"call me selfish, but..."

[donnaidh_sidhe]

I was reading in childfree today, and came across an introduction post that used the phrase, "Call me selfish, but..." and it occurred to me how many people have accepted that they're selfish and therefore bad when they've made a decision in their lives for more happiness or convenience that actually doesn't negatively affect other people much, if at all. (

Comments

[arwenoid]

hehe, I like the concept of childfree, it's just some of the more virulent people who subscribe to it make me ... well, glad that they don't plan on reproducing, at least

[donnaidh_sidhe]

Good one on the paramedics analogy -- I have to keep remembering that every time someone tries to pressure me into harming myself for their benefit.

[zer]

My thought is, expectations are made based on (ideas of) traditional gender roles: A woman is to subsume her selfhood to a man (performing domestic work, getting fucked), and to the family (in the role of a mother, wrangling children

[donnaidh_sidhe]

Goodness. Aren't I supposed to be the bitter feminist of the two of us? ;)

But yeah, there's some good points there. I haven't noticed a lot of CF guys posting about getting the "you're just selfish" line, but that could be because they're less wont to ask for support, or simply outnumbered on LJ, or what.

Hear Hear

[willdew]

(Really, my /rock-solid/ anecdotal evidence comes from being horrified at men expecting women to act like their mother and pick up after them in a relationship, and do their laundry and shit. Like quit being a baby dude, wipe your own ass.)

Sweet pissing Christ, yes. It's always disheartening when they start off seeming all enlightened and progressive (I'll do *all* the chores/ half the chores, really, I'll help cook and do the laundry, I don't mind) and then slooowly revert to type. First the excuses come (but you have all those *bras* as well as underpants, so you it makes sense for you to do the laundry, you have more than me!) and then the verbal abuse, etc.

Please see: my giant list of reasons for being gay.

Chicks aren't perfect, but at least society hasn't indoctrinated them to think you aren't their equal.

[donnaidh_sidhe]

Chicks aren't perfect, but at least society hasn't indoctrinated them to think you aren't their equal.

Not based on sex, anyway. They can always think you're less than them based on class, race, nationality, sexual orientation, gender identity, education level, and other things.

[jurassicsnark]

CF FTW!! :D

I don't have a positive view, either, of others who tell you you're being selfish when you're refusing to do what they want you to do

[donnaidh_sidhe]

I think it's really a case of people not knowing the difference between "selfish" and "taking care of one's self-interest." The latter may or may not be directly detrimental to others; the first always is.

[donnaidh_sidhe]

Oh, self-centred = bad for the same reasons that selfish = bad ;).

[donnaidh_sidhe]

So I'm really True Neutral?

[tinceiri]

Ah, gotcha. It was nice to see how the process worked - take care!

[donnaidh_sidhe]

You're welcome.

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