Why You Don't Do Magic in the Library
Title: Why You Don’t Do Magic In The Library
Universe: Young Avengers, Discworld
Rating: G
Summery: “You know, I’ve always wondered about that sign.” Written for solar_cat05
Billy Kaplan opened his eyes and found himself looking into the face of a sad looking orangutan. “Um…” the magic user said as the orangutan hauled him gently to his feet. He discovered a thin, nervous looking man with a wispy beard and a pointy hat with Wizzard stitched into it watching Billy as if he were about to attack. Or possibly explode. “Where am I?”
The man in the hat gave him the most hangdog expression Billy had ever seen. “The Library of the Unseen University,” he said sorrowfully.
Billy blinked. “What?”
***
Eli eyed the banana he had been handed dubiously. “You know, I’ve always wondered about that sign,” he said. “I mean, why would you need to tell anyone not to do magic in a library?”
“It upsets the books,” Rincewind said.
The tubby young man who had been introduced to Eli as Ponder Stibbons hand spent the last hour trying to explain just why Billy’s teleportation spell had landed them in another dimension as they had hunted for the rest of the team. Rincewind had simplified it to “Books warp reality,” and left it at that. The Wizzard had clearly not been happy about being part of the search party. He was want to moan about how he didn’t want to die, and ran at the slightest noise.
Of course, he was generally right to run, so nobody really faulted him for it.
Tommy was the last one found. He hadn’t been in the library at all. In fact, he’d ended up in another country altogether, and had been brought to Ank-Morpork by a portly little old woman with a frighteningly wide smile. She had proceeded to scandalize the wizards (several more had congregated to investigate this fascinating new phenomenon of super-heroes appearing out of nowhere) by joining Tommy in a duet about a hedgehog. Then Billy had scandalized the wizards by pointing out that he was, in fact, a witch.
That was followed by a very worrying discussion about how to send them home. And someone named Big Mad Adrian cornered Billy and wouldn’t leave him alone until Teddy threatened to throw him off the Tower of Art.
Then they’d had to hunt down the Vision (who had made himself scarce during the worrying discussion on how to send them home), and finally found him interfacing with Hex. When the Librarian finally lead them away on an expedition through L-Space to get to the New York Public Library, Vision had come away with a fuzzy teddy bear.
It was generally agreed, once they were back, that they would never speak of this again.
Only Tommy dissented.
After the twelfth rendition of The Wizard’s Staff, Billy made Tommy mute for a week.
Universe: Young Avengers, Discworld
Rating: G
Summery: “You know, I’ve always wondered about that sign.” Written for solar_cat05
Billy Kaplan opened his eyes and found himself looking into the face of a sad looking orangutan. “Um…” the magic user said as the orangutan hauled him gently to his feet. He discovered a thin, nervous looking man with a wispy beard and a pointy hat with Wizzard stitched into it watching Billy as if he were about to attack. Or possibly explode. “Where am I?”
The man in the hat gave him the most hangdog expression Billy had ever seen. “The Library of the Unseen University,” he said sorrowfully.
Billy blinked. “What?”
***
Eli eyed the banana he had been handed dubiously. “You know, I’ve always wondered about that sign,” he said. “I mean, why would you need to tell anyone not to do magic in a library?”
“It upsets the books,” Rincewind said.
The tubby young man who had been introduced to Eli as Ponder Stibbons hand spent the last hour trying to explain just why Billy’s teleportation spell had landed them in another dimension as they had hunted for the rest of the team. Rincewind had simplified it to “Books warp reality,” and left it at that. The Wizzard had clearly not been happy about being part of the search party. He was want to moan about how he didn’t want to die, and ran at the slightest noise.
Of course, he was generally right to run, so nobody really faulted him for it.
Tommy was the last one found. He hadn’t been in the library at all. In fact, he’d ended up in another country altogether, and had been brought to Ank-Morpork by a portly little old woman with a frighteningly wide smile. She had proceeded to scandalize the wizards (several more had congregated to investigate this fascinating new phenomenon of super-heroes appearing out of nowhere) by joining Tommy in a duet about a hedgehog. Then Billy had scandalized the wizards by pointing out that he was, in fact, a witch.
That was followed by a very worrying discussion about how to send them home. And someone named Big Mad Adrian cornered Billy and wouldn’t leave him alone until Teddy threatened to throw him off the Tower of Art.
Then they’d had to hunt down the Vision (who had made himself scarce during the worrying discussion on how to send them home), and finally found him interfacing with Hex. When the Librarian finally lead them away on an expedition through L-Space to get to the New York Public Library, Vision had come away with a fuzzy teddy bear.
It was generally agreed, once they were back, that they would never speak of this again.
Only Tommy dissented.
After the twelfth rendition of The Wizard’s Staff, Billy made Tommy mute for a week.