I'm happy and sad at the same time...She brings light to my heart and hope to my head, but I know that she is not ready...And that scares me...Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwn, I'm tired...another lond week at work. I'm going for a four day weekend next week with my boss. We are taking his 2 snowmobiles up 2 Canada. I love work. I bust ass to make custom homes, ( Read more... )

Just another day,...I wish it wasn't,....oh wait,...it wasn't! HAHA! Last night, out of the blue,...I get a phone call. It was from *** ***...So, he says got your drums ready? I said no...but I can have them ready...WHY? I want you to move em into da studio to start jamming with us? I screamed,...YOU ARE FUCKING JOKING! RIGHT! He said, it's been a ( Read more... )

Ahh, the smell of money. If I told you how much I was making as carpenter,...I'm sure you think that your life sux!LOL It's funny, I lose my job,get a new one that pays more, lose that job, get a new one that pays more,..and so the cycle continues. HAHA! I am the lead carpenter for a GC in west hempstead, right now we are doing an extension on the ( Read more... )

Seems like today should be crappy,...It's raining, I feel like shit, and I didn't get much sleep last night. I have been having very vivid nightmares for the past three nights. I hate bad dreams. Since Alysha left, sleeping has not been difficult, it's actually been pleasent. Not because of her, but without Tobyn in the room, I sleep ten times ( Read more... )

So,....It's been a long time. I have been in a car wreckage of a freindship/relationship for the past year and I have finally been rescued. Alysha has been a big part of my life even before my son was born. Unfortunatley, as it turns out, she is a psychopath. She does not have the mental capacity to want anything in life, other than a minimum wage ( Read more... )

I got into a fight with my dad last night because I din't hear the phone ring when Alysha called me back. We got in each others faces and I told him he was not big enough to knock the shit out of me anymore. we came very close to throwing hands and then my mom came running down the stairs,...Let's just say he is very lucky, because I would not have ( Read more... )

I asked Alysha to deliver a note and ballon to my son on his b-day today. This has been the most important thing to me for five years,...when I called her at 3:46 her time,...it still was not done. I'm crying as write this. I cannot believe that I depend on people that claim to care for me so much,...but it seems that my determination is surpassed ( Read more... )

I can't find the way ( Read more... )

Alysha went back to Nevada today. I am alone again. HUH,... who would of thought? AHHHHHHHHH...work sucks...I am busting ass. My hands are bleeding. NEAT! Just got out of the bath. Going to bed,...things are so fucked up right now, I'm going to bed.

Does anyone stop caring,...give up? I think I have. I have arrived at a place that caring about other peoples shit has become farthest from my life. I'm sorry, destroy yourself, I won't be here tonight
Jernee