Deep sympathies -- and understanding. Just about ten years ago, I took my then-husband and stepson on a long-planned vacation down to California. The marriage ended shortly after that, partly because he kept calling his girlfriend from the road . . . which isn't the point of this little anecdote, but gives some added flavour to the tale
( ... )
I think a lot of racism of this type does come from fear, irrational though it may be. People tend to be afraid of things they don't understand, so sure, if you're not going to even attempt to try and undrstand a culture, fear and misunderstanding is inevitable.
However, showing that fear in this way and using such derogatory terms is just not acceptable.
Like my dad's fear that "they're taking over the world". Moron.
Re the sexism thing...we notice this most at the Indian restaurant we go to regularly. The staff are all male and will always, always speak to OH first, take his order first and expect him to be paying. It's a little annoying, but I understand that it's just a cultural difference and I can deal with it.
The dippy blonde he traded me in for actually did me a huge favour,Good on you for being so philosophical about it! I don't think I could be. It still hurts that my first boyfriend traded me in for a younger model when I was only 18! Lol! (she was 14!! He was 19. Er...
( ... )
Philosophical? It was ten years ago . . . time enough for some recovery. I was very badly damaged at the time, and honestly didn't think I'd really recover. Most of the credit for that goes to my partner.
Ever run into the term "catastrophisation"? That's the tendency to aggrandise the negative, so that the car that drove past you "Just barely missed hitting me!", the busy salesperson who didn't return your smile "Was totally rude and mean, I bet she hates everyone". And when you call up two garages to ask for a quote on the brakes, they're both run by people with accents, so "Those Pakis are taking over the world!" :P
Can I add to that? When you go with your family (husband and two children) hiking in a wood and one single man is coming from behind, he SO wants to rob you. That's my mother. She has the ability to destroy an otherwise happy holidy with such thinking, making us linger till he disappeared. We were four people against one. Rational? Don't think so.
Oh, and when I told her last year I was flying to Vancouver, her first comment was: "Don't you think I am going at a plane to visit you there in hospital" because, of course, the plane was meant to crash. Very uplifting. Haven't told her yet that I am going back next year again, I don't want a whole year of hearing things like this.
I try to see the positive things in the world, and pretty much ignore the bad ones. I don't think you can live a life always expecting the worst to happen. That way you never would leave your apartment. I also have a co-worker - nothing she buys is good enough, nothing she eats is tasteful enough and she gripes on and on, and I'm sick of hearing it.
*sigh* bloody swine flu. i'm absolutely sick of it. they've stopped testing people over here - the pathologists were just getting completely inundated with tests and it was taking over 2 weeks for results- that sort of thing. but *grumble* really - the panicking and demanding testing is not helping anybody. had to explain all of this to .... maybe 20 patients yesterday - and looking forward to another 20 today :P
Ugh. They've stopped testing here too. Over the phone diagnosis and advising to stay inside and keep rested and hydrated if you get it. I think the biggest problem is that the general public just don't know what's happening and the media are scaring everyone. We're getting bulletins at work almost daily keeping us updated on what's happening, what the future plans are, what advice to give people...but I don't think Joe Bloggs is getting that info! Hence, mass panic! Ugh.
as for the ashes - ....
i can't say anything
The glee and gloating won't last long, I'm sure of it (such faith in our team!), but we will milk every little bit of joy out of this (ever heard an English footie fan banging on about 1966? LOL). So I'm just gonna point and laugh for a little bit, k? :D I'm sure you'll get your own back...
oh i swear - if there was ANY chance of the aussie media listening to me i'd beg them to stop this panic campaign they've got going. had about 30 people calling today about collegues who might have it so their bosses are demanding they all get checked out so THEY all freak out and ... yeah
lol gloat/point/laugh away - i don't mind. i figure you might as well get it in while you can - cause we're going to win in the end *shrug* :P
first: the same way canadian doesn't exist. we're all american since we live on the american continent... second: ...I was pissed at a specific person... unfortuantely the bastard (tats generalizing too really, the term bastard once meant oh unmarried parents which is nothing to insult over...) pissed me off enough that the sound of hs voice, and on bad das, by extension, his accent or anything close to it, makes my teeth clench... third: -rolls eyes- yeah. generalizing is so easy.
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I think a lot of racism of this type does come from fear, irrational though it may be. People tend to be afraid of things they don't understand, so sure, if you're not going to even attempt to try and undrstand a culture, fear and misunderstanding is inevitable.
However, showing that fear in this way and using such derogatory terms is just not acceptable.
Like my dad's fear that "they're taking over the world". Moron.
Re the sexism thing...we notice this most at the Indian restaurant we go to regularly. The staff are all male and will always, always speak to OH first, take his order first and expect him to be paying. It's a little annoying, but I understand that it's just a cultural difference and I can deal with it.
The dippy blonde he traded me in for actually did me a huge favour,Good on you for being so philosophical about it! I don't think I could be. It still hurts that my first boyfriend traded me in for a younger model when I was only 18! Lol! (she was 14!! He was 19. Er... ( ... )
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Ever run into the term "catastrophisation"? That's the tendency to aggrandise the negative, so that the car that drove past you "Just barely missed hitting me!", the busy salesperson who didn't return your smile "Was totally rude and mean, I bet she hates everyone". And when you call up two garages to ask for a quote on the brakes, they're both run by people with accents, so "Those Pakis are taking over the world!" :P
Funny how rarely we aggrandise the positive . . .
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Oh, and when I told her last year I was flying to Vancouver, her first comment was: "Don't you think I am going at a plane to visit you there in hospital" because, of course, the plane was meant to crash. Very uplifting. Haven't told her yet that I am going back next year again, I don't want a whole year of hearing things like this.
I try to see the positive things in the world, and pretty much ignore the bad ones. I don't think you can live a life always expecting the worst to happen. That way you never would leave your apartment. I also have a co-worker - nothing she buys is good enough, nothing she eats is tasteful enough and she gripes on and on, and I'm sick of hearing it.
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they've stopped testing people over here - the pathologists were just getting completely inundated with tests and it was taking over 2 weeks for results- that sort of thing. but *grumble* really - the panicking and demanding testing is not helping anybody.
had to explain all of this to .... maybe 20 patients yesterday - and looking forward to another 20 today :P
as for the ashes - ....
i can't say anything
Reply
as for the ashes - ....
i can't say anything
The glee and gloating won't last long, I'm sure of it (such faith in our team!), but we will milk every little bit of joy out of this (ever heard an English footie fan banging on about 1966? LOL). So I'm just gonna point and laugh for a little bit, k? :D I'm sure you'll get your own back...
Reply
lol gloat/point/laugh away - i don't mind. i figure you might as well get it in while you can - cause we're going to win in the end *shrug* :P
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first: the same way canadian doesn't exist. we're all american since we live on the american continent...
second: ...I was pissed at a specific person... unfortuantely the bastard (tats generalizing too really, the term bastard once meant oh unmarried parents which is nothing to insult over...) pissed me off enough that the sound of hs voice, and on bad das, by extension, his accent or anything close to it, makes my teeth clench...
third: -rolls eyes- yeah. generalizing is so easy.
ugh. -goes to hide in a happier place-
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