Comments | dmhgficexchange: Of Ducks and Roses [PG-13] for ayboo_da

ferretbush_post in dmhgficexchange

Of Ducks and Roses [PG-13] for ayboo_da_bish (4/4)

May 18, 2011 18:50

Title: Of Ducks and Roses
Author: The Virgin Butterfly
Rating: PG-13
Recipient: ayboo_da_bish
Disclaimer: J.K.R’s characters are not mine.
Warnings: Minor character death, slight innuendos, alcohol usage and swearing. (Ha ha… just noticed I wrote down no character death as a no-no on my form… oh well…)
Author Note: The last chapter. I hoped you ( Read more... )

Comments 16

artsyjeans May 19 2011, 00:21:23 UTC

I like this but I don't understand why Hermione left. It just seemed a little unclear for me. But other then that I enjoyed it. Part three was my favorite section.

artsyjeans May 19 2011, 17:01:48 UTC

thank you1 i loved writing ch. 3!

cklls May 19 2011, 00:37:33 UTC

Nicely woven tale, though I do echo artsyjeans confusion about why Hermione disappeared. Regardless, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. There were several grammar, punctuation, spelling and word choice (homonym)errors sprinkled throughout your story, and that's always a little distracting. You do have a good knack for story-telling and I enjoyed your work!

mccargi May 19 2011, 00:52:05 UTC

I really enjoyed this, but the ending seemed a little rushed. After the detail given in explaining and developing the rest of the story it seemed to just skip over the issues that are at the heart of the resolution. The rest of it is so well done and you do such a wonderful job with characterization, voice, and details throughout the rest, I would like to see the culmination get the same treatment. Aside from that thought a really wonderful story, you have a nice build up and really great character development! I really enjoyed this.

unseen1969 May 19 2011, 01:40:38 UTC

Hi Mystery Writer!

I especially loved the action of Part 1. I felt the energy all around me. I felt you did a wonderful job with the tension and build up there!

I am so glad to see your story posted. :) As your humble beta, if you'd like to add some final spit and polish and work out the kinks we weren't able to get to, due to submission deadline time constraints, LET ME KNOW! I am more than willing to lend a hand.

unseen1969 May 19 2011, 17:10:22 UTC

"MYSTERY writer" *snort* XD

deffinatly want to beta it to within an inch of its cyber life before i post it on ff.net and would love to use your super powers again!

drcjsnider May 19 2011, 02:39:34 UTC

I agree the ending was a bit random... I don't know why Hermione left... Draco seemed to be showing he loved her through his actions. I also don't understand why Ginny freaked out at the end and why Harry/Ginny didn't tell Draco sooner where she'd gone... the could obviously tell Draco was upset and loved/missed Hermione.