my computer desktop is acting up :( i'm afraid i'll end up having to format both hard disks.

currently backing up files as much as i can.

not just today
i am full of rage
at night always in despair
for i have buried
all the beauty
and hatred has wholly consumed me

I have read so many poems ( Read more... )

and i never thought
this day would come

me falling for you
again

just like when we were kids
you throw pebbles at my feet
and i cry till you brush my shoulders
swollen eyes and your sorrys

was it?

when i asked for time to stop

when i finally gave in

praying for you to better

all i get is this slowing pulse

half a crescent moon
pacing and playing through the sky
shot with the bitter nostalgia
i chase it with lime
the way he fiddles
constantly playing a record
that leaves a sour taste in my mouth
drifting to sleep
he still waits for me
to kiss him goodnight

just when something big was about to happen ( Read more... )

I've always been afraid of change,

Whether it's changing a phone case or pursuing another field,
it never ceases to give me this sinking feeling in my stomach and
i just never know how to handle it.
do you get used to it?
i type words of encouragement for myself
write down all words synonymous to positivity
until it sinks in

mainly from all this digging up for arashi files because i need to binge and experience nostalgia

honestly after hearing about hana nochi hare and seeing matsujun's cameo

i just fell in this colorful never ending abyss that is the arashi fandom

i love life

soooooooooooooooooooo

as i have apparently deleted everything on my account after 3 years lol which was crazy i know but it did feel like the right thing to do at that time

but anyway im finally backkkkkkkkk

ready to get sucked in all my current and past fandomz