LJ presents: Kings of Time
Continuity. It's a dirty word to some, to others it's a catchy tune. To my daughter its a tool that, when properly applied, takes her already-epic adventures to new heights of imagination and excitement.
LJ promised me a grand adventure and she well and truly delivered. We started playing this game on Thursday - the beginning of our mutual holiday - and only finished it yesterday afternoon. Along the way, LJ incorporated all the characters in her collection, a bunch of different locations and some noodle-bending time-travel physics. And she crafted it in the form of a sequel to last year's Storm of Time crossover, meaning the Mysterious Seven were back in action!
If you have even half as much fun reading this (and checking out the photos) as I did assisting the kidlet in her flights of fantasy, then you're in for a brilliant experience. And if DC's "soft reboot" plans are driving you nuts, read on to find a haven where comic book adventures are done right...
Kings of Time #0
A fairy tale
Once upon a time, there was a businessman and a bureaucrat. The businessman was the sort of fellow who worried all the time, especially about his company. He worried that, if he wasn't careful, he could lose everything he'd built. And so he lived by a rigorous schedule. The bureaucrat advised him to slow down, take things less to heart, and relax. He told the businessman to take his coffee break five minutes later than usual, just to prove "the world won't end". The businessman tried it, only to watch vital paperwork blow away in the summer breeze. It was the start of a chain-reaction that saw him audited, bankrupted and ruined. He was left penniless, consumed by his anger with the bureaucrat.
That public servant went on to become the Mayor of Super Hero City. The broken businessman, meanwhile, went on to become the insidious, malevolent villain known as the Clock King.
Seven months ago...
"Are you sure about this plan?" the tall man asked.
"Of course, my friend, of course," Clock King assured his friend. "You can trust me as you would trust a tightly-wound timepiece. Into the freezing chamber you go and, when the time is right, I shall wake you. On that fateful day, all our dreams will come true."
The tall man nodded and stepped into the small, glass-lined chamber. Clock King threw a large blue switch, causing the device to fill with super-cold gas. The chamber's occupant dropped immediately into suspended animation as the Clock King smiled. The plan was running precisely to schedule. "All I require is patience," he told himself. "When the time is right, Batman shall be defeated... the Mayor will suffer the fate he so richly deserves... and you and I will control every tick of the clock."
There was a loud knock on the door. "Clock King!" the Red Skull yelled. "It is time to execute our master plan! Are you ready?"
Clock King looked back toward the freezing chamber. "More than ready," he smiled coolly.
----------
Kings of Time #1
The weathermen had predicted a week of sunshine and, to the Mayor of Super Hero City, that meant one thing: time for a parade! He called the SHC police department together to discuss plans for his "hooray for summer" march. Every time he turned his back, however, it seemed like the person he'd just been talking to disappeared. All of a sudden, the Mayor found himself without any form of police escort... and, instead, alone with the Clock King! The villain had slipped between seconds to eliminate the Mayor's bodyguards!
The Mayor ran, screaming for help, but he didn't get far. Clock King, with his ability to speed-and-slow the flow of time, cut him off at every turn. Just as he reached for the Mayor, sneering about time having "run out", the Batmobile flew around the corner! Batman drove his amazing vehicle between Clock King and the Mayor and demanded the bad guy stand down. Grinning, Clock King pulled a fast fade - only to reappear on the opposite side of the Batmobile and take off with the Mayor!
Batman gave chase, following Clock King to a warehouse on the outskirts of town. In his haste, he forgot one thing: Clock King is a master planner. An unseen landmine shredded the Batmobile's rear front tyres and it flipped over. Batman freed himself and crept inside the warehouse. In a locked room he found a cryogenic chamber - and it looked like there was someone inside. Fearing it was the Mayor, Batman worked quickly to deactivate the device. The figure inside thawed... and Batman found himself staring into the cold, emotionless eyes of Mr Freeze!
With a single chilling blast, Mr Freeze put Batman on ice. He loaded the snap-frozen hero into the chamber as Clock King and his hostage, the Mayor, entered. The Mayor was already upset, but seeing Batman defeated pushed him over the line into anger. He then became furious when Clock King drew back a curtain and revealed his secret weapon.
"That's a piece of Doctor Doom's time machine!" he gasped. "Clock King, you can't be serious. That infernal contraption almost destroyed not only the world, but all of history. You mustn't use it!"
"I will succeed where Doom failed," Clock King promised. "My colleague and I have planned this operation down to the second."
"Our patience is glacial," Mr Freeze agreed.
"This refitted, refurbished device will make us the kings of time," Clock King said. "I will rule the future, because my organisational skills will mesh with the technology that's sure to be there. Mr Freeze will take over the past, turning it into a permanent Ice Age so he can live freely without his suit." He leaned in close to the Mayor. "You and Batman will be left alive long enough to see us triumph," he sneered. "After that, the two of you will be referred to only in the past tense."
He activated the time machine, and the heavens screamed.
Meanwhile, the time-muddled police officers were trying to figure out where the Mayor had gone. Above them, the skies tore open as a time storm formed over the city. From out its roiling, thunderous clouds fell a menagerie of robotic, cybernetic and monstrous organisms from Earth's distant future. The police scattered and did the only sensible thing - they called in the Justice League!
Superman and his colleagues raced to the scene, accompanied by an expert adviser. Gadget, the futuristic crash-test dummy, and his Mysterious Seven team-mates had been visiting Hero Headquarters when the call came in. "They're definitely from my era," he said as the League moved to attack. "They're super-strong, super-tough and super-brainless. Hit 'em hard!"
Through team work and clever-thinking, the League managed to beat back the monsters. Aquaman and Wonder Woman had particular success combining the fire engine's water hoses with a blast from a petrol pump. Just as it seemed the League would triumph, the time storm flared again. Seven thick, pulsating bolts of lightning shot out of the dark clouds. Six arced through the red skies and struck different parts of Hero Headquarters. The seventh stabbed down between the League and its foes... and, when the dust cleared, they were gone.
Captain Fanzone grabbed his radio and called Hero Headquarters. There was no answer. His face sagged as he realised every single one of Earth's defenders... the only beings capable of stopping the time storm... had vanished.
----------
Kings of Time: Avengers
A moment earlier, the Avengers had been in Hero Headquarters. A moment later...
"Who planted cactus in Hulk's room?" Hulk bellowed.
The Avengers weren't in Super Hero City anymore. They were in the Old West; more specifically, the small town once guarded by their friend Zeke Arizona. "Never thought I'd see this dusty 'ol homestead again," the cowboy sniffed, feeling a mite sentimental. "Wonder how much time's passed since I left?"
That, Ant-Man explained, was the least of their worries. The time storm, he theorised, had zeroed in not on the mansion but on each member of the Mysterious Seven. "Seeing you were all in different rooms at the time," he said to Zeke, "it's likely our friends have been scattered all throughout history, with time storms breaking out above them." He told the Avengers they had to be very careful, as any actions they took in the past could alter the future - and their home.
The heroes clad themselves in discarded clothes from a nearby barn and, following Zeke's lead, made their way into town. The place seemed deserted... until the bartender came running over, hollering Zeke's name. "Sheriff," he cried, "where ya been the past two days? All the townsfolk have gone plum loco!" He skidded to a halt when he saw the Hulk. "Land's sakes... why's this here fella all green?"
Zeke hurried over to keep the bartender on track. The older man led them into his bar, where the town's entire population stood staring at the same spot on a wall. "They've been doin' that fer days," he sighed. Iron Man's discrete scan revealed nothing unusual, but Thor smelled magic in the air.
"Tarnation," Zeke spat. "Poisanna must be back in town." He explained that, in this era, his worst enemy was "the wicked witch of the Old West". "She steals money from the bank to buy things for her potions and spells," he said. "She's the first witch in America, and she doesn't take kindly to ordinary folk."
"This country wasn't built on enslaved minds," Captain America said. "Let's find this witch and teach her the meanings of liberty and justice!"
Outside, someone cackled. "I know what those words mean, stranger," Poisanna screeched, soaring through the saloon doors on her broomstick. "And they're a pain on my ears!" She landed on the balcony and was joined by two familiar faces - Clock King and Mr Freeze. "They've promised me the whole county in exchange for destroying you," she said, "but I can't do that." She gestured to the townsfolk, who suddenly turned savage. "So my new pets will do it for me!"
Zeke and the Avengers dared not fight too hard for fear of injuring innocent people. Hulk gave it away almost instantly, leaping for Mr Freeze instead. The cold villain managed to partially freeze Thor before having to content with the jade giant. The other heroes resorted to trickery to end the bar-room brawl. Hawkeye made great use of the liquor cabinet, topping his arrows with corks so he could drop townsfolk non-lethally.
Iron Man moved to intercept Clock King, but the villain would have none of it. "Time for reinforcements," he declared, waving his scepter. Another time storm flared and, in a blinding flash, Doctor Doom and the Marvel villains appeared in the bar. "Save your inefficient questions for another time," Clock King snapped. "Kill all your worst enemies or I will leave you stranded in this backwards world forever!"
"Finally," Hulk roared, "someone Hulk can smash!"
Disoriented by unexpected time-travel, Doom and his cronies fared poorly. Disgusted, CLock King and Mr Freeze beat a hasty retreat back into the time-stream. Zeke struggled to stop Poisanna, but the Black Panther had a plan. He couldn't use a Vibranium weapon, for doing so would disrupt the course of history. Instead, he loaded a Vibranium bullet into one of Zeke's guns and threw it to the cowboy. The futuristic projectile shattered the jewel on Poisanna's hat, ending her hold on the townsfolk.
