Sticks and Stones

[differenceblog]

In 1981, Hemmer and Kleiber set out to examine the labels of "tomboy" and "sissy" in a midwestern school. They found that the children labeled by their peers as tomboys and sissies weren't actually any more androgynous than other children, but that there were specific behaviors that could trigger the labels, such as creativity in boys. The

Comments

[chown_me]

It is unclear whether the boundaries of gender-appropriate behavior are substantially different for adults and children.

I'm not sure whether there's a substantial difference, I often feel like I exist in a safe little bubble of queerness with my gay friends, my semi-accepting family, and my tolerant (if not accepting) coworkers, and it usually takes something blatantly homophobic or transophoic or sexist to make me realize that my life isn't the status quo. But what has been/is important to me as an adult, is that when those things do happen, I now have choices about how to deal with them. I'm no longer trapped in a classroom across from some jerk whispering the word dyke at me when the teacher's back is turned, unable to say anything or walk out in fear of my mother finding out that I had caused a problem. I can now confront a situation or I can retreat into my bubble, but either way I don't have to let myself be hurt.

[differenceblog]

Hm. I live in a very similar bubble. I can't recall a single instance where I really felt out of control of phobic reactions as an adult - I've always been able to walk away.

What I meant above is that I wasn't sure whether kids and adults defined "tomboy" and "sissy" on different terms -- was it (for example) more about behavior for parents and more about dress or speech impediments for kids? But I'm interested to see how the difference in standards that are applied to adults and children (i.e. adult tomboys vs. child tomboys) play out as well.

[dabunny]

I suspect the terminology isn't really as thought through for children. Children rarely think through why they're calling someone a name, at least beyond a simple binary I like/don't like that person, and then tend to apply labels arbitrarily based on behavior mimicking. (Note: I'm thinking early elementary school here. At some point the what-name-do-I-call-that-person-I-don't-like thought process evolves a bit. Though, oddly enough, it's very easy for most adults to slip right back into the same binary arbitrarity in stressful situations you big poopyhead!)

So while the question of gender perception in children is interesting, I'm not sure the labels chosen here really map properly to the information we find interesting...

[differenceblog]

I definitely think that's true. I had trouble figuring out the connotations of labels all the way into middle school (meaning I would accidentally call people by gender-innappropriate insults, calling boys "bitches", etc.) Of course, I was a late bloomer.