I say "prairies" because that's the term I use when people ask me where I live. I don't like to be specific, and it just tends to come out in conversation. Again, I apologize. I meant Manitoba specifically. Sorry again.
Just wondering - where do you get the money to throw a wedding [even a small one], if you're planning on inviting more than a handful of people? Other than going in to debt for it or simply saving for however many years it takes, I mean. We tried to have as small a wedding as possible and it was still way more than I was comfortable spending, so I'm unsure of how people come up with a grand on the spot to pay for their wedding.
Socials are common here. So maybe they're not common other places, but wow, I didn't realize people could get so angry about something that's just really commonplace here. Feel the hate, it's..."wonderful".
I've never seen it as "admission" for the wedding. It's so common to give people cash for a wedding here, it's just something people do without thinking about it. But then again, cash bars seem to be fairly popular in other places, and I'm horrified by that idea...
To me, it's just "normal" to give someone money at their wedding. That's the way I was raised, you don't go to a wedding without bringing money because the bridge and groom/hosts are paying for the hall, dinner, alchohol. So when I see people who are offended by the thought of cash presentation, yet see nothing wrong with a cash bar...it's confusing.
It's almost as if it's much too offensive to specify that you don't need gifts/aren't registered, yet it's not offensive to expect someone to pay for their drinks during dinner.
I can't say I ever felt that someone was putting a gun to my head and forcing me to give them money or a present for a wedding. I always considered it just a note, saying "in case you want to give the new couple a gift, this would be appreciated."
I'm not saying that doesn't make sense, I just personally have never been offended by someone specifying that they'd prefer money over a gift. I don't see it as a demand, I've always thought of it as saying "If you would like to get us something, this would be helpful", not "Give us money now!"
I can't think of anyone I know personally who is offended by it...it just seems to be the norm here, at least among people I've asked.
See, giving cash is cool, and it's perfectly normal in many places. There's nothing wrong with hoping that people will give cash or having your bridesmaids and parents spread the word that cash is really what you need. There is something tacky about asking for cash, because, technically, you're not supposed to ask for gifts at all.
When I was putting together the invitations, I was worried about exactly that. But everyone I asked said it's normal/acceptable to put "presentation only" on the invitations ["everyone" my mom, his mom, grandparents, aunts, friends, family etc] being . Heck, I can't think of a wedding invite I've gotten in the past few years that didn't have that written on it unless the couple was registered somewhere.
It's just one of those things that people just do here, and then I find out that everywhere else that's considered tacky or inappropriate. It's frustrating, it's not like people are trying to be tacky or offensive, it just seems that it's one of those things that's done here, and nowhere else :(
See, if I got an invitation that said "presentation only" I wouldn't even know what that meant. And I've never heard of a "social" in the way that you're using it. So obviously there's a cultural dimension to all this. And there are plenty of things that some people find normal that others find tacky. C'est la vie. (I agree that cash bars kind of suck, though I understand limiting the open bar)
Our hall was $700, our JP was over $200, the food was buffet style, and we didn't have a photographer. We didn't have an expensive wedding, we were just forced in to inviting every single family member on the planet. Right now I'm really feeling like a terrible person because we had our family there :P [I looked in to having it in a park/etc, everything here charges a fee if I recall correctly.]
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Socials are common here. So maybe they're not common other places, but wow, I didn't realize people could get so angry about something that's just really commonplace here. Feel the hate, it's..."wonderful".
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It's almost as if it's much too offensive to specify that you don't need gifts/aren't registered, yet it's not offensive to expect someone to pay for their drinks during dinner.
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I can't think of anyone I know personally who is offended by it...it just seems to be the norm here, at least among people I've asked.
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It's just one of those things that people just do here, and then I find out that everywhere else that's considered tacky or inappropriate. It's frustrating, it's not like people are trying to be tacky or offensive, it just seems that it's one of those things that's done here, and nowhere else :(
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And there are plenty of things that some people find normal that others find tacky. C'est la vie.
(I agree that cash bars kind of suck, though I understand limiting the open bar)
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