It's you 4/19
Title: It's You
Pairings: JaeChun, Jaejoong/Seon Woong (Epik High's Tablo)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Yoochun loves Jaejoong. Jaejoong loves Seon Woong. Seon Woong is not who he pretends to be. Yoochun is Jaejoong's brother.
Warnings: Incest, Drugs, Violence, (attempted) Rape. Angst.
For dexterka92, who also made the poster ♥
4. I don't want you to
Jaejoong stayed in bed until he was sure his parents had left too. And then a little longer because it was at least two hours before the time Seon Woong would come over.
Convincing his mother hadn’t been too hard. She’d asked how he felt, he’d said he’d probably caught the flu, she’d said ‘poor boy, stay in bed, I’ll call the school’ and then she’d left, after asking if he needed anything.
Maybe it was because he had never really lied to her before and that made him feel guilty, but today was important.
Seon Woong had asked him to stay home, practically begging him saying that the time they spent together after school wasn’t enough and that he missed him too much to wait for the weekend.
Besides, Jaejoong had a math test today and he hadn’t had time to study at all, so it was best to skip it for now.
He was glad he felt better than he had last evening, because it would feel like letting Seon Woong down if he really got sick, spoiling their day together. Although he still felt a little tired.
He tried to deny it, but accepting one of Seon Woong’s smilies had to have something to do with how drained he’d felt.
Seon Woong had taken the pills out again, given him the kind of kiss that took his breath away and whispered ‘please’.
Of course Jaejoong had said yes as this really seemed to be very important to Seon Woong, and to their relationship.
And Seon Woong had been right, it had made him feel happy. Happy, confident and energetic. Every smile Seon Woong gave him had made his heart flutter and when Seon Woong had taken him to a club, he’d danced and had fun more than ever before.
But when Seon Woong had dragged him off the dance floor and back to his car he’d started to feel more and more tired.
After being dropped off in front of his house it had even been a struggle to reach the front door and then his room.
And then Yoochun had been there.
Jaejoong had avoided thinking about him up till now, but he couldn’t any longer.
The worried look in his eyes, it was hard to forget, no matter how drowsy he’d felt when he saw it.
Accepting the pills was a bad thing, Yoochun would surely tell him that. Maybe he should tell Seon Woong today.
He set his alarm, pulled the comforter over his head and waited.
When it went off he tried to absorb as much warmth from the soft mattress as he could before getting up and walking to the bathroom. He a had to make sure he looked good by the time Seon Woong would be here.
Seon Woong was early. Jaejoong groaned because the ringing doorbell forced him to choose the clothes he was wearing at that moment and he hadn’t had enough time to decide if they were the best choice yet.
He hastily shoved the pile of shirts that was evidence of his indecisiveness under Yoochun’s bed - as it was closer to their shared closet - and ran to the door
Because of his haste to open the door he still had some speed when he did and he stumbled right into Seon Woong’s arms that caught him readily.
Seon Woong chuckled. “Happy to see me?”
Jaejoong nodded against his chest, hiding his red cheeks.
Seon Woong had never been inside their house for more than a few minutes before and Jaejoong was nervous.
Seon Woong seemed to feel at home though as he immediately dropped down on the couch and motioned for Jaejoong to sit with him.
Jaejoong moved to a spot on the empty part of the couch, but Seon Woong grabbed his hips and pulled him down onto his lap.
“You looked great yesterday”, he said and his lips pressed softly against Jaejoong’s.
“Really?”
“Yes. I had invited some friends and I didn’t get a chance to introduce them to you, but they saw you dance and they all agreed with me, said it was a pity that we had to leave so early.”
Friends? Jaejoong didn’t even remember seeing Seon Woong with other people. He had been on the dance floor without him for a while, but all the memories of last night were a bit fuzzy.
“Will you introduce me next time?”
“Of course, as soon as you want actually, they’re dying to properly meet you.”
Jaejoong felt a bit uncomfortable. He bit his lip, but then he remembered the time Yoochun told him that he should say what was bothering him, because it wasn’t easy to read his mind.
And Seon Woong wasn’t even his twin, so Jaejoong asked: “Don’t you want to spend more time with me alone?”
Seon Woong’s lips curled into a little smile. “Sure, I will, but more people always means more fun, right?”
Jaejoong wasn’t sure. He often preferred just Yoochun to a room full of people. But Seon Woong kissed him again so he nodded.
“Did you like the smiley?”
“I-”
“It made you happy, didn’t it? You looked so confident and sexy. It made me love you even more.”
Jaejoong had wanted to voice his doubts, his tired body and Yoochun’s worried face flashing through his mind, but how could he?
He wanted Seon Woong to love him, and keep loving him, he was willing to do anything to deserve that.
But Yoochun would call him a coward...
“I..”
Seon Woong gave him a questioning look, Jaejoong averted his eyes.
“I don’t really like-” his phone rang, he could hear it in the bedroom.
Maybe it was one of his parents checking up on him, he had to answer that. He muttered an apology and got off of Seon Woong’s lap.
The display said Yoochun was calling him... Jaejoong looked at the time. Yoochun was supposed to be in class, chemistry to be precise.
He pressed the button to accept the call.
“How are you-”
“Jae, how do you feel?”
“I... a bit better already, I think.. it’s just a small cold.”
“Good. But mom and dad just left you, didn’t they? Tell me if you want me to come home, I’d ditch any-”
“Chun, how are you even calling me right now?”
“Ah, I got out of chemistry.”
“... how? Mister Acid doesn’t even allow people to go to the toilet.”
“Well, I kind of used Junsu a bit. You know how he’s always nervous and clumsy? I pretended that he’d accidentally dropped some of that something-hydroxide stuff on my hand. Scared him shitless when I overdid it a bit. I feel bad about that, but hey, I was worried about you.”
Jaejoong chuckled, he could imagine what Junsu’s face must have looked like, but he spoke in a strict voice:
“You should make it up to him, he’s a good kid and he’s only clumsy because he’s nervous and only nervous because he accidentally set his dog on fire once and chemistry reminds him of that.”
Yoochun laughed and Jaejoong pushed his phone a bit closer against his ear, Yoochun’s laugh made him smile.
“I’d forgotten about that story. Alright, I’ll tell him the truth during lunch.”
There was a short silence.
“Hey, Jae?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you think of Yunho?”
Jaejoong furrowed his brows. Yunho was a classmate, but just that. He was smart and very serious about his grades, but pretty boring, the perfect student.
“What about him?”
“Well.. I think he’s.. you know.. into me.”
Jaejoong froze.
“And I know I’m probably seeing things, because, come on, does Jung Yunho even know the words social life? But there are some hints and I figured, you have Seon Woong and you seem to be pretty happy, maybe I should give the relationship thing a go.”
“No.”
“... Jae?”
Jaejoong took a deep breath. “I mean, sure, a relationship is really nice, but.. do you like him?”
“He’s alright. He saw I was faking it just now, but he didn’t say anything. I don’t like him in that way, but maybe I can just.. give him a chance? If I’m right about his feelings of course.”
“But Yunho..”
Jaejoong didn’t know, he didn’t know why Yoochun should definitely get this idea out of his head. But that’s how he felt. Didn’t his feeling count as an argument? After all he was Yoochun’s brother.
“It just doesn’t feel right. You wanted my advice, right? Well, that’s it.”
“Um.. okay, but-”
“Maybe we should talk about this later.” Jaejoong had suddenly remembered Seon Woong. How could he have forgotten about him?!
“But-”
“Chunnie, please, I’m getting a bit of a headache, I’d like to sleep for a bit longer.”
Yoochun’s voice immediately softened, making Jaejoong feel guilty.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, promise you won’t ditch just for me.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“See you in a few hours.”
“Yeah, get a good rest okay?”
When Jaejoong had put his phone down he practically flew back to the living room.
“What took you so long?”
“I.. my mother, my mother called and she got all worried and it took me forever to calm her down.” Jaejoong had no idea why he felt the need to lie about Yoochun. He was just his brother, right?
“Your acting must have been good then.”
Jaejoong smiled. It was a compliment, from Seon Woong. But in his head he was still going through his conversation with Yoochun. He didn’t like it, the idea of Yoochun and Yunho together.
“So..” Seon woong pulled him against his body again, “want to have some more fun?” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out the rattling box. Jaejoong stared at it.
He had wanted to refuse. But one of those pills would make him more confident, carefree, maybe he’d even get over the uneasy feeling he’d had since the phone call.
It wasn’t until a new wave of exhaustion hit him about five hours later that Jaejoong regretted his decision.
Seon Woong had left, because Yoochun could be home any time now and Jaejoong tried to remember everything that had happened that afternoon.
He’d let Seon Woong get close, very close. They’d kissed on the couch for what felt like hours and Seon Woong had slowly started to feel him up.
Jaejoong had enjoyed the touches, an unfamiliar fire burning inside of him, and he knew that he would have offered himself to Seon Woong completely, if he’d asked.
But Seon Woong had suddenly slowed down again, pulled back a bit, and right now Jaejoong was grateful. He still wasn’t ready.
He loved what the smilies did to him and at the same time he didn’t like it at all.
The opening and closing of the front door pulled him out of his thoughts. How convenient that he felt drained and was already lying in bed, acting sick wouldn’t be hard at all.
Yoochun called out his name and Jaejoong heard him make his way to their bedroom.
When he felt his bed dip he finally turned away from the wall.
“Hey, how do you feel? You don’t look very...” Yoochun frowned and pressed his hand against Jaejoong’s forehead. “No fever, but you look like ‘a small cold’ was underestimating it. Have you eaten at all today?”
Jaejoong was surprised to realise that he in fact hadn’t eaten, or drank, anything today. He wasn’t hungry or thirsty at all though, maybe he really was sick. He shook is head.
Yoochun frowned more. “Maybe I can make you some porridge.”
“No, it’s alright.”
“You should eat!”
Yoochun was right, Jaejoong sighed. “Okay, but I’ll make it.” He sat up, but Yoochun hands were immediately at his shoulders to gently push him back down.
“No, I can do it, trust me. You should rest.” Yoochun got up and walked towards the door.
When he passed Jaejoong’s desk some papers flew up and fell to the ground. Yoochun bucked and picked them up. “Ah, I guess you didn’t need these. Maybe you can save them for when you have to take today’s test. They worked for me.” He smiled and walked out of the room.
Jaejoong wasted a few minutes trying to figure out what Yoochun was talking about before he dragged his body to the desk to take a look.
Looking through the notes and understanding what they were gave him an uncomfortably heavy feeling in his chest. Yoochun must have spent a lot of time on these, for him.
Suddenly it hit him why he didn’t want Yoochun to be with Yunho. He didn’t want to share. Yoochun was always there for him, he didn’t want to miss that, not even a little bit of it.
And it was only fair. He was always there for Yoochun too, right?
Wait...
Was he?
A/N: When I get my writing back on schedule I should totally write some more 2U already, I keep trying to ninja it into things xD
Chapter 5: You won't tell me
Chapter 3: You worry me
Chapter 2: You want me to give in
Chapter 1: You forgot
Pairings: JaeChun, Jaejoong/Seon Woong (Epik High's Tablo)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Yoochun loves Jaejoong. Jaejoong loves Seon Woong. Seon Woong is not who he pretends to be. Yoochun is Jaejoong's brother.
Warnings: Incest, Drugs, Violence, (attempted) Rape. Angst.
For dexterka92, who also made the poster ♥
4. I don't want you to
Jaejoong stayed in bed until he was sure his parents had left too. And then a little longer because it was at least two hours before the time Seon Woong would come over.
Convincing his mother hadn’t been too hard. She’d asked how he felt, he’d said he’d probably caught the flu, she’d said ‘poor boy, stay in bed, I’ll call the school’ and then she’d left, after asking if he needed anything.
Maybe it was because he had never really lied to her before and that made him feel guilty, but today was important.
Seon Woong had asked him to stay home, practically begging him saying that the time they spent together after school wasn’t enough and that he missed him too much to wait for the weekend.
Besides, Jaejoong had a math test today and he hadn’t had time to study at all, so it was best to skip it for now.
He was glad he felt better than he had last evening, because it would feel like letting Seon Woong down if he really got sick, spoiling their day together. Although he still felt a little tired.
He tried to deny it, but accepting one of Seon Woong’s smilies had to have something to do with how drained he’d felt.
Seon Woong had taken the pills out again, given him the kind of kiss that took his breath away and whispered ‘please’.
Of course Jaejoong had said yes as this really seemed to be very important to Seon Woong, and to their relationship.
And Seon Woong had been right, it had made him feel happy. Happy, confident and energetic. Every smile Seon Woong gave him had made his heart flutter and when Seon Woong had taken him to a club, he’d danced and had fun more than ever before.
But when Seon Woong had dragged him off the dance floor and back to his car he’d started to feel more and more tired.
After being dropped off in front of his house it had even been a struggle to reach the front door and then his room.
And then Yoochun had been there.
Jaejoong had avoided thinking about him up till now, but he couldn’t any longer.
The worried look in his eyes, it was hard to forget, no matter how drowsy he’d felt when he saw it.
Accepting the pills was a bad thing, Yoochun would surely tell him that. Maybe he should tell Seon Woong today.
He set his alarm, pulled the comforter over his head and waited.
When it went off he tried to absorb as much warmth from the soft mattress as he could before getting up and walking to the bathroom. He a had to make sure he looked good by the time Seon Woong would be here.
Seon Woong was early. Jaejoong groaned because the ringing doorbell forced him to choose the clothes he was wearing at that moment and he hadn’t had enough time to decide if they were the best choice yet.
He hastily shoved the pile of shirts that was evidence of his indecisiveness under Yoochun’s bed - as it was closer to their shared closet - and ran to the door
Because of his haste to open the door he still had some speed when he did and he stumbled right into Seon Woong’s arms that caught him readily.
Seon Woong chuckled. “Happy to see me?”
Jaejoong nodded against his chest, hiding his red cheeks.
Seon Woong had never been inside their house for more than a few minutes before and Jaejoong was nervous.
Seon Woong seemed to feel at home though as he immediately dropped down on the couch and motioned for Jaejoong to sit with him.
Jaejoong moved to a spot on the empty part of the couch, but Seon Woong grabbed his hips and pulled him down onto his lap.
“You looked great yesterday”, he said and his lips pressed softly against Jaejoong’s.
“Really?”
“Yes. I had invited some friends and I didn’t get a chance to introduce them to you, but they saw you dance and they all agreed with me, said it was a pity that we had to leave so early.”
Friends? Jaejoong didn’t even remember seeing Seon Woong with other people. He had been on the dance floor without him for a while, but all the memories of last night were a bit fuzzy.
“Will you introduce me next time?”
“Of course, as soon as you want actually, they’re dying to properly meet you.”
Jaejoong felt a bit uncomfortable. He bit his lip, but then he remembered the time Yoochun told him that he should say what was bothering him, because it wasn’t easy to read his mind.
And Seon Woong wasn’t even his twin, so Jaejoong asked: “Don’t you want to spend more time with me alone?”
Seon Woong’s lips curled into a little smile. “Sure, I will, but more people always means more fun, right?”
Jaejoong wasn’t sure. He often preferred just Yoochun to a room full of people. But Seon Woong kissed him again so he nodded.
“Did you like the smiley?”
“I-”
“It made you happy, didn’t it? You looked so confident and sexy. It made me love you even more.”
Jaejoong had wanted to voice his doubts, his tired body and Yoochun’s worried face flashing through his mind, but how could he?
He wanted Seon Woong to love him, and keep loving him, he was willing to do anything to deserve that.
But Yoochun would call him a coward...
“I..”
Seon Woong gave him a questioning look, Jaejoong averted his eyes.
“I don’t really like-” his phone rang, he could hear it in the bedroom.
Maybe it was one of his parents checking up on him, he had to answer that. He muttered an apology and got off of Seon Woong’s lap.
The display said Yoochun was calling him... Jaejoong looked at the time. Yoochun was supposed to be in class, chemistry to be precise.
He pressed the button to accept the call.
“How are you-”
“Jae, how do you feel?”
“I... a bit better already, I think.. it’s just a small cold.”
“Good. But mom and dad just left you, didn’t they? Tell me if you want me to come home, I’d ditch any-”
“Chun, how are you even calling me right now?”
“Ah, I got out of chemistry.”
“... how? Mister Acid doesn’t even allow people to go to the toilet.”
“Well, I kind of used Junsu a bit. You know how he’s always nervous and clumsy? I pretended that he’d accidentally dropped some of that something-hydroxide stuff on my hand. Scared him shitless when I overdid it a bit. I feel bad about that, but hey, I was worried about you.”
Jaejoong chuckled, he could imagine what Junsu’s face must have looked like, but he spoke in a strict voice:
“You should make it up to him, he’s a good kid and he’s only clumsy because he’s nervous and only nervous because he accidentally set his dog on fire once and chemistry reminds him of that.”
Yoochun laughed and Jaejoong pushed his phone a bit closer against his ear, Yoochun’s laugh made him smile.
“I’d forgotten about that story. Alright, I’ll tell him the truth during lunch.”
There was a short silence.
“Hey, Jae?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you think of Yunho?”
Jaejoong furrowed his brows. Yunho was a classmate, but just that. He was smart and very serious about his grades, but pretty boring, the perfect student.
“What about him?”
“Well.. I think he’s.. you know.. into me.”
Jaejoong froze.
“And I know I’m probably seeing things, because, come on, does Jung Yunho even know the words social life? But there are some hints and I figured, you have Seon Woong and you seem to be pretty happy, maybe I should give the relationship thing a go.”
