The People of Forever (1/2) [for littlemelonblue]
Title: The People of Forever.
Recipient: littlemelonblue
Rating: PG-13 to 15
Word Count: 10,629
Warning(s): none
Summary: future!AU - kid!fic, in which jinyoung is a member of famous boy group and jaebum is the backup dancer. (youngjae? youngjae is their son, coming from the future.)
A/N: it’ll be awesome if you all can share my happiness for writing this in the comments \o/ dear littlemelonblue, trust me i was born to write this prompt LOL. hope you will liek eet.
part one | two
the last time jinyoung had felt like this, like there’s a harmless but untamed little monster inside of him that wouldn’t go away no matter how often he tried to tell it to please calm down, please, he will never look at me like i look at him, he was only fifteen-obsessed with the thought of being korean haruki murakami, writing poetic rambling about that one boy in his class who radiated like the sun, always blinding him with his crooked, cheeky smile and giving jinyoung a pleasant shiver whenever he ran his longlonglong fingers through his messy, sweaty hair at gym class and whispering jinyoung’s name with his cracked voice while they were all struggling with english quiz because he’s still confused about the proper use of your versus you’re.
jinyoung is nineteen now, far from writing anything but signing cd’s for nice girls and mature women who adore his face, his voice, his personality, and his group of four other boys singing about love, life, and everything in between. becoming an idol was never in jinyoung’s dream, he was just coming home from an english course when a forty-something man offered him a card with ‘JYP entertainment’ written in bold letters as he waited for the bus. the nicely dressed man said he came to busan to visit a relative, but you’re a very attractive young man, just in case you might be interested to build a career as an idol. and then he asked if jinyoung ever heard of ‘park jinyoung’ and jinyoung has always been a charming kid, so he answered, yes, of course i’ve heard of ‘park jinyoung’, that’s my name, sir. when the man laughed out loud at that, jinyoung thought he had a nice laugh. the man explained that the entertainment agency’s president name is park jinyoung, a.k.a JYP, see, that singer from the 90’s, your mom is probably a fan, so please come take a look around our headquarter at gangnam anytime you want, i’ll be expecting you!
(his mom, as it turned out, was a fan of seo taiji, but she gave her permission for him to come to gangnam to check out what’s the fuss about this ‘idol business’ and jinyoung went there with his two older sisters that weekend, and they both screamed when they caught a glimpse of wooyoung and chansung from boy group 2PM.)
so jinyoung is nineteen, he’s an idol in a boy group called GOT5, and after two agonizing years of training in singing, dancing, acting, MC-ing, developing his personal talents, and winning rookie of the year award, the harmless but untamed little monster inside of him has awoken again.
1
“are you alright?”
jinyoung keeps the sour face he’s been half-faking ever since they had lunch break today. GOT5 is going to have a comeback that is expected to be fantastic ever since they won rookie of the year award, and everyone is giving their a hundred percent, including jinyoung who can’t really master the swivel of hips he’s supposed to do during the chorus.
(which isn’t difficult to master at all, if jinyoung is being honest. he might be half-assing the dance in order to prove a very important suspicion.)
“what, hyung?” he mumbles his answer as he fiddles with the loose shoelace of his left converse. his half-faked bad mood is shooing everyone away; bambam is sprawled on top of yugyeom on the other side of the practice room, mark gave him a bottle of vitamin water before keeping his distance, and jackson, their leader, doesn’t dare to approach him when he’s in one of his infamous jr.’s blues that is acknowledged even among the fans.
jr., or junior, is jinyoung’s stage name, due to having the same name as the president of JYP entertainment, and he’s in charge of vocal, some rap, balancing the carefree and playful image of the group with his gentleness and dandyish appearance, and he’s the ‘observant umma’ to jackson’s ‘crazy appa’. him being sensitive and moody has got nothing to do with his role as the umma of the group because he’s always been sensitive and moody, like now, even though this one time he’s kind of faking it.
“nothing.” jaebum shakes his head. he takes off his snapback and his black hair is all damp and dull but jinyoung still wants to touch it anyway, like he always wanted (but never did) to touch his classmate’s sweaty, gym class hair.
jaebum squats in front of him, scrutinizing but not judging him despite jinyoung’s refusal to talk to anyone after lunch break eight hours ago. the older man opens his mouth, frowns, and sighs as he reaches out to tie jinyoung’s shoelace. his fingers aren’t that long, but the green veins coursing through the back of his hands and the bones of his wrists are giving jinyoung a pleasant shiver anyway.
“do you want to get fresh air? where’s your jacket?” jaebum asks as he circles his hands around jinyoung’s left ankle.
“why?” jinyoung pretends to be dumbfounded when jaebum gets to his feet. his suspicion is nearly proven to be true, or, at least he sure hopes so.
