Who can tell me something about chickens?

[dolorous_ett]

It's such a long time now since I posted the first half of the words-and-chickens story I'm writing for the perposterice challenge that it's in danger of sinking without trace. But I'm determined to try and finish it before the New Big Project begins, in spite of all the work and whatnot I've had to do - and despite the fact that the deadline for said

Comments

Fran Keeps Chickens.

[wemyss]

Really. Our frances_jane keeps chickens

Re: Fran Keeps Chickens.

[dolorous_ett]

Pecks to the head I can definitely use. ANd egg-pecking.

And it's brilliant, isn't it, the way this request for info leads to truly abyssmal puns?

I'd LOVE to hear "In the Mood for Love" clucked by chickens. I'm a sucker for animal noises of all kinds - and clucking is a perennial favourite with me.

But I'll finish the peice without it. Soon (though not as soon as I like - I've just had a look at my diary... ouch. Whatever happened to "almost the end of term"?)

[snorkackcatcher]

My next door neighbour is a mind reader. She only throws noisy parties when I am ready to weep with exhaustion and desperate for sleep. But it would be immoral to kill her nonetheless, because Killing is Wrong. Right?

That does seem to be the case, unfortunately. Judicious use of torture does however seem to be acceptable within the bounds of current ethical understanding. :)

[dolorous_ett]

Right. In that case, at 5 next morning it's out with the old stereo and the really, REALLY cheesy tapes of '80s Chinese pop music... And then I'll nip out for a couple of hours.

Actually I can't do this because it'd disturb the person below me who is perfectly all right. But it's the thought that counts...

[bufo_viridis]

Can't add anything much about chicken - just mayb that in those huge farms overcongested chicken relieve stress by pecking each others legs off (cannibalsim may follow).
Can tell you how to hypnotize a hen, though. If you want to add it as a Loony part, that is. But the method is proven (I've done myself).

[dolorous_ett]

Can tell you how to hypnotize a hen, though.

Then please do! I'd love to know that. Might even be able to use it.

How is it that you learned to hypnotise a hen, by the way? I bet that's a story in itself.

[bufo_viridis]

Okay...

First you need to grab a chick... I mean catch the hen, a fowl, a rooster, whatever, don't look at me like this

[dolorous_ett]

Thanks - most enlightening! I'm not sure when I'll be able to put this brilliant advice to work... but I'll keep my eyes peeled for opportunities.

Unfortunately there's not too much backstory of me learning it: a guy in a village when I was helping with tortoise tracking showed it to me.

Not much backstory? Tortoise tracking? Don't you feel any contradiction here?

And did you find the tortoise in the end?

[fungus_files]

I have nothing useful (or, indeed, funny) to add to the chicken talk, except that I hope to see the creative use of 'pecking order' in the resulting fic...

looking forward to reading what you write! :)

[dolorous_ett]

Thanks! There's a lot of potential for awful puns in anything to do with poultry - fowl play, pecking order etc etc...

[aerama]

Killing is Wrong, but Thinking of 1000 Different & Pleasurable (for you) Ways in Which She'd Be Made Aware of Her Vast Mistake is Not-Wrong.

But then I have a slight revenge instinct.

Otherwise:
1. Get one (1) live chicken.
2. Stuff live chicken in neighbor's face.
3. Record reactions of said chicken.

[dolorous_ett]

Killing is Wrong, but Thinking of 1000 Different & Pleasurable (for you) Ways in Which She'd Be Made Aware of Her Vast Mistake is Not-Wrong.

That's a relief. I suppose it's better that I fantasise about assaulting her with live chickens rather than blow my top. Because I do, after all, have to live next door to her. (damn)