LJ presents: Storm of Time
Comics are full of great, fun traditions, and one of the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) is the annual summer cross-over. Big heroes, huge villains, impossible odds, mass carnage... and, of course, the introduction of a slew of new, spin-off characters. From Contest of Champions to Blackest Night, fans have long been able to bank on a high-octane popcorn cross-over to speed them through the middle of the year.
As it is in comics, so too in my daughter's imagination.
LJ, stareyednight and I spent last week plotting. Planning. Conjuring up ideas. Working on back-stories and finessing details. It was been our family project - discussed after homework and over dinner - every night. Together, we came up with an entire cast of original characters. Each one is (we think) a cool addition to the games played so far. Over the weekend, all our ideas came to fruition... and, for the first time, one of LJ's amazing adventures comes with photographs!
So read on, true believer, and get ready for the ride of your life as LJ presents the biggest imaginary event of 2010: Storm of Time!
----------
Storm of Time #1
Hanzo Hattori, the time-displaced ninja, had agreed to spar with Leonardo, leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As they faux-battled their way through the park, Hattori shared some of his past. "My only wish is to return to my home in a ancient Japan," he said sadly. "I miss my wife and my children, and I am sure they miss me terribly." Leo learned, to his amazement, that Hattori was the inventor of ninjutsu as well as the long-time enemy of Captain Redbeard, the equally time-displaced pirate. "He tried to steal my wife and daughter from me," Hattori said. "I chased them into the ocean and, as I was about to strike, a terrible storm swept us far away from the coast. When the storm ended, I was here... in your time."
Leo thought on this. "What you need is a time machine," he opined. "I mean, we Turtles have travelled in time before, but that was with this crazy sceptre thing and, well, it broke. But I'm sure Iron Man could whip something up, if we asked him. He's pretty clever."
Before Hattori could reply, the friends heard a noise overhead. Redbeard and his Sky-Pirates, Ballast and Bonny Jane, were flying toward Villainville in their rocket-boat. The ninjas decided to follow... arriving in time to see the pirates attack Doctor Doom, Abomination and MODOK! Redbeard, whose greed knows no bounds, wanted a new sword - the Infinity Sword! Though Ballast's super-strength brought Abomination down, and Bonny Jane's sword was more than a match for MODOK, Doom could not be defeated by mere pirates. As they retreated, the Lord of Latveria swore a terrible oath: he would create a time machine and use it to shoot the pirates back to their own time "and out of my metal-plated business!".
Leo and Hanzo knew what to do. They needed that time machine for themselves. Also, they needed to make sure Doom didn't have it, or else he'd be able to gather up armies from across history to use for his nefarious goals. Returning quickly to Avengers Mansion, the ninjas informed Optimus Prime of the situation. Although his ranks were depleted, as many heroes were off on solo missions, Prime nonetheless drew together a formidable battle group. But, by the time they reached Villainville, Doom had massed his own forces - and almost finished the machine! The result was an epic confrontation between good and evil.
Doom and Iron Man squared off, and their equal-but-opposing attacks sparked a high-energy chain reaction within the time machine. The device exploded, its chronal power vomiting into the stratosphere. The skies above earth turned red, then black, before splitting in two with a thunderous cracking noise. A time storm opened - and, if left unchecked, it would swallow first Earth and then the whole universe! From out the swirling darkness shot six person-shaped bolts of energy, like shooting stars aimed directly at Super Hero City!
Hero and villain alike found themselves trapped in the ruined machine's vicinity, unable to get outside the eye of the maelstrom. Optimus and Iron Man did the only thing they could. They got on their communicators to let their patrolling friends know the situation. Each solo hero was tasked with a most important mission: they were to find the impact sites of the six time travellers and determine whether they were friend... or foe. Doom and Megatron followed suit, ordering their forces to capture the "sky beings" no matter the cost.
Watching the storm from outside, Guy Gardner, Batman, Grimlock, Thor, Bulkhead and Green Arrow heard the call and rushed off to face danger... and excitement!
----------
Storm of Time: Grimlock
The Super Hero City police department had just settled down to lunch when they were buffeted by the winds of the time storm. They ran outside to see what was happening... and thank goodness they did. Just seconds later, one of the six energy bolts ploughed through their police station, scattering bricks everywhere!
From out the blinding light wandered a tall, stocky, long-haired figure. He was wearing an animal skin, carrying a large club... and was very, very confused.
"Hold it right there," Captain Fanzone yelled, drawing his weapon. "Who are you, and why have you wrecked our police station?"
The new arrival scratched his thick brow with a strong finger. "Me am Henry Ugh Jr," he replied in a guttural voice. Glancing around, he looked admiringly at Fanzone's police bike. "Ooo, wheel," he said happily. "Henry's father am inventor of wheel! Henry Ugh Sr make first wheel!" His face darkened. "Then him get run over by it, become first road accident victim. Very sad."
A nervous rookie cop lost his cool and fired off a shot. It bounced harmlessly off Henry's thick, prehistoric hide. But a lack of pain did not equate to a lack of insult - angered, Henry lashed out with his club and knocked the police aside like tenpins. And so when Grimlock, Dinobot commander, arrived seconds later, he thought he had the situation all figured out.
"Hairy man stop hurting Fanzone," he bellowed, charging Henry in dinosaur mode.
"Aargh! Big dinosaur leave Henry alone!" the caveman yelled in reply.
Both stopped dead in their tracks.
"You speak me, Henry's language," the caveman smiled.
"No, you speak me, Grimlock's language!" the Dinobot laughed.
As each dropped his guard, Grimlock fell victim to a heinous sneak attack. Soundwave crashed into him from behind, then ejected Laserbeak and Ravage to chase off the police. The Decepticon communicator focused his attention on Henry. "If you are the traveller Megatron saw fall from the heavens," he droned, "then you shall belong to Megatron. Prepare to be mind-controlled!"
Sonic waves washed over Henry... to no effect. "I do not understand," Soundwave intoned, perplexed. "Mind control is ineffective. It is as if he does not have a mind."
"Neither do me, Grimlock," the Dinobot roared, returning the sneak-attack favour. Henry loped up the side of a building to battle Laserbeak, and the police finally gained some ground against Ravage.
Lasers and flame throwers lit up the storm-darkened skies. Laserbeak was set alight by Grimlock's incendiary breath and crashed, still burning, into the park. "Fire am bad," Henry yelled as he watched. "Henry's brother am inventor of fire! Then him become first fatal burn victim! Henry no let that happen to pretty trees!" He ran to the broken mailbox and beat on it with his club, creating a makeshift alarm that brought the fire department's helicopter to the scene. The last of the flames were extinguished just as Grimlock and the police brought the pain to the Decepticons. Soundwave and Ravage retreated, grabbing the scorched Ravage as they fled.
Fanzone immediately apologised to Henry. "I was wrong about you," he said. "I hate machines, but I think I can find a soft spot in my heart for a heroic caveman."
"Big hero," Grimlock agreed.
"Henry no hero," the new arrival replied sadly. "Henry am failure. Whole family invent stuff, big geniuses. No live to enjoy it, but still do important things. Henry do nothing."
"Well, seeing as this is the future, as far as you're concerned," Fanzone said, "it looks to me like you're the world's first time-traveller. And you lived to tell the tale."
A beaming grin split Henry's dark, matted beard. "Me am do something good," he cried happily. "Me am true member of Ugh family!"
Just then, Grimlock received a static-corrupted call from Optimus Prime. "Situation desperate," it crackled. "Need help immediately. Villains have..." and then it cut off.
"Come, little squishy brother," Grimlock boomed, gesturing to Henry. "We go save weakling Autobots now, like me, Grimlock always have to do! Then maybe dumb Autobots help Henry go home!"
"Me, Henry, help big crunchy brother," the caveman whooped, leaping onto the Dinobot's back. "Day am about to be saved!"
----------
Storm of Time: Thor
Sparkplug and Spike were preparing their petrol station for the lunch rush when the time storm flared to life overhead. They had no time to seek shelter - almost immediately, a blinding flash of light stabbed downward from the heavens and exploded right next to them! Fortunately, the petrol tanks did not catch fire. Stunned and a little dazed, the father-and-son were amazed to see a tall, muscular figure emerge from the eye-straining flash.
He was wearing a red cape, blue tights and a leather belt with an enormous gold buckle. His entire head was covered in a decorative blue-and-red hood, masking everything save his jaw and mouth. And from out that mouth came the words: "Aye, Karumba! Where is the ring? Where are the fans? Where is that blasted rudo who used flash paper against me? I will break him with my Scorpion Deathlock!"