“because we’re going to get fresh air.” jaebum puts on his snapback again before he offers his open palms and jinyoung grits his teeth to prevent himself from smiling like a fool in love. their hands fit like a pair of gloves. he lets jaebum pull him up and he, deliberately, avoids everyone’s eyes when jaebum asks jackson to give them ten minutes outside.
jackson allows the ten minutes, because even though he’s younger than jaebum, he’s GOT5’s leader and he’s responsible for the members. he brings jinyoung his jacket, and jinyoung feels bad for acting moody for his own selfish reason, but he swears he’s not going to make it a habit once his suspicion that jaebum can sense the slightest change of his mood and is always trying his best to make him feel better is proven true.
they go to the rooftop. jinyoung takes a deep, shuddering breath when the early march cold wind hits his face. jaebum chuckles and pulls him closer by his nape, squeezing it with a smile.
“better?” he asks, maneuvering them to sit at the wooden bench.
jinyoung scoffs, scrunching his nose the way jaebum seems to be fond of, if his softened eyes are any indications as he picks out a pack of camel from the inner pocket of his coat.
“do you mind?” jaebum knows that jinyoung never minds whenever jaebum smokes anywhere near him, but he asks all the time. jinyoung finds that little fact admirable, although the smoking bit is not. jaebum is only twenty five years old, he should live forever, jinyoung thinks.
“go ahead, hyung,” jinyoung takes the cheap 7-11 lighter and cups a hand to block the wind. jaebum’s eyelashes aren’t that long, and his forehead is kinda wide upon thisclose, but jinyoung stares and stares some more until the visor of jaebum’s snapback is hitting the tip of his nose.
“shit, sorry.” jaebum grimaces and puts the cigarette in between his lips and jinyoung pretends to be irritated when jaebum leans forward to inspect his nose. “you okay?”
“‘m fine.” jinyoung shoves jaebum’s shoulders and then they burst out laughing; jaebum inhaling his daily dose of nicotine and jinyoung feeling warmer just looking at him.
“are you excited for your comeback? the title track is good.” jaebum says after a couple of heart beats. the orangey-reddish light from the tip of jaebum’s cigarette is more beautiful than the city lights, jinyoung thinks. he also loves the way jaebum holds his cigarette with his thumb and forefinger. very classic. and manly. well.
“just good?” jinyoung crosses his arms, swallowing a lump when jaebum sucks the cigarette deeply, cheeks hollowing, bones sharp and statuesque.
“like, winning music shows good, junior, don’t worry.” jaebum glances at him and jinyoung doesn’t care if either his giddy smile or his moony eyes are giving out his secret because he values jaebum’s opinion about GOT5. jaebum is not yet a choreographer, he’s a longtime b-boy belongs to a street crew. he also works at a dance company providing for backup dancers. it’s safe to say that he’s JYP-hyung favorite, most likely thanks to his versatility in dancing and, most surprisingly, polished singing voice. rumor has it jaebum was offered a place within 2PM but he had refused politely because he said idol life didn’t suit him. still, he’s quite famous among JYP stan out there; they recognize him on the street, they stop him to take photos, they send him birthday gifts with adorable encouraging messages, even the overseas fans are starting to want to know more about him since he’s been JYP entertainment boy groups and girl groups’ backup dancer for years and his instagram is filled with handsome selcas.
jinyoung though, he wasn’t really paying attention to jaebum the first time they met for GOT5’s debut stage preparation. he was too nervous and excited he got selected to become a member of JYP entertainment’s newest boy group after the success of 2PM. jaebum himself, in jinyoung’s opinion, wasn’t the type who would catch your eyes the second you saw him, unlike mark with his ethereal face and canine smile, for example. jaebum was not exactly quiet or talkative, jinyoung remembered, he was just there, listening to main choreographer-hyung. it took him a couple of practices to actually talk to jaebum, and it began with such an unflattering event because he crushed jaebum’s pack of camel on the asphalt as he stepped out to get some fresh air. jaebum who was in the middle of bending down to pick it up had frowned and jinyoung had apologized, and then jaebum just shrugged and threw the unopened pack to the trash can. he smiled at jinyoung, told him not to worry, and jinyoung stuttered that he would buy him a new one. jaebum laughed, you’re underage, he said, and when jinyoung blushed, he asked, somehow with a gentler tone, jinyoung, right? you okay?-and at jinyoung’s apparent confusion he shook his head and apologized, never mind, sorry, and jinyoung only understood what the heck was jaebum talking about hours later when he was on the verge of sleeping; he wasn’t feeling the peachiest that day, he was so, so, so tired he had wanted to cry that’s why he got out to get some fresh air.
of course jinyoung started to pay attention to jaebum after that.
“do you want to have cheese ramyun with me later?” jaebum nudges jinyoung’s shoulders with his when their ten minutes is up.
jinyoung bats his eyelashes. now that his suspicion is confirmed, his half-faked bad mood is gone. “only if it’s your treat, jaebum-hyung.”
jaebum snorts and pinches jinyoung’s chin with his cigarette smoke fingers. “you’re lucky you’re my favorite, park jinyoung.”
▼
from: jb-hyung ♥
did u liek it
to: jb-hyung ♥
of coursee ^^ your mixtapes are the best, jb-hyungie ~
from: jb-hyung ♥
im glad
hows the photoshoot
to: jb-hyung ♥
me too!
it’s tiring, but we’re wrapping it up. how’s your day, hyung?
from: jb-hyung ♥
went to see a movie
its great youd like it
‘the imitation game’
to: jb-hyung ♥
oh i know that one! that sherlock guy and keira knightley, right?
awww i was just going to ask you to see it with me T__T
from: jb-hyung ♥
yeah
lets see it toegther then i dun mind watching it again
when r u free., ?
to: jb-hyung ♥
really??
we’r free tomorrow! let’s have dinner after that, hyung!
from: jb-hyung ♥
k
go back to work
to: jb-hyung ♥
yayy :)
okay, hyung, bye bye!
▼
jinyoung likes girls. girls are soft and they have fruity smell and gorgeous hair. the problem is, he’s just never been in love with one.
when he was ten, he had his first girlfriend. he kissed the prettiest girl in school when he was thirteen, and he was hailed as the prom king because of that. his second girlfriend was a rather tomboy girl from an all girls high school and they lasted for five months after they lost their virginities to each other when they both were seventeen. he gave them flowers and cupcakes, and that one time after scraping his saving, cute couple shoes and t-shirts, but he never loved any of them.
he had loved his classmate, a boy, when he was fifteen and now he’s in love with im jaebum, who isn’t a member of GOT5, which means he just told the whole world that i would date jaebum-hyung if i were a girl.
“oh? ‘jaebum-hyung’? who’s that, junior-sshi?” the MC is a girl group sunbaenim with pretty eyesmile. teasing the crowd of m! countdown she asks some more, “is he a new member of GOT5 we’re not aware of?”
the screaming from the crowd is buying jinyoung time to make up a logical explanation.
“no no no,” he gives the whole studio his trademarked jr.’s crow’s feet smile, “he’s one of our backup dancers hyung. he’s very nice. i picked him out of habit, i guess. sorry, jackson.”
jackson, the rising star of variety show, narrows his eyes at jinyoung and protests, “how dare you! i picked you! we’re happily married...”
“yeah, jr.-hyung! i thought we can only pick our members,” yugyeom, their giant maknae who picked jackson, butts in. “i change my choice, minah-sshi! if i were a girl, i want to date jaebum-hyung, too.” ah, right. yugyeom is also promoting his migratory bird image nowadays. the kid has such strong variety sense to make a simple question and answer time interesting.
“yah!” jackson stands up with a disbelieving look on his face. the crowd and the MC laugh, and jinyoung continues,
“it’s not my fault none of you treat me right.” he pouts to the crowd, milking their instantaneous cooing like air. it’s an unfair answer, sure, because jinyoung only needs jaebum to treat him right, but he’s just delivering what people want to hear, so.
“sorry, umma~” bambam is on him in an instant, nuzzling his neck and hugging him. yugyeom is the heaviest but his hug is always welcomed, and mark is clinging to his legs. jinyoung makes an eye contact with jackson, his so-called husband, and jackson makes kissy lips and the crowd goes wild while bambam goes ewww when jinyoung tilts his head for a kiss. jackson reciprocates, but then he chickens out first, looks away first with a silly face, claiming that he will be chivalrous from now on for jinyoung, his wife.
▼
GOT5 wins an all-kill on their second week promoting ‘magnetic girl’, another win on music band the following week, and JYP-hyung throws them a party after they’re done with this comeback. he announces that he’s giving them three months vacation, but if any of them are getting called to audition for drama, variety show, talk show, radio show, MC-ing, etc etc, they have to take it. GOT5 might be popular enough, but they need to get on national television as often as they can.
the party is held at a japanese restaurant where JYP-hyung reserves a VIP room with a karaoke machine and everyone is having a good time. especially jinyoung, because jaebum (along with the rest of backup dancer hyungs) is here with him, sipping on sake and eating sushi and is pressed up thigh to thigh with him on the tatami. he misses jaebum a lot. GOT5 was recording an MTV variety show during ‘magnetic girl’ promotion, and with other promotion activities jinyoung barely had the time to have his phone. ‘magnetic girl’ only used backup dancers on fridays, so really, it had felt like a thousand years ago the last time jinyoung could sit next to jaebum like this.
even though jaebum seems quieter than ever tonight.
“are you alright, jaebum-hyung?” jinyoung asks with a low voice, not wanting to disturb the quiet mood jaebum is having. jaebum doesn’t look like the type who appreciates coddling, not from anyone, let alone from a boy six years younger than him.
“hm? oh, yeah. this is the best japanese restaurant ever.” jaebum smiles but it’s just in passing. jinyoung doesn’t like it.
“aren’t you going to sing something?” jinyoung picks a neutral topic to open their conversation. “you like red velvet’s new single, right? that ice cream cake song.”
“hmm, yeah, well. they’re not bad. seulgi is really pretty in the flesh. saw her last week.” jinyoung is more bothered by how jaebum only answers him in passing rather than the fact that jaebum just said that seulgi from red velvet is really pretty.
