Choices (Fujikita)
Choices, a Fujikita fic
A follow up to this
Tsukada and Kawai had not said anything to him about it since they had picked him up that night, Tsukada just driving them to Kawai’s place, before driving back off into the night, and Kawai liked Kitayama enough as a person, had always though that you didn't do things like that to a person.
He had asked Fujigaya, many times, why it was that he put up wit that, why he didn't say something sooner, why the always let the other come back, and on some level the answer was easy. Fujigaya was a pain in the ass sometimes, his schedule was hell, and he wasn't a good boyfriend, or a nice one. He could be, if he had the time, but his lack of time meant he had to prioritize. And the job had always won before.
And he had broken his share of hearts. More than he cared to admit.
So the thing with Kitayama, when the older man had approached him made sense. They were always at one another’s throats anyways, why not redirect the tension into something useful. He didn't deserve better, not really. He hadn’t done anything to earn a relationship worth being cherished
Supposedly one-sided feelings. Except maybe not so one-sided. Which made the entire thing fucked up. But at least this time, Kitayama had been mostly sober when he uttered the words, though they had shocked him. And Yokoo as well. But hearing the words from Fujigaya, words that Kitayama had not denied, and Kitayama’s response had been surprising.
But I like you.
He wanted to give Kitayama a change, to see if he really meant it. And his behavior seemed to indicate that he did. He had been wandering around lost for weeks. He looked sad every time Fujigaya tensed as he slid close. It wasn't enough for the cameras to pick up on, but it was enough fort he other man to experience.
So when this time, Kitayama sat next to him on the couch, the chaos of the room moving around them, and said softly,
“I am sorry. I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. I treated you like shit. And there is no excuse. I was an asshole. And I know that you have no reason to believe me. But I would at least like to be friends? If you can’t believe me-“
“It isn’t that I can’t believe you. I am just not sure I can trust you. How do I know it wont happen again? How do I know you wont hurt me more? Worse?” Fujigaya voiced the thoughts that had been in his head since the encounter in the parking lot. Ones that he had voiced to Yokoo and to Kawai, and he was no closer to an answer.
“I cant promise that we will always het along, you know that we wont. But I will do my best to make you happy, and show you that I am serious. I always was, I just… It doesn't matter, not really.”
Fujigaya took a breath, as if you answer, but there was a knock on the door, and they were informed that it was time for them to start shooting.
Kitayama stood, and Fujigaya stood as well, bumping slightly against his shoulder.
“Take me out for coffee tonight and I will consider it.”
“Eh?” Kitayama gaped.
Nothing ventured nothing gained, they would say. And Kawai and Yokoo would kill Kitayama if he pulled something like that again. Fujigaya tossed him a tentative smile.
“However, the coffee better be amazing.”
A follow up to this
Tsukada and Kawai had not said anything to him about it since they had picked him up that night, Tsukada just driving them to Kawai’s place, before driving back off into the night, and Kawai liked Kitayama enough as a person, had always though that you didn't do things like that to a person.
He had asked Fujigaya, many times, why it was that he put up wit that, why he didn't say something sooner, why the always let the other come back, and on some level the answer was easy. Fujigaya was a pain in the ass sometimes, his schedule was hell, and he wasn't a good boyfriend, or a nice one. He could be, if he had the time, but his lack of time meant he had to prioritize. And the job had always won before.
And he had broken his share of hearts. More than he cared to admit.
So the thing with Kitayama, when the older man had approached him made sense. They were always at one another’s throats anyways, why not redirect the tension into something useful. He didn't deserve better, not really. He hadn’t done anything to earn a relationship worth being cherished
Supposedly one-sided feelings. Except maybe not so one-sided. Which made the entire thing fucked up. But at least this time, Kitayama had been mostly sober when he uttered the words, though they had shocked him. And Yokoo as well. But hearing the words from Fujigaya, words that Kitayama had not denied, and Kitayama’s response had been surprising.
But I like you.
He wanted to give Kitayama a change, to see if he really meant it. And his behavior seemed to indicate that he did. He had been wandering around lost for weeks. He looked sad every time Fujigaya tensed as he slid close. It wasn't enough for the cameras to pick up on, but it was enough fort he other man to experience.
So when this time, Kitayama sat next to him on the couch, the chaos of the room moving around them, and said softly,
“I am sorry. I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. I treated you like shit. And there is no excuse. I was an asshole. And I know that you have no reason to believe me. But I would at least like to be friends? If you can’t believe me-“
“It isn’t that I can’t believe you. I am just not sure I can trust you. How do I know it wont happen again? How do I know you wont hurt me more? Worse?” Fujigaya voiced the thoughts that had been in his head since the encounter in the parking lot. Ones that he had voiced to Yokoo and to Kawai, and he was no closer to an answer.
“I cant promise that we will always het along, you know that we wont. But I will do my best to make you happy, and show you that I am serious. I always was, I just… It doesn't matter, not really.”
Fujigaya took a breath, as if you answer, but there was a knock on the door, and they were informed that it was time for them to start shooting.
Kitayama stood, and Fujigaya stood as well, bumping slightly against his shoulder.
“Take me out for coffee tonight and I will consider it.”
“Eh?” Kitayama gaped.
Nothing ventured nothing gained, they would say. And Kawai and Yokoo would kill Kitayama if he pulled something like that again. Fujigaya tossed him a tentative smile.
“However, the coffee better be amazing.”