i try and breathe
i try and think
but
every thought brings me back
same thing
again
and again

i dont know
what to do

i'd offer you my pulse
                and give you my breath
       if i thought it would do anything

the light that night
    was so bright
          -when you turned it on-
is nothing
          compared to the dawn
which is nothing
           compared to the light
    that seeps from you
          -that seeps from me-
when your cocooned
       ( Read more... )

i went to an Authorised Report Writer today
for my compensation
it was
intense

i am still shaking
but i am proud

i have
*never*
spoken about it like i did today
i feel lighter
but i know its just the beginning
baby steps kat
baby steps

so
so
very
proud!

*grin*

i'm posting here
because
i dont want to post elsewhere

i dont really want to post here either
where can i vent?
who can i talk to?
this is so frustrating...

"i'm so close to tears
so close to simply calling you up..."

i feel sick.

till i'm alive
then maybe you might get a reaction
i can't be bothered to follow
to bite
so beat me
till i bleed
then maybe
you might see me
the way i'm meant to be

"when everything starts to die
then even the dead can cry"

I've got the radio tuned to some lonely hearts talkshow ( Read more... )

Count Mew was off with Agent Orange getting busy with the wenches in the next empire. He came back to the castle early yesterday morning without even a hello, and fell straight to sleep. he rose about 12 hours later only to be fed and then went straight back to sleep again…

Sorrow engulfs the Kat Empire ( Read more... )

last night
i read everything i could
everything i wrote
15 journals on paper
3 journals online

and i decided
i not getting much better
but at least i'm trying

"I suck my touge in remembrance of you"
"I wouldn't mind spending little time with j00, sometimes, sometimes..."

Big Five Test Results Extroversion (20%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.
Accommodation (86%) very high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (62%) moderately high which suggests you ( Read more... )