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[principal_mouse]

BAD FIC MEME✒ Oh my incredibly beautiful rainbow-eyed gods, you're a character in a bad fanfic! The idea is to load down your usual RP with piles of cringeworthy description, awkward stereotyped dialogue, and improbable plot devices

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[fearthefool]

Clopin groaned as he woke up for another day at school. He didn't want to get up today, he just wanted to lay in bed and be lazy.

he lay there until he got up, opened the door, took a shower, brushed his teeth, made coffee, toasted pop-tarts, then went back upstairs to get dressed and when he got dressed he wore a purple t-shirt with a purple design and also a long-sleeve balck t-shirt because he was gothic and he wore some arm-warmers with those little metal rings on the sides and also laces and fishnet underwear with fishnet socks under ihs huge baggy bondage pants which orbited his feet like a dutchess' dress and that also had metal rings and straps on them so he jingled when he walked. Then he laed up his converses which had two pairs of shoelaces in them and one was black and one was red and I forgot to mention what color his pants were they were black with purple stitching ((A/n: SORRY!!!!!!)) and then he took his iPod and put on Insane Clown Possee and went to school.

If I was drinking coffee -- I would have spit it out

[hoooly_ship]

And because Clopin was different that means he got bullied a lot. Big tough guys named Cortez and Frollo would shove him around on the field and take his lunch money, but there was a clever boy named Tulio who would always come around and trick them so he could save Clopin because he liked him.

Tulio was different too, but he wasn't a prep or a jock or even a geek, he was unique and intelligent and had his own style that made all the girls swoon over him. Too bad the girls didn't know that he was totally gay. And he was totally gay for the cute little goth boy, Clopin, who he liked because he was special and didn't conform to societies norms.

"Hi." He grinned. "Wanna sit next to each other during algebra?"

This meme will be the death of me.

[fearthefool]

"I'm not going to albegra," Clopin said. "I'M GOING TO CUT!"
And he didn't mean his wrists because even though he totally did that it's bad to cut your wrists.
And then he took out his cigarettes and ran out of the school to smoke even though smoking is bad for you he didn't care.

I can't even...

[hoooly_ship]

Tulio stood in the hallway dejected. The wind blew thru his silky hair as his blue orbs stared up at the sun.

Why didn't Clopin understand how much he loved him? Then some girls started talking to him and he walked away because girls were icky and he couldn't stop thinking about Clopin anyway.

[fearthefool]

Clopin lit his cigarette and cried over Tulio. tulio was so handsome with blue-black-kinda-purple hair and those blue eyes, a little bit of stubbl on his chin which made him look rugged and a long thin beard down his chin and he was so perfect but they could never be togethr because Tulio was with that dumb blond slut Miguel and Miguel was such a prep anyways tulio could never love anyone as different as him.
So he cried and dripped mascara everywhere because he'd gotten his tear ducts swapped out for NYK coal black months ago.

[tiatiatiatiatia]

Like, oh em gee, it was Lottie, the most popular girl ever. And ew, it was little funny-looking gothboy.

Lottie had her hair and pink dress all perfect, because she was perfect. In every way. And blonde with blue eyes. She was so pretty, Helen of Troy would be jealous. And she was secretly a witch. Like Glenda, only with an accent and not going to befriend some green girl, and just because she sings and gets perfect grades because all her teachers fall in love with her doesn't mean she doesnt have any faults. Because she can get sad too.

Anyways, she passed him in her brand new shiny silver volvo, with her Firebolt broom in the trunk. But the car broke down a little ways in front of Emopin because she forgot to fill up on gas because it was supposed to be a hybrid.

EMOPIN <33333

[fearthefool]

Clopin scoweled at Lottie who was such a prep and so mean to him so he didnt' even care that her car broke down.
He kept walking but then he felt bad and walked back to see if she was alright and while he did that he stuck his head in the window as asked her if she was alright.
"Are you alright?"

<3333 OMG THIS IS SO HORRID ILU

[tiatiatiatiatia]

"My car broke down! I am so sad! But that's ok, because I'm secretly a witch, and you dont know that, so when you turn around I'm going to open up my trunk. And then I'm going to hop on my Firebolt. And then I'll be at school by the time you get there and you'll be all like SAYWAAAAAT."

But the trunk wouldn't pop open. DUN DUN DUUUUUN.

[fearthefool]

clopin instantly fell in love with her because she was so beautiful and he stared as the sun bounced against her blond locks which flowed like a river of beautiful sunshine in the summer breeze on a clear morning in France. Clopin was an exchange student from France and he was very homesick so he liked Lottie's hair even if he thought she was just a dumb prep.

And then he realized what she said.
"Oh my god you're a witch? But we can't have witches in this school!!!"

[tiatiatiatiatia]

"Why not? Didn't you know the school has a secret history of being a school for witches and wizards long ago but the normal people hated it so they killed all of them in the Salem witch trials and now it's a normal school?"

There was something different about clopin and she couldn't place her finger on it because it was something she never noticed before, which was his smexy gotee that was almost like a pirates but not.

[fearthefool]

Clopin's mouth dropped open because he never would have thought this brainless little preppy girlw ould know anything cool like witchcraft or abouthe salem withc trials but she was suddenly a whole lot more metal in his eyes.
He felt his eyes go in the shape of hearts and said "Oh I didn't know that about this school. Can you really do magic?"

[tiatiatiatiatia]

"Of course I can" she answered. "watch!"

she pulled out a sparkly pink wand with intricate doodles all over it representing the plight of Voldemort's more evil brother (who was secretly her real father and why she didn't have red hair like Eli La Bouff) and pointed it at a tree. It bloomed into a sakura tree and then it froze in it's place, sprinkling pretty delicate icy flower petals around the both of them.

[fearthefool]

"That's not metal!" Clopin thought to himself but he had to admit they wre very pretty just like Lottie and he liked watching the petals swirl around her hair.

[tiatiatiatiatia]

"I can make it metal too. Metallicus!" and just like that all the petals turned into little metal skulls but they didnt hurt and stayed flowy and pretty and circled around them both like the colors of the wind.

MUST NOT BE HYSTERICAL IN PUBLIC.

[fearthefool]

"THAT IS SO HARDCORE" Clopin shouted while the little metal skulls floated around them like sakura blossoms.

XDDD It's so haaaard not to laugh when you're supposed to be quiet XD

[tiatiatiatiatia]

"And that's only a taste of what I can do." Lottie was also secretly the most powerful witch in the world right now thanks to her uncle. All she had left to do was kill Voldemort and claim that throne. But since she was such a good girl, she would never abuse that power.

"Oh, btw, I like your beard."