“No.”
“... Jae?”
Jaejoong took a deep breath. “I mean, sure, a relationship is really nice, but.. do you like him?”
“He’s alright. He saw I was faking it just now, but he didn’t say anything. I don’t like him in that way, but maybe I can just.. give him a chance? If I’m right about his feelings of course.”
“But Yunho..”
Jaejoong didn’t know, he didn’t know why Yoochun should definitely get this idea out of his head. But that’s how he felt. Didn’t his feeling count as an argument? After all he was Yoochun’s brother.
“It just doesn’t feel right. You wanted my advice, right? Well, that’s it.”
“Um.. okay, but-”
“Maybe we should talk about this later.” Jaejoong had suddenly remembered Seon Woong. How could he have forgotten about him?!
“But-”
“Chunnie, please, I’m getting a bit of a headache, I’d like to sleep for a bit longer.”
Yoochun’s voice immediately softened, making Jaejoong feel guilty.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, promise you won’t ditch just for me.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“See you in a few hours.”
“Yeah, get a good rest okay?”
When Jaejoong had put his phone down he practically flew back to the living room.
“What took you so long?”
“I.. my mother, my mother called and she got all worried and it took me forever to calm her down.” Jaejoong had no idea why he felt the need to lie about Yoochun. He was just his brother, right?
“Your acting must have been good then.”
Jaejoong smiled. It was a compliment, from Seon Woong. But in his head he was still going through his conversation with Yoochun. He didn’t like it, the idea of Yoochun and Yunho together.
“So..” Seon woong pulled him against his body again, “want to have some more fun?” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out the rattling box. Jaejoong stared at it.
He had wanted to refuse. But one of those pills would make him more confident, carefree, maybe he’d even get over the uneasy feeling he’d had since the phone call.
It wasn’t until a new wave of exhaustion hit him about five hours later that Jaejoong regretted his decision.
Seon Woong had left, because Yoochun could be home any time now and Jaejoong tried to remember everything that had happened that afternoon.
He’d let Seon Woong get close, very close. They’d kissed on the couch for what felt like hours and Seon Woong had slowly started to feel him up.
Jaejoong had enjoyed the touches, an unfamiliar fire burning inside of him, and he knew that he would have offered himself to Seon Woong completely, if he’d asked.
But Seon Woong had suddenly slowed down again, pulled back a bit, and right now Jaejoong was grateful. He still wasn’t ready.
He loved what the smilies did to him and at the same time he didn’t like it at all.
The opening and closing of the front door pulled him out of his thoughts. How convenient that he felt drained and was already lying in bed, acting sick wouldn’t be hard at all.
Yoochun called out his name and Jaejoong heard him make his way to their bedroom.
When he felt his bed dip he finally turned away from the wall.
“Hey, how do you feel? You don’t look very...” Yoochun frowned and pressed his hand against Jaejoong’s forehead. “No fever, but you look like ‘a small cold’ was underestimating it. Have you eaten at all today?”
Jaejoong was surprised to realise that he in fact hadn’t eaten, or drank, anything today. He wasn’t hungry or thirsty at all though, maybe he really was sick. He shook is head.
Yoochun frowned more. “Maybe I can make you some porridge.”
“No, it’s alright.”
“You should eat!”
Yoochun was right, Jaejoong sighed. “Okay, but I’ll make it.” He sat up, but Yoochun hands were immediately at his shoulders to gently push him back down.
“No, I can do it, trust me. You should rest.” Yoochun got up and walked towards the door.
When he passed Jaejoong’s desk some papers flew up and fell to the ground. Yoochun bucked and picked them up. “Ah, I guess you didn’t need these. Maybe you can save them for when you have to take today’s test. They worked for me.” He smiled and walked out of the room.
Jaejoong wasted a few minutes trying to figure out what Yoochun was talking about before he dragged his body to the desk to take a look.
Looking through the notes and understanding what they were gave him an uncomfortably heavy feeling in his chest. Yoochun must have spent a lot of time on these, for him.
Suddenly it hit him why he didn’t want Yoochun to be with Yunho. He didn’t want to share. Yoochun was always there for him, he didn’t want to miss that, not even a little bit of it.
And it was only fair. He was always there for Yoochun too, right?
Wait...
Was he?
A/N: When I get my writing back on schedule I should totally write some more 2U already, I keep trying to ninja it into things xD
Chapter 5: You won't tell me
Chapter 3: You worry me
Chapter 2: You want me to give in
Chapter 1: You forgot