Zeke grabbed the flying broomstick and ran outside. "If them storms like me so much," he whooped, "I reckon I'm the one to lasso and break this ornery mare."
"Zeke, wait, you can't!" Ant-Man cried. But it was too late. Every inch the hero, Zeke rode the broom like a bucking bronco up into the storm, hoping its magic would disrupt the storm. It did and, with a hideous, world-ending crack, the time storm ended. The Avengers watched sadly as Zeke's hat fluttered down out of the sky, landing at their feet. "He was the greatest of us all," Cap said solemnly.
"Thanks, Cap, that means a lot," Zeke quipped.
The Avengers turned to find the cowboy smiling. He was a little banged up, a little bruised, but altogether none the worse for wear. Although the Hulk's bear-hug did knock the wind out of him. When Ant-Man went to hand the hat to Zeke, it started glowing with time-travel energy. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but your hat is now a time machine," Ant-Man said incredulously. "You'll be able to send us home, and to travel back and forth between our time and yours whenever you like."
"Sounds like a good deal to me," Zeke grinned. "Now let's get you fellas home so's you can take down that ticking varmit and I can set about rebuilding this here town of mine."
----------
Kings of Time: The Brave and the Bold
Professor Ryan Choi, aka The Atom, was beside himself. "There's a time storm above us - don't touch anything," he screamed. "We're in Earth's distant past! Henry Ugh Jr's time! You could alter history by doing something as tiny as bending a blade of grass! A drop of your sweat could alter the course of human evolution! And whatever you do, don't..."
Plastic Man sneezed.
"We're doomed," Atom wailed. His shrieks attracted the local wildlife's attention. Two ferocious-looking dinosaurs stampeded toward them. The heroes moved to defend themselves but Atom stopped them. "Damaging these creatures could change history! It's better we get eaten that ruin our future!"
"Silly Atom," Henry tutted. "Us no get eaten. These am my pets. Sit, boys!" At his command the dinosaurs screeched to a halt, sat back on their hind legs and begged like obedient dogs. "See? All am good!"
While Atom muttered darkly about the fossil record and contradicting paleontology, the others got their bearings. Guy Gardner looked up. "Another time storm, like the one back home," he groused. "Terrific."
"The time-lightning must have homed in on Ugh and the rest of the Mysterious Seven," Atom hypothesised. "It took them back to their own eras, and dragged us along for the ride. The real question is who started this latest time storm, and why?"
Blue Beetle tapped him on the shoulder. "I think that'll have to wait, Professor," he said. "We've got incoming!"
From out the clouds swooped a one-eyed, razor-toothed, battle-armoured alien on a flying motorcycle. The hideous beast laughed and screamed as it fired death rays at the heroes. Every blast they dodged dug into the ground, causing giant rock monsters to rise up and join the assault! All the heroes were shocked... all save Henry Ugh Jr.
"It am Choking Hazard, my worst enemy," the caveman growled. "Him what you would call a 'space biker'. Like to ride around here, scare people from my village," He hefted his club and leaped aboard one of the dinosaurs. "Him reason all other dinosaurs die out. Me take him down hard!"
Atom watched him ride away in sheer disbelief. "An alien killed the dinosaurs? An alien? I... I... urrgh..." His genius-level intellect overwhelmed, Atom fainted.
"I think he'll be a lot more use to us that way," Gardner sniffed. "Let's take these turkeys down!"
Plastic Man entangled the granite monster while Firestorm turned him back into a rock ("I think we just invented Transformers!"). Green Arrow and Blue Beetle kept the magma-spewing monster busy while B'wana Beast caused it to merge with one of Ugh's dinosaurs ("I think I just invented dragons!"). Gardner and Red Tornado shredded Choking Hazard's bike, leaving him easy prey for Ugh. The biker turned toward a nearby tree and yelled: "this wasn't part of the deal, you guys! Help me!"
The tree shimmered - it was just a hologram - and revealed Clock King and Mr Freeze. "This is the world I wish to rule," Mr Freeze intoned. "I will not let it be saved by enemies who will not be born for centuries." He nodded to Clock King who brandished his sceptre. The time storm flared and tore the sky open, bringing forth the Joker, Gentlemen Ghost and the Black Manta! Offered the same "deal" as Doom and his team, the villains moved swiftly - and took down Firestorm, Beetle and Arrow!
Thanks to the element of surprise and the brand-new Jokermobile, the villains took the upper-hand in the battle. Then, in a thunder of feet and a hooting of deranged lunacy, Atom rode a dinosaur into the fray! "This world makes no scientific sense whatsoever," he babbled, charging toward Clock King. "It's sheer lunacy, and so madness is the only sane response! Whoopee!"
"I know crazy," Joker said admiringly, "and mister, that is crazy!" His distraction allowed Guy Gardner time to recover and rally. His colleagues soon followed suit. Red Tornado struck the decisive blow. He gathered up the hot prehistoric winds and shaped them into a single tight funnel, which he directed straight at Mr Freeze's helmet. The super-cooled glass shattered, and the villains fell into retreat. They vanished in a flash of time-travel, but the time storm remained overhead.
Henry knew what to do. He climbed onto Red Tornado's back and they flew into the madness. The android held the storm at bay long enough for Henry to shove his club into its centre. There was an explosion, then a great sucking noise, as the tempest died out. Blue Beetle zipped up and caught his friends, lowering them safely back to the ground. As they celebrated, they noticed Henry's club had started glowing with the power of the time storm.
"Of course it's a time-travelling caveman club," Atom giggled hysterically. "It would have to be now, wouldn't it? You can't have a scientifically anachronistic past full of dinosaurs, space bikers, dragons and rock monsters without a time travelling caveman club - it just wouldn't be right!" And then he fainted again.
"Statement: hopefully, once we have returned to our era," Red Tornado observed, "the professor will believe his experiences to be no more than a bad dream."
"No bad dream for me," Henry smiled. "Have home and dinosaurs back, have way of coming to see friends in future. All Henry's dreams come true!"
----------
Kings of Time: Star Wars
Chicago, the mid-1920s. One tough town, festering with crime and corruption. A shot rang out in the gloom of the time storm; a bank alarm was silenced, and a gang of toughs ran through the night clutching their ill-gotten gains. Before they could get far they were set upon by a giant, ferocious beast!
"Keep them busy, Chewbacca," the Illusioneer said, preparing his magic wand. "I know these hoodlums and, worse, who they work for. I need a moment to ready the correct spell to send them back from whence they came before..."
"Before we go looking for the Millennium Falcon," Han Solo interrupted, leading Luke, Leia and the droids out into the street. "The ship was right next to us when that time storm zapped us back to your era. I hate being away from her... anything could have happened."
R2-D2 beeped happily and C3PO translated. "Artoo says the Falcon is nearby," he exclaimed. "Right overhead, in fact."
"Overhead?" the others asked. On instinct, each hero dodged behind cover - just in time to avoid a barrage of turbolaser fire! The Falcon had been commandered by a malevolent force, which rose from the cockpit like a doomsday spectre. On first glance it appeared to be a typical 1920s gangster but, upon looking closer, Luke and his friends could see a pale complexion, a widow's peak haircut and blood-sucking fangs. It was a vampire!
"Lord Bludcreep," the Illusioneer hissed. "I knew these were your mobsters."
"Being out of the game for a few weeks hasn't hurt your memory, eh?" the vampire chuckled. "We've missed you round these parts, top-hat. Boys: give him the welcome he deserves!"
One mobster asked Princess Leia to be his moll. She used the Force to toss him in a trash can. Luke used the Jedi mind trick on two gangsters who "volunteered" to return the stolen funds to the bank. Chewie and Han bowled through the rest while the Illusioneer tangled with Bludcreep. Artoo and Threepio, meanwhile, made for the Falcon's controls. Artoo almost had the vampire's control of the ship broken when a blast of freezing cold engulfed him!
Clock King and Mr Freeze emerged from the hidden smuggler's compartment and threew the droids out. "Bludcreep," Clock King yelled. "If you don't 'take down' these 'mugs', our arrangement will be cancelled. My colleague will freeze Chicago as well as the rest of your world, instead of leaving you a city to rule. Move quickly, time is money!"
Bludcreep pushed the Illusioneer to one side and cast magic toward his goons. As a crowd of onlookers watched in horror, the mobsters became monsters!
As the battle raged, an unlikely hero emerged. Fighting down his natural fear, C3PO picked his way through the ruckus and crept back aboard the ship. Making sure to dodge the villains, he plugged himself into the Falcon's targeting systems. Now in control of the turbolasers, the protocol droid engaged in some gun-barrel negotiations. "Attention everyone," he announced falteringly. "I am C3PO, human/cyborg relations, and I am a terrible shot. I cannot guarantee anyone will survive once I start firing, so those who value their lives should evacuate the immediate area. Thank you."
The monster-mobsters fled, followed closely by Bludcreep. Clock King and Mr Freeze slipped away, but their time-machine exit worsened the storm overhead. The Illusioneer cast a spell of forgetfulness over the bystanders, then he and Han boarded the ship. Remembering what the Doctor had done to the last time storm, the Illusioneer climbed onto the Falcon's radar dish as Han took them up into the skies.
The magician cast a spell, seeking to funnel the storm's energies into his enchanted hat. It worked, but not for the reasons he thought: already laced with chronal energy, the hat became super-charged and transformed into a time-travelling device! The time storm had ended, the Rebels had a way of getting home and the Illusioneer's two worlds - past and future - were forever connected.
"Have you need of me, simply call," the Illusioneer said, bidding his friends farewell. "But for now, I have a motley crew of criminals to round up!"
----------
Kings of Time: Transformers
"Someone needs to turn the lights down," Bumblebee grimaced. "That bulb is shining like the sun!"
"Uh," Bulkhead ventured, "I think that is the sun, little buddy."
"Oh. Well, that explains it. So where are we?"
Escorpion Azul sighed happily. "We are home," he grinned. "Mi casa, my village in Mexico. At long last I have returned to la raza! Oh my friends, I know you are stranded here with me but, until the storm overhead breaks, I will show you such hospitality! My village wants for nothing. I will treat you with thrilling matches, the finest food..."
"Zombies?" Ratchet asked.
The Autobots looked where he pointed. In the distance, a zombie was chasing the residents of Escorpion's town. "Looks like a job for the fastest thing on wheels," Bumblebee beamed. "Back in a sec, guys!"
"Mi amigo, wait..." Escorpion said, but it was too late. The smallest Autobot had zoomed away, thrusting himself between the citizens and the monster. Bumblebee transformed and peppered the zombie with blasts from his stinger. The beast, unaffected, grabbed the yellow mech with his dirty hands and effortlessly slammed him into the ground!
"Guys, help!" Bumblebee wailed. "This guy is too dumb to understand he's supposed to lose to me!"
The Autobots came to the rescue but, before they could attack, Escorpion stepped in the way. "Naughty zombie," he growled, waggling a finger at the monster. "Very, very bad! I know I've been away, but that's no reason to go scaring all these nice people. You go back to the locker room, right now, or there'll be no championship match for you tonight! Vamanos!" The zombie's bottom lip quivered as it sobbed and sulked its way toward a nearby bull ring.
"That made no sense," Jazz winced.
"It's lucha libre," Escorpion grinned. "We may be rudos and technicos in the ring, but backstage we're all friends!" He pointed to the bull ring. "Come, we must see to the zombie. He is my toughest opponent but he never attacks the townspeople. I fear someone has put strange ideas in what is left of his head."
As the heroes entered the bull ring, its enormous doors slammed shut behind them! Clock King was sitting on a giant wooden throne nearby. Escorpion's people had been tied into the bleachers, the zombie was in the ring and - worst of all - the Decepticons were in the ring! "No plan is so complete that it cannot be finessed," Clock King sneered. "Given the problems I have encountered at other points in the time stream..."
"Our friends must have been transported as well," Optimus said to his mechs. "The weather pattern above us is a time storm, similar to the one we faced before. And it has been created by this human's greed and foolishness!"
"... I am no longer prepared to leave matters to chance. Decepticons: destroy them and I shall return you to your own time. Fail, and it will be a long time before you see another gas station!"
Escorpion Azul strode into the ring. "You are more monster than the zombie," he spat at Clock King. "We will fight your servants, Senor Tick-Tock, but we shall do so with honour. We will battle them in lucha libre!"
Though they were hostages, the crowd nonetheless thrilled to an unprecedented series of matches. Jazz's bout with Soundwave turned into a handicap match when the Decepticon ejected Ravage and Laserbeak to gain the advantage. A well-timed run-in by Grimlock saved the day, and the Dinobot went on to crush Frenzy in a (literal) squash match. Ratchet stomped a mud-hole in Starscream, while Bumblebee and Bulkhead proved themselves a better tag-team than Barricade and Blitzwing.
In the first of the two main events, Optimus Prime took on Megatron. The Autobot leader had the match well in hand until his eternal enemy waffled him with an enormous steel chair! Optimus barely avoided the pinfall. He surprised Megatron - and everyone else watching - by pulling off a perfect copy of John Cena's "Attitude Adjustment" finishing move for the win! Finally, the battle between Escorpion and the zombie climaxed with the masked man flying off the top turnbuckle and landing his patented big splash to claim victory. "The rudos are vanquished!" he exclaimed.
Furious, Clock King transported both himself and the Decepticons away, despite his threats. Their departure whipped the time storm into a time tornado, which bore down on the village with murderous force. The Autobots were tossed in all directions but Escorpion stood tall. He wrapped himself in his cape and marched into the centre of the maelstrom, wrestling the chaotic forces into submission. The amazing show of strength altered the fabric of his cape, weaving chronal energy into his threads and giving the champion the ability to travel in time.
It also left him on the ground, badly injured, just seconds from death.
Ratchet rushed to help him, but soon realised he could do nothing. When all seemed lost, the zombie stepped forward. It reached out with one hand, imparting a fragment of its undying life-essence to its greatest rival. Escorpion came back to life and the Autobots celebrated. Ratchet was stunned, but Escorpion just smiled. "It's lucha libre," he said weakly. "We may be rudos and technicos in the ring, but backstage we're all friends."
The townspeople, now freed, hailed their returned hero. With a sweep of his cape, Escorpion opened a portal to send the Autobots home. "We will see each other again, my friends," he said, helping the zombie wave goodbye, "the next time adventure brings us together!"
----------
Kings of Time: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The riders were heavily armed, and their horses armoured. They tore through the forest in search of their quarry, ignoring the heinous wind and rain generated by the time storm. They quested, but were unlikely to find their target. Patrick, the Forest Hunter, had already taken to the bushes to escape the Duke's men. By his side were four very unlikely allies.
"Remind me why we're hiding from these turkeys again?" Raphael snarled.
Donatello sighed. "C'mon, Raph, we've all time-travelled enough to know the drill. We blend in, we follow the directions of our local ally, we find a way home."
"Right now, the best thing we can do is follow Patrick's lead," Leonardo added.
"Sheer brilliance from our 'fearless leader'," Raph growled. "First sign of trouble, he passes the reins to someone else. Wonderful!"
Patrick silenced them with a wave. "Our task here is two-fold," he said. "We must get into the castle, and we must steal the Duke's gold. What you don't know about me, my friends, is that I am what you would call a 'secret agent' - a spy for our real, exiled king. By giving his treasures to the peasants, we bankrupt the Duke and ready England for our lord's return." He looked down at the ground and smiled, judging the time was right. "Wait here for my signal," he said as he ran out of the bushes toward the riders. "What ho, villains?" he laughed.
A master swashbuckler, Patrick was more than a match for his heavily-armed foes. As a result they didn't play fair and one snuck around behind the hunter. "Patrick, dude, watch your six," Michaelangelo cried from the trees. Before his brothers could stop him, the youngest of the Turtles had joined the battle with a mighty "cowabunga!".
The riders were soon unconscious but their leader - the captain of the guard - managed to escape. The Turtles came out of hiding, and Leo bonked Mikey gently in the head. "Sorry, dudes," the errant ninja said sheepishly. "Got a little hyped up there."
Patrick hit upon a replacement plan. By the time the captain returned with reinforcements, the hunter and the Turtles had surrendered. The defeated riders were guarding them as well as their groggy, somewhat-concussed brains allowed. To Patrick's surprise, one of the reinforcements was the Duke himself - Livingstone Skullman, the Black Knight! The Turtles were even more shocked to discover that, beneath his helmet, Duke Skullman was a skeleton warrior!
"Oh, I get it," Mikey sniggered. "Livingstone Skullman, living skull. I see what they did there!"
Much to Raph's disgust, the heroes allowed themselves to be marched back to Skullman's dungeon and locked up. The guard captain took Patrick's bow, but he did not react. Once inside the cells, the hunter triggered a secret escape panel. "I know all the tunnels in this place," he said. He, Raph, Mikey and Donatello headed for the treasure room; Leo decided to scout the throne room and "gather some intel".
It was a wise move. He found Skullman meeting with his "grand wizards", whom Leo instantly recognised as Clock King and Mr Freeze. All of a sudden, a lot of things made sense to the Turtles' leader. He listened as Skullman told the "wizards" of his prisoners, and watched their panic. Clock King was very upset to learn there were heroes in the forest, and Mr Freeze seemed angry with his partner. They ordered Skullman to send more guards to the dungeon; Leo knew he had to move quickly.
He crept back through the tunnels, passing over the banquet hall. Below, he saw the massed guards charge toward his brothers, Patrick and a wheelbarrow full of gold. Leo dropped from the ceiling to catch the villains in a pincher movement. Upon hearing the noise, Duke Skullman ran in and the battle began in earnest.
The guards were well-trained, but no match for the ninja brothers. Raph had the most trouble; the guard captain was almost as good with the bow as Patrick was. As Raph leaped toward him, he loosed a volley of arrows. Only split-second timing allowed the Turtle to turn at the right time and catch the arrows in his shell instead of his head. The captain didn't fare nearly as well.
Raph recovered Patrick's weapons and tossed them over, but the hero didn't need them. He used the wheelbarrow to parry, block and otherwise frustrate Skullman's attacks. The skeleton hissed and spat as Patrick knocked loose more pieces of his enchanted armour. With no magic to hold his bones together, Skullman clattered into a pile on the banquet hall floor. "Curse you, Forest Hunter," his head raged. "I will have my revenge!"
Leo dashed back toward the throne room. Clock King and Mr Freeze had vanished, leaving in their wake another tear in time. It pulsed with the same energy as the time storm above, turning the castle into a death-trap of lightning, wind and rain.
"Patrick," Don yelled over the indoor storm. "Your body has stored-up time travel energy inside it! You can plug the storm if you get close enough!"
The Forest Hunter grabbed two discarded shields for protection. Then he tied a length of stretchy vine to the ends of two arrows and fired, making a slingshot. He hurtled into the breach and it sealed as he sailed through. The storm's power and abilities soaked into his quiver. "Welcome to the time-travelling jet-set," Don smirked. "Make sure to keep track of your frequent flyer miles!"
Patrick and the Turtles gathered up the treasure and went back into the forest, headed for the headquarters of the rebellion. Patrick wanted to introduce his "future friends" to his fellow spies, but Leo declined. "I think we've done enough damage to history for one day," he said, looking meaningfully at Mikey. "It's better we use your quiver to get home right away."
The valiant warriors bid each other farewell, knowing their paths would inevitably cross again.
----------
Kings of Time: Super Hero Squad
Hanzo Hattori had walked through time, conquered monsters and demons, and never once gone to his knees before a foe. Yet as the time storm moved away from him and into the sky, he sank into the soft beach sand and wept. After years of displacement, of loss, he was home.
"This is Okinawa," Iron Fist said reverently.
"I don't believe it," Wolverine breathed.
"Question," Spider-Man interrupted. "What's an 'Okinawa' and why does it make Logan smile?"
While the Super Hero Squad got its bearings, Hanzo ran toward his tiny fishing village. He wanted nothing more than to see his beloved wife and family. To his horror, the village was deserted. He kept on running until he found them... fighting for their lives against Captain Redbeard's pirate crew! The time storm had returned the rapscallion of the waves to this era as well!
Warrior's fury washed over the ninja as he entered the battle, wielding his sword with devastating skill. Moments later he was joined by the Squad, who weren't about to let fears for the time stream stop them helping the innocent.
As Wolverine deposited the last of the crew back in their boat, Hanzo fought Redbeard one-to-one. "It's good to be back home, eh ninja?" the captain said, "I'm glad ye returned as well as I. Pillaging this island o' yers wouldn't a been half as much fun without you t' clash with!"
"You'll do no more pillaging, ya scurvy dog," yelled an unfamiliar voice. "This island now be the property o' Captain Eight-Legs and the most Sinister crew on the Seven Seas!"
Everyone stopped and turned... then their jaws hit the floor. Doctor Octopus and the rest of the Sinister Six were in a pirate ship. They were dressed in pirate clothes. They even had cutlasses and eye-patches. And they were attacking the island!
"Okay," Spidey deadpanned, looking at Wolverine, "the Six have officially lost their marbles."
The Squad engaged their long-time enemies. Silver Surfer, meanwhile, took to the skies. He hoped to use his Power Cosmic to tame the time storm and spare Okinawa any more damage. In the centre of the storm, however, was Clock King - and he was enraged. "More blasted heroes," he wailed. "It seems as if every last inch of time is filled with them! Even seeding the past with villains has no effect! If the past cannot be conquered, then I will rule the future uncontested!" He faded away, creating a bubble of chronal energy that burst and sent the Surfer hurtling toward the ground.
As Pepper Potts tended to the fallen hero, Hanzo grabbed Redbeard by the shoulder. "We may always fight over this island," he said, "but surely we can agree it should not be lost to these abominations."
"Aye, ye speak the truth," Redbeard agreed. "Let this so-called Captain Eight-Legs taste the steel of a real pirate and a real ninja!"
One by one, the addled Six fell to the Squad. And, one by one, Doc Ock's arms were damaged or severed by Redbeard and Hanzo. The ninja looked up at the worsening time storm and knew what he had to do. He coiled one of the defeated Ock's arms into a giant spring and propelled himself into the heart of the tempest. Shockingly, Redbeard copied and followed. "Ain't nowhere I trust ye to go without me there ta be a part o' it," he cackled.
Their combined energies disrupted the storm. As the danger dissipated, the Surfer's board caught them both and brought them safely down to the beach. Hanzo's wife ran to him and they embraced, reunited at last. Redbeard limped straight for his boat and set sail. "Me hook's glowing with the power o' time," he yelled. "Count on seein' me again soon, ninja!"
"I will, pirate," Hanzo vowed, holding up his katana. It, too, had been super-charged by the time storm. "There is nowhere you can go, in all of creation, where I cannot follow." He cleaved the air in front of him, creating a rift in reality. "You must go, my friends," he said to the Squad, "and rebuild your damaged city." He pulled down his mask and smiled at his wife. "The rebuilding I needed to do... of my heart... has finally been achieved."
----------
Kings of Time #2
Welcome to the future.
The year 3011 had once been a haven of advanced technology, peace and prosperity. Through the greed and selfishness of two villains, it had been transformed into a hideous patchwork of cogs, gears and ice. Frozen towers jutted out of the ground, linked by clockwork bridges and steampunk vehicles. The citizens lived in "slave pits", released only when their masters required service. Hideous mutations and robots guarded the streets, presided over by Garbage - the flawed prototype of Gadget. While the crash test dummy loved to be pulled apart, Garbage liked to pull other things to pieces.
Upon the tallest point of this unhappy world sat its unhappiest inhabitants. Batman, still frozen in ice, had been mounted on a wall as decoration. The Mayor of Super Hero City was also on ice, locked within the freezing chamber. But most miserable of all were Clock King and Mr Freeze. Their accomplices foiled, their time storms disrupted and their plans ruined, the villains had no choice but to share their far future kingdom. Their "victory" did not, as a result, even remotely resemble the dreams that had inspired their "master scheme". And so they bickered endlessly.
The Flash learned all of this during a super-speed recon. By vibrating his body, he was able to stay invisible and intangible. He wanted to free Batman but knew he couldn't without alerting the entire palace. Instead he returned to his Justice League allies who were hiding, with Gadget, in the alleyways of the depressing city. Aquaman was trying to keep the android's spirits up by punching and kicking him, but nothing could bring a smile to Gadget's face. "This used to be such a happy place," he said mournfully.
"And it will be again," Green Lantern said. "I have a plan."
A few minutes later, Flash took another intangible high-speed run through the palace. This time he left behind a present: Gadget's head. The android started mimicking Clock King and Mr Freeze. "This is all your fault," he said as Clock King. "If your brain wasn't freeze-dried, you'd have been able to support me properly!" He responded to his own taunt, this time as Mr Freeze. "You are as inefficient and unreliable as a broken watch," he sneered. The incensed villains set upon each other as, outside, the Justice League laid siege to the palace.
Once again, the battle turned into a stalemate. Wonder Woman's quick thinking saved the day: she ensnared one creature with her Golden Lasso and compelled it to speak the truth. The small alien creature revealed it was terrified of Garbage, and was doing evil only to save itself. Diana had Flash target Garbage and pull him to pieces at super-speed. The grateful alien then revealed his colleagues' weaknesses to the League, allowing them to triumph.
The team stormed the palace. Wonder Woman shattered Batman's icy prison with a single punch, while Superman's heat vision thawed out the Mayor. The battle between Clock King and Mr Freeze, meanwhile, was raging out of control. Their competing blasts totalled the time machine, sparking a chain reaction. Flash snagged the villains and Gadget's head, and everyone took cover behind Green Lantern's shield as the infernal device exploded!
Time went crazy. Dinosaurs, aliens, cowboys and knights faded in and out of existence. A tear in the sky provided glimpses of Super Hero City; its people were fleeing in terror from similar menaces. Gadget took the lead. "Grab all the time machine pieces you can find and install them in me," he yelled over the din. "Maybe I can interface with it and stop this craziness!" The Justice League worked quickly to put his idea into action. When Gadget rebooted, something totally unexpected happen. He rose into the very centre of the storm, pulsing with time energy!
"Gadget, my brave friend," Aquaman called. "You can't contain it alone! Transmit it into our bodies as well. Even if it costs our lives, reality will be safe!"
A dreamy look crossed Gadget's synthetic features. "That won't be necessary," he said, smiling at long last. "I can see all of time right now, from the very beginning to the very end. And I know precisely who can help me." He made a gesture with his hands and, amazingly, the rest of the Mysterious Seven appeared by his side!
The time-displaced heroes worked as one, absorbing the time storm into their empowered possessions. Club, sword, cape, top hat, cowboy hat and quiver, combined with Gadget's artificial body, sucked up all the chaotic power. The Justice League and the Mayor peered through the closing rift in time to see Super Hero City safe from harm. Around them, reality reshaped and wiped most of the Clock King/Mr Freeze empire. Only the clockwork palace remained.
The Mysterious Seven floated down to join their super friends. "That was magnificent," Escorpion breathed. "If it is to be our last adventure, mi amigos, it was a tremendous way to bid our team farewell."
"It doesn't have to be the end," Batman said. "You seven worked together, across time and space, to end a menace that was too great for all the city's heroes. We're the heroes of Earth, but you have become the heroes of all time."
And so the Mysterious Seven made a vow. Each would return to his respective time and place, battling whatever evil crossed his path. Gadget would make his home in the clockwork palace and continue to monitor all of creation - from one end to the other. And so when great menaces arose, the greatest champions of history would would use their power items to travel to each other's side and deliver justice as only the Mysterious Seven could!
The two teams bid farewell to each other and returned to their proper places in time. Gadget freed his scientist creators from the palace's slave pit and favoured them with a gigantic smile. "We have a lot of work to do," he said, "and I couldn't be happier!"
-----THE END-----
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
LJ promised me a grand adventure and she well and truly delivered. We started playing this game on Thursday - the beginning of our mutual holiday - and only finished it yesterday afternoon. Along the way, LJ incorporated all the characters in her collection, a bunch of different locations and some noodle-bending time-travel physics. And she crafted it in the form of a sequel to last year's Storm of Time crossover, meaning the Mysterious Seven were back in action!
If you have even half as much fun reading this (and checking out the photos) as I did assisting the kidlet in her flights of fantasy, then you're in for a brilliant experience. And if DC's "soft reboot" plans are driving you nuts, read on to find a haven where comic book adventures are done right...
Kings of Time #0
A fairy tale
Once upon a time, there was a businessman and a bureaucrat. The businessman was the sort of fellow who worried all the time, especially about his company. He worried that, if he wasn't careful, he could lose everything he'd built. And so he lived by a rigorous schedule. The bureaucrat advised him to slow down, take things less to heart, and relax. He told the businessman to take his coffee break five minutes later than usual, just to prove "the world won't end". The businessman tried it, only to watch vital paperwork blow away in the summer breeze. It was the start of a chain-reaction that saw him audited, bankrupted and ruined. He was left penniless, consumed by his anger with the bureaucrat.
That public servant went on to become the Mayor of Super Hero City. The broken businessman, meanwhile, went on to become the insidious, malevolent villain known as the Clock King.
Seven months ago...
"Are you sure about this plan?" the tall man asked.
"Of course, my friend, of course," Clock King assured his friend. "You can trust me as you would trust a tightly-wound timepiece. Into the freezing chamber you go and, when the time is right, I shall wake you. On that fateful day, all our dreams will come true."
The tall man nodded and stepped into the small, glass-lined chamber. Clock King threw a large blue switch, causing the device to fill with super-cold gas. The chamber's occupant dropped immediately into suspended animation as the Clock King smiled. The plan was running precisely to schedule. "All I require is patience," he told himself. "When the time is right, Batman shall be defeated... the Mayor will suffer the fate he so richly deserves... and you and I will control every tick of the clock."
There was a loud knock on the door. "Clock King!" the Red Skull yelled. "It is time to execute our master plan! Are you ready?"
Clock King looked back toward the freezing chamber. "More than ready," he smiled coolly.
----------
Kings of Time #1
The weathermen had predicted a week of sunshine and, to the Mayor of Super Hero City, that meant one thing: time for a parade! He called the SHC police department together to discuss plans for his "hooray for summer" march. Every time he turned his back, however, it seemed like the person he'd just been talking to disappeared. All of a sudden, the Mayor found himself without any form of police escort... and, instead, alone with the Clock King! The villain had slipped between seconds to eliminate the Mayor's bodyguards!
The Mayor ran, screaming for help, but he didn't get far. Clock King, with his ability to speed-and-slow the flow of time, cut him off at every turn. Just as he reached for the Mayor, sneering about time having "run out", the Batmobile flew around the corner! Batman drove his amazing vehicle between Clock King and the Mayor and demanded the bad guy stand down. Grinning, Clock King pulled a fast fade - only to reappear on the opposite side of the Batmobile and take off with the Mayor!
Batman gave chase, following Clock King to a warehouse on the outskirts of town. In his haste, he forgot one thing: Clock King is a master planner. An unseen landmine shredded the Batmobile's rear front tyres and it flipped over. Batman freed himself and crept inside the warehouse. In a locked room he found a cryogenic chamber - and it looked like there was someone inside. Fearing it was the Mayor, Batman worked quickly to deactivate the device. The figure inside thawed... and Batman found himself staring into the cold, emotionless eyes of Mr Freeze!
With a single chilling blast, Mr Freeze put Batman on ice. He loaded the snap-frozen hero into the chamber as Clock King and his hostage, the Mayor, entered. The Mayor was already upset, but seeing Batman defeated pushed him over the line into anger. He then became furious when Clock King drew back a curtain and revealed his secret weapon.
"That's a piece of Doctor Doom's time machine!" he gasped. "Clock King, you can't be serious. That infernal contraption almost destroyed not only the world, but all of history. You mustn't use it!"
"I will succeed where Doom failed," Clock King promised. "My colleague and I have planned this operation down to the second."
"Our patience is glacial," Mr Freeze agreed.
"This refitted, refurbished device will make us the kings of time," Clock King said. "I will rule the future, because my organisational skills will mesh with the technology that's sure to be there. Mr Freeze will take over the past, turning it into a permanent Ice Age so he can live freely without his suit." He leaned in close to the Mayor. "You and Batman will be left alive long enough to see us triumph," he sneered. "After that, the two of you will be referred to only in the past tense."
He activated the time machine, and the heavens screamed.
Meanwhile, the time-muddled police officers were trying to figure out where the Mayor had gone. Above them, the skies tore open as a time storm formed over the city. From out its roiling, thunderous clouds fell a menagerie of robotic, cybernetic and monstrous organisms from Earth's distant future. The police scattered and did the only sensible thing - they called in the Justice League!
Superman and his colleagues raced to the scene, accompanied by an expert adviser. Gadget, the futuristic crash-test dummy, and his Mysterious Seven team-mates had been visiting Hero Headquarters when the call came in. "They're definitely from my era," he said as the League moved to attack. "They're super-strong, super-tough and super-brainless. Hit 'em hard!"
Through team work and clever-thinking, the League managed to beat back the monsters. Aquaman and Wonder Woman had particular success combining the fire engine's water hoses with a blast from a petrol pump. Just as it seemed the League would triumph, the time storm flared again. Seven thick, pulsating bolts of lightning shot out of the dark clouds. Six arced through the red skies and struck different parts of Hero Headquarters. The seventh stabbed down between the League and its foes... and, when the dust cleared, they were gone.
Captain Fanzone grabbed his radio and called Hero Headquarters. There was no answer. His face sagged as he realised every single one of Earth's defenders... the only beings capable of stopping the time storm... had vanished.
----------
Kings of Time: Avengers
A moment earlier, the Avengers had been in Hero Headquarters. A moment later...
"Who planted cactus in Hulk's room?" Hulk bellowed.
The Avengers weren't in Super Hero City anymore. They were in the Old West; more specifically, the small town once guarded by their friend Zeke Arizona. "Never thought I'd see this dusty 'ol homestead again," the cowboy sniffed, feeling a mite sentimental. "Wonder how much time's passed since I left?"
That, Ant-Man explained, was the least of their worries. The time storm, he theorised, had zeroed in not on the mansion but on each member of the Mysterious Seven. "Seeing you were all in different rooms at the time," he said to Zeke, "it's likely our friends have been scattered all throughout history, with time storms breaking out above them." He told the Avengers they had to be very careful, as any actions they took in the past could alter the future - and their home.
The heroes clad themselves in discarded clothes from a nearby barn and, following Zeke's lead, made their way into town. The place seemed deserted... until the bartender came running over, hollering Zeke's name. "Sheriff," he cried, "where ya been the past two days? All the townsfolk have gone plum loco!" He skidded to a halt when he saw the Hulk. "Land's sakes... why's this here fella all green?"
Zeke hurried over to keep the bartender on track. The older man led them into his bar, where the town's entire population stood staring at the same spot on a wall. "They've been doin' that fer days," he sighed. Iron Man's discrete scan revealed nothing unusual, but Thor smelled magic in the air.
"Tarnation," Zeke spat. "Poisanna must be back in town." He explained that, in this era, his worst enemy was "the wicked witch of the Old West". "She steals money from the bank to buy things for her potions and spells," he said. "She's the first witch in America, and she doesn't take kindly to ordinary folk."
"This country wasn't built on enslaved minds," Captain America said. "Let's find this witch and teach her the meanings of liberty and justice!"
Outside, someone cackled. "I know what those words mean, stranger," Poisanna screeched, soaring through the saloon doors on her broomstick. "And they're a pain on my ears!" She landed on the balcony and was joined by two familiar faces - Clock King and Mr Freeze. "They've promised me the whole county in exchange for destroying you," she said, "but I can't do that." She gestured to the townsfolk, who suddenly turned savage. "So my new pets will do it for me!"
Zeke and the Avengers dared not fight too hard for fear of injuring innocent people. Hulk gave it away almost instantly, leaping for Mr Freeze instead. The cold villain managed to partially freeze Thor before having to content with the jade giant. The other heroes resorted to trickery to end the bar-room brawl. Hawkeye made great use of the liquor cabinet, topping his arrows with corks so he could drop townsfolk non-lethally.
Iron Man moved to intercept Clock King, but the villain would have none of it. "Time for reinforcements," he declared, waving his scepter. Another time storm flared and, in a blinding flash, Doctor Doom and the Marvel villains appeared in the bar. "Save your inefficient questions for another time," Clock King snapped. "Kill all your worst enemies or I will leave you stranded in this backwards world forever!"
"Finally," Hulk roared, "someone Hulk can smash!"
Disoriented by unexpected time-travel, Doom and his cronies fared poorly. Disgusted, CLock King and Mr Freeze beat a hasty retreat back into the time-stream. Zeke struggled to stop Poisanna, but the Black Panther had a plan. He couldn't use a Vibranium weapon, for doing so would disrupt the course of history. Instead, he loaded a Vibranium bullet into one of Zeke's guns and threw it to the cowboy. The futuristic projectile shattered the jewel on Poisanna's hat, ending her hold on the townsfolk.
Zeke grabbed the flying broomstick and ran outside. "If them storms like me so much," he whooped, "I reckon I'm the one to lasso and break this ornery mare."
"Zeke, wait, you can't!" Ant-Man cried. But it was too late. Every inch the hero, Zeke rode the broom like a bucking bronco up into the storm, hoping its magic would disrupt the storm. It did and, with a hideous, world-ending crack, the time storm ended. The Avengers watched sadly as Zeke's hat fluttered down out of the sky, landing at their feet. "He was the greatest of us all," Cap said solemnly.
"Thanks, Cap, that means a lot," Zeke quipped.
The Avengers turned to find the cowboy smiling. He was a little banged up, a little bruised, but altogether none the worse for wear. Although the Hulk's bear-hug did knock the wind out of him. When Ant-Man went to hand the hat to Zeke, it started glowing with time-travel energy. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but your hat is now a time machine," Ant-Man said incredulously. "You'll be able to send us home, and to travel back and forth between our time and yours whenever you like."
"Sounds like a good deal to me," Zeke grinned. "Now let's get you fellas home so's you can take down that ticking varmit and I can set about rebuilding this here town of mine."
----------
Kings of Time: The Brave and the Bold
Professor Ryan Choi, aka The Atom, was beside himself. "There's a time storm above us - don't touch anything," he screamed. "We're in Earth's distant past! Henry Ugh Jr's time! You could alter history by doing something as tiny as bending a blade of grass! A drop of your sweat could alter the course of human evolution! And whatever you do, don't..."
Plastic Man sneezed.
"We're doomed," Atom wailed. His shrieks attracted the local wildlife's attention. Two ferocious-looking dinosaurs stampeded toward them. The heroes moved to defend themselves but Atom stopped them. "Damaging these creatures could change history! It's better we get eaten that ruin our future!"
"Silly Atom," Henry tutted. "Us no get eaten. These am my pets. Sit, boys!" At his command the dinosaurs screeched to a halt, sat back on their hind legs and begged like obedient dogs. "See? All am good!"
While Atom muttered darkly about the fossil record and contradicting paleontology, the others got their bearings. Guy Gardner looked up. "Another time storm, like the one back home," he groused. "Terrific."
"The time-lightning must have homed in on Ugh and the rest of the Mysterious Seven," Atom hypothesised. "It took them back to their own eras, and dragged us along for the ride. The real question is who started this latest time storm, and why?"
Blue Beetle tapped him on the shoulder. "I think that'll have to wait, Professor," he said. "We've got incoming!"
From out the clouds swooped a one-eyed, razor-toothed, battle-armoured alien on a flying motorcycle. The hideous beast laughed and screamed as it fired death rays at the heroes. Every blast they dodged dug into the ground, causing giant rock monsters to rise up and join the assault! All the heroes were shocked... all save Henry Ugh Jr.
"It am Choking Hazard, my worst enemy," the caveman growled. "Him what you would call a 'space biker'. Like to ride around here, scare people from my village," He hefted his club and leaped aboard one of the dinosaurs. "Him reason all other dinosaurs die out. Me take him down hard!"
Atom watched him ride away in sheer disbelief. "An alien killed the dinosaurs? An alien? I... I... urrgh..." His genius-level intellect overwhelmed, Atom fainted.
"I think he'll be a lot more use to us that way," Gardner sniffed. "Let's take these turkeys down!"
Plastic Man entangled the granite monster while Firestorm turned him back into a rock ("I think we just invented Transformers!"). Green Arrow and Blue Beetle kept the magma-spewing monster busy while B'wana Beast caused it to merge with one of Ugh's dinosaurs ("I think I just invented dragons!"). Gardner and Red Tornado shredded Choking Hazard's bike, leaving him easy prey for Ugh. The biker turned toward a nearby tree and yelled: "this wasn't part of the deal, you guys! Help me!"
The tree shimmered - it was just a hologram - and revealed Clock King and Mr Freeze. "This is the world I wish to rule," Mr Freeze intoned. "I will not let it be saved by enemies who will not be born for centuries." He nodded to Clock King who brandished his sceptre. The time storm flared and tore the sky open, bringing forth the Joker, Gentlemen Ghost and the Black Manta! Offered the same "deal" as Doom and his team, the villains moved swiftly - and took down Firestorm, Beetle and Arrow!
Thanks to the element of surprise and the brand-new Jokermobile, the villains took the upper-hand in the battle. Then, in a thunder of feet and a hooting of deranged lunacy, Atom rode a dinosaur into the fray! "This world makes no scientific sense whatsoever," he babbled, charging toward Clock King. "It's sheer lunacy, and so madness is the only sane response! Whoopee!"
"I know crazy," Joker said admiringly, "and mister, that is crazy!" His distraction allowed Guy Gardner time to recover and rally. His colleagues soon followed suit. Red Tornado struck the decisive blow. He gathered up the hot prehistoric winds and shaped them into a single tight funnel, which he directed straight at Mr Freeze's helmet. The super-cooled glass shattered, and the villains fell into retreat. They vanished in a flash of time-travel, but the time storm remained overhead.
Henry knew what to do. He climbed onto Red Tornado's back and they flew into the madness. The android held the storm at bay long enough for Henry to shove his club into its centre. There was an explosion, then a great sucking noise, as the tempest died out. Blue Beetle zipped up and caught his friends, lowering them safely back to the ground. As they celebrated, they noticed Henry's club had started glowing with the power of the time storm.
"Of course it's a time-travelling caveman club," Atom giggled hysterically. "It would have to be now, wouldn't it? You can't have a scientifically anachronistic past full of dinosaurs, space bikers, dragons and rock monsters without a time travelling caveman club - it just wouldn't be right!" And then he fainted again.
"Statement: hopefully, once we have returned to our era," Red Tornado observed, "the professor will believe his experiences to be no more than a bad dream."
"No bad dream for me," Henry smiled. "Have home and dinosaurs back, have way of coming to see friends in future. All Henry's dreams come true!"
----------
Kings of Time: Star Wars
Chicago, the mid-1920s. One tough town, festering with crime and corruption. A shot rang out in the gloom of the time storm; a bank alarm was silenced, and a gang of toughs ran through the night clutching their ill-gotten gains. Before they could get far they were set upon by a giant, ferocious beast!
"Keep them busy, Chewbacca," the Illusioneer said, preparing his magic wand. "I know these hoodlums and, worse, who they work for. I need a moment to ready the correct spell to send them back from whence they came before..."
"Before we go looking for the Millennium Falcon," Han Solo interrupted, leading Luke, Leia and the droids out into the street. "The ship was right next to us when that time storm zapped us back to your era. I hate being away from her... anything could have happened."
R2-D2 beeped happily and C3PO translated. "Artoo says the Falcon is nearby," he exclaimed. "Right overhead, in fact."
"Overhead?" the others asked. On instinct, each hero dodged behind cover - just in time to avoid a barrage of turbolaser fire! The Falcon had been commandered by a malevolent force, which rose from the cockpit like a doomsday spectre. On first glance it appeared to be a typical 1920s gangster but, upon looking closer, Luke and his friends could see a pale complexion, a widow's peak haircut and blood-sucking fangs. It was a vampire!
"Lord Bludcreep," the Illusioneer hissed. "I knew these were your mobsters."
"Being out of the game for a few weeks hasn't hurt your memory, eh?" the vampire chuckled. "We've missed you round these parts, top-hat. Boys: give him the welcome he deserves!"
One mobster asked Princess Leia to be his moll. She used the Force to toss him in a trash can. Luke used the Jedi mind trick on two gangsters who "volunteered" to return the stolen funds to the bank. Chewie and Han bowled through the rest while the Illusioneer tangled with Bludcreep. Artoo and Threepio, meanwhile, made for the Falcon's controls. Artoo almost had the vampire's control of the ship broken when a blast of freezing cold engulfed him!
Clock King and Mr Freeze emerged from the hidden smuggler's compartment and threew the droids out. "Bludcreep," Clock King yelled. "If you don't 'take down' these 'mugs', our arrangement will be cancelled. My colleague will freeze Chicago as well as the rest of your world, instead of leaving you a city to rule. Move quickly, time is money!"
Bludcreep pushed the Illusioneer to one side and cast magic toward his goons. As a crowd of onlookers watched in horror, the mobsters became monsters!
As the battle raged, an unlikely hero emerged. Fighting down his natural fear, C3PO picked his way through the ruckus and crept back aboard the ship. Making sure to dodge the villains, he plugged himself into the Falcon's targeting systems. Now in control of the turbolasers, the protocol droid engaged in some gun-barrel negotiations. "Attention everyone," he announced falteringly. "I am C3PO, human/cyborg relations, and I am a terrible shot. I cannot guarantee anyone will survive once I start firing, so those who value their lives should evacuate the immediate area. Thank you."
The monster-mobsters fled, followed closely by Bludcreep. Clock King and Mr Freeze slipped away, but their time-machine exit worsened the storm overhead. The Illusioneer cast a spell of forgetfulness over the bystanders, then he and Han boarded the ship. Remembering what the Doctor had done to the last time storm, the Illusioneer climbed onto the Falcon's radar dish as Han took them up into the skies.
The magician cast a spell, seeking to funnel the storm's energies into his enchanted hat. It worked, but not for the reasons he thought: already laced with chronal energy, the hat became super-charged and transformed into a time-travelling device! The time storm had ended, the Rebels had a way of getting home and the Illusioneer's two worlds - past and future - were forever connected.
"Have you need of me, simply call," the Illusioneer said, bidding his friends farewell. "But for now, I have a motley crew of criminals to round up!"
----------
Kings of Time: Transformers
"Someone needs to turn the lights down," Bumblebee grimaced. "That bulb is shining like the sun!"
"Uh," Bulkhead ventured, "I think that is the sun, little buddy."
"Oh. Well, that explains it. So where are we?"
Escorpion Azul sighed happily. "We are home," he grinned. "Mi casa, my village in Mexico. At long last I have returned to la raza! Oh my friends, I know you are stranded here with me but, until the storm overhead breaks, I will show you such hospitality! My village wants for nothing. I will treat you with thrilling matches, the finest food..."
"Zombies?" Ratchet asked.
The Autobots looked where he pointed. In the distance, a zombie was chasing the residents of Escorpion's town. "Looks like a job for the fastest thing on wheels," Bumblebee beamed. "Back in a sec, guys!"
"Mi amigo, wait..." Escorpion said, but it was too late. The smallest Autobot had zoomed away, thrusting himself between the citizens and the monster. Bumblebee transformed and peppered the zombie with blasts from his stinger. The beast, unaffected, grabbed the yellow mech with his dirty hands and effortlessly slammed him into the ground!
"Guys, help!" Bumblebee wailed. "This guy is too dumb to understand he's supposed to lose to me!"
The Autobots came to the rescue but, before they could attack, Escorpion stepped in the way. "Naughty zombie," he growled, waggling a finger at the monster. "Very, very bad! I know I've been away, but that's no reason to go scaring all these nice people. You go back to the locker room, right now, or there'll be no championship match for you tonight! Vamanos!" The zombie's bottom lip quivered as it sobbed and sulked its way toward a nearby bull ring.
"That made no sense," Jazz winced.
"It's lucha libre," Escorpion grinned. "We may be rudos and technicos in the ring, but backstage we're all friends!" He pointed to the bull ring. "Come, we must see to the zombie. He is my toughest opponent but he never attacks the townspeople. I fear someone has put strange ideas in what is left of his head."
As the heroes entered the bull ring, its enormous doors slammed shut behind them! Clock King was sitting on a giant wooden throne nearby. Escorpion's people had been tied into the bleachers, the zombie was in the ring and - worst of all - the Decepticons were in the ring! "No plan is so complete that it cannot be finessed," Clock King sneered. "Given the problems I have encountered at other points in the time stream..."
"Our friends must have been transported as well," Optimus said to his mechs. "The weather pattern above us is a time storm, similar to the one we faced before. And it has been created by this human's greed and foolishness!"
"... I am no longer prepared to leave matters to chance. Decepticons: destroy them and I shall return you to your own time. Fail, and it will be a long time before you see another gas station!"
Escorpion Azul strode into the ring. "You are more monster than the zombie," he spat at Clock King. "We will fight your servants, Senor Tick-Tock, but we shall do so with honour. We will battle them in lucha libre!"
Though they were hostages, the crowd nonetheless thrilled to an unprecedented series of matches. Jazz's bout with Soundwave turned into a handicap match when the Decepticon ejected Ravage and Laserbeak to gain the advantage. A well-timed run-in by Grimlock saved the day, and the Dinobot went on to crush Frenzy in a (literal) squash match. Ratchet stomped a mud-hole in Starscream, while Bumblebee and Bulkhead proved themselves a better tag-team than Barricade and Blitzwing.
In the first of the two main events, Optimus Prime took on Megatron. The Autobot leader had the match well in hand until his eternal enemy waffled him with an enormous steel chair! Optimus barely avoided the pinfall. He surprised Megatron - and everyone else watching - by pulling off a perfect copy of John Cena's "Attitude Adjustment" finishing move for the win! Finally, the battle between Escorpion and the zombie climaxed with the masked man flying off the top turnbuckle and landing his patented big splash to claim victory. "The rudos are vanquished!" he exclaimed.
Furious, Clock King transported both himself and the Decepticons away, despite his threats. Their departure whipped the time storm into a time tornado, which bore down on the village with murderous force. The Autobots were tossed in all directions but Escorpion stood tall. He wrapped himself in his cape and marched into the centre of the maelstrom, wrestling the chaotic forces into submission. The amazing show of strength altered the fabric of his cape, weaving chronal energy into his threads and giving the champion the ability to travel in time.
It also left him on the ground, badly injured, just seconds from death.
Ratchet rushed to help him, but soon realised he could do nothing. When all seemed lost, the zombie stepped forward. It reached out with one hand, imparting a fragment of its undying life-essence to its greatest rival. Escorpion came back to life and the Autobots celebrated. Ratchet was stunned, but Escorpion just smiled. "It's lucha libre," he said weakly. "We may be rudos and technicos in the ring, but backstage we're all friends."
The townspeople, now freed, hailed their returned hero. With a sweep of his cape, Escorpion opened a portal to send the Autobots home. "We will see each other again, my friends," he said, helping the zombie wave goodbye, "the next time adventure brings us together!"
----------
Kings of Time: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The riders were heavily armed, and their horses armoured. They tore through the forest in search of their quarry, ignoring the heinous wind and rain generated by the time storm. They quested, but were unlikely to find their target. Patrick, the Forest Hunter, had already taken to the bushes to escape the Duke's men. By his side were four very unlikely allies.
"Remind me why we're hiding from these turkeys again?" Raphael snarled.
Donatello sighed. "C'mon, Raph, we've all time-travelled enough to know the drill. We blend in, we follow the directions of our local ally, we find a way home."
"Right now, the best thing we can do is follow Patrick's lead," Leonardo added.
"Sheer brilliance from our 'fearless leader'," Raph growled. "First sign of trouble, he passes the reins to someone else. Wonderful!"
Patrick silenced them with a wave. "Our task here is two-fold," he said. "We must get into the castle, and we must steal the Duke's gold. What you don't know about me, my friends, is that I am what you would call a 'secret agent' - a spy for our real, exiled king. By giving his treasures to the peasants, we bankrupt the Duke and ready England for our lord's return." He looked down at the ground and smiled, judging the time was right. "Wait here for my signal," he said as he ran out of the bushes toward the riders. "What ho, villains?" he laughed.
A master swashbuckler, Patrick was more than a match for his heavily-armed foes. As a result they didn't play fair and one snuck around behind the hunter. "Patrick, dude, watch your six," Michaelangelo cried from the trees. Before his brothers could stop him, the youngest of the Turtles had joined the battle with a mighty "cowabunga!".
The riders were soon unconscious but their leader - the captain of the guard - managed to escape. The Turtles came out of hiding, and Leo bonked Mikey gently in the head. "Sorry, dudes," the errant ninja said sheepishly. "Got a little hyped up there."
Patrick hit upon a replacement plan. By the time the captain returned with reinforcements, the hunter and the Turtles had surrendered. The defeated riders were guarding them as well as their groggy, somewhat-concussed brains allowed. To Patrick's surprise, one of the reinforcements was the Duke himself - Livingstone Skullman, the Black Knight! The Turtles were even more shocked to discover that, beneath his helmet, Duke Skullman was a skeleton warrior!
"Oh, I get it," Mikey sniggered. "Livingstone Skullman, living skull. I see what they did there!"
Much to Raph's disgust, the heroes allowed themselves to be marched back to Skullman's dungeon and locked up. The guard captain took Patrick's bow, but he did not react. Once inside the cells, the hunter triggered a secret escape panel. "I know all the tunnels in this place," he said. He, Raph, Mikey and Donatello headed for the treasure room; Leo decided to scout the throne room and "gather some intel".
It was a wise move. He found Skullman meeting with his "grand wizards", whom Leo instantly recognised as Clock King and Mr Freeze. All of a sudden, a lot of things made sense to the Turtles' leader. He listened as Skullman told the "wizards" of his prisoners, and watched their panic. Clock King was very upset to learn there were heroes in the forest, and Mr Freeze seemed angry with his partner. They ordered Skullman to send more guards to the dungeon; Leo knew he had to move quickly.
He crept back through the tunnels, passing over the banquet hall. Below, he saw the massed guards charge toward his brothers, Patrick and a wheelbarrow full of gold. Leo dropped from the ceiling to catch the villains in a pincher movement. Upon hearing the noise, Duke Skullman ran in and the battle began in earnest.
The guards were well-trained, but no match for the ninja brothers. Raph had the most trouble; the guard captain was almost as good with the bow as Patrick was. As Raph leaped toward him, he loosed a volley of arrows. Only split-second timing allowed the Turtle to turn at the right time and catch the arrows in his shell instead of his head. The captain didn't fare nearly as well.
Raph recovered Patrick's weapons and tossed them over, but the hero didn't need them. He used the wheelbarrow to parry, block and otherwise frustrate Skullman's attacks. The skeleton hissed and spat as Patrick knocked loose more pieces of his enchanted armour. With no magic to hold his bones together, Skullman clattered into a pile on the banquet hall floor. "Curse you, Forest Hunter," his head raged. "I will have my revenge!"
Leo dashed back toward the throne room. Clock King and Mr Freeze had vanished, leaving in their wake another tear in time. It pulsed with the same energy as the time storm above, turning the castle into a death-trap of lightning, wind and rain.
"Patrick," Don yelled over the indoor storm. "Your body has stored-up time travel energy inside it! You can plug the storm if you get close enough!"
The Forest Hunter grabbed two discarded shields for protection. Then he tied a length of stretchy vine to the ends of two arrows and fired, making a slingshot. He hurtled into the breach and it sealed as he sailed through. The storm's power and abilities soaked into his quiver. "Welcome to the time-travelling jet-set," Don smirked. "Make sure to keep track of your frequent flyer miles!"
Patrick and the Turtles gathered up the treasure and went back into the forest, headed for the headquarters of the rebellion. Patrick wanted to introduce his "future friends" to his fellow spies, but Leo declined. "I think we've done enough damage to history for one day," he said, looking meaningfully at Mikey. "It's better we use your quiver to get home right away."
The valiant warriors bid each other farewell, knowing their paths would inevitably cross again.
----------
Kings of Time: Super Hero Squad
Hanzo Hattori had walked through time, conquered monsters and demons, and never once gone to his knees before a foe. Yet as the time storm moved away from him and into the sky, he sank into the soft beach sand and wept. After years of displacement, of loss, he was home.
"This is Okinawa," Iron Fist said reverently.
"I don't believe it," Wolverine breathed.
"Question," Spider-Man interrupted. "What's an 'Okinawa' and why does it make Logan smile?"
While the Super Hero Squad got its bearings, Hanzo ran toward his tiny fishing village. He wanted nothing more than to see his beloved wife and family. To his horror, the village was deserted. He kept on running until he found them... fighting for their lives against Captain Redbeard's pirate crew! The time storm had returned the rapscallion of the waves to this era as well!
Warrior's fury washed over the ninja as he entered the battle, wielding his sword with devastating skill. Moments later he was joined by the Squad, who weren't about to let fears for the time stream stop them helping the innocent.
As Wolverine deposited the last of the crew back in their boat, Hanzo fought Redbeard one-to-one. "It's good to be back home, eh ninja?" the captain said, "I'm glad ye returned as well as I. Pillaging this island o' yers wouldn't a been half as much fun without you t' clash with!"
"You'll do no more pillaging, ya scurvy dog," yelled an unfamiliar voice. "This island now be the property o' Captain Eight-Legs and the most Sinister crew on the Seven Seas!"
Everyone stopped and turned... then their jaws hit the floor. Doctor Octopus and the rest of the Sinister Six were in a pirate ship. They were dressed in pirate clothes. They even had cutlasses and eye-patches. And they were attacking the island!
"Okay," Spidey deadpanned, looking at Wolverine, "the Six have officially lost their marbles."
The Squad engaged their long-time enemies. Silver Surfer, meanwhile, took to the skies. He hoped to use his Power Cosmic to tame the time storm and spare Okinawa any more damage. In the centre of the storm, however, was Clock King - and he was enraged. "More blasted heroes," he wailed. "It seems as if every last inch of time is filled with them! Even seeding the past with villains has no effect! If the past cannot be conquered, then I will rule the future uncontested!" He faded away, creating a bubble of chronal energy that burst and sent the Surfer hurtling toward the ground.
As Pepper Potts tended to the fallen hero, Hanzo grabbed Redbeard by the shoulder. "We may always fight over this island," he said, "but surely we can agree it should not be lost to these abominations."
"Aye, ye speak the truth," Redbeard agreed. "Let this so-called Captain Eight-Legs taste the steel of a real pirate and a real ninja!"
One by one, the addled Six fell to the Squad. And, one by one, Doc Ock's arms were damaged or severed by Redbeard and Hanzo. The ninja looked up at the worsening time storm and knew what he had to do. He coiled one of the defeated Ock's arms into a giant spring and propelled himself into the heart of the tempest. Shockingly, Redbeard copied and followed. "Ain't nowhere I trust ye to go without me there ta be a part o' it," he cackled.
Their combined energies disrupted the storm. As the danger dissipated, the Surfer's board caught them both and brought them safely down to the beach. Hanzo's wife ran to him and they embraced, reunited at last. Redbeard limped straight for his boat and set sail. "Me hook's glowing with the power o' time," he yelled. "Count on seein' me again soon, ninja!"
"I will, pirate," Hanzo vowed, holding up his katana. It, too, had been super-charged by the time storm. "There is nowhere you can go, in all of creation, where I cannot follow." He cleaved the air in front of him, creating a rift in reality. "You must go, my friends," he said to the Squad, "and rebuild your damaged city." He pulled down his mask and smiled at his wife. "The rebuilding I needed to do... of my heart... has finally been achieved."
----------
Kings of Time #2
Welcome to the future.
The year 3011 had once been a haven of advanced technology, peace and prosperity. Through the greed and selfishness of two villains, it had been transformed into a hideous patchwork of cogs, gears and ice. Frozen towers jutted out of the ground, linked by clockwork bridges and steampunk vehicles. The citizens lived in "slave pits", released only when their masters required service. Hideous mutations and robots guarded the streets, presided over by Garbage - the flawed prototype of Gadget. While the crash test dummy loved to be pulled apart, Garbage liked to pull other things to pieces.
Upon the tallest point of this unhappy world sat its unhappiest inhabitants. Batman, still frozen in ice, had been mounted on a wall as decoration. The Mayor of Super Hero City was also on ice, locked within the freezing chamber. But most miserable of all were Clock King and Mr Freeze. Their accomplices foiled, their time storms disrupted and their plans ruined, the villains had no choice but to share their far future kingdom. Their "victory" did not, as a result, even remotely resemble the dreams that had inspired their "master scheme". And so they bickered endlessly.
The Flash learned all of this during a super-speed recon. By vibrating his body, he was able to stay invisible and intangible. He wanted to free Batman but knew he couldn't without alerting the entire palace. Instead he returned to his Justice League allies who were hiding, with Gadget, in the alleyways of the depressing city. Aquaman was trying to keep the android's spirits up by punching and kicking him, but nothing could bring a smile to Gadget's face. "This used to be such a happy place," he said mournfully.
"And it will be again," Green Lantern said. "I have a plan."
A few minutes later, Flash took another intangible high-speed run through the palace. This time he left behind a present: Gadget's head. The android started mimicking Clock King and Mr Freeze. "This is all your fault," he said as Clock King. "If your brain wasn't freeze-dried, you'd have been able to support me properly!" He responded to his own taunt, this time as Mr Freeze. "You are as inefficient and unreliable as a broken watch," he sneered. The incensed villains set upon each other as, outside, the Justice League laid siege to the palace.
Once again, the battle turned into a stalemate. Wonder Woman's quick thinking saved the day: she ensnared one creature with her Golden Lasso and compelled it to speak the truth. The small alien creature revealed it was terrified of Garbage, and was doing evil only to save itself. Diana had Flash target Garbage and pull him to pieces at super-speed. The grateful alien then revealed his colleagues' weaknesses to the League, allowing them to triumph.
The team stormed the palace. Wonder Woman shattered Batman's icy prison with a single punch, while Superman's heat vision thawed out the Mayor. The battle between Clock King and Mr Freeze, meanwhile, was raging out of control. Their competing blasts totalled the time machine, sparking a chain reaction. Flash snagged the villains and Gadget's head, and everyone took cover behind Green Lantern's shield as the infernal device exploded!
Time went crazy. Dinosaurs, aliens, cowboys and knights faded in and out of existence. A tear in the sky provided glimpses of Super Hero City; its people were fleeing in terror from similar menaces. Gadget took the lead. "Grab all the time machine pieces you can find and install them in me," he yelled over the din. "Maybe I can interface with it and stop this craziness!" The Justice League worked quickly to put his idea into action. When Gadget rebooted, something totally unexpected happen. He rose into the very centre of the storm, pulsing with time energy!
"Gadget, my brave friend," Aquaman called. "You can't contain it alone! Transmit it into our bodies as well. Even if it costs our lives, reality will be safe!"
A dreamy look crossed Gadget's synthetic features. "That won't be necessary," he said, smiling at long last. "I can see all of time right now, from the very beginning to the very end. And I know precisely who can help me." He made a gesture with his hands and, amazingly, the rest of the Mysterious Seven appeared by his side!
The time-displaced heroes worked as one, absorbing the time storm into their empowered possessions. Club, sword, cape, top hat, cowboy hat and quiver, combined with Gadget's artificial body, sucked up all the chaotic power. The Justice League and the Mayor peered through the closing rift in time to see Super Hero City safe from harm. Around them, reality reshaped and wiped most of the Clock King/Mr Freeze empire. Only the clockwork palace remained.
The Mysterious Seven floated down to join their super friends. "That was magnificent," Escorpion breathed. "If it is to be our last adventure, mi amigos, it was a tremendous way to bid our team farewell."
"It doesn't have to be the end," Batman said. "You seven worked together, across time and space, to end a menace that was too great for all the city's heroes. We're the heroes of Earth, but you have become the heroes of all time."
And so the Mysterious Seven made a vow. Each would return to his respective time and place, battling whatever evil crossed his path. Gadget would make his home in the clockwork palace and continue to monitor all of creation - from one end to the other. And so when great menaces arose, the greatest champions of history would would use their power items to travel to each other's side and deliver justice as only the Mysterious Seven could!
The two teams bid farewell to each other and returned to their proper places in time. Gadget freed his scientist creators from the palace's slave pit and favoured them with a gigantic smile. "We have a lot of work to do," he said, "and I couldn't be happier!"
-----THE END-----
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF