ABC-Z Bar AU part 2 (WIP)
Pairing: HasshixTottsu, KitayamaxFujigaya
Summary: In Which Hasshi Has Many Feelings For Tottsu, And Tottsu Doesn't Notice.
Part 1
Right now, they were in a little bit of shock. They, at least everyone who was not Goseki or Tsukada, was in shock. They did not have to wait too long for Hashimoto to come bounding over to them after the show, sporting jeans and a t-shirt, his normal, casual style.
"Gocchi, thanks for the help! I think tonight was the best yet!" Hashimoto slung an arm around the other in a quick hug before smiling at the rest. "Thanks for coming tonight. I am glad that everyone was free."
"Goseki-sama helped you?" Kitayama piped up, asking the question that everyone was wondering, and Hashimoto did not answer for a moment, looking instead at Goseki, who nodded.
"Gocchi did all my choreography and Tsuka-chan--"
"I am the best acrobatics coordinator this place has ever had."
"You are the only one, Tsuka-chan. No matter how many times you retire or we try and get rid of you. You are Goseki-sama are still the most request combination" Miyata's words were softened by his cheerful tone and his grin. "But we need to check your calendar. The rehearsals for the next show are coming up. And after watching 'Mercury' and Snowman, they have some new ideas for changes they want."
Tsukada looked towards Goseki, but Miyata shook his head. "They want an entire separate and additional acrobatics section. And Goseki-sama isn't doing the choreography for the next show."
"We decided to give the new guy a shot. Plus, if you are gonna be here more one of us needs to run the bar."
"I can! I will be back full time soon." Hashimoto looked at Goseki with hopeful smile and wide eyes, and Goseki laughed.
"Not yet, Ryosuke. Maybe one day I will trust you with the bar. Just because you pulled the show off doesn't mean I am happy with you."
"I know, I know, but I am eating more. I promise. I have been on Tsuka-chan's special diet and everything."
"Still can't be trusted!" Tsuka-chan added as Miyata pulled him across the room and Hashimoto deflated.
Now that he looked at him a little closer Kawai could see how much weight the other had lost, the slight pallor of his skin, and the dark circles underneath his eyes.
"It was a really good show, Ryosuke, I am proud of you, we all are." Goseki commented when Hashimoto seemed to deflate more, and Kawai was scooping Hashimoto into a hug before his pout could grow any larger.
Kawai didn't let go as Tottsu spoke, as he could feel the sudden tension in Hashimoto's body.
"It was a good show. There were a few songs I wasn't familiar with. Where did you get them?"
“I…” Hashimoto paused for a moment and Kawai hugs him a little tighter, watching as Hashimoto looks at Totsuka for a moment before looking away. “I didn't get them from anyone.”
“What do you mean?” Totsuka asks, looking confused, and Kawai suddenly understand why Hashimoto was tense, why he wouldn't look at Totsuka.
Hashimoto had performed original songs on a stage that Totsuka would love to perform on. And the songs were good. Hashimoto had been given a chance to perform on stage, as a way to get him to stop moping about Totsuka, and a way to make Totsuka realize that he cared for Hashimoto. Neither part of that plan seemed to be going smoothly.
“You wrote them?” Kitayama burst out, and Kawai should not have been surprised at the older man’s outburst. He always could be counted on to ruin the mood, especially between Hashimoto and Totsuka. Always, without fail.
“I-“ Hashimoto stopped speaking when a new arm slipped around his waist. “Ah, is it time?”
Kawai peered around Hashimoto to see of the Snowman members pressed against Hashimoto’s side, looking for all the world like be belonged there. Kawai was surprised to realize that he was one of the semi-regulars at the bar. Apparently Goseki and Tsukada were popular both at Shokura and at their bar.
“Thanks again for coming.” Hashimoto stepped away from the group, his smile wide, and the Snowman did not move away from his side.
“You aren’t going to eat with us?” Totsuka asked softly, and Kawai followed the line of his gaze, to Hashimoto. Hashimoto had an arm casually around the other man. But Kawai was surprised to see that the other man had his hand resting low on Hashimoto’s waist, playing with the edge of his jeans. Hashimoto didn't seem to even notice, but as if feeling Totsuka’s gaze the Snowman pressed closer.
“Nope, it's the final night so we are taking Hasshi out to celebrate. We always take good care of him, so don’t worry, you will get him back in one piece.”
The snowman steered Hashimoto away from the group, looking back over his shoulder to wink at them.
“I…I had hoped he would eat dinner with us.” Totsuka’s voice was soft. “It feels a little like he is avoiding us.” Totsuka continued and Kawai could see Kitayama stiffen beside him.
“I am sure that he doesn’t have a reason to be avoiding you, or does he?” Fujigaya’s voice was sharp as she slip up beside the group, and Kawai could see Kitayama’s eye widen in panic.
Kawai was curious. Was Fujigaya really going to throw his lover under the bus?
“They have been good to Hasshi. He was really sad when he started rehearsing his show. It was not like him. They have worked hard to cheer him up. I will be unhappy if he ends up sad again when we send him back to you.”
“Taipi, you know that we weren’t the reason that he was sad.” Goseki’s voice was mild, and Kawai was beginning to see what was happening, and he hard to try hard not to laugh at the increasing look of discomfort and panic that was moving across Kitayama’s face.
“Hasshi was sad?” Totsuka asked, his voice catching a little. “I didn’t notice…”
“He didn't want you to notice.” Kawai added, his gaze locked on not Totsuka, but Kitayama. “But yes, he was sad, and it seems that this show did a lot to cure him of that.”
“Do you know why he was sad?” Totsuka looked around, and it was then that he noticed that Kitayama was looking panicked beside him, his body stiff and his expression terrorized. “Mitsu, what’s wrong? Did you know also?”
Kitayama nodded, his body deflating, and his gaze dropping to the ground. “I do.”
“So-“ Totsuka stopped speaking when Kitayama shook his head.
“I know why, its my fault, actually.”
“Huh?” Totsuka eloquently answered and Kitayama shifted in place.
“Tell him, Hiromitsu.” Fujigaya’s voice was sharp, and Kitayama took in a nervous breath.
“He might have been under the impression that you thought that he was a creepy annoying stalker, and so-“
“Of course I don't!” Totsuka interrupted, looking at Kitayama in shock.
“He heard us that night, the night you left your music at the bar. He…. Hasshi was going to bring it to you, but he heard us talking, when you asked why I was trying to keep you to apart. I-“
“Mitsu, how could you not tell him the truth? How could you not tell me that he heard?”
“Does it matter that he thinks that?” Tsukada asked, finally joining the conversation. “I mean, he is one of our staff, and I don't want him to be sad, but why does it matter that he heard.” He glanced at Goseki, who after glancing at the stricken look on Totsuka’s face, nodded. “Does it matter that he thinks his invitations to go out with you were always refused because you thought he was annoying?”
“Of course it matters…” Totsuka’s voice was sharp. “I…. Mitsu, why didn't you tell me?” Totsuka changed the subject, moving back to the source of the entire issue, and Kitayama stepped back, still looking at the ground.
“I didn't think it mattered that much to you. I knew that he was sad, but I am not sorry that I was trying to protect you from him. You did say that you had an overly persistent stalker. I was trying to protect you.”
“I can protect myself.”
“Besides,” Kitayama’s voice was sharp. “If his happiness and his opinion means so much to you, why do you always tell him that you will go out with him later. You know that you can cancel on me if you wanted.”
Totsuka looked at Kitayama incredulously, and was surprised when it was Fujigaya who answered.
“Hiromitsu Kitayama, I thought you were a better person than that. You and Tottsu have had your man dates every week for years. Its important to you both. You know that Tottsu wouldn't cancel on you unless it was necessary. But more than that, how dare you try and say this is his fault. You meddled where you were not needed. You tried to keep them apart, and apparently were quite successful. You are the reason that Hashimoto was sad, and quite honestly, you are the reason that Hashimoto needed to do the show to begin with. He needed a distraction, and to get away from the bar for a while.”
“I-“
“Tottsu, I am sorry that I didn't make him tell you sooner. I thought he was a better person than that.” Fujigaya’s voice was sad, but Totsuka just smiled, his smile a little sad.
“It isn’t your fault, Taipi. It is something that he should have done himself. However, maybe this week its best that Mitsu and I don’t have our man date, as you call it. I need to think about everything.”
“Tottsu-“
“You know I would never want to hurt him like that, or to let him think that I thought badly of him. I am disappointed that you thought it would be OK to not tell me.” Totsuka looked at to group. “But if you will excuse me, I think I will go home now. Suddenly, I am not feeling well.”