“i like irene,” jinyoung chimes in half-heartedly, and jaebum doesn’t comment on that.
it’s amazing how fast jinyoung goes from excited to miserable in a matter of minutes. he wants to cry.
“i’ve been thinking,” jaebum clears his throat, like he’s preparing himself for what’s next. jinyoung decides to do the same. he sits up straighter and fists his hands and-
“do you want to be mine, jinyoung-ah?”
-and he’s glad he did. because that came out of nowhere.
“hyung, what are you talking about?” jinyoung bites his bottom lip, glancing around the room for potential random listeners. they’re sitting in a corner, and everyone is busy with their foods and conversations and dancing to crayon pop’s ‘bar bar bar’.
“no. no, don’t do that, jinyoung-ah. tell me. do you want to be mine?” jaebum shakes his head. he looks sad when he says, “because i read an article on naver about you wanting to date ‘jaebum-hyung’ if you were a girl. some fans mentioned me on twitter about it too, giving me links to the video on youtube.”
jinyoung is not stupid. he got over his first love when he was fifteen because they went to different high schools and he hadn’t wanted to do anything with him but to write a book about his crooked, cheeky smile. maybe a kiss or two, and that’s it. but he’s nineteen now, he wants everything from jaebum; he wants to kiss jaebum’s cigarette smoke lips, wants jaebum to fuck him nice and slow then hard and fast, and he wants to choke on jaebum’s cock, letting him come on his face and in his ass. jinyoung was getting it all, one thing at a time, like jaebum’s attention and private smile and his hand on his nape and jaebum making him mixtapes and paying for their meals and movie tickets and jaebum greeting him good morning and good night, sleep tight, via line and its appropriate stickers.
he was getting it all, but he’s about to lose them all right now.
it’s ridiculous. did jinyoung read jaebum wrong? maybe it would be easier if jaebum wasn’t giving him those hopeful, yellow-green light signals after all this time only to be back to red because of, what, jinyoung accidentally revealing an insignificant part of his whole, vast feeling on a music show?
why can’t he be in love with jaebum a while longer (maybe forever)?
but who is jinyoung kidding?
“i know i can’t.” jinyoung is blinking back tears. it’s unfortunate that they’re too stubborn. if jaebum notices that jinyoung is wiping the corners of his eyes with the hem of his sponsored t-shirt, he quietly, stupidly, keeps it to himself. jinyoung needs jaebum to treat him right, he needs jaebum to apologize for confronting him about his feeling in the middle of a company party, not not acknowledging him like they weren’t practically acting like they’re more than just friends up until last week.
“you know that’s right.” jaebum nods, sounding so distant from where they’re pressed together thigh to thigh in a japanese restaurant’s VIP room. “let’s stop whatever this is.”
jinyoung needs a moment before he can answer a barely audible yes, hyung and even then he’s not sure if jaebum is still listening to him.
2
it’s jaebum’s choice to live alone. no unnecessary hassle of splitting the bills and the rent or arguing whose turn it is to clean the bathroom. he’s made enough to get his own shitty place at some rooftop that is the exact copy of every single korean drama rooftop ‘studio apartment’ with its green, outdoor ground and lots of communal clothing lines for other tenants to use (they never do, thankfully). don’t forget the spacious wooden bench for hanging out with friends, and you get the whole picture.
except for today.
because there’s a little kid sitting cross-legged on it, wearing thin clothing for such chilly early april weather, when jaebum gets home from buying milk and cereal.
the little kid looks up from something he’s holding on his little hands and he’s got squishy cheeks. his eyes are fox-like, slanted, and his button nose is cute. they’re having a staring match, jaebum realizes, as the little kid tilts his head to the side with the usual innocent, curious look on his face. he’s got cute, pouty lips. he’s scrunching his nose. he’s smiling like he can’t believe what he sees (is it jaebum’s questionable flip flops and socks?). he’s greeting jaebum in english,
“hello! good afternoon, my name is youngjae. i’m your son.”
hm, wow, his english has no accen-
wait. what?
jaebum’s english is so so. he’s on a level where he can help a lost tourist, sure, and he understands that the little kid just said that he’s jaebum’s son, but he doesn’t understand whether this little kid walking barefoot to him with a nostalgic, longing smile is trying to fuck with him or what. is this a fucking prank? for what occasion? his birthday was in january. april mop was a couple of days ago. heh. that’s it. it’s a late april mop prank from his b-boying crew. yeah, there’s no other logical explanation for this. poor kid, jaebum thinks as he looks down at the little creature only coming up to his waist, at least his crew should’ve dressed him properly, for god’s sake!
“dad? i’m hungry.”
jaebum snorts. the kid’s a good actor, huh? seriously, his english and the way he’s not even afraid of stranger by the name of im jaebum are flawless. even the way he calls jaebum ‘dad’ sound so effortless on his tongue, so natural.
“yeah yeah,” jaebum pinches the little ki-what’s his name again? youngjae?-he pinches youngjae’s chin gently before unlocking the front door. he ushers youngjae in, determined to play along with his crew’s prank just to spite them. besides, he doesn’t mind a company on this beautiful sunny day, albeit one he would’ve never expected to meet at all.
“are you cold?” he asks youngjae once the kid is settling down on jaebum’s dining slash multi function table. he doesn’t get an answer right away, and after he puts the cereal in the mini fridge, he remembers that he was speaking in korean.
“you really don’t understand korean, huh?” jaebum smiles as he pours a glass of milk for youngjae. “what did noyoung-hyung pay you with? don’t worry, i’m going to fucking kill him.” he mutters the last part and sits next to youngjae who ignores his korean babbling. there’s a photograph on his table. youngjae’s, probably.
“sorry, youngjae-yah. are you cold?” jaebum asks again, pushing the glass closer to the photograph. there are three people in it. the setting looks familiar, though? that ugly, red painted door looks like his ugly front door. the man holding the little kid on his arms looks like... um. jinyoung? that haircut and that dimpled smil-hey, is that his favorite acne studio checkered shirt jinyoung is wearing in the photo?
jaebum squints.
fuck. it is his favorite acne studio checkered shirt jinyoung is wearing in the photo.
that’s him grinning in the photo with an arm around jinyoung’s waist and the little kid on jinyoung’s arms is youngjae, his button nose is scrunched up to the camera cutely.
fuck.
fuck.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
“dad, please don’t curse. mom doesn’t like it when you curse.”
jaebum gapes, and then he closes his mouth. what the hell? how come youngjae can understand him cursing out loud in korean? he stares at youngjae who is drinking the milk calmly in horror, his heartbeats deafening him. jaebum’s brain is whirring, putting two and two together; the photograph, the way youngjae calls him ‘dad’, youngjae commenting nonchalantly about his cursing habit while he doesn’t even understand simple korean is surely the product of everyday occurrence because what did he say? ‘mom’ doesn’t like it when jaebum (dad) curse?!
“you-!”
“may i have the cereal? mom says cereal is only for breakfast, and he will be angry if he knows. but i’m really hungry, dad.”
“mom?!”
youngjae nods. he’s judging jaebum’s outburst, jaebum knows. he’s seen someone making that kind of incredulous face somewher-
fuuuuuuuuuuck.
jaebum snatches the photograph and points at jinyoung and asks, “mom?” and youngjae nods again. jaebum points at himself and yells, “DAD?!” and youngjae pouts, clearly upset he’s getting yelled, but he nods anyway, scooting further away from jaebum tensed body language.
jaebum’s abrupt scream is making youngjae flinch, but he doesn’t have the time to feel bad as he runs to the front door, forgetting his flip flops and kicking a plastic bucket while screaming and cursing at noyoung-hyung to come out and fight me you son of a bitch! you win, okay? stop with the fucking joke, hyung, I’M NOT FUCKING LAUGHING!!!
the cold wind blows. the afternoon sun shines. it’s saturday, and jaebum’s rage is coming in a wave of hot white flash. before he can stop himself he’s already breaking a window. his left knuckles are bleeding, and the pain comes just a little too late as jaebum sends his blurred eyes to the blueblueblue sky.
taking a continuous deep breath, jaebum wills the rush of blood to the head to slow down together with his heart beats. when his whole body is back to its normal setting, he rolls his shoulders, stands taller, and takes out his phone from the pocket of his jeans to dial jinyoung’s deleted number that he knows by heart.
▼
part one | two
Recipient: littlemelonblue
Rating: PG-13 to 15
Word Count: 10,629
Warning(s): none
Summary: future!AU - kid!fic, in which jinyoung is a member of famous boy group and jaebum is the backup dancer. (youngjae? youngjae is their son, coming from the future.)
A/N: it’ll be awesome if you all can share my happiness for writing this in the comments \o/ dear littlemelonblue, trust me i was born to write this prompt LOL. hope you will liek eet.
part one | two
the last time jinyoung had felt like this, like there’s a harmless but untamed little monster inside of him that wouldn’t go away no matter how often he tried to tell it to please calm down, please, he will never look at me like i look at him, he was only fifteen-obsessed with the thought of being korean haruki murakami, writing poetic rambling about that one boy in his class who radiated like the sun, always blinding him with his crooked, cheeky smile and giving jinyoung a pleasant shiver whenever he ran his longlonglong fingers through his messy, sweaty hair at gym class and whispering jinyoung’s name with his cracked voice while they were all struggling with english quiz because he’s still confused about the proper use of your versus you’re.
jinyoung is nineteen now, far from writing anything but signing cd’s for nice girls and mature women who adore his face, his voice, his personality, and his group of four other boys singing about love, life, and everything in between. becoming an idol was never in jinyoung’s dream, he was just coming home from an english course when a forty-something man offered him a card with ‘JYP entertainment’ written in bold letters as he waited for the bus. the nicely dressed man said he came to busan to visit a relative, but you’re a very attractive young man, just in case you might be interested to build a career as an idol. and then he asked if jinyoung ever heard of ‘park jinyoung’ and jinyoung has always been a charming kid, so he answered, yes, of course i’ve heard of ‘park jinyoung’, that’s my name, sir. when the man laughed out loud at that, jinyoung thought he had a nice laugh. the man explained that the entertainment agency’s president name is park jinyoung, a.k.a JYP, see, that singer from the 90’s, your mom is probably a fan, so please come take a look around our headquarter at gangnam anytime you want, i’ll be expecting you!
