Romance: an alternate reality....
The other day, as I was waiting for Moira to do her business out on the common garden of our apartment complex, I began to wonder why I'd devoured the Fifty Shades trilogy, as if my life depended on it. Well, there was the huge fight I had with my husband, which though no longer an issue, was what had me immersed in the story rather than thinking about it at the time. However, as I started looking for more reasons, I wondered if they weren't only mine but shared by the millions of women obsessed with Mr. Grey.
Granted, I should probably be writing something more deep and profound, like what is going on inside my country. Quite honestly, I don't want to ruin my Friday by thinking that a small group of so-called and ignorant teachers can bring chaos to a city of millions, or can shake the foundations of an already disrupted educational system. Or worse, about the messianic ambitions of a man who freaks me out, or a group of students that confuse me with every passing day.
So here I am, talking about hearts and flowers, as Mr. Grey would say.
Let's face it. One of the things that attracts us women to the romance genre, is that the leading men are, let's be honest, a total opposite of what we have in real life. Now, before everyone starts labeling me as a typical desperate housewife or unsatisfied spouse, let me clarify my point. When I say that romance heroes are the opposite of what we have, it is not to criticize the real men in our lives, what I mean is the following.
Friday night, your husband just came home from work, and he asks the timeless question, what do you want to do? And there's usually the classic reply: "I don't know, what do you want to do?", then comes "I don't know, whatever you want, it's fine."
I know women before us fought for our right to hear that particular reply, "whatever you want to do" but wouldn't you want your husband to already have a plan and put it in motion, surprising you? Men in romance novels are assertive that way. They actually plan ahead and have everything set. It could either be a ride on a helicopter, gliding, or a simple reservation at a nice restaurant. Now, this doesn't mean our boyfriends or husbands don't put some effort into planning stuff for us from time to time. So long as it isn't during football season, NBA playoffs, hockey, or in my case, Champion's league, European Championship, the Mexican internal soccer tournament and of course, the world cup. For a clear example, of what planning is really like, check out this proposal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yNdpaSBTzo
Another reason has to do with the above. Have you noticed how men in romance novels put their women before any kind of sporting competition? I mean, Mr. Grey didn't even like to watch T.V.! There's no "after the game ends, sweetie" or "do you think we can arrive late so I can watch the game?" No! If only, they get anxious when their significant others aren't with them.
Hence, my next point. I know a dominant, overprotective, jealous man can be a really bad combination, especially now that women are used to getting by on their own in many fields. Yet, don't tell me there's not a hidden part of you that sighs whenever the hero in romance novels goes all ballistic, just because some random guy checked his girl out? This is our way to assuage our guilty conscience for wishing, against what is healthy and normal, that our man watched us like a hawk and went all caveman when the milk man said good morning, or took over our blackberry or Iphone by sending a message every five minutes.
Then, there's the family issue. Haven't you noticed that more often than not, these fictional men are eager, and I mean really eager, to start a family with the women they are in love with? In fact, they make the idea of having a kid sound sexy, romantic and really sweet, and not at all the nightmare men in real life have programed inside their heads, well some of them anyway (smirking knowingly). In fact, the hesitation toward starting a family comes from the women in these stories, probably trying to rescue some of that hard-fought feminism, that I'm certain, lifts a reproving brow every time a romance novel makes it to the best-sellers' lists.
And then there are those scenes that are the heart of romance novels, either light and not too descriptive, or those that as a friend who started reading Fifty Shades mentioned, make you blush. Those of us who are married know that there are many things in play that well, get in the way. Work, our daily routine, the fact that most of us own not too flattering pajamas, or that the second we put our head on the pillow, we start to snore.
I think the above (though Mr. Grey wasn't as keen on having children as other romantic heroes) is what makes the romance genre, one of the most profitable in countries like the U.S. And maybe what made women all over that country devour the Fifty Shades trilogy. Granted, most bought their copy electronically, because sadly, reading a romance novel can be severely criticized by others. Still, it gave women around the world a respite from what is real life.
