Fic: To Catch a Thief
Title: To Catch a Thief
Pairing: Lily/James
Rating: PG, just to be safe (for slightly suggestive innuendo)
Word Count: 1,840
Status: Complete
Summary: Auror James Potter has been chasing the notorious art thief known as “The Botanist” for the past three years. Just when he thinks he has finally caught her, James discovers that the object of his obsession may be the girl of his dreams.
A/N: Written for museme87's lilyjames_fest prompt (original posted here). Tentatively planning a couple of sequels. ^_^
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James was uncomfortable. He was crouched down under his invisibility cloak behind a statue of Cliodne the Irish Druidess, deep in the heart of the Diagon Alley Museum of Wizarding History. He was waiting for The Botanist, an extremely clever, potentially dangerous art thief, so named because of the flowers the thief left in place of the various art pieces he’d stolen. The longer James had to wait, the harder he had to work to stay focused. The statue he was crouched behind was charmed to change from woman to bird and back again. It was really hard not to just sit and stare at it, and he was supposed to be watching the “bait.”
The “bait” was a priceless 2,000 year old piece from Wizarding Greece. It was the museum’s newest acquirement and James was positive that his quarry planned to steal it. Tonight.
James had been chasing The Botanist for the last three years. In the last year or so, he’d only been a step behind the thief, who was notorious for sneaking into the most secure exhibits, both Muggle and wizarding, and stealing seemingly unattainable works of art.
rresting him had become an obsession for James.
And tonight, James was finally going to catch him red-handed. He’d spent all afternoon rigging that ancient version of a Grecian Pensieve with charms and jinxes specially designed to catch this thief. Even if something awful happened, the fancy bowl wasn’t going anywhere.
Just then, something caught the hidden Auror’s attention. It wasn’t quite a sound; it was more like…James never really knew how to describe it. Sometimes he just sensed things. And right now, he knew the art thief he’d been chasing for most of his Auror career was creeping down the hall to his left.
James froze, sucking in one silent breath and then holding it, listening hard. A moment later, a barely-there scuff came from the doorway into the Grecian exhibit.
James stood silently, gripping his wand and preparing to strike. He crept forward on silent feet, careful to keep all his various extremities hidden beneath the safety of his cloak. He couldn’t see anything in the room either, but he suspected The Botanist did the majority of his work under a Disillusionment charm.
As he stood poised in the middle of the room, listening for some hint of exactly where his quarry was located, James heard a quiet whisper from just ahead. He crept forward, then moved a little faster when he heard a quiet gasp. Just as he was raising his wand and preparing to cast an incarcerous, there was a loud cry from several feet away, a bright flash of light, and then James’s world went dark.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When James came to, he found himself seated upright in a hard chair, stripped down to his pants and socks, and completely unable to move. He was tied to the chair with his hands cuffed together behind the chair back, and his ankles tied to the legs. A thick rope wrapped around his middle, and by the quality of it, The Botanist had used incarcerous himself.
In any case, James was unable to escape. A little bit of surreptitious wiggling proved that the ropes wrapped around him were firmly secured, and his wand-the one he used for everyday purposes as well as the spare he usually carried in an ankle holster inside his boot when he was working-was missing. James was just beginning to wonder if there was some way he might wiggle the chair sideways enough to set off an alarm and get his partner’s attention when he was interrupted.
“You’re finally awake.”
The velvet soft voice, James was shocked to hear, was female.
The Botanist was a girl? Worse, the bird sounded really…suffice it to say, he suspected he’d be hearing that voice in his dreams after this.
James was careful not to let his surprise show on his face when he answered, “You sound surprised. As if you weren’t the one to knock me unconscious to begin with.”
“Well, I needed to tie you up, and I didn’t think you would just stand still and let me do it.”
“You never know until you ask,” James muttered. Then, “Is stripping people down to their underwear and tying them up some kind of kink for you or something?”
“Depends on who’s getting tied up, I suppose.” A drop dead gorgeous redhead stepped from the gloom to his right. James’s eyes went round; he figured that was a pretty tame reaction considering that it was really all he could do to keep his jaw from dropping.
“You’re pretty fit, Auror Potter, so it really wasn’t much of a hardship this time around.”
James ignored the fact that she knew his name. She’d stripped his clothes off him, it was no surprise she’d searched through them afterwards and found his ID too.
At least, he hoped she’d searched them afterwards. He would hate to think he’d missed that.
“You do this often, then?” he asked dryly.
“Not really. I don’t run across too many Aurors these days.”
“I could fix that for you.”
“You’ve certainly been trying.” She gave him a knowing look. He was too distracted by the big green eyes to pay much attention to the fact that she knew he’d been trying to arrest her.
“So it’s not so much of a bondage thing as it is an Auror thing, then?”
“I love a man in uniform,” she told him flippantly.
“And lucky for you, I make that uniform look really good.” He gave her a cocky grin. To his surprise, she laughed.
“I won’t argue with you,” she said, moving towards the Grecian Pensieve she’d come for.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, watching as she paced around the Pensieve’s stand, waving her wand and muttering quiet spells.
“I’m not sure how you missed it, after chasing me about all these years, but I’m a thief. I steal things. And look!” She gestured at the Pensieve. “Here’s a thing. I think I’ll do what I do best and steal it.”
“Good luck with that,” James told her smugly, leaning back as far as possible in his chair.
“I don’t need luck.”
“You don’t need luck,” he repeated.
“Not even a little.”
“I think you’re forgetting something.”
“That being?” she asked, distracted.
“I’ve been chasing you for years.” James paused for effect. As he expected, the lovely thief paused in her spellwork to look at him. “And I’ve come close to catching you on several occasions. I know more about how you operate than anyone else. And for once, I got here first. Trust me, you’re not taking that,” he jerked his chin at the Pensieve, “out of here.”
“I think you overestimate your abilities.”
“I never overestimate myself. I am every bit as incredible as I think I am.”
She rolled her eyes and got back to work. James watched with growing amusement as she became increasingly more frustrated as time went on. Twenty or thirty long minutes of constant casting later (and James was actually pretty impressed with the variety of spells she knew), uttered in an increasingly loud and frustrated whisper, The Botanist finally threw her hands in the air, whirled around to face him, and hissed, “Potter! What did you do?” She was having trouble keeping her voice down now.
“Having some difficulty?”
She growled at him wordlessly. James grinned.
“I am brilliant. At everything, really, but especially at Transfiguration. That,” another chin jerk towards the Pensieve, “isn’t actually the ‘thing’ you want to steal. It’s a fake. The real one is very safe and very much elsewhere. Aside from that, there are about a hundred charms and hexes on that thing, several of which I created myself. I’m a genius. The only reason you’ve never failed to steal something before is because I wasn’t protecting it.” He smirked. “You’re going to have a lot more trouble ‘doing what you do best’ from now on.”
Lovely green eyes glared hotly at him. “Fine! You win, Potter. Not that I can’t undo all this, mind you,” a sweeping gesture at the exhibit, “but you’ve cost me so much time already that I can’t afford to waste any more.” She tucked her wand away somewhere out of sight, then gave him a saccharine sweet smile. “I’ll be seeing you next time, then?” she asked, walking casually toward the door.
“Wait!” he called.
She paused in the doorway. “Why?”
James struggled in his bonds. “What about me?”
“What about you?”
“Aren’t you going to let me go?”
“I thought I’d leave you for your colleagues to find, actually.”
“In my pants?”
“Maybe next time you’ll be cleverer, won’t you? Or less arrogant. Or both. Although I realize that’s asking for an awful lot, so we’ll just aim for cleverer, right? Best not set the bar too high.” She tucked one hand up under her chin and waved her fingers cheekily at him. “Ta, James,” she murmured, slinking out into the hall.
“Oh that is not fair,” James muttered. He wiggled on his very hard chair and sighed. It was going to be a long night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When James awoke for the second time, it was with numb toes and a severe crick in his neck. He blinked and peered around the gloomy exhibit. His eyes were blurry from lack of sleep, and he had no clue what had woken him. Until footsteps in the hall alerted him to his partner’s arrival.
Douglas froze when he came into the room, then burst out laughing.
“Oh!” he gasped. “Oh, James, he-”
“She,” James corrected, wincing.
“She? Oh, mate, that’s even better! You were caught and tied up by a girl!”
“A very fast, very clever girl,” James grumbled.
His partner just laughed some more.
“I can’t believe she stripped you down and tied you up and left you here. That’s…” Douglas snickered again. “I want to meet this girl. She sounds wicked.”
“Can you just get me out of this, please?” James groaned, knowing he was never going to live this down. He was going to be the laughing stock of the Auror department for months.
That was okay though. She wanted him to be cleverer? Fine, he could be cleverer. He was going to catch her, and then he was going to reform her. His squad could really use an expert in these kinds of things, and who better than an ex-thief?
After all, James was an Auror. He couldn’t date a criminal. And James planned to marry that girl some day. Obviously one of them needed to make a career change, and as his was the one that complied with the law, it would have to be her.
Okay, he thought to himself as Douglas set about freeing him from his bonds, next time I stop her from stealing a valuable piece of wizarding history, I’m going to at least find out her name before she runs off.