Spike and Sparkplug cowered in fear, as the new arrival was quite clearly a madman. He stalked around their business, shrieking about "rudos" and the "triumph of the tecnicoes". His behaviour would have continued unabated, if not for a second bolt from the sky. This was no time traveller, however - it was the arrival of Thor, God of Thunder!
"Stand down, base villain," Thor ordered. "Thy mischief shall cease, or it wilt be hammer time!"
Beneath his mask, the warrior's eyes narrowed. "Rudo," he hissed. "I can tell by your long, flowing hair. Yours is a mane that shall be taken... by Escorpion Azul!"
The warrior pressed his fists to his enormous belt, and his entire frame seemed to shake and glow with power. Then he charged Thor and, when they collided, the very ground shook! Thor struck again and again, with both fist and Mjolnir. Though his opponent staggered and stumbled, he would not fall. Likewise, the masked man pounded Thor with blow after blow and, at times, locked him in excruciating choke holds and twisting grips. But the Thunder God would not give an inch.
Their struggle, unexpectedly, drew some applause... from the sinister Sportsmaster. Dispatched, by Doom, to recover the sky being, the Champion of Cheating saw a lot of super villain potential in the newcomer.
"They call me Sportsmaster," he announced. "What's your name, friend?"
The masked warrior smiled. "A master of sports? Most excellent! For I, too, am a master of my pursuit. I am Escorpion Azul - grand champion of lucha libre!"
Sportsmaster laughed so hard that he fell over, clutching his sides. "You're a wrestler?" he chortled. "Buddy, that ain't a sport! That's just a bunch of fancy-pants pretty-boys prancing around pretending to fight! Hee hee hee... you ain't no sportsman, you're a dancer!"
Escorpion Azul stepped away from Thor and, with a bloodcurdling scream, leaped at Sportsmaster. The villain had time to gulp - just once - before he was jack hammered and pile-driven beyond anyone's ability to bear. The lucha finished his foe off with a sickening belly-to-back suplex... which placed Sportsmaster right in Thor's sights. A single swipe of Mjolnir sent the bad guy spiralling into the stormy skies, away from Super Hero City.
"Hold, friend, our conflict hath no meaning," Thor said, raising his hands in a sign of peace. "It be clear to me, now, thou art a friend to justice - and, therefore, a friend to all of Midgard. I doth wonder, I confess, how thine hath such amazing strength?"
Escorpion Azul pointed to his belt. "My power is the love of the crowd," he explained. "My championship belt stores it, giving me the strength of 10 men. I use this power not in the ring but after the final bell, wandering the streets of Mexico City ensuring all are safe from terror and wrapped in the cloak of safety."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through the communicator. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
Thor nodded seriously. "I am needed by my friend," he said. "Escorpion Azul, if thou be of heroic nature, I bid thee join my quest to defeat the darkness, end the tempest in the heavens and, mayhap, return thee to thine own time. Will thoust join me?"
"I will," the wrestler replied without hesitation. "If there be evil in this time, let it feel the sting of Escorpion!"
----------
Storm of Time: Bulkhead
Doctors have no time to worry about storms, even if they are the most severe in memory. And so Dr Skelios pushed aside his concern for the world outside and forced himself to concentrate on his patient and her annual check-up. But even his steely focus could not endure the blazing, blinding interruption of a crash-landing time traveller!
Or, more accurately, the pieces of a time traveller. First the legs burst through the hospital's roof, then the arms and torso and, finally and most disturbingly, the head! Dr Skelois rushed to the traveller’s side, convinced he was dead. And so he was shocked - and terrified - when the head smiled happily and said "hi there!".
Doctor and patient watched, sickened, as the smouldering body parts crawled across the floor and reconstituted. The finished product was a genial-looking man clad in (or made of) some kind of yellow metal. Hazard signs were emblazoned on his forehead, chest and legs.
"I'm Gadget," he said brightly. "And I'm a crash test dummy. Woo... going through that time storm was something else, you know? I loved it! If I was human, extreme sports would be my thing but, since I'm a robot, I just really enjoy my job. So I said to myself 'Gadget,' I said, 'if the big brains of the year 3010 want to throw you into a time storm to see if it's safe to navigate, then let's go!'. Hmm... how will I tell them it isn't safe? Have trans-time phones been invented yet?"
With a terrible crack, the hospital's ruined roof was lifted off and torn away. Starscream, the Decepticon air commander, looked in and glowered. "I have come to claim the time traveller for myself," he screeched, "unless anyone asks, in which case I'm doing it for Megatron." He looked distastefully at Dr Skelios and his patient as they and Gadget ran outside, onto the street. "And what I don't need are useless fleshlings getting in the way!"
Starscream raised his cannons and fired. Gadget, still smiling, leaped in the path of the deadly energy bolts. He exploded in a shower of sparks and pieces, falling to the floor in tiny piles of golden parts. Then, just as before, the bits slunk along the carpet until they joined up and, once again, made the crash test dummy whole again.
"Whee, that was fun," Gadget said enthusiastically. "Can we do it again?"
Before a puzzled Starscream could answer, Bulkhead slammed into him from behind. The Decepticon was pushed forward, but the Autobot failed to stop in time... and ran Gadget down! Cursing himself and apologising, Bulkhead quickly transformed. Gadget was still under the behemoth's front wheels, giggling softly. "It tickles," he explained. "Man, I love my job!"
"And I love mine," Starscream hissed as he rose, "which is exterminating foolish weaklings! You, Gadget, most certainly qualify for that title!" He lifted his arms and loosed a horrifying volley of missiles, lasers and machine-gun fire. Gadget was all but atomised by the onslaught.
"You creep," Bulkhead yelled. "You monster!" He hurled his wrecking ball at Starscream, engaging the much-more powerful Decepticon in hand-to-hand combat. He was outmatched, but he was powered by fury and righteous indignation. "For that, I'm gonna..."
He never got to finish his sentence. Yellow dust started blowing across the road and up Starscream's legs. Gadget's body began reforming as he climbed the horrified Decepticon.
"I'm a pretty easy-going guy," the dummy explained, "but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bully. And you, sir, most certainly qualify for that title. So I'm going to do us all a favour and cut you down to size."
"No!" Starscream cried. "Stop it! Get off of me, you creepy freak! Aieee!" But it was no use. Any part of Gadget he crushed, or shot at, or clawed aside with his fingers, just regrew, reattached and kept on climbing. Driven mad by panic and fear, Starscream transformed to jet mode, pulled barrel-rolls to shake Gadget off his super-structure, and then flew away as fast as he could.
"He's silly," Gadget, back in one piece, opined. "I think I could have some fun, annoying him."
"Stick with me, pal, and I'll give you all the chances I can," Bulkhead laughed.
His communicator flared into life. "Situation desperate," Optimus Prime's voice crackled. "Need help immediately. Villains have..." and then it cut off.
"I gotta go," Bulkhead said. "But if you like, you can come with me and help my friends. They're pretty swell, and I bet they'd know a way of getting you back to your own time." He transformed to his battle-van mode and opened his passenger door. "Interested?"
"Absolutely," Gadget said, ignoring the door and climbing onto the Autobot's roof. "I'd rather sit up here, though. More chance I'll fall off. Yay!"
----------
Storm of Time: Green Lantern
At Warrior's restaurant, Sam and Max were working hard. Well, sort of - the culinary duo were discussing what animal they'd most like to be ("The noble lagomorpha," Max declared). The sound of clattering dishes and frying food blocked out much of the noise of the time storm, and so they were oblivious to it... until one of the beams of light crash-landed right outside the foyer.
Running to the doors, Sam and Max caught their first glimpse of the time traveller. He was tan, lean and hungry-looking, with a five o'clock shadow and a 10-gallon hat. Twin revolvers sat in holsters on his hips, and a silver steer's head belt buckle flashed in the fading glare of chronal energy. In one smooth motion, the newcomer drew his pistols, waved them menacingly and yelled: "Where in tarnation am I at?"
When your boss is a super hero, and your customer has guns, there's one thing a chef always does - call for help. Max kept an eye on the stranger while Sam placed an emergency call to Guy Gardner's ring.
Guy was high above the city, tracking chronal energy flares, when he heard from Sam. He made his way quickly to Warrior's and landed in front of the stranger, willpower causing his ring to spark madly with green power. The sneer on his face immediately turned upward, however, when he saw the stranger. Indeed, his whole mood lifted and his voice did something neither Sam nor Max had ever heard before - it became fanboy squeaky.