I think there are books for everyone, and everyone knows why they choose to read a certain book, whether it is to unwind, or because that genre speaks to them. Romance speaks to me, which is why I read it and why I one day hope to be a part of it. And even though my platonic love for Edward Cullen has been replaced by my platonic crush on Christian Grey, in real life I am in love with my wonderful husband.
Granted, I should probably be writing something more deep and profound, like what is going on inside my country. Quite honestly, I don't want to ruin my Friday by thinking that a small group of so-called and ignorant teachers can bring chaos to a city of millions, or can shake the foundations of an already disrupted educational system. Or worse, about the messianic ambitions of a man who freaks me out, or a group of students that confuse me with every passing day.
So here I am, talking about hearts and flowers, as Mr. Grey would say.
Let's face it. One of the things that attracts us women to the romance genre, is that the leading men are, let's be honest, a total opposite of what we have in real life. Now, before everyone starts labeling me as a typical desperate housewife or unsatisfied spouse, let me clarify my point. When I say that romance heroes are the opposite of what we have, it is not to criticize the real men in our lives, what I mean is the following.
Friday night, your husband just came home from work, and he asks the timeless question, what do you want to do? And there's usually the classic reply: "I don't know, what do you want to do?", then comes "I don't know, whatever you want, it's fine."
I know women before us fought for our right to hear that particular reply, "whatever you want to do" but wouldn't you want your husband to already have a plan and put it in motion, surprising you? Men in romance novels are assertive that way. They actually plan ahead and have everything set. It could either be a ride on a helicopter, gliding, or a simple reservation at a nice restaurant. Now, this doesn't mean our boyfriends or husbands don't put some effort into planning stuff for us from time to time. So long as it isn't during football season, NBA playoffs, hockey, or in my case, Champion's league, European Championship, the Mexican internal soccer tournament and of course, the world cup. For a clear example, of what planning is really like, check out this proposal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yNdpaSBTzo
Another reason has to do with the above. Have you noticed how men in romance novels put their women before any kind of sporting competition? I mean, Mr. Grey didn't even like to watch T.V.! There's no "after the game ends, sweetie" or "do you think we can arrive late so I can watch the game?" No! If only, they get anxious when their significant others aren't with them.
Hence, my next point. I know a dominant, overprotective, jealous man can be a really bad combination, especially now that women are used to getting by on their own in many fields. Yet, don't tell me there's not a hidden part of you that sighs whenever the hero in romance novels goes all ballistic, just because some random guy checked his girl out? This is our way to assuage our guilty conscience for wishing, against what is healthy and normal, that our man watched us like a hawk and went all caveman when the milk man said good morning, or took over our blackberry or Iphone by sending a message every five minutes.
Then, there's the family issue. Haven't you noticed that more often than not, these fictional men are eager, and I mean really eager, to start a family with the women they are in love with? In fact, they make the idea of having a kid sound sexy, romantic and really sweet, and not at all the nightmare men in real life have programed inside their heads, well some of them anyway (smirking knowingly). In fact, the hesitation toward starting a family comes from the women in these stories, probably trying to rescue some of that hard-fought feminism, that I'm certain, lifts a reproving brow every time a romance novel makes it to the best-sellers' lists.
And then there are those scenes that are the heart of romance novels, either light and not too descriptive, or those that as a friend who started reading Fifty Shades mentioned, make you blush. Those of us who are married know that there are many things in play that well, get in the way. Work, our daily routine, the fact that most of us own not too flattering pajamas, or that the second we put our head on the pillow, we start to snore.
I think the above (though Mr. Grey wasn't as keen on having children as other romantic heroes) is what makes the romance genre, one of the most profitable in countries like the U.S. And maybe what made women all over that country devour the Fifty Shades trilogy. Granted, most bought their copy electronically, because sadly, reading a romance novel can be severely criticized by others. Still, it gave women around the world a respite from what is real life.
I think there are books for everyone, and everyone knows why they choose to read a certain book, whether it is to unwind, or because that genre speaks to them. Romance speaks to me, which is why I read it and why I one day hope to be a part of it. And even though my platonic love for Edward Cullen has been replaced by my platonic crush on Christian Grey, in real life I am in love with my wonderful husband.