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vivider December 15 2009, 02:24:54 UTC
Okay, I haven't been in a Japanese class in months, so feel free to ignore my advice. XD But here's just what I think...

I would use ああ、ああ or はい、はい instead of やれやれ, just because the latter I typically see as a sign of exasperation. idk, it seems like it fits better with the dismissive tone :x

And the first use of でも seems off to me... maybe try しかし?

ETA: Oh, and you don't have to use the をした form for burning. The verb is やく, so just 風間がやきました should be fine. WAIT, it's a transitive verb. omg. maybe you really don't want my advice on grammar :|

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derptacular December 15 2009, 17:08:34 UTC
S'okay, Vivs, I'm doing this so I can learn more about casual form- we really haven't covered much about it in class + adding in structures I learned recently.

but しかし might make more sense...I don't think we actually learned that word yet, tbh. Aaaaah, and I'm going into 202 next semester, what is this. *headdesk*

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vivider December 15 2009, 17:16:04 UTC
UGH, I hate how they don't cover casual structures well. It's totally more useful than polite ones. ~___~

しかし just means "however". I think Veers down there had the better idea, though - だが sounds the best imo. And don't worry about being unfamiliar with vocabulary like しかし; I picked up most of the useful stuff just from listening.

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veers1138 December 15 2009, 16:08:01 UTC
vivider December 15 2009, 17:14:16 UTC
AH, thank you, that's exactly what I was looking for! XD いたいんだが sounds much more natural.

As for transitive verbs, I'm going to have to tentatively agree with you there.

LISTEN TO HER, LII, SHE SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

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derptacular December 15 2009, 17:18:02 UTC
Considering the character's more of a tomboy, I was told to try using masculine language, so the softer meaning wouldn't make sense? But I can see where I screwed up in the grammar. Sensei, why aren't you letting us do more casual speech, it works better for my dialogue purposes, sob.

I was copying directly out of the book for the がやきました section - though it's listed as translating to "I burned myself", so that might account for it sounding weird. But that makes sense!

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veers1138 December 15 2009, 18:32:13 UTC

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