(his mom, as it turned out, was a fan of seo taiji, but she gave her permission for him to come to gangnam to check out what’s the fuss about this ‘idol business’ and jinyoung went there with his two older sisters that weekend, and they both screamed when they caught a glimpse of wooyoung and chansung from boy group 2PM.)
so jinyoung is nineteen, he’s an idol in a boy group called GOT5, and after two agonizing years of training in singing, dancing, acting, MC-ing, developing his personal talents, and winning rookie of the year award, the harmless but untamed little monster inside of him has awoken again.
1
“are you alright?”
jinyoung keeps the sour face he’s been half-faking ever since they had lunch break today. GOT5 is going to have a comeback that is expected to be fantastic ever since they won rookie of the year award, and everyone is giving their a hundred percent, including jinyoung who can’t really master the swivel of hips he’s supposed to do during the chorus.
(which isn’t difficult to master at all, if jinyoung is being honest. he might be half-assing the dance in order to prove a very important suspicion.)
“what, hyung?” he mumbles his answer as he fiddles with the loose shoelace of his left converse. his half-faked bad mood is shooing everyone away; bambam is sprawled on top of yugyeom on the other side of the practice room, mark gave him a bottle of vitamin water before keeping his distance, and jackson, their leader, doesn’t dare to approach him when he’s in one of his infamous jr.’s blues that is acknowledged even among the fans.
jr., or junior, is jinyoung’s stage name, due to having the same name as the president of JYP entertainment, and he’s in charge of vocal, some rap, balancing the carefree and playful image of the group with his gentleness and dandyish appearance, and he’s the ‘observant umma’ to jackson’s ‘crazy appa’. him being sensitive and moody has got nothing to do with his role as the umma of the group because he’s always been sensitive and moody, like now, even though this one time he’s kind of faking it.
“nothing.” jaebum shakes his head. he takes off his snapback and his black hair is all damp and dull but jinyoung still wants to touch it anyway, like he always wanted (but never did) to touch his classmate’s sweaty, gym class hair.
jaebum squats in front of him, scrutinizing but not judging him despite jinyoung’s refusal to talk to anyone after lunch break eight hours ago. the older man opens his mouth, frowns, and sighs as he reaches out to tie jinyoung’s shoelace. his fingers aren’t that long, but the green veins coursing through the back of his hands and the bones of his wrists are giving jinyoung a pleasant shiver anyway.
“do you want to get fresh air? where’s your jacket?” jaebum asks as he circles his hands around jinyoung’s left ankle.
“why?” jinyoung pretends to be dumbfounded when jaebum gets to his feet. his suspicion is nearly proven to be true, or, at least he sure hopes so.
“because we’re going to get fresh air.” jaebum puts on his snapback again before he offers his open palms and jinyoung grits his teeth to prevent himself from smiling like a fool in love. their hands fit like a pair of gloves. he lets jaebum pull him up and he, deliberately, avoids everyone’s eyes when jaebum asks jackson to give them ten minutes outside.
jackson allows the ten minutes, because even though he’s younger than jaebum, he’s GOT5’s leader and he’s responsible for the members. he brings jinyoung his jacket, and jinyoung feels bad for acting moody for his own selfish reason, but he swears he’s not going to make it a habit once his suspicion that jaebum can sense the slightest change of his mood and is always trying his best to make him feel better is proven true.
they go to the rooftop. jinyoung takes a deep, shuddering breath when the early march cold wind hits his face. jaebum chuckles and pulls him closer by his nape, squeezing it with a smile.
“better?” he asks, maneuvering them to sit at the wooden bench.
jinyoung scoffs, scrunching his nose the way jaebum seems to be fond of, if his softened eyes are any indications as he picks out a pack of camel from the inner pocket of his coat.
“do you mind?” jaebum knows that jinyoung never minds whenever jaebum smokes anywhere near him, but he asks all the time. jinyoung finds that little fact admirable, although the smoking bit is not. jaebum is only twenty five years old, he should live forever, jinyoung thinks.
“go ahead, hyung,” jinyoung takes the cheap 7-11 lighter and cups a hand to block the wind. jaebum’s eyelashes aren’t that long, and his forehead is kinda wide upon thisclose, but jinyoung stares and stares some more until the visor of jaebum’s snapback is hitting the tip of his nose.
“shit, sorry.” jaebum grimaces and puts the cigarette in between his lips and jinyoung pretends to be irritated when jaebum leans forward to inspect his nose. “you okay?”
“‘m fine.” jinyoung shoves jaebum’s shoulders and then they burst out laughing; jaebum inhaling his daily dose of nicotine and jinyoung feeling warmer just looking at him.
