*Megdy* the Bob collective
I'm not really going to write about my fish anymore tonight, but that was the only title I could think of.
I just had an idea spawned from reading way to many lj's with boring surverys and from an intense desire to make a bulleted list (this is your fault Mandy). So here it is: The Evil Monkey Survey of
1. Did you click on this just because it involves monkeys of questionable moral value? Yes.
2. If you wear, let's say, wearing finely pressed trousers, and it was humid outside--so humid the trouser creases vanished--what would you do? I would lose all sense of warmth and confidence of a world made for ordinary men.
3. Do you pronounce the "s" in "Camus"? If so/if not, do you really think you're saying it right? Yes. S's are the shit, and I refuse to utter Camus with any sound related to a cow.
4. There was this kid, we'll call him "Benjy," who saw an amputee when he was little (the kid, not the amputee). Little Benjy, who didn't quite understand the circumstances of leg removal, had horrible nightmares in which his legs fell off unexpectedly. As he grew older, his fear of his extremities falling off prompted him to wear a body suit 24 hours a day. In his mind, the tight grip of spandex was the only thing preventing his arms and legs from falling off. Have you had a similiar life experience? Yes, the Lady With No Toenails. For about seven years I'd only be barefoot in the shower/bath. Otherwise I'd have two pairs of socks and tightly tied shoes (the pressure holds on the toenails!). Junior year in highschool I worked my way up to flipflops, though I still have to stand abnormally far away from opening doors when barefooted (the door might hit my foot and pull off all the unsuspecting toenails.).
5. As far as numbers go, six is the shiznit, isn't it? Hell yeah.
6. Okay, have you ever taken an internet survey before and just really, really wanted some certain question asked of you? A favorite of some sort for which you actually have a preference, perhaps? Well, this is your moment. Answer that question here: Thursday.
7. What is the best kind of doritoes? Well, Cooler Ranch is definently up there, though the "er" part of that name always irks me. Cooler than what, exactly?
8. Quick! What's a really long, evil sounding Russian name? Umm, Rachmaninoff is Russian right? Sergei Rachmaninoff.
9. A small, happily-drawn hamster creature approaches you. It looks up at you with big black chibi eyes and holds up two fingers exclaiming "Oopaa!" How do you react? After consulting my calendar, I would cock my head and reply: "Heke?"
10. After closer inspection, you discover that your recently purchased 'Black Mystery Snail' is indeed not black at all! It is a pattern of dark red and brown with a hint of green and tan. Does this displace your belief in the "hints in the name" idea? My belief in that idea is shaken to it's very core. I will never again trust in a name.
11. If you somehow successfully snuck a nail file passed airport security, would you be able to take over a large plan with it? A small plane? Yes on both counts. My impeccible manicure skills would wow the crew into absolute submission.
12. Back to the story of Little Benjy and his spandex body suit. I know you're picturing this, so tell me, what color is it? I'm seeing a bright red.
13. Benjy refuses to take off the body suit. Even in the shower. He becomes fetid. This causes serious social problems for Benjy, who is already fragile-minded from his recurring nightmares and overwhelming phobia. Eventually, he is confined to a mental hospital. Who should pay for his bills? That all depends on how the amputee lost his leg.
14. Do you sometimes go to busy places just because you long for that impersonal herd warmth which is the last refuge against the terrors of your solitude and all your vague aspirations?
15. Do my feet need additional covering options? Perhaps made of blue suede? Should they cost more than a breadbox? Additional foot covering options are always nice, especially if they secure your toenails in place. I suggest spending slightly more than one would when purchasing a good breadbox, but less than one would spend on purchasing a solid gold breadbox.
16. The 'black mystery snail' is acting oddly. A before-now-unseen appendage is extending from the head region. It is waving said appendage at the top of the water. I am so freaked out right now, I don't know what it is...it's all spirally looking and kinda see-through. A penis? Is that a penis? I don't know, but now I can't find the head, and it appears to be seperating from it's shell. Or possibly giving birth. Did I buy a pregnant snail with a penis?
That is all.
I just had an idea spawned from reading way to many lj's with boring surverys and from an intense desire to make a bulleted list (this is your fault Mandy). So here it is: The Evil Monkey Survey of
1. Did you click on this just because it involves monkeys of questionable moral value? Yes.
2. If you wear, let's say, wearing finely pressed trousers, and it was humid outside--so humid the trouser creases vanished--what would you do? I would lose all sense of warmth and confidence of a world made for ordinary men.
3. Do you pronounce the "s" in "Camus"? If so/if not, do you really think you're saying it right? Yes. S's are the shit, and I refuse to utter Camus with any sound related to a cow.
4. There was this kid, we'll call him "Benjy," who saw an amputee when he was little (the kid, not the amputee). Little Benjy, who didn't quite understand the circumstances of leg removal, had horrible nightmares in which his legs fell off unexpectedly. As he grew older, his fear of his extremities falling off prompted him to wear a body suit 24 hours a day. In his mind, the tight grip of spandex was the only thing preventing his arms and legs from falling off. Have you had a similiar life experience? Yes, the Lady With No Toenails. For about seven years I'd only be barefoot in the shower/bath. Otherwise I'd have two pairs of socks and tightly tied shoes (the pressure holds on the toenails!). Junior year in highschool I worked my way up to flipflops, though I still have to stand abnormally far away from opening doors when barefooted (the door might hit my foot and pull off all the unsuspecting toenails.).
5. As far as numbers go, six is the shiznit, isn't it? Hell yeah.
6. Okay, have you ever taken an internet survey before and just really, really wanted some certain question asked of you? A favorite of some sort for which you actually have a preference, perhaps? Well, this is your moment. Answer that question here: Thursday.
7. What is the best kind of doritoes? Well, Cooler Ranch is definently up there, though the "er" part of that name always irks me. Cooler than what, exactly?
8. Quick! What's a really long, evil sounding Russian name? Umm, Rachmaninoff is Russian right? Sergei Rachmaninoff.
9. A small, happily-drawn hamster creature approaches you. It looks up at you with big black chibi eyes and holds up two fingers exclaiming "Oopaa!" How do you react? After consulting my calendar, I would cock my head and reply: "Heke?"
10. After closer inspection, you discover that your recently purchased 'Black Mystery Snail' is indeed not black at all! It is a pattern of dark red and brown with a hint of green and tan. Does this displace your belief in the "hints in the name" idea? My belief in that idea is shaken to it's very core. I will never again trust in a name.
11. If you somehow successfully snuck a nail file passed airport security, would you be able to take over a large plan with it? A small plane? Yes on both counts. My impeccible manicure skills would wow the crew into absolute submission.
12. Back to the story of Little Benjy and his spandex body suit. I know you're picturing this, so tell me, what color is it? I'm seeing a bright red.
13. Benjy refuses to take off the body suit. Even in the shower. He becomes fetid. This causes serious social problems for Benjy, who is already fragile-minded from his recurring nightmares and overwhelming phobia. Eventually, he is confined to a mental hospital. Who should pay for his bills? That all depends on how the amputee lost his leg.
14. Do you sometimes go to busy places just because you long for that impersonal herd warmth which is the last refuge against the terrors of your solitude and all your vague aspirations?
15. Do my feet need additional covering options? Perhaps made of blue suede? Should they cost more than a breadbox? Additional foot covering options are always nice, especially if they secure your toenails in place. I suggest spending slightly more than one would when purchasing a good breadbox, but less than one would spend on purchasing a solid gold breadbox.
16. The 'black mystery snail' is acting oddly. A before-now-unseen appendage is extending from the head region. It is waving said appendage at the top of the water. I am so freaked out right now, I don't know what it is...it's all spirally looking and kinda see-through. A penis? Is that a penis? I don't know, but now I can't find the head, and it appears to be seperating from it's shell. Or possibly giving birth. Did I buy a pregnant snail with a penis?
That is all.