"You're Zeke Arizona!" Guy all but giggled.
The cowboy looked him up and down. "How d'ya know my name, pardner?"
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," Guy babbled, "Mr Arizona, I'm your biggest fan! I've read every book about you, and you're my hero 'cause you're the greatest marksman that ever lived!"
Zeke's thunderous mood brightened. "Well, yer dead right 'bout that," he drawled, happy for the attention. "But where am I? This sure ain't the prairies, an' I don't see no stage coach that needs protectin' from outlaws, like I was fixing t' do."
Before Guy could answer, a hail of lasers stabbed the ground around them. The Green Lantern threw up a glowing, emerald shield to protect himself and Zeke from their assailants - Darth Vader and his Clone Trooper gunners. "It would appear the traveller knows nothing of the Force," Vader hissed, "yet is aligned with the Light Side nonetheless. He is of no use to us and will be destroyed!"
"Them's fighting words," Zeke whooped, leaping out from behind the shield with his pistols blazing. "Slap leather, ya filthy varmits!"
The Clone Troopers regarded his heroics with laughing contempt... but only for a moment. Though mere bullets could not pierce their armour, they had misjudged Zeke's strategy. The greatest marksman in the history of the world had aimed for the clips, buckles and straps that held their armour together. In seconds, the Troopers were pants-less, panicked and had to scramble behind a street light for cover.
Vader, meanwhile, faced Guy Gardner lightsaber-to-ring. "Your will is strong, Lantern," he breathed, "but it is no match for the power of the Force. "Had you a Red Ring, and were you able to give into your hatred, perhaps you could stop me. Instead, you will die."
Zeke had heard enough. "That ain't no way ta talk t' my pardner," he growled, turning his guns toward the Dark Lord of the Sith. Once again, bullets did nothing to space armour... but they wreaked havoc with the control panel on Vader's chest. Lead projectiles switched delicate life-support machinery on and off, again and again, causing Vader to rasp even more than usual. Fighting for breath, Vader signalled the retreat. His Troopers followed, clasping their britches to keep them up.
Guy was awestruck. "You're amazing!" he cried. "I'll do everything in my power to get you home but, man, I wish you could stay here and hang out with me. It'd be great to..."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through Guy's ring. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
Zeke shot Guy a winning grin. "You want I should help with them varmits 'fore I saddle on back home?"
Guy matched the smile. "You know it... partner."
----------
Storm of Time: Green Arrow
"I'm the King of the World," the skateboarder whooped as he pulled stunts on the ramp. "The king of everyone and everything! Bow down to my total awesomeness, man!"
The park gardener, watching, laughed fondly. "You'll be the king of being grounded if you don't get down and help me some before your parents get back. They said you had to work in the park if you wanted to spend so much time here."
"No way, old man," the kid replied, teasing his friend. "The king of everything doesn't tend plants! He has his people do all the work, and they do it willingly so they can continue to revel in his total awesomeness!"
An arrow whistled through the air, knocking the board out from under the kid. He crash-landed, hard, on the skate ramp. The gardener rushed over to him, but so did another person. The stranger was glowing slightly, as if he had once been filled with energy and it was now leeching away. His footsteps, leading back to the thick, dense forest area of the park, were smoking. He was dressed in green and brown, wearing a cap adorned with a feather and, most worryingly, had another arrow nocked in his longbow, aimed directly at the kid.
"Now, now, now," he said warningly, "you're forgotten the most important lesson of government, King of Everything: people should not be afraid of tyrants, but tyrants should be afraid of the people." He drew his bow taught. "I may not know where I am, and why the groves outside London have vanished, but I recognise servitude and arrogance when I see it. And, ever in the service of liberty, Patrick the Forest Hunter will defend the oppressed!"
Dark laughter filled the air. "What a foolish outlook on life," Black Manta said as he oozed into view. "I saw you fire off that first arrow and thought 'he's one for our side, someone who knows that might makes right'. Instead, well... you're a do-gooder." Manta sighed loudly, raising his harpoon gun. "Still, that's easily remedied."
Patrick was faster than the villain, driving an arrow into his armour. Simultaneously, a second arrow whizzed in from the opposite direction - fired by none other than Green Arrow! The emerald bowman regarded the newcomer quizzically. "Robin Hood?" he asked.
"Forest Hunter," Patrick replied, "and if you mean to impersonate me, ruffian, you'll find your task difficult indeed!"
He snapped a shaft off at Green Arrow, who split it in mid-air with one of his own. In a stunning display, the archers tried to out-do one another but to no avail. Black Manta, caught in the middle, howled as he was showered with wooden splinters, steel heads and wore the arrows that were redirected toward him.
Then Patrick did the impossible - he sent an arrow bouncing off buildings, street signs and trees until it hit Green Arrow from behind. The hero fell and, seeing his opportunity, Black Manta zeroed in for the kill. It was not to be: the kid smacked the villain over the head with his ruined skateboard, giving Green Arrow the moment he needed to recover and take Black Manta down with a boxing glove arrow.
"I am ashamed," Patrick said, watching the scene unfold. "And I was gravely mistaken. Pray forgive me, gentle people, for my foolishness - I took the boy for a bad prince of some kind when he is, indeed, as heroic as the next man. I'd claim my ordeal left me shaken but, in truth, I am prone to such hot-headed impulses."
"Makes two of us," Green Arrow replied. "Must be something about archers, eh?"
Patrick smiled. "Indeed," he nodded. "Today, I have met an ally."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through Green Arrow's belt communicator. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
"As usual, it falls to me to save the rest of them," Green Arrow sighed. "Why don't you tag along? Maybe I can teach you how to shoot that thing properly."
"Oh ho, a challenge!" Patrick laughed. "Let the contest begin!"
----------
Storm of Time: Batman
The time storm was wreaking havoc on Super Hero City, but the Joker didn't care. For once, the Clown Prince of Crime was not smiling. "It's not fair," he wailed. "It's the end of the world, and I'm not the one doing the ending! This is so depressing." He paused as cruel thoughts percolated within his insane mind, and a tiny grin tugged at the corners of his ruby-red lips. "Unless," he hissed, "I wipe this stinking city - and the Batman - off the face of the globe while there still is a globe! Hah hah hah hah hah!"
Working quickly, the Joker hid special canisters at the post office, in the park and at Warrior's - missing the departing heroes, at each location, by mere minutes. The Joker's tricks usually did one of two things: spew laughing gas, or explode. In honour of the end of the world, the harlequin had rigged his canisters to do both, ensuring maximum mayhem before Armageddon.
As the grinning goon finished his task, Batman thundered through the streets in the Batmobile. Like his friends, he had received Iron Man's frantic call for assistance, but had not begun his search for the final time traveller. He knew the Joker only too well, and was sure his arch-enemy would be looking to make things even worse for the suffering city. His deductive skills were spot-on - he caught up with his foe at Warrior's, just as the final canister was being set up.
"Joker," he boomed as he leaped from the Batmobile, cape spreading menacingly. But the Joker was not fazed by the Caped Crusader. He retaliated with his mallet, and the two clashed as the time storm raged around them. So focused was he on his foe that Batman did not see the exploding canister in time - it flipped the Batmobile up in the air and brought it down on top of him. One blow to Batman's head later and the Joker was poised to achieve his dream. "The world is going to end," he cackled, "but I'm going to end Batman first!"
The mallet fell... but Batman vanished.
A second later he reappeared behind the Joker, punched him once, and vanished again. The clown reeled... right into the path of another appear-punch-vanish attack. And another. And another. The Joker thudded to the floor, dazed, and Batman reappeared one last time. He was puzzled. "What just happened?" he asked himself.
In a puff of smoke, a stranger appeared. He was dressed in a tuxedo and white gloves, with a red rose on one lapel. A finely-trimmed moustache sat above his wry grin, and a silk top hat sat jauntily atop his head. In one hand the man twirled a long, thin wand, the sort used by the stage magicians of old.
"I happened," the newcomer said in a grand, friendly voice. "The Illusioneer, at your service! Clearly, the clown was some kind of villain most foul and, though I specialise in the beasts that go bump in the night, it is my sworn duty to use my sorcerous skills to put down any ne'er-do-well post-haste!"
"The Illusioneer," Batman repeated. "I've heard of you. You were one of the first mystery men... the original super heroes. History says you vanished years ago... and if you're here now, in my time, then I suppose that explains your disappearance."
"The world is indeed a mysterious place," the Illusioneer agreed. "I'm thankful I was able to entomb my enemy, Lord Bludcreep, and his grotesque family before I was caught up in this new strangeness."