“are you excited for your comeback? the title track is good.” jaebum says after a couple of heart beats. the orangey-reddish light from the tip of jaebum’s cigarette is more beautiful than the city lights, jinyoung thinks. he also loves the way jaebum holds his cigarette with his thumb and forefinger. very classic. and manly. well.
“just good?” jinyoung crosses his arms, swallowing a lump when jaebum sucks the cigarette deeply, cheeks hollowing, bones sharp and statuesque.
“like, winning music shows good, junior, don’t worry.” jaebum glances at him and jinyoung doesn’t care if either his giddy smile or his moony eyes are giving out his secret because he values jaebum’s opinion about GOT5. jaebum is not yet a choreographer, he’s a longtime b-boy belongs to a street crew. he also works at a dance company providing for backup dancers. it’s safe to say that he’s JYP-hyung favorite, most likely thanks to his versatility in dancing and, most surprisingly, polished singing voice. rumor has it jaebum was offered a place within 2PM but he had refused politely because he said idol life didn’t suit him. still, he’s quite famous among JYP stan out there; they recognize him on the street, they stop him to take photos, they send him birthday gifts with adorable encouraging messages, even the overseas fans are starting to want to know more about him since he’s been JYP entertainment boy groups and girl groups’ backup dancer for years and his instagram is filled with handsome selcas.
jinyoung though, he wasn’t really paying attention to jaebum the first time they met for GOT5’s debut stage preparation. he was too nervous and excited he got selected to become a member of JYP entertainment’s newest boy group after the success of 2PM. jaebum himself, in jinyoung’s opinion, wasn’t the type who would catch your eyes the second you saw him, unlike mark with his ethereal face and canine smile, for example. jaebum was not exactly quiet or talkative, jinyoung remembered, he was just there, listening to main choreographer-hyung. it took him a couple of practices to actually talk to jaebum, and it began with such an unflattering event because he crushed jaebum’s pack of camel on the asphalt as he stepped out to get some fresh air. jaebum who was in the middle of bending down to pick it up had frowned and jinyoung had apologized, and then jaebum just shrugged and threw the unopened pack to the trash can. he smiled at jinyoung, told him not to worry, and jinyoung stuttered that he would buy him a new one. jaebum laughed, you’re underage, he said, and when jinyoung blushed, he asked, somehow with a gentler tone, jinyoung, right? you okay?-and at jinyoung’s apparent confusion he shook his head and apologized, never mind, sorry, and jinyoung only understood what the heck was jaebum talking about hours later when he was on the verge of sleeping; he wasn’t feeling the peachiest that day, he was so, so, so tired he had wanted to cry that’s why he got out to get some fresh air.
of course jinyoung started to pay attention to jaebum after that.
“do you want to have cheese ramyun with me later?” jaebum nudges jinyoung’s shoulders with his when their ten minutes is up.
jinyoung bats his eyelashes. now that his suspicion is confirmed, his half-faked bad mood is gone. “only if it’s your treat, jaebum-hyung.”
jaebum snorts and pinches jinyoung’s chin with his cigarette smoke fingers. “you’re lucky you’re my favorite, park jinyoung.”
▼
from: jb-hyung ♥
did u liek it
to: jb-hyung ♥
of coursee ^^ your mixtapes are the best, jb-hyungie ~
from: jb-hyung ♥
im glad
hows the photoshoot
to: jb-hyung ♥
me too!
it’s tiring, but we’re wrapping it up. how’s your day, hyung?
from: jb-hyung ♥
went to see a movie
its great youd like it
‘the imitation game’
to: jb-hyung ♥
oh i know that one! that sherlock guy and keira knightley, right?
awww i was just going to ask you to see it with me T__T
from: jb-hyung ♥
yeah
lets see it toegther then i dun mind watching it again
when r u free., ?
to: jb-hyung ♥
really??
we’r free tomorrow! let’s have dinner after that, hyung!
from: jb-hyung ♥
k
go back to work
to: jb-hyung ♥
yayy :)
okay, hyung, bye bye!
▼
jinyoung likes girls. girls are soft and they have fruity smell and gorgeous hair. the problem is, he’s just never been in love with one.
when he was ten, he had his first girlfriend. he kissed the prettiest girl in school when he was thirteen, and he was hailed as the prom king because of that. his second girlfriend was a rather tomboy girl from an all girls high school and they lasted for five months after they lost their virginities to each other when they both were seventeen. he gave them flowers and cupcakes, and that one time after scraping his saving, cute couple shoes and t-shirts, but he never loved any of them.
he had loved his classmate, a boy, when he was fifteen and now he’s in love with im jaebum, who isn’t a member of GOT5, which means he just told the whole world that i would date jaebum-hyung if i were a girl.
“oh? ‘jaebum-hyung’? who’s that, junior-sshi?” the MC is a girl group sunbaenim with pretty eyesmile. teasing the crowd of m! countdown she asks some more, “is he a new member of GOT5 we’re not aware of?”
the screaming from the crowd is buying jinyoung time to make up a logical explanation.
