Comments | dieuterus: *Megdy* the Bob collective

dieuterus

Megdy the Bob collective

May 10, 2004 23:43

I'm not really going to write about my fish anymore tonight, but that was the only title I could think of.

I just had an idea spawned from reading way to many lj's with boring surverys and from an intense desire to make a bulleted list (this is your fault Mandy). So here it is: The Evil Monkey Survey of ( DOOM!! )

snails, survey

Comments 4

*Man_Man* dieuterus May 10 2004, 23:07:32 UTC

1. Did you click on this just because it involves monkeys of questionable moral value ( ... )

*Crystalline* Were Those Boring LJ Surveys In A Bold, Refreshing Color? dieuterus May 11 2004, 22:32:39 UTC

1. Did you click on this just because it involves monkeys of questionable moral value? You know, I don't even like monkeys that much and yet my room contains seven stuffed monkeys, an inflatable monkey with a small, interior bell that hangs from my ceiling, a monkey hat (with jutting ears), monkey stickers, punk monkey sandals, monkey clothing...yeah. Naughty monkeys secured my participation.

2. If you wear, let's say, wearing finely pressed trousers, and it was humid outside--so humid the trouser creases vanished--what would you do? I'd desperately pinch the lost creases for revival, making "One, two, three, CLEAR! Bzzzt!" noises.

3. Do you pronounce the "s" in "Camus"? If so/if not, do you really think you're saying it right? Well, this is a loaded question. I have library patrons who trust in my title & author pronunciation, but my very being protests "Muu"ing. Thus, I have the remarkable ability to switch between "Camuu"ing and "Cam-us"ing. It's like I'm bilingual!

4. There was this kid, we'll call him "Benjy," who saw an ( ... )

*Crystalline* A Continuation Because LJ Can't Handle The Flowing Articulation As One. And Is Dumb. dieuterus May 11 2004, 22:49:24 UTC

11. If you somehow successfully snuck a nail file passed airport security, would you be able to take over a large plane with it? A small plane? If it was hot pink.

12. Back to the story of Little Benjy and his spandex body suit. I know you're picturing this, so tell me, what color is it? Lavender. With a giant, chestal Nike logo.

13. Benjy refuses to take off the body suit. Even in the shower. He becomes fetid. This causes serious social problems for Benjy, who is already fragile-minded from his recurring nightmares and overwhelming phobia. Eventually, he is confined to a mental hospital. Who should pay for his bills? Nike.

14. Do you sometimes go to busy places just because you long for that impersonal herd warmth which is the last refuge against the terrors of your solitude and all your vague aspirations? I go to Walmart when I long for the impersonal herd warmth that seeps into my cranium, creating a claustrophobic reaction and shrieking terror of the light-bitch linoleum. I join the mall herd only, because the environment is ( ... )

thetiniestspark May 18 2004, 16:18:46 UTC

1. Did you click on this just because it involves monkeys of questionable moral value? No, I clicked it because Megan told me to. She scares me sometimes.

2. If you wear, let's say, wearing finely pressed trousers, and it was humid outside--so humid the trouser creases vanished--what would you do? I don't wear trousers because I'm not British. Problem solved.

3. Do you pronounce the "s" in "Camus"? If so/if not, do you really think you're saying it right? No, and I am right. Because it rhymes with "moo," and that's cool. Plus I saw it in a college survival book with helpful pronunciations to make you look like you know what you're talking about.

4. There was this kid, we'll call him "Benjy," who saw an amputee when he was little (the kid, not the amputee). Little Benjy, who didn't quite understand the circumstances of leg removal, had horrible nightmares in which his legs fell off unexpectedly. As he grew older, his fear of his extremities falling off prompted him to wear a body suit 24 hours a day. In his mind, the tight grip of ( ... )