How do you know?

[ditaykan]

Sometimes, I wonder why I bother and I wonder if I'm being used. They say what disarms people most is humour, which was coincidentally the daily prompt for the 24th. However, I am tired of being the funnyman with the grin on my face. I am tired of being looked at as though I don't understand anything, and having my words and values discarded out of

Comments

[delaese]

Hon some people see it as weakness. Some people see using humour as meaning you are a victim, you are a target. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to be the peacemaker, the person you are trying to make peace with just wants a fight. I think it's time to stand up for yourself and stop taking crap from losers because they hate the fact that you refuse to lose along side of them. You are just as valid and valuable as a person as anyone else.

[ditaykan]

Oh, I know, and that's why I'm having such a prolonged bout of self-reflection right now.

It seems that being a peacemaker is not enough, you're right. Though it's not much of a fight. It's more like they want to be able to condescend. I need to learn not to back down when somebody is trying to tell me that something I know in my bones is correct is not. I need to learn to raise my eyebrow and point out how stupid something is, and to let people fall on their faces. I need to adopt a policy that I offer one solution, and if it's rejected for a stupid reason, they're on their own. Also to override people who interrupt me.

We'll see if I actually end up putting any of that into effect, but it's not likely that I won't try.

How are you doing? Are you feeling any better? Are your antibiotics working?

[delaese]

Just try hon. It breaks my heart that I think so highly of you and some people just crap on you. If I was there - heads would roll.

I'm doing better. I'm taking my drugs and not smoking and keeping warm, though I'm bored out of my socks. Tomorrow I am walking to the jewellry store across the street and asking them to put a tooth into a setting for me. I bought it at the Natural History Museum without realizing it was from my very favourite dinosaur!