(Untitled)

[dherblay]

Thanks to all for their kind comments. I'm too exhausted for coherency; I got fewer than six hours of sleep last night, and I've had a very full day. I won't claim it was a bad day -- I tend to do very well with specific problems. I rode the stationary bike for an hour first thing in the morning, then went over to the optometrist, who prescribed

Comments

[lynnmonster]

I'm so sorry for your whole family -- what a difficult time. Sounds like you had a long day, although you managed to get a lot done; the emotional toll of such situations is just incapacitating, sometimes. (And, of course, here's hoping that your grandmother only gets attention from the people that love her and those who are overseeing her care.)

[dherblay]

Thank you. I've been scared to use this icon!

[midnightsjane]

What I know from working in ICU for 25 years is that a catastrophic neurological event like this is devastating for the person, and that chances of recovery are slim, and at that would involve months of hospital care, with little chance of regaining independence. Hard enough for a young person, but for an elderly person, an almost impossible thing. I always tell my patients' families that even if the person isn't able to respond, their sense of hearing is still there. The sound of a loved one's voice is comforting, I'm sure. I know things are a little different here in Canada, but the person who is listed as the patient's next of kin usually has the ability to make decisions on the patient's behalf.
Take care of yourself.

[dherblay]

Well, I found the living will, so I think we're covered.

[ann1962]

Don't fear the Schiavo story situation too much. In hospitals every day, what you are dealing with goes on in much more personal less public way. The decisions that you have to make can be made without that fear. The Schiavo story was an anomaly in that. Sadly, these situations like your grandmother's happen every day, not comforting to you, but I am sure the hospital (and its ethics committee which is who decides these things in case of controversy) is prepared to deal with it.

[dherblay]

Oh, allow me my petty fantasies, will you?

[dherblay]

Thank you.

[wisewoman]

Having just witnessed how smoothly an exit can be managed, if a person's desires are expressed and followed, I hope a living will does turn up.

I would not presume to understand your relationship with your grandmother but it helped me greatly to be able to tell my father everything I wanted to tell him before he died. While there may not be a visible response, we were also told, as Jane says above, that the sense of hearing is most likely to remain intact in situations such as the one you are facing.

I know you know how I feel about this. My heart is with you.

[dherblay]

Well, I do have her living will. I don't really have much I want to say to my grandmother. Thank you.