The Joker groaned, and both heroes turned to face him. "Allow me," the Illusioneer said. He bent down and blew his rose's pollen into the clown's face. The Joker instantly slumped into a deep sleep. "One of my more subtle spells," the magician explained. He waved his wand at the Batmobile and, in a sparkle of light, the vehicle righted itself and was ready to roll. A second gesture teleported the other canisters to their location and detonated them safely. "As opposed to those," he smiled.
"Then you'd better bring along your whole bag of tricks," Batman said. "I've a feeling we might need your help, before this is all over."
----------
Storm of Time #2
They arrived as one - newcomers and famed heroes alike. Grimlock, Henry Ugh Jr, Thor, Escorpio Azul, Bulkhead, Gadget, Guy Gardner, Zeke Arizona, Green Arrow, Forest Hunter, Batman and the Illusioneer made quick introductions and swapped stories. Then they turned to the problem at hand. Like a massive red-and-black tornado funnel, the time storm stretched from ground to sky. They had to get inside that tempest if they were to rescue their friends and save the day. But nothing they tried, from power ring to Bat-device, could penetrate the storm.
"I've got it," Bulkhead exclaimed. "It's like Space Bridges! If you've been affected by Space Bridge radiation, you can get zipped around by one. So if you've been affected by chronal energy, you might be able to breach the time storm. And that means..." He looked meaningfully at the time travellers.
Within the funnel, the heroes had fallen. Only Hanzo Hattori had escaped the onslaught, and only temporarily - the gathered villains were bearing down on the ninja, determined to capture him and tie him to the ruins of Doom's time machine. "It's over, human," Megatron snarled, transforming to tank mode. He levelled his barrel at Hanzo. "Surrender to the inevitable!"
Something small, round and yellow rocketed through the winds and plugged Megatron's barrel. The Decepticon leader's shot backfired, hurtling him away and dropping the smoking yellow plug onto the ground. It smiled. "That was fun," Gadget's head whooped. "Come on, guys - let's cream 'em!"
The time travellers stepped out of the tornado and, making good use of the element of surprise, attacked.
Escorpio Azul jack-hammered and pinned MODOK and Abomination. Gadget swarmed over the Battle Droids while Hanzo - buoyed by the reinforcements - took down Slash. Zeke and Patrick's sharp-shooting made short work of Megatron and Blitzwing, severing vital cables so the robots shorted out. And Henry Ugh Jr made a good first impression by dropping Gorilla Grodd with a swift shot to the monkey nuts. Working as a team, they also managed to free the imprisoned heroes. "Just in time," the Hulk sighed. "Hulk have to potty!" The jade giant quickly made himself scarce.
The others formed a massive group and closed in on Doom. "It's too late," the lord of Latveria cried, half-crazed by the situation. "You're all too, too late! The world is ending, everyone is going to die! There's not a thing you can do about it! There's nothing anyone can do! We've broken time, yes, but who could fix it? Who?"
VWORP. VWORP. VWORP.
With a grinding of gears and a shuddering of space-time, a small blue box materialised amongst the combatants. Old hinges squeaked as a wooden door opened, and out stepped a tall, thin man dressed in blue and tan. He was handsome (in a geeky sort of way), with interesting hair and a thoughtful look on his face. He clucked his tongue once.
"Well now," he said, taking a deep breath. "Having some problems, are we? I was just popping 'round to see how things were - like to keep an eye on the place, you know - and I saw this great big bubble in the fabric of the universe. Never a good thing, those bubbles, so I came down to get up close." He looked Hanzo, Gadget and the other time travellers up and down. "Look at you," he beamed, a goofy grin splitting his face. "Ninjas and crash test dummies and, oh, even a caveman! Good for you, you're beautiful!" He glanced at Doom and shuddered. "Not so much you, though. Tailoring by Mondas, I assume?"
Doom spluttered. "Who are you?"
"I'm the Doctor."
"But that's my title!"
Hanzo stepped forward. "Please," he said, "if you are able to stop this madness, help us. Our allies are trapped on the other side of the storm and cannot join us, nor can they halt this destruction."
Pulling on his brainy specs, the Doctor began to examine the ruined time machine. "See, now, there's your problem," he announced, pointing vigorously at some twisted metal. "Sub-standard flux capacitors! If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen a home-made time machine with dodgy flux capacitors I'd... well, I'd have a dollar. 'Cause normally, no one's stupid enough to make something like this! Who designed this piece of rubbish?"
"I did!" Doom cried indignantly.
"Explains just about everything, really," the Doctor sniffed.
"My mother says I'm a genius," Doom muttered darkly.
With a whirr, a click and a few beams of blue light, the Doctor's sonic screwdriver pulled the flux capacitor into shape. The screeching, whirling winds of the time tornado died down, granting the other heroes access to the broken machinery. Batman and the others swarmed around Doom.
"You're all mad," the tyrant boomed, "to think this can be stopped! But, on the off chance you're right, then I will wait in my castle... and then conquer whatever of this world remains!" He ignited his boot jets and took off.
Iron Man moved to follow, but Optimus Prime stopped him. "We have bigger problems, Tony," the Autobot leader said, pointing to the sky. Freed from its moorings, the time storm had worsened and spread. Gravity and other fundamental, natural forces began to fail. The heroes huddled under the remnants of Doom's tower.
Green Lantern's ring made a pinging noise. "Time Lord?" he asked, puzzled by its read-out of the Doctor's biology. "But they're just a myth."
"I get that a lot," the Doctor yelled over the din. "But never mind that - I need to get up there, and the TARDIS doesn't do so well with atmospheric flight. Anyone got a spaceship handy?"
Chewbacca growled, then barked into his communicator. In seconds, the familiar shape of the Millennium Falcon appeared overhead.
"A YT-1300 light freighter," the Doctor enthused. "And it's still running! Aw, that's brilliant."
Han Solo landed and was brought up to speed. "She can handle the time storm," he said, patting the ship affectionately. "You're talking about the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "A parsec's a measure of distance, you know, not time."
"Shh!" Han hissed. "I know that, but they don't!"
In a few moments, they were ready for take-off. The Doctor climbed atop the ship's hull after first removing its quad-cannons ("Never was much for guns," he explained) and worked feverishly to convert the Falcon's radar dish into a time-sealing beam emitter. He hung on grimly as the ship drew closer to the fiery centre of the storm.
As the heroes watched breathlessly from below, the Doctor and Han managed to close the space-time rift. The time storm shrieked, groaned and protested, but it stopped. As if sullen and resentful, it fired one last bolt of lightning as it faded away - one that struck the Falcon and sent the Doctor over the side and into the air!
There was one final, blinding flash to finish the adventure; it was Iron Man, streaking into the sky to catch the falling Time Lord. "Sorry about the bruises," he quipped, "this armour wasn't built for catching people."
They were greeted, on the ground, with cheers and applause. The heroes gathered around the Doctor and tried to thank him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He was in the midst of rebuffing their platitudes when Hanzo quietly asked: "If you are a time traveller, then you will take us home?"
"Ah," said the Doctor, looking forlorn. "I'd really like to, you know, but I can't. One of the things about being a Time Lord is that I can see time, both how it is and how it ought to be. And you lot, you... mysterious seven... all of your personal time-lines converge here. Now. In this era. You need to be here, and I can't interfere with that." He sighed. "I'm really, really sorry." Then he brightened. "Long past time I was off, then," he cried, stepping into the TARDIS with a wave. A moment later, the strange craft dematerialised, leaving the heroes alone.
Leonardo approached Hanzo. "I'm sorry," he offered.
Hanzo shut his eyes tightly, then opened them and stood tall. "If this is destiny," he said softly, "then I will accept it, and trust it will lead me home one day. Until then," he turned to the others, "I feel we must answer honour's call and do all we can to protect this time. Are you with me?"
Escorpio Azul stepped forward. "My mask, and my service, are yours, mi amigo," he said, flourishing his cape.
"Ugh help," the caveman said. "This am nice place. Safe, because everything already invented. Me like."
"Time is nothing to a magician," the Illusioneer mused. "I answer the call to arms."
"As do I," said Forest Hunter. "In this time, my legend has been wrongly attributed to another. Thus shall I make my name here and now!"
"You fellers are gonna need some country-style help," Zeke drawled, "and ain't no one better for that than me. I'm in, pardners."
Gadget grinned. "All of you, working together?" he asked. "Heavens... I could get shot and bashed and cut and clubbed and shafted and maybe even turned into a frog. I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
Hanzo nodded approvingly. "Then we are what the Doctor called us," he said. "We are the Mysterious Seven!"
