How do you know?

[ditaykan]

Sometimes, I wonder why I bother and I wonder if I'm being used. They say what disarms people most is humour, which was coincidentally the daily prompt for the 24th. However, I am tired of being the funnyman with the grin on my face. I am tired of being looked at as though I don't understand anything, and having my words and values discarded out of hand simply because I brought them up.

There are those who call me morbid.

It is funny that, from those who do, I do not care. I have never, or rarely, felt judgement from those. Certainly not due to any morbid qualities.

I double-majored in college, am working towards medical school, and yet I am looked upon as being lesser. I offer solutions to things complained about, and have those solutions dashed upon the ground-- I suspect out of a lack of motive or real want for a solution on the parts of those to whom the solutions are offered.

Perhaps I should be more biting. Not sarcastic, but biting. The harsh truths. Learn to speak up, and to call others on their bullshit in places other than my own mind. Perhaps I should be more hesitant to offer aid to those in need.

I wonder what they would think of me then.

I wonder what my patron would.

I wonder if I know how to break the habit.