"Sweetie?" came a familiar, soft voice from the doorway of his room.
When he looks up he would see a frontal view of Kaylee standing there, one hand on the door the other on the opposite outside wall. She had engine grease on her face as usual and her hair was up in a loose bun because she was finishing her work on Serenity when River came to tell her that Simon might need to talk to her. Of course, River didn't tell her why, just that Simon needed her. So, she came as quickly as she could.
[Hey, sweet! KK. Have a good night sleep and I should be on around 7:30 my time until about 12 cause of a doctor's appointment. But, I will be back after that. *hugs*]
He's so out of it, that her voice doesn't even register at first. He's still a bit shell-shocked, we apologize. After a few moments, in which Kaylee might have repeated herself, he finally glances up.
He smiles, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. He tears the messed-up page out of his journal with a sigh and crumples it up, closing the book and puttig it aside.
Now, she is really worried because she never had to repeat herself to get his attention. Ever. And the smile not reaching his eyes, made her worry even more. Her thoughts go to the Captain.....
She walks inside and sits on the side of his bed and puts a comforting hand on his leg. "You ok, sweetie?"
She huffs. "I care deeply for River, Simon and I don't see how bein' in love threatens 'er well-bein'! It might just threaten hers just as much as MINE!" she stands than. "Love ain't supposed t'be questioned, Simon and I'm sorry that you think it should."
"Kaylee, I question it because Jayne sold me and River out to the Feds on Ariel. It's his fault that we got captured. It's his fault that Early found us in the dead of nowhere. That bastard Bounty Hunter tracked us from Ariel, which should never have happened!"
She shakes her head. "But, everythin' turned out alright, Simon! Why can't you look past all that! Life ain't about livin' in the past. Look at everythin' that has happened! River and Jayne deserve to be happy too cause they love each other. Why can't love heal all that hurt?" The tears were starting to form in her eyes.
Kaylee and tears is a combination that always destroys Simon. He hates seeing her cry.
All he can do is answer, "I don't know yet. I need some time...and space...to deal with this on my own terms. Just...please...I don't want to fight about this."
He nods against her shoulder and lets the hug linger a bit. Now that he's holding her, he doesn't want to let go, but he knows that if she stays, it may just end up going from bad to worse again.
Slowly, he relaxes his hold on her, until he's running his hands up and down her arms lightly and looking down at her.
"You can go, love. I'll be okay." And he thinks he might believe it this time, too.
He watches her go, emotions all jumbled up. Once more, he closes his eyes with a sigh. Once she's gone, he leans back against the wall and sinks to the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest.
He rests his forearms on his knees, hands clasped, then lets his head rest against his arms, which is where he stays for a long, long time.
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When he looks up he would see a frontal view of Kaylee standing there, one hand on the door the other on the opposite outside wall. She had engine grease on her face as usual and her hair was up in a loose bun because she was finishing her work on Serenity when River came to tell her that Simon might need to talk to her. Of course, River didn't tell her why, just that Simon needed her. So, she came as quickly as she could.
[Hey, sweet! KK. Have a good night sleep and I should be on around 7:30 my time until about 12 cause of a doctor's appointment. But, I will be back after that. *hugs*]
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He smiles, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. He tears the messed-up page out of his journal with a sigh and crumples it up, closing the book and puttig it aside.
"Hi."
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She walks inside and sits on the side of his bed and puts a comforting hand on his leg. "You ok, sweetie?"
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But how does he explain? How does he put it into words when he can't even think of it?
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All he can do is answer, "I don't know yet. I need some time...and space...to deal with this on my own terms. Just...please...I don't want to fight about this."
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Slowly, he relaxes his hold on her, until he's running his hands up and down her arms lightly and looking down at her.
"You can go, love. I'll be okay." And he thinks he might believe it this time, too.
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When she reaches the door she looks over her shoulder a moment before really leaving and heading for the engine room.
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He rests his forearms on his knees, hands clasped, then lets his head rest against his arms, which is where he stays for a long, long time.
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