[HI ACADEMY. WASSUP. A couple of days after Lilo's little voodoo festival doo-hickey, this lovely message pops up on the comms bright and early!]
EEEEEEEEE!
GOOD MORNING~!
Isn't it just a magical, beautiful day, academy? I for one am looking forward to whatever it has in store for me! In fact, just because it's such a magical flippin' day, I'm
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Comments 91
Oh that sounds so wonderful!
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[That axe he mentioned, by the way? It's your axe, Astrid. Your most treasured axe, cared for painstakingly with love throughout the years. He is gripping it so hard the handle will begin to splinter any moment.]
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Oh my god, you totally have to come to the picnic later, okay? There's gonna be flowers, and those little sandwiches with the sticks-
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The blade of the axe is just under her chin, dangerously close to slitting her neck and/or decapitating her.]
WHEN I TELL YOU TO SHUT YOUR TITSUCKER UP, YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING TITSUCKER UP, understand?! Now I'm going to tell you this just once:
GET YOUR ASS IN THE SANDWICH AND MAKE ME A KITCHEN, BEFORE I WRING YOUR NECK OUT LIKE A SPONGE DRENCHED IN THE BLOOD OF THESE FUCKING FLOWERS.
[All the flowers within earshot have suddenly withered, making a noise that sounded suspiciously like shuddering and weeping.]
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Yes. A jumping hug. From Astrid.]
HELLLLLLLLGAAAAAAAAAAA! [First time she hasn't called you Lieutenant, or Miss Sinclair, even.]
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...Is your face frozen? You look startled!
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[She shakes it off, offering a little smile. And she opens her mouth to say something........ but nothing comes out. This fact makes her look worried all over again.]
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Can you not speak at all? Poor dear!
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Astrid, it's Elisa. Elisa Maza. We're friends, remember? I wouldn't stalk you.
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