---------- THE END ----------
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
As it is in comics, so too in my daughter's imagination.
LJ, stareyednight and I spent last week plotting. Planning. Conjuring up ideas. Working on back-stories and finessing details. It was been our family project - discussed after homework and over dinner - every night. Together, we came up with an entire cast of original characters. Each one is (we think) a cool addition to the games played so far. Over the weekend, all our ideas came to fruition... and, for the first time, one of LJ's amazing adventures comes with photographs!
So read on, true believer, and get ready for the ride of your life as LJ presents the biggest imaginary event of 2010: Storm of Time!
----------
Storm of Time #1
Hanzo Hattori, the time-displaced ninja, had agreed to spar with Leonardo, leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As they faux-battled their way through the park, Hattori shared some of his past. "My only wish is to return to my home in a ancient Japan," he said sadly. "I miss my wife and my children, and I am sure they miss me terribly." Leo learned, to his amazement, that Hattori was the inventor of ninjutsu as well as the long-time enemy of Captain Redbeard, the equally time-displaced pirate. "He tried to steal my wife and daughter from me," Hattori said. "I chased them into the ocean and, as I was about to strike, a terrible storm swept us far away from the coast. When the storm ended, I was here... in your time."
Leo thought on this. "What you need is a time machine," he opined. "I mean, we Turtles have travelled in time before, but that was with this crazy sceptre thing and, well, it broke. But I'm sure Iron Man could whip something up, if we asked him. He's pretty clever."
Before Hattori could reply, the friends heard a noise overhead. Redbeard and his Sky-Pirates, Ballast and Bonny Jane, were flying toward Villainville in their rocket-boat. The ninjas decided to follow... arriving in time to see the pirates attack Doctor Doom, Abomination and MODOK! Redbeard, whose greed knows no bounds, wanted a new sword - the Infinity Sword! Though Ballast's super-strength brought Abomination down, and Bonny Jane's sword was more than a match for MODOK, Doom could not be defeated by mere pirates. As they retreated, the Lord of Latveria swore a terrible oath: he would create a time machine and use it to shoot the pirates back to their own time "and out of my metal-plated business!".
Leo and Hanzo knew what to do. They needed that time machine for themselves. Also, they needed to make sure Doom didn't have it, or else he'd be able to gather up armies from across history to use for his nefarious goals. Returning quickly to Avengers Mansion, the ninjas informed Optimus Prime of the situation. Although his ranks were depleted, as many heroes were off on solo missions, Prime nonetheless drew together a formidable battle group. But, by the time they reached Villainville, Doom had massed his own forces - and almost finished the machine! The result was an epic confrontation between good and evil.
Doom and Iron Man squared off, and their equal-but-opposing attacks sparked a high-energy chain reaction within the time machine. The device exploded, its chronal power vomiting into the stratosphere. The skies above earth turned red, then black, before splitting in two with a thunderous cracking noise. A time storm opened - and, if left unchecked, it would swallow first Earth and then the whole universe! From out the swirling darkness shot six person-shaped bolts of energy, like shooting stars aimed directly at Super Hero City!
Hero and villain alike found themselves trapped in the ruined machine's vicinity, unable to get outside the eye of the maelstrom. Optimus and Iron Man did the only thing they could. They got on their communicators to let their patrolling friends know the situation. Each solo hero was tasked with a most important mission: they were to find the impact sites of the six time travellers and determine whether they were friend... or foe. Doom and Megatron followed suit, ordering their forces to capture the "sky beings" no matter the cost.
Watching the storm from outside, Guy Gardner, Batman, Grimlock, Thor, Bulkhead and Green Arrow heard the call and rushed off to face danger... and excitement!
----------
Storm of Time: Grimlock
The Super Hero City police department had just settled down to lunch when they were buffeted by the winds of the time storm. They ran outside to see what was happening... and thank goodness they did. Just seconds later, one of the six energy bolts ploughed through their police station, scattering bricks everywhere!
From out the blinding light wandered a tall, stocky, long-haired figure. He was wearing an animal skin, carrying a large club... and was very, very confused.
"Hold it right there," Captain Fanzone yelled, drawing his weapon. "Who are you, and why have you wrecked our police station?"
The new arrival scratched his thick brow with a strong finger. "Me am Henry Ugh Jr," he replied in a guttural voice. Glancing around, he looked admiringly at Fanzone's police bike. "Ooo, wheel," he said happily. "Henry's father am inventor of wheel! Henry Ugh Sr make first wheel!" His face darkened. "Then him get run over by it, become first road accident victim. Very sad."
A nervous rookie cop lost his cool and fired off a shot. It bounced harmlessly off Henry's thick, prehistoric hide. But a lack of pain did not equate to a lack of insult - angered, Henry lashed out with his club and knocked the police aside like tenpins. And so when Grimlock, Dinobot commander, arrived seconds later, he thought he had the situation all figured out.
"Hairy man stop hurting Fanzone," he bellowed, charging Henry in dinosaur mode.
"Aargh! Big dinosaur leave Henry alone!" the caveman yelled in reply.
Both stopped dead in their tracks.
"You speak me, Henry's language," the caveman smiled.
"No, you speak me, Grimlock's language!" the Dinobot laughed.
As each dropped his guard, Grimlock fell victim to a heinous sneak attack. Soundwave crashed into him from behind, then ejected Laserbeak and Ravage to chase off the police. The Decepticon communicator focused his attention on Henry. "If you are the traveller Megatron saw fall from the heavens," he droned, "then you shall belong to Megatron. Prepare to be mind-controlled!"
Sonic waves washed over Henry... to no effect. "I do not understand," Soundwave intoned, perplexed. "Mind control is ineffective. It is as if he does not have a mind."
"Neither do me, Grimlock," the Dinobot roared, returning the sneak-attack favour. Henry loped up the side of a building to battle Laserbeak, and the police finally gained some ground against Ravage.
Lasers and flame throwers lit up the storm-darkened skies. Laserbeak was set alight by Grimlock's incendiary breath and crashed, still burning, into the park. "Fire am bad," Henry yelled as he watched. "Henry's brother am inventor of fire! Then him become first fatal burn victim! Henry no let that happen to pretty trees!" He ran to the broken mailbox and beat on it with his club, creating a makeshift alarm that brought the fire department's helicopter to the scene. The last of the flames were extinguished just as Grimlock and the police brought the pain to the Decepticons. Soundwave and Ravage retreated, grabbing the scorched Ravage as they fled.
Fanzone immediately apologised to Henry. "I was wrong about you," he said. "I hate machines, but I think I can find a soft spot in my heart for a heroic caveman."
"Big hero," Grimlock agreed.
"Henry no hero," the new arrival replied sadly. "Henry am failure. Whole family invent stuff, big geniuses. No live to enjoy it, but still do important things. Henry do nothing."
"Well, seeing as this is the future, as far as you're concerned," Fanzone said, "it looks to me like you're the world's first time-traveller. And you lived to tell the tale."
A beaming grin split Henry's dark, matted beard. "Me am do something good," he cried happily. "Me am true member of Ugh family!"
Just then, Grimlock received a static-corrupted call from Optimus Prime. "Situation desperate," it crackled. "Need help immediately. Villains have..." and then it cut off.
"Come, little squishy brother," Grimlock boomed, gesturing to Henry. "We go save weakling Autobots now, like me, Grimlock always have to do! Then maybe dumb Autobots help Henry go home!"
"Me, Henry, help big crunchy brother," the caveman whooped, leaping onto the Dinobot's back. "Day am about to be saved!"
----------
Storm of Time: Thor
Sparkplug and Spike were preparing their petrol station for the lunch rush when the time storm flared to life overhead. They had no time to seek shelter - almost immediately, a blinding flash of light stabbed downward from the heavens and exploded right next to them! Fortunately, the petrol tanks did not catch fire. Stunned and a little dazed, the father-and-son were amazed to see a tall, muscular figure emerge from the eye-straining flash.
He was wearing a red cape, blue tights and a leather belt with an enormous gold buckle. His entire head was covered in a decorative blue-and-red hood, masking everything save his jaw and mouth. And from out that mouth came the words: "Aye, Karumba! Where is the ring? Where are the fans? Where is that blasted rudo who used flash paper against me? I will break him with my Scorpion Deathlock!"
Spike and Sparkplug cowered in fear, as the new arrival was quite clearly a madman. He stalked around their business, shrieking about "rudos" and the "triumph of the tecnicoes". His behaviour would have continued unabated, if not for a second bolt from the sky. This was no time traveller, however - it was the arrival of Thor, God of Thunder!
"Stand down, base villain," Thor ordered. "Thy mischief shall cease, or it wilt be hammer time!"
Beneath his mask, the warrior's eyes narrowed. "Rudo," he hissed. "I can tell by your long, flowing hair. Yours is a mane that shall be taken... by Escorpion Azul!"
The warrior pressed his fists to his enormous belt, and his entire frame seemed to shake and glow with power. Then he charged Thor and, when they collided, the very ground shook! Thor struck again and again, with both fist and Mjolnir. Though his opponent staggered and stumbled, he would not fall. Likewise, the masked man pounded Thor with blow after blow and, at times, locked him in excruciating choke holds and twisting grips. But the Thunder God would not give an inch.
Their struggle, unexpectedly, drew some applause... from the sinister Sportsmaster. Dispatched, by Doom, to recover the sky being, the Champion of Cheating saw a lot of super villain potential in the newcomer.
"They call me Sportsmaster," he announced. "What's your name, friend?"
The masked warrior smiled. "A master of sports? Most excellent! For I, too, am a master of my pursuit. I am Escorpion Azul - grand champion of lucha libre!"
Sportsmaster laughed so hard that he fell over, clutching his sides. "You're a wrestler?" he chortled. "Buddy, that ain't a sport! That's just a bunch of fancy-pants pretty-boys prancing around pretending to fight! Hee hee hee... you ain't no sportsman, you're a dancer!"
Escorpion Azul stepped away from Thor and, with a bloodcurdling scream, leaped at Sportsmaster. The villain had time to gulp - just once - before he was jack hammered and pile-driven beyond anyone's ability to bear. The lucha finished his foe off with a sickening belly-to-back suplex... which placed Sportsmaster right in Thor's sights. A single swipe of Mjolnir sent the bad guy spiralling into the stormy skies, away from Super Hero City.
"Hold, friend, our conflict hath no meaning," Thor said, raising his hands in a sign of peace. "It be clear to me, now, thou art a friend to justice - and, therefore, a friend to all of Midgard. I doth wonder, I confess, how thine hath such amazing strength?"
Escorpion Azul pointed to his belt. "My power is the love of the crowd," he explained. "My championship belt stores it, giving me the strength of 10 men. I use this power not in the ring but after the final bell, wandering the streets of Mexico City ensuring all are safe from terror and wrapped in the cloak of safety."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through the communicator. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
Thor nodded seriously. "I am needed by my friend," he said. "Escorpion Azul, if thou be of heroic nature, I bid thee join my quest to defeat the darkness, end the tempest in the heavens and, mayhap, return thee to thine own time. Will thoust join me?"
"I will," the wrestler replied without hesitation. "If there be evil in this time, let it feel the sting of Escorpion!"
----------
Storm of Time: Bulkhead
Doctors have no time to worry about storms, even if they are the most severe in memory. And so Dr Skelios pushed aside his concern for the world outside and forced himself to concentrate on his patient and her annual check-up. But even his steely focus could not endure the blazing, blinding interruption of a crash-landing time traveller!
Or, more accurately, the pieces of a time traveller. First the legs burst through the hospital's roof, then the arms and torso and, finally and most disturbingly, the head! Dr Skelois rushed to the traveller’s side, convinced he was dead. And so he was shocked - and terrified - when the head smiled happily and said "hi there!".
Doctor and patient watched, sickened, as the smouldering body parts crawled across the floor and reconstituted. The finished product was a genial-looking man clad in (or made of) some kind of yellow metal. Hazard signs were emblazoned on his forehead, chest and legs.
"I'm Gadget," he said brightly. "And I'm a crash test dummy. Woo... going through that time storm was something else, you know? I loved it! If I was human, extreme sports would be my thing but, since I'm a robot, I just really enjoy my job. So I said to myself 'Gadget,' I said, 'if the big brains of the year 3010 want to throw you into a time storm to see if it's safe to navigate, then let's go!'. Hmm... how will I tell them it isn't safe? Have trans-time phones been invented yet?"
With a terrible crack, the hospital's ruined roof was lifted off and torn away. Starscream, the Decepticon air commander, looked in and glowered. "I have come to claim the time traveller for myself," he screeched, "unless anyone asks, in which case I'm doing it for Megatron." He looked distastefully at Dr Skelios and his patient as they and Gadget ran outside, onto the street. "And what I don't need are useless fleshlings getting in the way!"
Starscream raised his cannons and fired. Gadget, still smiling, leaped in the path of the deadly energy bolts. He exploded in a shower of sparks and pieces, falling to the floor in tiny piles of golden parts. Then, just as before, the bits slunk along the carpet until they joined up and, once again, made the crash test dummy whole again.
"Whee, that was fun," Gadget said enthusiastically. "Can we do it again?"
Before a puzzled Starscream could answer, Bulkhead slammed into him from behind. The Decepticon was pushed forward, but the Autobot failed to stop in time... and ran Gadget down! Cursing himself and apologising, Bulkhead quickly transformed. Gadget was still under the behemoth's front wheels, giggling softly. "It tickles," he explained. "Man, I love my job!"
"And I love mine," Starscream hissed as he rose, "which is exterminating foolish weaklings! You, Gadget, most certainly qualify for that title!" He lifted his arms and loosed a horrifying volley of missiles, lasers and machine-gun fire. Gadget was all but atomised by the onslaught.
"You creep," Bulkhead yelled. "You monster!" He hurled his wrecking ball at Starscream, engaging the much-more powerful Decepticon in hand-to-hand combat. He was outmatched, but he was powered by fury and righteous indignation. "For that, I'm gonna..."
He never got to finish his sentence. Yellow dust started blowing across the road and up Starscream's legs. Gadget's body began reforming as he climbed the horrified Decepticon.
"I'm a pretty easy-going guy," the dummy explained, "but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bully. And you, sir, most certainly qualify for that title. So I'm going to do us all a favour and cut you down to size."
"No!" Starscream cried. "Stop it! Get off of me, you creepy freak! Aieee!" But it was no use. Any part of Gadget he crushed, or shot at, or clawed aside with his fingers, just regrew, reattached and kept on climbing. Driven mad by panic and fear, Starscream transformed to jet mode, pulled barrel-rolls to shake Gadget off his super-structure, and then flew away as fast as he could.
"He's silly," Gadget, back in one piece, opined. "I think I could have some fun, annoying him."
"Stick with me, pal, and I'll give you all the chances I can," Bulkhead laughed.
His communicator flared into life. "Situation desperate," Optimus Prime's voice crackled. "Need help immediately. Villains have..." and then it cut off.
"I gotta go," Bulkhead said. "But if you like, you can come with me and help my friends. They're pretty swell, and I bet they'd know a way of getting you back to your own time." He transformed to his battle-van mode and opened his passenger door. "Interested?"
"Absolutely," Gadget said, ignoring the door and climbing onto the Autobot's roof. "I'd rather sit up here, though. More chance I'll fall off. Yay!"
----------
Storm of Time: Green Lantern
At Warrior's restaurant, Sam and Max were working hard. Well, sort of - the culinary duo were discussing what animal they'd most like to be ("The noble lagomorpha," Max declared). The sound of clattering dishes and frying food blocked out much of the noise of the time storm, and so they were oblivious to it... until one of the beams of light crash-landed right outside the foyer.
Running to the doors, Sam and Max caught their first glimpse of the time traveller. He was tan, lean and hungry-looking, with a five o'clock shadow and a 10-gallon hat. Twin revolvers sat in holsters on his hips, and a silver steer's head belt buckle flashed in the fading glare of chronal energy. In one smooth motion, the newcomer drew his pistols, waved them menacingly and yelled: "Where in tarnation am I at?"
When your boss is a super hero, and your customer has guns, there's one thing a chef always does - call for help. Max kept an eye on the stranger while Sam placed an emergency call to Guy Gardner's ring.
Guy was high above the city, tracking chronal energy flares, when he heard from Sam. He made his way quickly to Warrior's and landed in front of the stranger, willpower causing his ring to spark madly with green power. The sneer on his face immediately turned upward, however, when he saw the stranger. Indeed, his whole mood lifted and his voice did something neither Sam nor Max had ever heard before - it became fanboy squeaky.
"You're Zeke Arizona!" Guy all but giggled.
The cowboy looked him up and down. "How d'ya know my name, pardner?"
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," Guy babbled, "Mr Arizona, I'm your biggest fan! I've read every book about you, and you're my hero 'cause you're the greatest marksman that ever lived!"
Zeke's thunderous mood brightened. "Well, yer dead right 'bout that," he drawled, happy for the attention. "But where am I? This sure ain't the prairies, an' I don't see no stage coach that needs protectin' from outlaws, like I was fixing t' do."
Before Guy could answer, a hail of lasers stabbed the ground around them. The Green Lantern threw up a glowing, emerald shield to protect himself and Zeke from their assailants - Darth Vader and his Clone Trooper gunners. "It would appear the traveller knows nothing of the Force," Vader hissed, "yet is aligned with the Light Side nonetheless. He is of no use to us and will be destroyed!"
"Them's fighting words," Zeke whooped, leaping out from behind the shield with his pistols blazing. "Slap leather, ya filthy varmits!"
The Clone Troopers regarded his heroics with laughing contempt... but only for a moment. Though mere bullets could not pierce their armour, they had misjudged Zeke's strategy. The greatest marksman in the history of the world had aimed for the clips, buckles and straps that held their armour together. In seconds, the Troopers were pants-less, panicked and had to scramble behind a street light for cover.
Vader, meanwhile, faced Guy Gardner lightsaber-to-ring. "Your will is strong, Lantern," he breathed, "but it is no match for the power of the Force. "Had you a Red Ring, and were you able to give into your hatred, perhaps you could stop me. Instead, you will die."
Zeke had heard enough. "That ain't no way ta talk t' my pardner," he growled, turning his guns toward the Dark Lord of the Sith. Once again, bullets did nothing to space armour... but they wreaked havoc with the control panel on Vader's chest. Lead projectiles switched delicate life-support machinery on and off, again and again, causing Vader to rasp even more than usual. Fighting for breath, Vader signalled the retreat. His Troopers followed, clasping their britches to keep them up.
Guy was awestruck. "You're amazing!" he cried. "I'll do everything in my power to get you home but, man, I wish you could stay here and hang out with me. It'd be great to..."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through Guy's ring. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
Zeke shot Guy a winning grin. "You want I should help with them varmits 'fore I saddle on back home?"
Guy matched the smile. "You know it... partner."
----------
Storm of Time: Green Arrow
"I'm the King of the World," the skateboarder whooped as he pulled stunts on the ramp. "The king of everyone and everything! Bow down to my total awesomeness, man!"
The park gardener, watching, laughed fondly. "You'll be the king of being grounded if you don't get down and help me some before your parents get back. They said you had to work in the park if you wanted to spend so much time here."
"No way, old man," the kid replied, teasing his friend. "The king of everything doesn't tend plants! He has his people do all the work, and they do it willingly so they can continue to revel in his total awesomeness!"
An arrow whistled through the air, knocking the board out from under the kid. He crash-landed, hard, on the skate ramp. The gardener rushed over to him, but so did another person. The stranger was glowing slightly, as if he had once been filled with energy and it was now leeching away. His footsteps, leading back to the thick, dense forest area of the park, were smoking. He was dressed in green and brown, wearing a cap adorned with a feather and, most worryingly, had another arrow nocked in his longbow, aimed directly at the kid.
"Now, now, now," he said warningly, "you're forgotten the most important lesson of government, King of Everything: people should not be afraid of tyrants, but tyrants should be afraid of the people." He drew his bow taught. "I may not know where I am, and why the groves outside London have vanished, but I recognise servitude and arrogance when I see it. And, ever in the service of liberty, Patrick the Forest Hunter will defend the oppressed!"
Dark laughter filled the air. "What a foolish outlook on life," Black Manta said as he oozed into view. "I saw you fire off that first arrow and thought 'he's one for our side, someone who knows that might makes right'. Instead, well... you're a do-gooder." Manta sighed loudly, raising his harpoon gun. "Still, that's easily remedied."
Patrick was faster than the villain, driving an arrow into his armour. Simultaneously, a second arrow whizzed in from the opposite direction - fired by none other than Green Arrow! The emerald bowman regarded the newcomer quizzically. "Robin Hood?" he asked.
"Forest Hunter," Patrick replied, "and if you mean to impersonate me, ruffian, you'll find your task difficult indeed!"
He snapped a shaft off at Green Arrow, who split it in mid-air with one of his own. In a stunning display, the archers tried to out-do one another but to no avail. Black Manta, caught in the middle, howled as he was showered with wooden splinters, steel heads and wore the arrows that were redirected toward him.
Then Patrick did the impossible - he sent an arrow bouncing off buildings, street signs and trees until it hit Green Arrow from behind. The hero fell and, seeing his opportunity, Black Manta zeroed in for the kill. It was not to be: the kid smacked the villain over the head with his ruined skateboard, giving Green Arrow the moment he needed to recover and take Black Manta down with a boxing glove arrow.
"I am ashamed," Patrick said, watching the scene unfold. "And I was gravely mistaken. Pray forgive me, gentle people, for my foolishness - I took the boy for a bad prince of some kind when he is, indeed, as heroic as the next man. I'd claim my ordeal left me shaken but, in truth, I am prone to such hot-headed impulses."
"Makes two of us," Green Arrow replied. "Must be something about archers, eh?"
Patrick smiled. "Indeed," he nodded. "Today, I have met an ally."
Static filled the air. "Heroes," Iron Man yelled through Green Arrow's belt communicator. "We're in trouble! Hope you've found your time travellers, and they're friendly, because the bad guys are..." The message ended abruptly.
"As usual, it falls to me to save the rest of them," Green Arrow sighed. "Why don't you tag along? Maybe I can teach you how to shoot that thing properly."
"Oh ho, a challenge!" Patrick laughed. "Let the contest begin!"
----------
Storm of Time: Batman
The time storm was wreaking havoc on Super Hero City, but the Joker didn't care. For once, the Clown Prince of Crime was not smiling. "It's not fair," he wailed. "It's the end of the world, and I'm not the one doing the ending! This is so depressing." He paused as cruel thoughts percolated within his insane mind, and a tiny grin tugged at the corners of his ruby-red lips. "Unless," he hissed, "I wipe this stinking city - and the Batman - off the face of the globe while there still is a globe! Hah hah hah hah hah!"
Working quickly, the Joker hid special canisters at the post office, in the park and at Warrior's - missing the departing heroes, at each location, by mere minutes. The Joker's tricks usually did one of two things: spew laughing gas, or explode. In honour of the end of the world, the harlequin had rigged his canisters to do both, ensuring maximum mayhem before Armageddon.
As the grinning goon finished his task, Batman thundered through the streets in the Batmobile. Like his friends, he had received Iron Man's frantic call for assistance, but had not begun his search for the final time traveller. He knew the Joker only too well, and was sure his arch-enemy would be looking to make things even worse for the suffering city. His deductive skills were spot-on - he caught up with his foe at Warrior's, just as the final canister was being set up.
"Joker," he boomed as he leaped from the Batmobile, cape spreading menacingly. But the Joker was not fazed by the Caped Crusader. He retaliated with his mallet, and the two clashed as the time storm raged around them. So focused was he on his foe that Batman did not see the exploding canister in time - it flipped the Batmobile up in the air and brought it down on top of him. One blow to Batman's head later and the Joker was poised to achieve his dream. "The world is going to end," he cackled, "but I'm going to end Batman first!"
The mallet fell... but Batman vanished.
A second later he reappeared behind the Joker, punched him once, and vanished again. The clown reeled... right into the path of another appear-punch-vanish attack. And another. And another. The Joker thudded to the floor, dazed, and Batman reappeared one last time. He was puzzled. "What just happened?" he asked himself.
In a puff of smoke, a stranger appeared. He was dressed in a tuxedo and white gloves, with a red rose on one lapel. A finely-trimmed moustache sat above his wry grin, and a silk top hat sat jauntily atop his head. In one hand the man twirled a long, thin wand, the sort used by the stage magicians of old.
"I happened," the newcomer said in a grand, friendly voice. "The Illusioneer, at your service! Clearly, the clown was some kind of villain most foul and, though I specialise in the beasts that go bump in the night, it is my sworn duty to use my sorcerous skills to put down any ne'er-do-well post-haste!"
"The Illusioneer," Batman repeated. "I've heard of you. You were one of the first mystery men... the original super heroes. History says you vanished years ago... and if you're here now, in my time, then I suppose that explains your disappearance."
"The world is indeed a mysterious place," the Illusioneer agreed. "I'm thankful I was able to entomb my enemy, Lord Bludcreep, and his grotesque family before I was caught up in this new strangeness."
The Joker groaned, and both heroes turned to face him. "Allow me," the Illusioneer said. He bent down and blew his rose's pollen into the clown's face. The Joker instantly slumped into a deep sleep. "One of my more subtle spells," the magician explained. He waved his wand at the Batmobile and, in a sparkle of light, the vehicle righted itself and was ready to roll. A second gesture teleported the other canisters to their location and detonated them safely. "As opposed to those," he smiled.
"Then you'd better bring along your whole bag of tricks," Batman said. "I've a feeling we might need your help, before this is all over."
----------
Storm of Time #2
They arrived as one - newcomers and famed heroes alike. Grimlock, Henry Ugh Jr, Thor, Escorpio Azul, Bulkhead, Gadget, Guy Gardner, Zeke Arizona, Green Arrow, Forest Hunter, Batman and the Illusioneer made quick introductions and swapped stories. Then they turned to the problem at hand. Like a massive red-and-black tornado funnel, the time storm stretched from ground to sky. They had to get inside that tempest if they were to rescue their friends and save the day. But nothing they tried, from power ring to Bat-device, could penetrate the storm.
"I've got it," Bulkhead exclaimed. "It's like Space Bridges! If you've been affected by Space Bridge radiation, you can get zipped around by one. So if you've been affected by chronal energy, you might be able to breach the time storm. And that means..." He looked meaningfully at the time travellers.
Within the funnel, the heroes had fallen. Only Hanzo Hattori had escaped the onslaught, and only temporarily - the gathered villains were bearing down on the ninja, determined to capture him and tie him to the ruins of Doom's time machine. "It's over, human," Megatron snarled, transforming to tank mode. He levelled his barrel at Hanzo. "Surrender to the inevitable!"
Something small, round and yellow rocketed through the winds and plugged Megatron's barrel. The Decepticon leader's shot backfired, hurtling him away and dropping the smoking yellow plug onto the ground. It smiled. "That was fun," Gadget's head whooped. "Come on, guys - let's cream 'em!"
The time travellers stepped out of the tornado and, making good use of the element of surprise, attacked.
Escorpio Azul jack-hammered and pinned MODOK and Abomination. Gadget swarmed over the Battle Droids while Hanzo - buoyed by the reinforcements - took down Slash. Zeke and Patrick's sharp-shooting made short work of Megatron and Blitzwing, severing vital cables so the robots shorted out. And Henry Ugh Jr made a good first impression by dropping Gorilla Grodd with a swift shot to the monkey nuts. Working as a team, they also managed to free the imprisoned heroes. "Just in time," the Hulk sighed. "Hulk have to potty!" The jade giant quickly made himself scarce.
The others formed a massive group and closed in on Doom. "It's too late," the lord of Latveria cried, half-crazed by the situation. "You're all too, too late! The world is ending, everyone is going to die! There's not a thing you can do about it! There's nothing anyone can do! We've broken time, yes, but who could fix it? Who?"
VWORP. VWORP. VWORP.
With a grinding of gears and a shuddering of space-time, a small blue box materialised amongst the combatants. Old hinges squeaked as a wooden door opened, and out stepped a tall, thin man dressed in blue and tan. He was handsome (in a geeky sort of way), with interesting hair and a thoughtful look on his face. He clucked his tongue once.
"Well now," he said, taking a deep breath. "Having some problems, are we? I was just popping 'round to see how things were - like to keep an eye on the place, you know - and I saw this great big bubble in the fabric of the universe. Never a good thing, those bubbles, so I came down to get up close." He looked Hanzo, Gadget and the other time travellers up and down. "Look at you," he beamed, a goofy grin splitting his face. "Ninjas and crash test dummies and, oh, even a caveman! Good for you, you're beautiful!" He glanced at Doom and shuddered. "Not so much you, though. Tailoring by Mondas, I assume?"
Doom spluttered. "Who are you?"
"I'm the Doctor."
"But that's my title!"
Hanzo stepped forward. "Please," he said, "if you are able to stop this madness, help us. Our allies are trapped on the other side of the storm and cannot join us, nor can they halt this destruction."
Pulling on his brainy specs, the Doctor began to examine the ruined time machine. "See, now, there's your problem," he announced, pointing vigorously at some twisted metal. "Sub-standard flux capacitors! If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen a home-made time machine with dodgy flux capacitors I'd... well, I'd have a dollar. 'Cause normally, no one's stupid enough to make something like this! Who designed this piece of rubbish?"
"I did!" Doom cried indignantly.
"Explains just about everything, really," the Doctor sniffed.
"My mother says I'm a genius," Doom muttered darkly.
With a whirr, a click and a few beams of blue light, the Doctor's sonic screwdriver pulled the flux capacitor into shape. The screeching, whirling winds of the time tornado died down, granting the other heroes access to the broken machinery. Batman and the others swarmed around Doom.
"You're all mad," the tyrant boomed, "to think this can be stopped! But, on the off chance you're right, then I will wait in my castle... and then conquer whatever of this world remains!" He ignited his boot jets and took off.
Iron Man moved to follow, but Optimus Prime stopped him. "We have bigger problems, Tony," the Autobot leader said, pointing to the sky. Freed from its moorings, the time storm had worsened and spread. Gravity and other fundamental, natural forces began to fail. The heroes huddled under the remnants of Doom's tower.
Green Lantern's ring made a pinging noise. "Time Lord?" he asked, puzzled by its read-out of the Doctor's biology. "But they're just a myth."
"I get that a lot," the Doctor yelled over the din. "But never mind that - I need to get up there, and the TARDIS doesn't do so well with atmospheric flight. Anyone got a spaceship handy?"
Chewbacca growled, then barked into his communicator. In seconds, the familiar shape of the Millennium Falcon appeared overhead.
"A YT-1300 light freighter," the Doctor enthused. "And it's still running! Aw, that's brilliant."
Han Solo landed and was brought up to speed. "She can handle the time storm," he said, patting the ship affectionately. "You're talking about the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "A parsec's a measure of distance, you know, not time."
"Shh!" Han hissed. "I know that, but they don't!"
In a few moments, they were ready for take-off. The Doctor climbed atop the ship's hull after first removing its quad-cannons ("Never was much for guns," he explained) and worked feverishly to convert the Falcon's radar dish into a time-sealing beam emitter. He hung on grimly as the ship drew closer to the fiery centre of the storm.
As the heroes watched breathlessly from below, the Doctor and Han managed to close the space-time rift. The time storm shrieked, groaned and protested, but it stopped. As if sullen and resentful, it fired one last bolt of lightning as it faded away - one that struck the Falcon and sent the Doctor over the side and into the air!
There was one final, blinding flash to finish the adventure; it was Iron Man, streaking into the sky to catch the falling Time Lord. "Sorry about the bruises," he quipped, "this armour wasn't built for catching people."
They were greeted, on the ground, with cheers and applause. The heroes gathered around the Doctor and tried to thank him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He was in the midst of rebuffing their platitudes when Hanzo quietly asked: "If you are a time traveller, then you will take us home?"
"Ah," said the Doctor, looking forlorn. "I'd really like to, you know, but I can't. One of the things about being a Time Lord is that I can see time, both how it is and how it ought to be. And you lot, you... mysterious seven... all of your personal time-lines converge here. Now. In this era. You need to be here, and I can't interfere with that." He sighed. "I'm really, really sorry." Then he brightened. "Long past time I was off, then," he cried, stepping into the TARDIS with a wave. A moment later, the strange craft dematerialised, leaving the heroes alone.
Leonardo approached Hanzo. "I'm sorry," he offered.
Hanzo shut his eyes tightly, then opened them and stood tall. "If this is destiny," he said softly, "then I will accept it, and trust it will lead me home one day. Until then," he turned to the others, "I feel we must answer honour's call and do all we can to protect this time. Are you with me?"
Escorpio Azul stepped forward. "My mask, and my service, are yours, mi amigo," he said, flourishing his cape.
"Ugh help," the caveman said. "This am nice place. Safe, because everything already invented. Me like."
"Time is nothing to a magician," the Illusioneer mused. "I answer the call to arms."
"As do I," said Forest Hunter. "In this time, my legend has been wrongly attributed to another. Thus shall I make my name here and now!"
"You fellers are gonna need some country-style help," Zeke drawled, "and ain't no one better for that than me. I'm in, pardners."
Gadget grinned. "All of you, working together?" he asked. "Heavens... I could get shot and bashed and cut and clubbed and shafted and maybe even turned into a frog. I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
Hanzo nodded approvingly. "Then we are what the Doctor called us," he said. "We are the Mysterious Seven!"
---------- THE END ----------
Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF