sensors and found no error, Cyborg sought Dr Thompkins' help.
"If you think it sounds like Dr Strange," she concluded, "did you stop and think maybe it is Dr Strange, communicating by magical means?"
"... aw nuts," Cyborg grimaced.
Having been briefed (and thoroughly told off) by the mystic, Cyborg prepared himself for battle. Not with Ultron-6, mind you, but with Dr Strange's chosen rescue team: Life Force. The girls (especially Ms Marvel) were less than impressed with a boy giving them orders. Victor proved his worth, though, by boosting the SHIELD hover-car for them to use. Wasp allowed him to come along... provided he rode in the back.
Life Force drove the vehicle point-blank at Ultron-6, counting on him to knock it aside with his new powers. That gave them time to flank the synthezoid and blast him, from all sides, with their own abilities. Making good use of the distraction, Cyborg hacked into and reprogrammed Ultron-6's machine. At his command, it drained the stolen magnetic force and returned it to its rightful (and still, thankfully, unconscious) owner.
Sadly, Life Force had already fallen to Ultron-6. Thinking fast, Cyborg used his ability to talk to machines to hack into a nearby billboard. It was advertising women's fashion, so Cyborg ordered its giant, mobile, neon-festooned handbag to swing down and knock Ultron-6 into next week! The unexpected electrical surge overloaded the synthezoid's systems. Weakened, he crumbled to pieces under a sustained assault from Cyborg's white-noise cannon.
"You took him down like a girl," Ms Marvel said, slapping Cyborg on the back. "Nice work!"
"I'll say," agreed Wasp. "I like a man who's not afraid to work in the background to get the job done."
"I didn't just choose him for his technical skills," Dr Strange, now back in his own body, told them. "I knew this mission required a team player."
Scarlet Witch, freed from her bonds, stepped lightly over her sleeping father and shattered kidnapper. She walked up to Cyborg and planted a long, slow kiss on his lips. "Thank you," she said, favouring him with a smouldering smile. Can I interest you in dinner something?"
Cyborg tried - and failed - to wipe the goofy expression off his face while the others laughed. "Now is good," he sighed.
As the heroes lifted off and flew away, Ms Marvel sent a pair of rockets streaking down toward Ultron-6's machine. It exploded in a spectacular fireball that left almost no debris... save for a silver, human-sized egg. The oblong cracked open to reveal Ultron-7. "This upgrade will learn from the mistakes of the past, as well," the new synthezoid declared. "In time, there will be no force anywhere capable of saving humanity from its sorely-deserved destruction!"
----------
I was having a ball of fun... but I also had one request. "Do you think we could have Cyborg and Firestorm be best friends, like they were in the cartoon I watched as a kid? It was one of the things I loved best about that show."
LJ's eyes lit up. "Oh, sure," she grinned. "I even have a great idea for how they become besties!"
As usual, she wasn't kidding.
----------
LJ presents:
CYBORG'S BIG DAY
PART TWO: A CRUEL CONSTITUTIONAL
Written and directed by LJ
Novelisation by SF
"Cyborg's amazing," Firestorm groused, waving his hands in the air. "He's stupendous. He's the perfect mix of man and machine, the hero who doesn't make mistakes! He's dashing and brave, he's saved the Justice League and Life Force, and Scarlet Witch wants to be his girlfriend 'cause he's sooo dreamy!" He kicked a wall in the Hall of Justice. "Anyone remember the days when I was the new kid and got treated like this? No? Well that's 'cause it didn't happen - I got to power an evil alternate universe instead!"
Plastic Man nodded sympathetically. "I get it, hot-head, really I do, but... well, have you actually sat down and talked to the guy? He's not so bad, y'know? Really humble and funny and nice. You two would probably get along, being around the same age and all..."
Firestorm skewered the pliable paladin with a nuclear stare. "So help me, Plas, if I have to spend so much as a second in the presence of that clanking, oil-dripping rust-bucket, I'm gonna..."
"Firestorm!"
The commanding voice of Superman snapped both heroes to attention. "I've got a mission for you," the Man of Steel said. "It's a routine patrol, more or less, but it'll help the city be ready for any sort of super-villain attack. Now that Dr Doom's in charge of our enemies, I've a feeling they'll be a lot more active... and co-ordinated... than they've been these past few months. You up for it?"
"Absolutely!" Firestorm grinned. "Couldn't be readier!"
"Excellent," Superman said, patting him on the back. "Oh, and take Cyborg with you. It'll do him good, getting to see the city first-hand and meeting its people face-to-face."
Straining his facial muscles, Firestorm locked his grin in place until Superman walked away. Then he shot Plastic Man - who was struggling to stifle a laugh - another fallout-heavy glare. "Not a word," he growled. "Not. A. Word."
Things were much sunnier in Dr Doom's part of the world. Indeed, life was a bed of roses for the Latverian dictator. Almost all of his problems had evaporated in the space of a few days. The Fallen was dead, his top flunkies had been defeated, Joker and Luthor were in prison and Magneto had now joined them. Doom had become the super villain, all without lifting a single metal-wrapped finger! He had but one problem left... the newspaper.
As you can imagine, paperboys were none too fond of delivering in Villainville. Doom often found his newspaper to be 24 hours of out date, which infuriated him. Reading the paper while sipping tea, in his robe and slippers, was one of the despot's few "simple pleasures", and he despised J Jonah Jameson for frustrating his morning routine. Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, he spied the abandoned Imperial AT-AT... and smiled malevolently.
"MODOK! Abomination! Kang!" he bellowed. "Doom has decided he will take the Imperial AT-AT... sorry, the Doom Walker... into the city this morning! And he will do so in his pajamas, for it pleases Doom to do so! You three will accompany Doom on his cruel constitutional and, upon receiving his command, will obtain for him a copy of today's newspaper. So orders Doom!"
The summoned villains snapped to attention. "Can I drive the Walker?" MODOK asked.
"No," Doom snarled. "Only Doom may operate his Doom Walker and, as stated, he will do so in his pajamas! Because this pleases Doom." He chuckled. "Yes."
Kang raised a hand. "May I pilot the speeder-bike, grandfather?"
"Of course you may," Doom said benevolently. Kang grinned in triumph while MODOK pouted.
Over in Super Hero City, Firestorm had finished his patrol of the park lands. He was moving toward Stark Industries when he saw Cyborg out the front of City Hall. "Hey," he called out, "what are you doing? I said I was patrolling this half of the city!"
"I know," Cyborg said pleasantly, "but I've already finished my half, so I thought I'd give you a hand."
"You... but... I... arrgh," Firestorm grumbled under his breath. "Probably bounced around on super-extendo robot feet or something. Perfect super-extendo robot feet, of course."
A hideous groaning, clanking noise caught their attention. From out Villainville stomped a towering metallic nightmare. "What in blazes is that?" Cyborg gasped.
"Oh, so you don't everything!" Firestorm exclaimed. "That, Mr Computer, is the Imperial AT-AT. Which is really strange, seeing as the Imperials are long gone. Hold on a second." He flew to the top of Stark Tower in a blaze of nuclear flame. "Oh, I get it," he said, craning his neck for an even better view. "Doom's taken the thing over! He's driving, and I can see his cronies in the..." He looked around. "Cyborg, where'd ya go?"
"Down here," his ally called plaintively. "I can't fly, man. Could you please tell me everything you can see? I'm totally clueless about this one."
Firestorm blinked. "Really? Oh!" Suddenly, Ronnie Raymond felt bad about his attitude. "Well, umm... Kang's flying the little speeder-bike thingie, and MODOK and Abomination are riding shotgun while Doom's behind the controls. I can see his ugly metal mug peering out the cockpit." He hesitated. "Ah, no offence."
"None taken," Cyborg grinned. "Think we should maybe call in the League? Sounds like there's too much there for us to handle."
The response caught Firestorm off guard. He'd not believed Plastic Man's claims that Cyborg was a humble, decent guy. He'd written the newbie off as a trash-talking, too-cool-for-school, self-important jerk. "The only jerk here, Ronnie, is you," he said to himself. "You made up your mind about Cyborg before you even knew him." He squared his shoulders. "Time to make up for my mistake."
