Primeval: All Grief to Refrain

[desree_rd]

Title: All Grief to Refrain
Author: Desiree
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Stephen/Nick, Abby, Connor, Becker, OC soldier
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their various creators (who aren't me, sadly). Title is borrowed from the song Health to the Company, because I suck at coming up with one.
Summary: Not all anomalies bring death. Sometimes, they

Comments

[canadian_jay]

*finishes fic with lump in throat*

This was lovely, just... beautiful. I love the way you had it in second person in the intro, and the idea was wonderful and Stephen & Nick were just... *flails*

Brilliant fic, well done.

(Only one nitpick - I think "advise" should be "advice", but that might not be British, not sure.)

[reggietate]

(Only one nitpick - I think "advise" should be "advice", but that might not be British, not sure.)

Hee! Snap! It's the difference between advising someone of something, and giving them advice.

[canadian_jay]

*g* I thought that's what it was - but I know there also some words where there is a c/s difference for Brits/Americans/Canadians (yeah, we have some of our own rules on that one... xP), so I couldn't recall.

[desree_rd]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed! *offers a tissue just in case*

I wasn't sure about the 2nd person view, but sometimes, that's just how it wants to be written, so I'm glad it worked =)

Also, done, and thanks!

[reggietate]

Terrific story - the ending made me sniffle a little, but in a good way :-) And I hope that one day you do manage to find time and energy to write more of it.

I like the OC soldier's POV, and his thoughts on the team.

Only one small nitpick:

“I reckon no one here is going to be terribly upset with you, should you take a leaf out of your predecessor's book and lump Cutter one if he's being particularly unreasonable again.”

Actually? Good advise.

It should be 'advice', rather than 'advise' :-)

[desree_rd]

Thank you! And I hope so too, but I'm not holding my breath just yet *sigh*

Done. Thanks!

[lukadreaming]

This is absolutely gorgeous, and I snivelled a little at the end! The different voices in it worked beautifully, and the last line was lovely. I hope you're going to bring us more wonderful fic!

If you do ever want a Brit-checker/beta, just shout. I'm happy to do it, as are fredbassett and fififolle.

There are only very minor points. As the others have said, it should be advice (the noun) and not advise (the verb).

This sentence needs turning around a little:
“You're awfully calm about this,” deflected Cutter the sentiment instead.

You could make it: "You're awfully calm about this." Cutter deflected the sentiment instead.

It didn't take long for Hart to get with the program.
This isn't really a Brit expression -- you could use 'It didn't take long for Hart to cotton on.'

Otherwise, there were two minor tense slips -- I can let you know them if you want!

[desree_rd]

Thank you!

I'd want to apologize for making everyone sniffle, but since it's also kind of a compliment to me, it'd really be a lie...

If I ever do manage to write anything substantial again, I might take you up on that offer. My vocabulary tends to reflect the shows I'm watching, but since most of them are of the US make, I'm not as firm in British colloquialisms.

-This sentence needs turning around a little:
“You're awfully calm about this,” deflected Cutter the sentiment instead.
I thought it sounded weird when I proof-read, but sometimes I just manage to confuse myself when I think too hard on the grammar, so things like this happen -_-;

-It didn't take long for Hart to get with the program.
This isn't really a Brit expression -- you could use 'It didn't take long for Hart to cotton on.'
That's what I thought, but I couldn't think of an appropriate synonym.

Thank you again!

(Also, I think I just caught one of the slip-ups when I edited, but if it's not too much trouble, could you point your findings out?)

[lukadreaming]

Really hope you will write some more Primeval fic!

The tense slips I noticed were:

It's been so long since he felt like laughing, he'd been afraid he didn't even understand the concept anymore.

That should be: It had been . . . And any more is two words in UK English, btw!

Faint shouts of “Caitie!” reached his ear then, and Stephen felt guilty for almost forgetting about the little girl Lance Corporal Jenkins and he came here to retrieve.

That should be: . . . Lance Corporal Jenkins and he had come here to retrieve.

[desree_rd]

I do too. But in this hot weather, my inspiration is all but gone - for the moment, anyway (39°C in the shadows, wtf)

Anyway, thanks! Going to edit now.
He, they did teach us BE in school. To start with. And then I discovered fanfiction, and now my British spelling is shot to hell XD

[aelfgyfu_mead]

I want to be happy for them all, but my heart is aching for the Nick and Abby and Connor who have lost their Stephen. They now have a happier memory to add to the pile, but it doesn't seem quite enough!

I too would love to see what alt-Stephen does with this new information.

It's nice to see Becker fitting into the team. We saw precious little interaction between him and Nick because Nick wasn't around much after Becker joined!

[desree_rd]

No, it isn't enough, but at the same time it's better than nothing, I think.

And, well, we'll see. The ideas are there, but at the moment I'm just drawing a blank every time I put pen to paper *sigh* and the heat over here doesn't help me concentrate either.

Becker had me at 'Now he's Doctor Dolittle' *lol* As much as I miss Stephen and Cutter, I like the team dynamic in S3 (even though I like to theorize how they'd all fit together if, you know, no one died)

Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoyed!

[unseen_quill]

This was a beautiful fic. I liked the perspective it started out with, I loved the different POV's of what was going on. The emotion was palpable, especially from Nick and Stephen. The ending was so bittersweet, my throat closed up a bit too. Wonderful fic. I hope at some point there's more of it. :D

[desree_rd]

Thank you! So glad you like this =D