Comments | dkountz81: And it comes back . . .

dkountz81

And it comes back . . .

Feb 19, 2009 12:10

Keith (my husband) and I met in photography class. For a while it was something we could share, something we could do together and offer support for each other in. But as our respective styles emerged he got less and less supportive of my work, often refusing to discuss it because it was "technically unsound". His style was very clean, with near ( Read more... )

keith, photo

Comments 7

sstormwatch February 19 2009, 22:36:43 UTC

Yes, it is called marriage counseling. You learn to communicate, not attack. He sounds defensive to me. Maybe he might be technically perfect, but hasn't grown artistically. He might resent your artistic side. Or he might feel superior in his technical skills. Only he knows, and you both need to learn to talk, to communicate, and to be allowed to follow your mutual passion of photography, in your individual ways.

Look for a counselor or a pastor or someone you both trust to help you both learn how to talk to each other again.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

dkountz81 February 20 2009, 04:44:54 UTC

thanks for the input. we've tried counseling but it has yet to help. I'm thinking about calling another photographer friend of mine who we both really respect to see about having him mediate for us and suggest how we can improve as far as photo critiquing goes.
I really appreciate the hugs too, they go a long way.

jenlemus February 20 2009, 01:50:01 UTC

There is always something with husbands, isn't there?

Mine has a habit of keeping his mouth shut whe he shouldn't. On big things even, like buying a car. When we bought it, he said he was happy with it. I thought it was a compromise vehicle (a Toyota Matrix).

Four years later, he can't even drive it. Has refused to learn to drive a clutch, which he'd insisted he'd be fine with at the time. Calls it a "mommy car" too. He said he was feeling guilty because he'd been gone for a year (Iraq) so he just went along with anything I said. I'd gotten a sense at the time he was holding back, but he kept saying he was fine.

If I'd known he didn't like the Matrix I'd have bought the care I wanted, a Mini Cooper. His car is on its last legs, so he's now pressuring me to trade my car in so we can get something he's okay with ( ... )

dkountz81 February 20 2009, 04:51:58 UTC

true enough. I've told him that I need him to work on how he delivers his critique of my work, and I really do want to get his feedback. I wouldn't be so upset if I just didn't care. I actually get a lot of positive feed back from a great many people I respect, but it's not the same.
This is something we need to work on, and I can't let it go because that's going to seed resentment that we'll harvest years from now.

Sucks about your car though. he should really know how to use a clutch, they're so much more fun to drive AND knowing how to use one means you can drive just about any car or truck out there. It's a good skill to have.

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dkountz81 February 20 2009, 04:55:27 UTC

The sad part is that he really does try, but he makes assumptions and then sticks to them like facts. even when I prove him wrong. I don't know. he apologized and that was a big step for him, I really do think he wants to try, he just doesn't know how. We'll see.

Hi there... evilmommytina March 1 2009, 23:05:27 UTC

I became vastly curious about you and your photography once I viewed your set posted on the PHOTOGRAPHERS page. I too am an erotic photographer - and in fact, I believe I know the male model in your series... although I am not sure from where. I hope you forgive me jumping onto your journal like this ( ... )

Re: Hi there... dkountz81 March 1 2009, 23:14:21 UTC

I went ahead and added you on here and sent you an e-mail.

deb