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[principal_mouse]

BAD FIC MEME✒ Oh my incredibly beautiful rainbow-eyed gods, you're a character in a bad fanfic! The idea is to load down your usual RP with piles of cringeworthy description, awkward stereotyped dialogue, and improbable plot devices

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[obviousroyal]

Jasmine danced through the tall plants, skipping, spinning! What a beautiful day to be in Austria Agrabah!

"The dunes are alive, with the sound of muuuuuusic!"

I swear this is probably a real fic.

[oftheblacksand]

"Princess Jasmine, your singing completely healed my hand! Look I have a normal arm now! I owe you so much and we should get married!"

...that's horrible. and most likely true.

[obviousroyal]

"Oh my dear lord! Your heart has been blessed with the sound of muuuusic, as I'll sing once more~." She skipped over to her all-better fellow leader of a desert, taking his hands into hers.

"I go to your dunes, when my heart is lonely. I know I will hear, what I've never heard before! My heart has chosen you, and the sound of music, because Aladdin is a bore!"

Except replace "Jasmine" with some bizarre OC Mary-Sue Self-Insert

[oftheblacksand]

And he sweeps her into his arms, and hearts fly everywhere because their love is so pure and shit.

[cursedbyarose]

See that big hulking piece of man...er... monster meat?

Guess what. He's strong and sensitive!

Ladies, just look at that form, that grace, that fluidity of movement... not to mention that keen taste in fashion? For Beast is wearing a lovely flowery hat, pouring tea for his little tearparty of broken furniture that he fixed into makeshift dolls.

[letdownmyhair]

She's swooning. Ohhhh lordy, she is SWOONING.

But how could Rapunzel ever hope to even be seen by such a perfect creature? No, she couldn't bear that he tarnish his eyes by gazing upon her muddled facade. So she remains hidden in the shadows, hiding behind the potted plants and around dark corners, gazing at him longingly from afar, a love doomed to be forever unrequited and one-sided.

[cursedbyarose]

What is that delightful smell? Beast sniff the air daintily.

It... it smells like... sunshine... and lollipops... and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful! He turned around, and using his super animal nightvision prowess, seeing the girl.

"WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA, DEARY?" How could a lovely little girl that smelt so lovely ever say no to him, or Mr. Woodpile... or Ms. Broken-glass-glued-together-with-a-torn-painting?

[letdownmyhair]

OHLORD, PERFECTION INCARNATE SAW HER.

She attempts to duck back into her hiding place because he can't possibly be talking to her, not to her, plain little Rapunzel, no no no. Her bright green eyes dart to the side, searching for the deity that he must be addressing with that loud, manly voice.

Only when it's made clear by the spotlight over her head that he's talking to her does Rapunzel dare to open her mouth. "I... I..."

[an_un_fairfolk]

"How have I fooled myself? Let's count the ways.
For it has been too long since I felt this:
That feeling that will never, to me, pay
I long for a life of utter, true bliss!

"You have been a puzzle for oh-so long
Throwing thyself in my path each meeting,
That I had scare remembed that this throng
Of emotions once had been so fleeting.

"Never before had Puck felt so strongly
For a mortal heart and touch, such had fooled
Thy true Fae from entreating longingly
That first opinion doth be overruled!

"How sayeth I, without doubt, like a dove
This barren heart took flight with sight of love!"

[watersacrificed]

[She stares at Puck, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Those were the words she's always wanted to hear. Without warning she pounced on him, holding him tightly.]

OH MY GOD PUCK! That was THE most romantic thing I've EVER heard!

[an_un_fairfolk]

"My dearest! How I have longed to hold you so! Pray tell, where for art thou been?!"

[watersacrificed]

I've been in my totally awesome, beach house. Duh! Didn't you get my postcard?

But it doesn't matter, I'm with you again Snugglepoo!

[very_practical]

She had always been a good little girl.

Always behaved. Always got good grades. Always did just as she was told.

Well NO MORE. Little Jane Calvin woke up that morning and decided she was gonna go bad. She threw away all her good girl clothes and tramped herself up, donning on trampy globs of make up and trampy torn up clothes from Hot Topic. She got tattoos all over her arms and a nose ring and was now spray painting the side of the school.

"Heeheehee!" she giggled darkly. "There is no more sweet little Jane Calvin... now I'm--- JANET! Bwahahaha!"

[strawbeary_evil]

"No, Jane, no!" Lotso cried, falling to his knees. "Y'all aint duh sweet lil garhl ah yoosed ta know!", he drawled forlornly in his deep Southern deep Southern New Orleansian accent.

His heartbreak was so intense that he cried little plastic tears (because toys cant cry REAL tears, teehee!<3 ;p )

[very_practical]

She scoffs and gives a bratty laugh at the pitiful little cutesy pink teddy bear. Bah! She was too old for such childish, babyish things! Bah, BAH, BAH!

She kicks him away, cackling cruelly.

"The sweet little girl you knew is DEAD. Ha ha ha ha!!"

[strawbeary_evil]

Lotso just cries some more (oh nooooo), sobbing pitifully into his fuzzy pink hands.

He no longer smells like strawbearies, but wilted roses and sadness.

"How couldja??" , he bawls!
How had his sweet little Janey-poo wound up this way? What happened to the sweet little girl he loved, his wonderful owner?? He just wished that everything could go back to normal!!!1 D':>

[fearthefool]

Clopin groaned as he woke up for another day at school. He didn't want to get up today, he just wanted to lay in bed and be lazy.

he lay there until he got up, opened the door, took a shower, brushed his teeth, made coffee, toasted pop-tarts, then went back upstairs to get dressed and when he got dressed he wore a purple t-shirt with a purple design and also a long-sleeve balck t-shirt because he was gothic and he wore some arm-warmers with those little metal rings on the sides and also laces and fishnet underwear with fishnet socks under ihs huge baggy bondage pants which orbited his feet like a dutchess' dress and that also had metal rings and straps on them so he jingled when he walked. Then he laed up his converses which had two pairs of shoelaces in them and one was black and one was red and I forgot to mention what color his pants were they were black with purple stitching ((A/n: SORRY!!!!!!)) and then he took his iPod and put on Insane Clown Possee and went to school.

If I was drinking coffee -- I would have spit it out

[hoooly_ship]

And because Clopin was different that means he got bullied a lot. Big tough guys named Cortez and Frollo would shove him around on the field and take his lunch money, but there was a clever boy named Tulio who would always come around and trick them so he could save Clopin because he liked him.

Tulio was different too, but he wasn't a prep or a jock or even a geek, he was unique and intelligent and had his own style that made all the girls swoon over him. Too bad the girls didn't know that he was totally gay. And he was totally gay for the cute little goth boy, Clopin, who he liked because he was special and didn't conform to societies norms.

"Hi." He grinned. "Wanna sit next to each other during algebra?"

This meme will be the death of me.

[fearthefool]

"I'm not going to albegra," Clopin said. "I'M GOING TO CUT!"
And he didn't mean his wrists because even though he totally did that it's bad to cut your wrists.
And then he took out his cigarettes and ran out of the school to smoke even though smoking is bad for you he didn't care.

I can't even...

[hoooly_ship]

Tulio stood in the hallway dejected. The wind blew thru his silky hair as his blue orbs stared up at the sun.

Why didn't Clopin understand how much he loved him? Then some girls started talking to him and he walked away because girls were icky and he couldn't stop thinking about Clopin anyway.