He dropped back down to street level. "The League? Nah," he threw an arm around Cyborg. "We can take 'em, buddy - you and me!"
"Buddy?" Cyborg smiled. "It's been a while since I had a buddy. Okay, let's do it!"
The Doom Walker had, by that time, reached the offices of The Hero Times. J Jonah Jameson was totally oblivious to its arrival. He was too busy pounding his keyboard and creating his latest anti-Spidey rant. Except this editorial had a slightly different target. "Too long has this fair town been plagued by wall-crawling menaces," Jonah said aloud as he typed. "I had thought, dear reader, that the worst example wore red-and-blue webs. Now I know there is a far more heinous spider-person in our great city! And so it is that I call for an immediate ban on the wearing of sleeveless blue hoodies! It is the only way that..."
CRASH! The nose of the Doom Walker smashed through Jonah's window and wall. Doom glared out from the cockpit and spoke, with a booming voice, though a megaphone. "Jameson!" he bellowed. "Why must Doom continually suffer from your delivery inadequacies? Doom's paper is always a day late! Doom needs news, not left-over information from days past!" The Walker's nose turrets locked onto the cowering publisher. "Rectify this situation immediately, or face Doom's wrath!"
"Of course, Mr Doom, of course," Jameson stammered from behind his desk. "You know, a subscription could really solve your problem please don't kill me and it's only $30 a year please don't kill me but I'm sure you'd qualify please don't kill me for our 'low-low' VIP rate please don't kill me of just $29.95 a year..."
The laser turrets prepared to fire. Fortunately for Jonah, the air in front of him instantly transmutated into diamond and reflected the lethal blasts back at the Doom Walker. Firestorm took the fight to Doom while Cyborg rushed the now-blustering publisher ("let me at him, I'm not afraid of any metal-faced fool... no offence") to safety. Doom called out to his minions who were, strangely, nowhere to be found.
"We're over here," MODOK yelled back. "Abomination had to use the toilet, and the information booth wouldn't let him unless he bought something. Should get the 'I Love Super Hero City" coffee mug or the commemorative spoon of the Mayor's inauguration?"
"Get over here and defend Doom, or Doom will burn you all to cinders!" their leader roared.
MODOK, Kang and Abomination rushed at Cyborg and Firestorm. The young heroes, surprisingly, had the advantage. They'd been trained, by the world's greatest heroes, in the best ways to defeat all citizens of Villainville. The bad guys, conversely, had never faced either youngster before. They were totally unprepared for Firestorm's ability to transform matter, and had little chance of matching Cyborg's capabilities. "Our only real problem's that Walker thing," the hi-tech titan concluded as he put Abomination to sleep.
"Yeah," Firestorm agreed, binding Kang in concrete ropes at the same time, "but look: it's head is still stuck in the building! Our luck's holding up!"
"Aha!" MODOK cried. "The Walker! Yes, Doom will save us all!" And with that, the big-headed no-goodnick made a beeline for his boss. Summoning all the mind-blast power he could manage, MODOK zapped the Walker with a beam that was supposed to dislodge it... but it was too strong and instead knocked the vehicle over! Doom yelped as he tumbled unceremoniously from the cockpit and landed in the middle of all the rubberneckers in the park lands.
In his pajamas.
The giggles were quiet at first. Then people started pointing, and sniggering, and laughing, and finally splitting their sides with mirth. The fearsome Dr Victor Von Doom, lord of Villainville and scourge of Super Hero City, wore a monogrammed bathrobe! And spectacles! And Fin Fang Foom slippers! Fear was completely overwhelmed by the ridiculousness of it all. Even Cyborg and Firestorm stopped to chuckle.
Doom shuffled awkwardly and pulled his robe more tightly around him. He toed at the ground self-consciously and tried to remain casual. Finally he gave up and screamed for his minions. Abomination righted the Walker and they all leaped inside. The lumbering mechanical beast took off at full speed like a one-way, no-stops express train to Villainville.
