i ate a hamburger at five a.m. this morning. it was delicious.

i suppose there is more to talk about, but i think the burger sort of sums it all up.

wow. im in new york city for only two more months. more has happened here than i could ever ever explain. all i know is something has happened recently and i am so grateful to be alive that it almost puts me in a state of panic. I want to make sure i am LIVING all the time. i am young and im in the city and im in the middle of the world i want to ( Read more... )

i dont even know what to say, or what to think, or what to do. its no business of mine, but i feel levelled all the same. i hate earlham. when i come back i will stay in my room and speak only with 5 people maximum, or i will scream at the top of my lungs all the time swinging my arms around violently hitting everyone in my path indiscriminately. ( Read more... )

i love it here. i am so sad that i have to leave. i cant really explain everything that has happened and how i feel about it all, i can say that it is good. i love myself. i feel dynamic instead of static, i feel like i am making "progress." im not really progressing in any particular direction, but at least im moving, and im not going around in ( Read more... )

NYC. this is what i have been doing at SNL ( Read more... )

i am very very thirsty. there is no water in this dorm i can stomach, but i guess the alternative right now is too die of dehydration ( Read more... )

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you . really. fuck you.

man, i am addicted to lj. i can go weeks or months without writing anything, what i do write does not need to have substance, but i cant delete it or quit entirely. i guess thats ok. look guys, why is nothing a sure thing? ever. never. how can we live with so much uncertainty, nothing is constant, except maybe a parent's love, and i suppose even ( Read more... )

wow, i feel such a need to express myself right now. i want to express myself to "people" in the abstract, put something out there. Thats what this journal should be for, but there is so much i am thinking that i shouldn't be and that i cant write. i feel awake, but also maybe that im faking it...i just dont trust myself. i am fascinated.

important but unpleasant things have been said. more need saying. im a good but flawed perrson, as are we all. im not going to guilt myself anymore, im just going to correct what i know i have been doing wrong, and maybe attempt to explain myself. im angry, and sad, and confused, and also ashamed. but you know, itll be alright. my life is great