“Of course, we will see you later. Thank you for coming to the show tonight. I know that it meant a lot to Ryosuke to have you here.” Goseki smiled and Totsuka nodded.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Kawai watched Totsuka leave before sighing. “We are going to have another sad moping artist on our hands, aren’t we?”
Everyone, except Kitayama, nodded.
“Seems that way.”
Choose what you want was something that he had always been told. And the way that he strove to live his life.
But, after the recent debacle with Mitsu, and Hasshi, it seemed that Tottsu did not know what he wanted.
He knew that he missed Hasshi smiling at him from across the bar. He new that he missed having Hasshi ask him out every day. And he wanted to say yes. He had. He had always meant to say yes. Knowing that his 'best friend' was always running interference and keeping him from Hasshi was.... Disturbing. However, Tottsu had never told Mitsu, or anything that he wanted Hasshi.
It was something that he was only now realizing with the giant hole in his life.
A hole that had never existed before.
Watching Hasshi on stage had made him realize many things.
The warmth that he felt when the other smiled across the room at him was probably not just friendship.
The nervousness in his stomach before a performance was worse when Hasshi was there watching him.
He had been a fool not to realize that there was something in the eyes that were smiling at him from across the room.
While he loved his best friend, as a friend, Mitsu's sudden interesting in his personal life should have been a big red flag, as he had never done something like that before.
The breathlessness at he had experienced when Hasshi was dancing had been like a punch in the stomach.
His passion.
His voice.
His movements.
And, Tottsu would admit, his body.
That was perhaps the biggest clue to everything and the one that shocked him both the most and the least.
It made everything else make sense.
But he had never really liked someone before.
He had hooked up with people. Drunken nights after parties or after clubs. But he had never liked anyone enough to chase them.
And he had never been chased. He had thought.
That was wrong. As clearly he had been chased. And he just had not realized it.
And everyone else in the world, except him, had.
He felt really stupid. Incredibly stupid. But there was nothing that could be done about it now.
Except maybe wait.
And the next time Hasshi invited him out, he would say yes. No matter what.
Except, of course, things in life were never quite that simple.
Summary: In Which Hasshi Has Many Feelings For Tottsu, And Tottsu Doesn't Notice.
Part 1
Right now, they were in a little bit of shock. They, at least everyone who was not Goseki or Tsukada, was in shock. They did not have to wait too long for Hashimoto to come bounding over to them after the show, sporting jeans and a t-shirt, his normal, casual style.
"Gocchi, thanks for the help! I think tonight was the best yet!" Hashimoto slung an arm around the other in a quick hug before smiling at the rest. "Thanks for coming tonight. I am glad that everyone was free."
"Goseki-sama helped you?" Kitayama piped up, asking the question that everyone was wondering, and Hashimoto did not answer for a moment, looking instead at Goseki, who nodded.
"Gocchi did all my choreography and Tsuka-chan--"
"I am the best acrobatics coordinator this place has ever had."
"You are the only one, Tsuka-chan. No matter how many times you retire or we try and get rid of you. You are Goseki-sama are still the most request combination" Miyata's words were softened by his cheerful tone and his grin. "But we need to check your calendar. The rehearsals for the next show are coming up. And after watching 'Mercury' and Snowman, they have some new ideas for changes they want."
Tsukada looked towards Goseki, but Miyata shook his head. "They want an entire separate and additional acrobatics section. And Goseki-sama isn't doing the choreography for the next show."
"We decided to give the new guy a shot. Plus, if you are gonna be here more one of us needs to run the bar."
"I can! I will be back full time soon." Hashimoto looked at Goseki with hopeful smile and wide eyes, and Goseki laughed.
"Not yet, Ryosuke. Maybe one day I will trust you with the bar. Just because you pulled the show off doesn't mean I am happy with you."
"I know, I know, but I am eating more. I promise. I have been on Tsuka-chan's special diet and everything."
"Still can't be trusted!" Tsuka-chan added as Miyata pulled him across the room and Hashimoto deflated.
Now that he looked at him a little closer Kawai could see how much weight the other had lost, the slight pallor of his skin, and the dark circles underneath his eyes.
"It was a really good show, Ryosuke, I am proud of you, we all are." Goseki commented when Hashimoto seemed to deflate more, and Kawai was scooping Hashimoto into a hug before his pout could grow any larger.
Kawai didn't let go as Tottsu spoke, as he could feel the sudden tension in Hashimoto's body.
"It was a good show. There were a few songs I wasn't familiar with. Where did you get them?"
“I…” Hashimoto paused for a moment and Kawai hugs him a little tighter, watching as Hashimoto looks at Totsuka for a moment before looking away. “I didn't get them from anyone.”
“What do you mean?” Totsuka asks, looking confused, and Kawai suddenly understand why Hashimoto was tense, why he wouldn't look at Totsuka.
Hashimoto had performed original songs on a stage that Totsuka would love to perform on. And the songs were good. Hashimoto had been given a chance to perform on stage, as a way to get him to stop moping about Totsuka, and a way to make Totsuka realize that he cared for Hashimoto. Neither part of that plan seemed to be going smoothly.
“You wrote them?” Kitayama burst out, and Kawai should not have been surprised at the older man’s outburst. He always could be counted on to ruin the mood, especially between Hashimoto and Totsuka. Always, without fail.
“I-“ Hashimoto stopped speaking when a new arm slipped around his waist. “Ah, is it time?”
Kawai peered around Hashimoto to see of the Snowman members pressed against Hashimoto’s side, looking for all the world like be belonged there. Kawai was surprised to realize that he was one of the semi-regulars at the bar. Apparently Goseki and Tsukada were popular both at Shokura and at their bar.
“Thanks again for coming.” Hashimoto stepped away from the group, his smile wide, and the Snowman did not move away from his side.
“You aren’t going to eat with us?” Totsuka asked softly, and Kawai followed the line of his gaze, to Hashimoto. Hashimoto had an arm casually around the other man. But Kawai was surprised to see that the other man had his hand resting low on Hashimoto’s waist, playing with the edge of his jeans. Hashimoto didn't seem to even notice, but as if feeling Totsuka’s gaze the Snowman pressed closer.
“Nope, it's the final night so we are taking Hasshi out to celebrate. We always take good care of him, so don’t worry, you will get him back in one piece.”
The snowman steered Hashimoto away from the group, looking back over his shoulder to wink at them.
“I…I had hoped he would eat dinner with us.” Totsuka’s voice was soft. “It feels a little like he is avoiding us.” Totsuka continued and Kawai could see Kitayama stiffen beside him.
“I am sure that he doesn’t have a reason to be avoiding you, or does he?” Fujigaya’s voice was sharp as she slip up beside the group, and Kawai could see Kitayama’s eye widen in panic.
Kawai was curious. Was Fujigaya really going to throw his lover under the bus?
“They have been good to Hasshi. He was really sad when he started rehearsing his show. It was not like him. They have worked hard to cheer him up. I will be unhappy if he ends up sad again when we send him back to you.”
“Taipi, you know that we weren’t the reason that he was sad.” Goseki’s voice was mild, and Kawai was beginning to see what was happening, and he hard to try hard not to laugh at the increasing look of discomfort and panic that was moving across Kitayama’s face.
“Hasshi was sad?” Totsuka asked, his voice catching a little. “I didn’t notice…”
“He didn't want you to notice.” Kawai added, his gaze locked on not Totsuka, but Kitayama. “But yes, he was sad, and it seems that this show did a lot to cure him of that.”
“Do you know why he was sad?” Totsuka looked around, and it was then that he noticed that Kitayama was looking panicked beside him, his body stiff and his expression terrorized. “Mitsu, what’s wrong? Did you know also?”
Kitayama nodded, his body deflating, and his gaze dropping to the ground. “I do.”
“So-“ Totsuka stopped speaking when Kitayama shook his head.
“I know why, its my fault, actually.”
“Huh?” Totsuka eloquently answered and Kitayama shifted in place.
“Tell him, Hiromitsu.” Fujigaya’s voice was sharp, and Kitayama took in a nervous breath.
“He might have been under the impression that you thought that he was a creepy annoying stalker, and so-“
“Of course I don't!” Totsuka interrupted, looking at Kitayama in shock.
“He heard us that night, the night you left your music at the bar. He…. Hasshi was going to bring it to you, but he heard us talking, when you asked why I was trying to keep you to apart. I-“
“Mitsu, how could you not tell him the truth? How could you not tell me that he heard?”
“Does it matter that he thinks that?” Tsukada asked, finally joining the conversation. “I mean, he is one of our staff, and I don't want him to be sad, but why does it matter that he heard.” He glanced at Goseki, who after glancing at the stricken look on Totsuka’s face, nodded. “Does it matter that he thinks his invitations to go out with you were always refused because you thought he was annoying?”
“Of course it matters…” Totsuka’s voice was sharp. “I…. Mitsu, why didn't you tell me?” Totsuka changed the subject, moving back to the source of the entire issue, and Kitayama stepped back, still looking at the ground.
“I didn't think it mattered that much to you. I knew that he was sad, but I am not sorry that I was trying to protect you from him. You did say that you had an overly persistent stalker. I was trying to protect you.”
“I can protect myself.”
“Besides,” Kitayama’s voice was sharp. “If his happiness and his opinion means so much to you, why do you always tell him that you will go out with him later. You know that you can cancel on me if you wanted.”
Totsuka looked at Kitayama incredulously, and was surprised when it was Fujigaya who answered.
“Hiromitsu Kitayama, I thought you were a better person than that. You and Tottsu have had your man dates every week for years. Its important to you both. You know that Tottsu wouldn't cancel on you unless it was necessary. But more than that, how dare you try and say this is his fault. You meddled where you were not needed. You tried to keep them apart, and apparently were quite successful. You are the reason that Hashimoto was sad, and quite honestly, you are the reason that Hashimoto needed to do the show to begin with. He needed a distraction, and to get away from the bar for a while.”
“I-“
“Tottsu, I am sorry that I didn't make him tell you sooner. I thought he was a better person than that.” Fujigaya’s voice was sad, but Totsuka just smiled, his smile a little sad.
“It isn’t your fault, Taipi. It is something that he should have done himself. However, maybe this week its best that Mitsu and I don’t have our man date, as you call it. I need to think about everything.”
“Tottsu-“
“You know I would never want to hurt him like that, or to let him think that I thought badly of him. I am disappointed that you thought it would be OK to not tell me.” Totsuka looked at to group. “But if you will excuse me, I think I will go home now. Suddenly, I am not feeling well.”
“Of course, we will see you later. Thank you for coming to the show tonight. I know that it meant a lot to Ryosuke to have you here.” Goseki smiled and Totsuka nodded.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Kawai watched Totsuka leave before sighing. “We are going to have another sad moping artist on our hands, aren’t we?”
Everyone, except Kitayama, nodded.
“Seems that way.”
Choose what you want was something that he had always been told. And the way that he strove to live his life.
But, after the recent debacle with Mitsu, and Hasshi, it seemed that Tottsu did not know what he wanted.
He knew that he missed Hasshi smiling at him from across the bar. He new that he missed having Hasshi ask him out every day. And he wanted to say yes. He had. He had always meant to say yes. Knowing that his 'best friend' was always running interference and keeping him from Hasshi was.... Disturbing. However, Tottsu had never told Mitsu, or anything that he wanted Hasshi.
It was something that he was only now realizing with the giant hole in his life.
A hole that had never existed before.
Watching Hasshi on stage had made him realize many things.
The warmth that he felt when the other smiled across the room at him was probably not just friendship.
The nervousness in his stomach before a performance was worse when Hasshi was there watching him.
He had been a fool not to realize that there was something in the eyes that were smiling at him from across the room.
While he loved his best friend, as a friend, Mitsu's sudden interesting in his personal life should have been a big red flag, as he had never done something like that before.
The breathlessness at he had experienced when Hasshi was dancing had been like a punch in the stomach.
His passion.
His voice.
His movements.
And, Tottsu would admit, his body.
That was perhaps the biggest clue to everything and the one that shocked him both the most and the least.
It made everything else make sense.
But he had never really liked someone before.
He had hooked up with people. Drunken nights after parties or after clubs. But he had never liked anyone enough to chase them.
And he had never been chased. He had thought.
That was wrong. As clearly he had been chased. And he just had not realized it.
And everyone else in the world, except him, had.
He felt really stupid. Incredibly stupid. But there was nothing that could be done about it now.
Except maybe wait.
And the next time Hasshi invited him out, he would say yes. No matter what.
Except, of course, things in life were never quite that simple.