The people cheered... and then looked at Cyborg for the first time. He was unfamiliar to most of them and his half metal, half flesh face was a little freaky-looking. Before anyone could say something they'd later regret, Firestorm stepped forward.
"Everyone: I'd like you to meet my new best friend, Cyborg," he said cheerfully. "He's a 100 per cent genuine Justice League-level super hero! And you know something? He's not arrogant about it, or stuck-up, or a jerk. He's humble and nice and funny, and kind of self-conscious when you get right down to it. He's half computer, sure, but he still makes mistakes just like the rest of us! He's fallible, and flawed, and a bit of a screw-up like anyone our age! Why, I'd bet he'd..."
Cyborg clamped a metal hand over his friend's mouth. "I appreciate what you're trying to do," he said, "but maybe you could not harp so much on my mistakes?" Firestorm looked embarrassed and ashamed, but Cyborg winked. "It's all good, best friend of mine. Let's head for home."
And with that, a new super hero partnership was born!
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That was all last weekend. This weekend's been all about crazy humour and madcap adventures.
First, the Warriors Three came to Earth looking for the Avengers. Loki was attacking Asgard with a monster army (made of minifigs!) and Odin wanted his son and his friends leading the counter-attack. The Avengers were on a mission, however, as were the Justice League... leaving only Plastic Man, B'wana Beast, Green Arrow and Red Tornado to answer the call! Rising above their perceived "B-list" status, the four heroes helped the Warriors Three repel the invasion and save Asgard, earning both special medals and, most importantly, Odin's respect.
Secondly, the Mayor's sporadic super-powers returned and he decided to become a full-time hero - with J Jonah Jameson as his publicist! Dr Thompkins, however, concluded that the longer the Mayor used his powers, the greater the chance his "head would explode and his brains would leak out his ears as toxic waste and kill us all!". Nick Fury wanted to recruit him for SHIELD, Iron Man's solution was to "boil water and tear up sheets... no wait, that's for pregnancy" while Thor demanded they "kill it with fire!".
Thankfully, Batman and Robin were there to lend sanity to events. After an aerial battle with the SHIELD Helicarrier, the Dark Knight used the Batwing to snare and hold the increasingly arrogant Mayor while Robin dosed him with an Asgardian cure. The day was saved, but relations between the heroes and SHIELD (already tenuous thanks to Luthor) had worsened.
In the middle of the laughs, though, something serious happened.
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"Bah," Loki snarled. He kicked a wall angrily as he materialised in the secret headquarters. "I can't believe my invasion of Asgard was foiled by a bunch of... well, by a bunch of B-listers!"
Dr Arnim Zola turned from his work station and snickered. "It would seem the Norse gods are not as infallible as my country's erstwhile leader repeatedly claimed!"
With a snarl, Loki soared across the room and grabbed Zola by the throat. The little man simpered and pleaded but Loki did not relinquish his grip.
"Trickster god, please," Red Skull sighed as he entered the room. "No one knows more than I how infuriating Dr Zola can be but, for now, we need his expertise. Your invasion failed, yes, but the spell?"
Loki glared at Zola one last time, then let him go. "A complete success," he said coolly as Zola greedily sucked air. "Just like the incantation I used on the Mayor last week. Which means our most potent weapons are ready."
"And right on time, too," Clock King said. He was walking down the stairs from a higher level, tapping figures into his ever-present computer. "The master will be pleased."
"He is," said a voice from on high. "Which is just as well, for you all know the price of failure."
The villains (even Loki!) took a knee and bowed in deference to the new arrival. On his arm he wore a shield that, mythology claimed, was the equal of Captain America's. In his hand he carried a spear with most heinous powers. He had walked the Earth for centuries, choosing to rule when it took his fancy. He had waited, this time, for the opposition to be worth the effort. He was Vandal Savage!
"Clock King, start the countdown," he said, "and then return to Villainville - all of you. I don't want Doom learning of our plans until it is too late for him to interfere." He smiled. "When the timer runs out, so will have the much-vaunted Age of Heroes."
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I said I couldn't wait to see where LJ took her stories next. Now I'm even more excited!
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF