Two most egg-cellent adventures
Australia is enjoying a five-day long weekend, thanks to the combination of Good Friday, Easter Sunday and ANZAC Day. Our family's manifesto for the break is pretty simple. Heck, we didn't even get out of our pajamas until 5pm!
But just because we're kicking back, relaxing, eating good food, reading great comics and watching wonderful movies (yay for Tron: Legacy's DVD release!) doesn't mean we can't be imaginative. LJ's brain has been practically exploding with high-concept adventures that just scream to be played. So the lion's share of our day was given over to adventuring... and my oh my, what tales they were!
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Super Hero City had faced - and survived - many enemies in its time, but none were as tough as the Federal Government. The Mayor had been summoned to the national capital to explain, to the President, why his city should be allowed to continue existing. With its plethora of super villains, alien robots, monsters and other dangers, the government believed the city had become a hazard to its people and to the entire world, and were considering declaring it a "no man's land" and evacuating its population.
The Mayor still believed in the city, however, and so rounded up a delegation to fight for its survival. He and Nick Fury were accompanied by the Super Hero Squad - Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk and Thor - and the Justice League - Superman, Batman, Flash, Aquaman and Green Lantern John Stewart. "They'll listen to us," the Mayor said. "They just have to!"
Their convoy, made up of the Helicarrier, Batmobile and Batwing, soon came to a narrow pass. That's where the Imperial AT-AT attacked - and it was manned by the Sinister Seven! The heroes rose to the challenge and the opposing forces collided in battle... blinding them to Doctor Octopus' true master-plan.
Obscured by the fracas, Sandman slithered inside the workings of the vehicles and installed special chips that brought them under Octopus' control. The heroes' greatest weapons had been turned into their foe's newest arms! Caught off-guard, the good guys were decimated by their amazing machines and quickly interred in a power-negating cage of Octopus' design.
Only Captain America escaped the onslaught. Falling back on his training, the super-soldier stealthily crept toward Hero Headquarters and reinforcements. He was, sadly, too late. Venom had been given operation of the Batwing, and used its console to activate the security lock-down master control for the mansion. The rest of the heroes were trapped inside, helpless to assist their friends.
With the Mayor as their hostage, and armed with the most powerful weaponry known to man, the Seven laid waste to Super Hero City. Police, fire and ambulance officers fell before them. Buildings were toppled, and skyscrapers collapsed. Though the odds were against him, Captain America stood bravely against the malevolent villains. "As long as I'm standing," he declared, "the city will stand!"
Meanwhile, the Squaddies and Leaguers pondered their dilemma. "Powerless," Superman reminded them, "doesn't mean hopeless. Together, we'll figure out a way to escape!" The trick, they discovered, was to fool the sensors that controlled the power-sapping machinery. Each hero picked a sensor and overloaded it with stimuli - noise, bad jokes, frantic motion, air-guitar solos - until it exploded from the strain. Freed and re-powered, the teams made all speed for the city.
He'd fought a valiant battle, but not even a super-soldier could stand alone against seven monstrous villains. With a mean laugh, Rhino hurled Cap onto the deck of the Helicarrier and into the range of its guns. Doctor Octopus smiled evilly. "You must have known it was always going to end like this," he sneered. One of his arms snaked out and took Cap's shield. "I shall keep this as a memento of your heroism... and a warning, to any who oppose us, of what will happen to them. Any last words, hero?"
Cap looked up at Octopus, then past him into the sky... and smiled. "Just two," he gasped. "Avengers Assemble!"
Thor's lightning scattered the villains, and was followed by the Hulk's cataclysmic impact. The villains struggled to regroup, but the heroes wanted to divide and conquer. Rhino foolishly tried to ram Superman, and was knocked unconscious against the Kryptonian's mighty chest. Flash clipped the Vulture's wings, Thor over-charged Electro like a cheap battery, Green Lantern dusted Sandman and an armada of sea creatures left Venom soggy at Aquaman's feet. At first, the Hulk was flummoxed by the Shocker - whose suit absorbed his powerful blows - but then the jade giant opened a fissure in the earth. It filled with the water left by Aquaman's friends and, suspended in liquid, the Shocker could not withstand the Hulk's attack.
Raging, Doctor Octopus ordered the vehicles to attack. Iron Man shot down the Batwing ("hey, stop wrecking my stuff!" Batman cried), while the Caped Crusader overpowered and re-wired the Batmobile. Fury staged a one-man siege of the AT-AT, freeing the captive Mayor and taking control of the behemoth's arsenal. Its cannons tore through the Helicarrier's engines, bringing the SHIELD vessel back down to Earth with a crash.
Octopus was trapped beneath the wreckage, all but one of his metal arms pinned. It waved Cap's shield feebly until the super-soldier took it back and used it to knock the villain out. The day was saved and the battle was won, but the Mayor was despondent. "This is exactly the sort of thing the government was talking about," he sighed heavily. "We'll never convince them to leave the city open now!"
At that moment, his mobile phone rang. He answered it despondently... but his mood quickly rose. "That was the President," he whooped after hanging up. "He said Cap's heroics were 'an inspiration to the nation' and that the city can stay open! He said other towns should learn from our example, and that Super Hero City is a beacon of goodness and teamwork! Yee-hah!"
Despite his pain and his injuries, Cap smiled. "I'm happy," he said, "but next time there's a problem with the government, let's just go talk to them. It'll be easier on me."
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The villains were on a tear, and the Super Hero Squad - Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Thor, Hulk, Silver Surfer and Falcon - had responded to their evil deeds. Something was, however, very wrong about the battle. Normally Red Skull, Green Goblin, Venom, Sandman, Electro, Abomination, Crimson Dynamo and Vulture were tough adversaries who fought to the end. This time, however, they were collapsing as soon as they were hit. It was almost as if they were throwing the fight. Too late, Cap's keen tactical mind warned him of the danger. "Heroes, look out!" he yelled. "This is a..."
In a flash of brilliant light, the Cosmic Cube flared to life - and everything changed.
Not that it was immediately apparent. As per usual, Iron Man placed a call to SHIELD. Nick Fury arrived in the Helicarrier to cart the villains to Arkham Asylum. It was only after the super-spy left that Iron Man threw back his head... and let loose a high-pitched Goblin laugh!
"Your plan, Red Skull, worked brilliantly," Iron Man cackled.
"You're too kind, Green Goblin," Captain America answered. "This was, after all, a team effort worthy of our new bodies."
Horribly, the villains had swapped bodies with the heroes! Green Goblin was Iron Man, Venom was Spider-Man ("Bro's going to hate this"), Sandman was Wolverine ("love these claws, guys"), Electro was Thor ("now we'll see who gets overloaded"), Abomination was Hulk ("finally, his power is all mine!"), Crimson Dynamo was Silver Surfer ("it's like my skin is armour") and Vulture was Falcon ("so young... so wonderfully vital and young!"). The transformation was so complete that JARVIS, the Iron Man supercomputer, obeyed Goblin unquestioningly and Redwing, Falcon's pet, had no idea he was taking orders from Vulture!
The "Dark Avengers" had pulled off the scheme of the century. And they weren't done yet. Electro/Thor trapped Villainville within an Asgardian ruin-storm. Dynamo/Surfer used the Power Cosmic to rip Hero Headquarters from its foundations and throw it into orbit. With no one to stop them... or steal their thunder... the demented misfits blew the Helicarrier out of the sky, jailed Nick Fury and stormed Super Hero City. "Anything we do gets blamed on the heroes," Abomination/Hulk crowed. "Not that it really matters 'cause, very soon, the whole world's going to be ours!"
In the bowels of Arkham Asylum, the transformed heroes awoke to their worst nightmares. Falcon was trapped in an old man's body, Iron Man had been stripped of his tech, Spidey was once again enveloped by the symbiote (which, like Redwing, hadn't registered the body-swap) and Cap was, to his horror, wearing the frame of a genocidal madman. Fury, terrified, wouldn't come anywhere near them. Confusion reigned until the still-imprisoned Starscream spoke up.
"It's a body swap, you morons," he sighed wearily. "You know, the sort of thing we bad guys try every week? We lure you into a battle, hit you with some sort of ray or machine that makes everything go screwy, have fun until you figure it out, then get bashed by you and locked up in here." He yawned. "I'm going to go take a stasis nap. Wake me when you're you and they're them again, okay?"
With Fury back on-side (Cap/Skull and Wolverine/Sandman told war stories until he was convinced of their identities), the heroes deactivated Arkham's defence and slipped outside. Severely handicapped by the unfamiliarity of their new power-sets, they wondered aloud how they'd save the day. Wolverine/Sandman solved the problem. "We don't like to talk about it, but we all know heroes have weaknesses," he said. "And who knows our weaknesses better than us? Let's attack ourselves in the ways only we know, bring those jerks down and figure out how to swap back later!"
Super Hero City, so recently repaired, was in ruins once again. Skull/Cap held the poor Mayor hostage ("you're supposed to be heroes, why are you doing this?") while his cronies lay waste to everything around them. Thankfully, the super-villains arrived to save the day!
Venom used his greater strength and immunity to spider-sense to crush the web-slinger ("ooh, I'm gonna feel that when this is all fixed"), while Sandman plugged Wolverine's ears, nose and mouth with grit ("you can heal, bub, but if you can't breathe you can't fight"). Abomination told awful jokes until Hulk laughed himself back into Bruce Banner. Electro absorbed all of Thor's lightning and, knowing how to use it properly, zapped the hero until he was out.
Vulture was no match for Falcon's speed and youth, but he knew how to talk to Redwing properly... and the bird turned on its "master" in favour of its true friend. Green Goblin's glider was no match for Iron Man's speed, but a well-placed razor-rang popped out the hero's mechanical heart and switched off his armour. Crimson Dynamo grabbed Silver Surfer and took him into orbit. The exiled heroes were waiting in their Power Cosmic prison, and Guy Gardner lashed out. The barrier did not break, but it bent - delivering an Oan/Cosmic double-whammy that sent Surfer plummeting to Earth. "My weakness," Surfer/Dynamo said, "is that Guy Gardner will never really trust me."
That left just Captain America and Red Skull. The eternal enemies clashed with renewed fervour because moral lines had been crossed. Cap/Skull channeled his disgust into a fury of blows that tested even Skull/Cap's heightened endurance. Skull/Cap lost patience and pulled out the Cosmic Cube, ready to blast Cap/Skull to atoms. That was exactly what the transformed hero had been waiting for. He picked up a smooth, round piece of rubble and hurled it like his shield at the infernal device.
In a flash of brilliant light, the Cosmic Cube flared to life once again - and, once again, everything changed.
As one, the defeated heroes rose up and blasted their stunned, unprepared enemies. The bad guys fell with nary a peep, having been caught completely off-guard. A shadow loomed over the battlefield as Fury and the repaired Helicarrier came onto the scene. "Everybody freeze," the super-spy ordered, training his many guns on the combatants, "until I figure out who's in which body!"
"Here we go again," Captain America, back in his own body, rolled his eyes.
"I'd laugh about it," Iron Man whispered, "but I'm afraid Nick would think I'm the Goblin and shoot!"
Explanations were made, apologies were offered, headquarters were returned to Earth, ruin-storms ceased and villains were imprisoned. Life returned to normal... well, what passed for normal in Super Hero City. The good guys breathed loud sighs of relief and celebrated, happy to be themselves again. Hulk seemed especially happy.
"Didn't like being that weakling Abomination," he sniffed. "When Hulk wants to be weak, he'll let Banner out for a walk. At least Banner's not ugly or smelly."
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Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF
But just because we're kicking back, relaxing, eating good food, reading great comics and watching wonderful movies (yay for Tron: Legacy's DVD release!) doesn't mean we can't be imaginative. LJ's brain has been practically exploding with high-concept adventures that just scream to be played. So the lion's share of our day was given over to adventuring... and my oh my, what tales they were!
----------
Super Hero City had faced - and survived - many enemies in its time, but none were as tough as the Federal Government. The Mayor had been summoned to the national capital to explain, to the President, why his city should be allowed to continue existing. With its plethora of super villains, alien robots, monsters and other dangers, the government believed the city had become a hazard to its people and to the entire world, and were considering declaring it a "no man's land" and evacuating its population.
The Mayor still believed in the city, however, and so rounded up a delegation to fight for its survival. He and Nick Fury were accompanied by the Super Hero Squad - Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk and Thor - and the Justice League - Superman, Batman, Flash, Aquaman and Green Lantern John Stewart. "They'll listen to us," the Mayor said. "They just have to!"
Their convoy, made up of the Helicarrier, Batmobile and Batwing, soon came to a narrow pass. That's where the Imperial AT-AT attacked - and it was manned by the Sinister Seven! The heroes rose to the challenge and the opposing forces collided in battle... blinding them to Doctor Octopus' true master-plan.
Obscured by the fracas, Sandman slithered inside the workings of the vehicles and installed special chips that brought them under Octopus' control. The heroes' greatest weapons had been turned into their foe's newest arms! Caught off-guard, the good guys were decimated by their amazing machines and quickly interred in a power-negating cage of Octopus' design.
Only Captain America escaped the onslaught. Falling back on his training, the super-soldier stealthily crept toward Hero Headquarters and reinforcements. He was, sadly, too late. Venom had been given operation of the Batwing, and used its console to activate the security lock-down master control for the mansion. The rest of the heroes were trapped inside, helpless to assist their friends.
With the Mayor as their hostage, and armed with the most powerful weaponry known to man, the Seven laid waste to Super Hero City. Police, fire and ambulance officers fell before them. Buildings were toppled, and skyscrapers collapsed. Though the odds were against him, Captain America stood bravely against the malevolent villains. "As long as I'm standing," he declared, "the city will stand!"
Meanwhile, the Squaddies and Leaguers pondered their dilemma. "Powerless," Superman reminded them, "doesn't mean hopeless. Together, we'll figure out a way to escape!" The trick, they discovered, was to fool the sensors that controlled the power-sapping machinery. Each hero picked a sensor and overloaded it with stimuli - noise, bad jokes, frantic motion, air-guitar solos - until it exploded from the strain. Freed and re-powered, the teams made all speed for the city.
He'd fought a valiant battle, but not even a super-soldier could stand alone against seven monstrous villains. With a mean laugh, Rhino hurled Cap onto the deck of the Helicarrier and into the range of its guns. Doctor Octopus smiled evilly. "You must have known it was always going to end like this," he sneered. One of his arms snaked out and took Cap's shield. "I shall keep this as a memento of your heroism... and a warning, to any who oppose us, of what will happen to them. Any last words, hero?"
Cap looked up at Octopus, then past him into the sky... and smiled. "Just two," he gasped. "Avengers Assemble!"
Thor's lightning scattered the villains, and was followed by the Hulk's cataclysmic impact. The villains struggled to regroup, but the heroes wanted to divide and conquer. Rhino foolishly tried to ram Superman, and was knocked unconscious against the Kryptonian's mighty chest. Flash clipped the Vulture's wings, Thor over-charged Electro like a cheap battery, Green Lantern dusted Sandman and an armada of sea creatures left Venom soggy at Aquaman's feet. At first, the Hulk was flummoxed by the Shocker - whose suit absorbed his powerful blows - but then the jade giant opened a fissure in the earth. It filled with the water left by Aquaman's friends and, suspended in liquid, the Shocker could not withstand the Hulk's attack.
Raging, Doctor Octopus ordered the vehicles to attack. Iron Man shot down the Batwing ("hey, stop wrecking my stuff!" Batman cried), while the Caped Crusader overpowered and re-wired the Batmobile. Fury staged a one-man siege of the AT-AT, freeing the captive Mayor and taking control of the behemoth's arsenal. Its cannons tore through the Helicarrier's engines, bringing the SHIELD vessel back down to Earth with a crash.
Octopus was trapped beneath the wreckage, all but one of his metal arms pinned. It waved Cap's shield feebly until the super-soldier took it back and used it to knock the villain out. The day was saved and the battle was won, but the Mayor was despondent. "This is exactly the sort of thing the government was talking about," he sighed heavily. "We'll never convince them to leave the city open now!"
At that moment, his mobile phone rang. He answered it despondently... but his mood quickly rose. "That was the President," he whooped after hanging up. "He said Cap's heroics were 'an inspiration to the nation' and that the city can stay open! He said other towns should learn from our example, and that Super Hero City is a beacon of goodness and teamwork! Yee-hah!"
Despite his pain and his injuries, Cap smiled. "I'm happy," he said, "but next time there's a problem with the government, let's just go talk to them. It'll be easier on me."
----------
The villains were on a tear, and the Super Hero Squad - Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Thor, Hulk, Silver Surfer and Falcon - had responded to their evil deeds. Something was, however, very wrong about the battle. Normally Red Skull, Green Goblin, Venom, Sandman, Electro, Abomination, Crimson Dynamo and Vulture were tough adversaries who fought to the end. This time, however, they were collapsing as soon as they were hit. It was almost as if they were throwing the fight. Too late, Cap's keen tactical mind warned him of the danger. "Heroes, look out!" he yelled. "This is a..."
In a flash of brilliant light, the Cosmic Cube flared to life - and everything changed.
Not that it was immediately apparent. As per usual, Iron Man placed a call to SHIELD. Nick Fury arrived in the Helicarrier to cart the villains to Arkham Asylum. It was only after the super-spy left that Iron Man threw back his head... and let loose a high-pitched Goblin laugh!
"Your plan, Red Skull, worked brilliantly," Iron Man cackled.
"You're too kind, Green Goblin," Captain America answered. "This was, after all, a team effort worthy of our new bodies."
Horribly, the villains had swapped bodies with the heroes! Green Goblin was Iron Man, Venom was Spider-Man ("Bro's going to hate this"), Sandman was Wolverine ("love these claws, guys"), Electro was Thor ("now we'll see who gets overloaded"), Abomination was Hulk ("finally, his power is all mine!"), Crimson Dynamo was Silver Surfer ("it's like my skin is armour") and Vulture was Falcon ("so young... so wonderfully vital and young!"). The transformation was so complete that JARVIS, the Iron Man supercomputer, obeyed Goblin unquestioningly and Redwing, Falcon's pet, had no idea he was taking orders from Vulture!
The "Dark Avengers" had pulled off the scheme of the century. And they weren't done yet. Electro/Thor trapped Villainville within an Asgardian ruin-storm. Dynamo/Surfer used the Power Cosmic to rip Hero Headquarters from its foundations and throw it into orbit. With no one to stop them... or steal their thunder... the demented misfits blew the Helicarrier out of the sky, jailed Nick Fury and stormed Super Hero City. "Anything we do gets blamed on the heroes," Abomination/Hulk crowed. "Not that it really matters 'cause, very soon, the whole world's going to be ours!"
In the bowels of Arkham Asylum, the transformed heroes awoke to their worst nightmares. Falcon was trapped in an old man's body, Iron Man had been stripped of his tech, Spidey was once again enveloped by the symbiote (which, like Redwing, hadn't registered the body-swap) and Cap was, to his horror, wearing the frame of a genocidal madman. Fury, terrified, wouldn't come anywhere near them. Confusion reigned until the still-imprisoned Starscream spoke up.
"It's a body swap, you morons," he sighed wearily. "You know, the sort of thing we bad guys try every week? We lure you into a battle, hit you with some sort of ray or machine that makes everything go screwy, have fun until you figure it out, then get bashed by you and locked up in here." He yawned. "I'm going to go take a stasis nap. Wake me when you're you and they're them again, okay?"
With Fury back on-side (Cap/Skull and Wolverine/Sandman told war stories until he was convinced of their identities), the heroes deactivated Arkham's defence and slipped outside. Severely handicapped by the unfamiliarity of their new power-sets, they wondered aloud how they'd save the day. Wolverine/Sandman solved the problem. "We don't like to talk about it, but we all know heroes have weaknesses," he said. "And who knows our weaknesses better than us? Let's attack ourselves in the ways only we know, bring those jerks down and figure out how to swap back later!"
Super Hero City, so recently repaired, was in ruins once again. Skull/Cap held the poor Mayor hostage ("you're supposed to be heroes, why are you doing this?") while his cronies lay waste to everything around them. Thankfully, the super-villains arrived to save the day!
Venom used his greater strength and immunity to spider-sense to crush the web-slinger ("ooh, I'm gonna feel that when this is all fixed"), while Sandman plugged Wolverine's ears, nose and mouth with grit ("you can heal, bub, but if you can't breathe you can't fight"). Abomination told awful jokes until Hulk laughed himself back into Bruce Banner. Electro absorbed all of Thor's lightning and, knowing how to use it properly, zapped the hero until he was out.
Vulture was no match for Falcon's speed and youth, but he knew how to talk to Redwing properly... and the bird turned on its "master" in favour of its true friend. Green Goblin's glider was no match for Iron Man's speed, but a well-placed razor-rang popped out the hero's mechanical heart and switched off his armour. Crimson Dynamo grabbed Silver Surfer and took him into orbit. The exiled heroes were waiting in their Power Cosmic prison, and Guy Gardner lashed out. The barrier did not break, but it bent - delivering an Oan/Cosmic double-whammy that sent Surfer plummeting to Earth. "My weakness," Surfer/Dynamo said, "is that Guy Gardner will never really trust me."
That left just Captain America and Red Skull. The eternal enemies clashed with renewed fervour because moral lines had been crossed. Cap/Skull channeled his disgust into a fury of blows that tested even Skull/Cap's heightened endurance. Skull/Cap lost patience and pulled out the Cosmic Cube, ready to blast Cap/Skull to atoms. That was exactly what the transformed hero had been waiting for. He picked up a smooth, round piece of rubble and hurled it like his shield at the infernal device.
In a flash of brilliant light, the Cosmic Cube flared to life once again - and, once again, everything changed.
As one, the defeated heroes rose up and blasted their stunned, unprepared enemies. The bad guys fell with nary a peep, having been caught completely off-guard. A shadow loomed over the battlefield as Fury and the repaired Helicarrier came onto the scene. "Everybody freeze," the super-spy ordered, training his many guns on the combatants, "until I figure out who's in which body!"
"Here we go again," Captain America, back in his own body, rolled his eyes.
"I'd laugh about it," Iron Man whispered, "but I'm afraid Nick would think I'm the Goblin and shoot!"
Explanations were made, apologies were offered, headquarters were returned to Earth, ruin-storms ceased and villains were imprisoned. Life returned to normal... well, what passed for normal in Super Hero City. The good guys breathed loud sighs of relief and celebrated, happy to be themselves again. Hulk seemed especially happy.
"Didn't like being that weakling Abomination," he sniffed. "When Hulk wants to be weak, he'll let Banner out for a walk. At least Banner's not ugly or smelly."
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Greet the Fire as Your Friend,
SF