"call me selfish, but..."

[donnaidh_sidhe]

I was reading in childfree today, and came across an introduction post that used the phrase, "Call me selfish, but..." and it occurred to me how many people have accepted that they're selfish and therefore bad when they've made a decision in their lives for more happiness or convenience that actually doesn't negatively affect other people much, if at all. (

Comments

[arwenoid]

hehe, I like the concept of childfree, it's just some of the more virulent people who subscribe to it make me ... well, glad that they don't plan on reproducing, at least. ;)

Anyway, I was at a Dossie Easton (author of The Ethical Slut) talk many a moon ago, and the concept of selfishness came up. Being selfish, in itself, isn't a bad thing. Someone brought up the term "self-ish" as opposed to selfish. Very minor difference, but I think it puts more emphasis on the fact that it's just taking care of yourself first.

Few people would refer to paramedics as being selfish, but the first rule of paramedicine is that I can't help you if I get injured. If there's danger of me getting injured, I'm sure as hell going to wait for someone more qualified to secure a scene before I step in. No point in having TWO injured people, is there?

There are places where being selfish isn't the best route, of course. All things in moderation (including moderation.)

What's the opposite of being selfish? Self sacrifice? If the two extremes are selfish & self-sacrificing, then I think I'd rather be closer toward the end of the spectrum that takes good care of myself than be a martyr. Sure, nobody likes someone who refuses to think of other people, but nobody likes a martyr either. Balance! Balance is good.

[donnaidh_sidhe]

Good one on the paramedics analogy -- I have to keep remembering that every time someone tries to pressure me into harming myself for their benefit.