“no no no,” he gives the whole studio his trademarked jr.’s crow’s feet smile, “he’s one of our backup dancers hyung. he’s very nice. i picked him out of habit, i guess. sorry, jackson.”
jackson, the rising star of variety show, narrows his eyes at jinyoung and protests, “how dare you! i picked you! we’re happily married...”
“yeah, jr.-hyung! i thought we can only pick our members,” yugyeom, their giant maknae who picked jackson, butts in. “i change my choice, minah-sshi! if i were a girl, i want to date jaebum-hyung, too.” ah, right. yugyeom is also promoting his migratory bird image nowadays. the kid has such strong variety sense to make a simple question and answer time interesting.
“yah!” jackson stands up with a disbelieving look on his face. the crowd and the MC laugh, and jinyoung continues,
“it’s not my fault none of you treat me right.” he pouts to the crowd, milking their instantaneous cooing like air. it’s an unfair answer, sure, because jinyoung only needs jaebum to treat him right, but he’s just delivering what people want to hear, so.
“sorry, umma~” bambam is on him in an instant, nuzzling his neck and hugging him. yugyeom is the heaviest but his hug is always welcomed, and mark is clinging to his legs. jinyoung makes an eye contact with jackson, his so-called husband, and jackson makes kissy lips and the crowd goes wild while bambam goes ewww when jinyoung tilts his head for a kiss. jackson reciprocates, but then he chickens out first, looks away first with a silly face, claiming that he will be chivalrous from now on for jinyoung, his wife.
▼
GOT5 wins an all-kill on their second week promoting ‘magnetic girl’, another win on music band the following week, and JYP-hyung throws them a party after they’re done with this comeback. he announces that he’s giving them three months vacation, but if any of them are getting called to audition for drama, variety show, talk show, radio show, MC-ing, etc etc, they have to take it. GOT5 might be popular enough, but they need to get on national television as often as they can.
the party is held at a japanese restaurant where JYP-hyung reserves a VIP room with a karaoke machine and everyone is having a good time. especially jinyoung, because jaebum (along with the rest of backup dancer hyungs) is here with him, sipping on sake and eating sushi and is pressed up thigh to thigh with him on the tatami. he misses jaebum a lot. GOT5 was recording an MTV variety show during ‘magnetic girl’ promotion, and with other promotion activities jinyoung barely had the time to have his phone. ‘magnetic girl’ only used backup dancers on fridays, so really, it had felt like a thousand years ago the last time jinyoung could sit next to jaebum like this.
even though jaebum seems quieter than ever tonight.
“are you alright, jaebum-hyung?” jinyoung asks with a low voice, not wanting to disturb the quiet mood jaebum is having. jaebum doesn’t look like the type who appreciates coddling, not from anyone, let alone from a boy six years younger than him.
“hm? oh, yeah. this is the best japanese restaurant ever.” jaebum smiles but it’s just in passing. jinyoung doesn’t like it.
“aren’t you going to sing something?” jinyoung picks a neutral topic to open their conversation. “you like red velvet’s new single, right? that ice cream cake song.”
“hmm, yeah, well. they’re not bad. seulgi is really pretty in the flesh. saw her last week.” jinyoung is more bothered by how jaebum only answers him in passing rather than the fact that jaebum just said that seulgi from red velvet is really pretty.
“i like irene,” jinyoung chimes in half-heartedly, and jaebum doesn’t comment on that.
it’s amazing how fast jinyoung goes from excited to miserable in a matter of minutes. he wants to cry.
“i’ve been thinking,” jaebum clears his throat, like he’s preparing himself for what’s next. jinyoung decides to do the same. he sits up straighter and fists his hands and-
“do you want to be mine, jinyoung-ah?”
-and he’s glad he did. because that came out of nowhere.
“hyung, what are you talking about?” jinyoung bites his bottom lip, glancing around the room for potential random listeners. they’re sitting in a corner, and everyone is busy with their foods and conversations and dancing to crayon pop’s ‘bar bar bar’.
“no. no, don’t do that, jinyoung-ah. tell me. do you want to be mine?” jaebum shakes his head. he looks sad when he says, “because i read an article on naver about you wanting to date ‘jaebum-hyung’ if you were a girl. some fans mentioned me on twitter about it too, giving me links to the video on youtube.”
jinyoung is not stupid. he got over his first love when he was fifteen because they went to different high schools and he hadn’t wanted to do anything with him but to write a book about his crooked, cheeky smile. maybe a kiss or two, and that’s it. but he’s nineteen now, he wants everything from jaebum; he wants to kiss jaebum’s cigarette smoke lips, wants jaebum to fuck him nice and slow then hard and fast, and he wants to choke on jaebum’s cock, letting him come on his face and in his ass. jinyoung was getting it all, one thing at a time, like jaebum’s attention and private smile and his hand on his nape and jaebum making him mixtapes and paying for their meals and movie tickets and jaebum greeting him good morning and good night, sleep tight, via line and its appropriate stickers.
he was getting it all, but he’s about to lose them all right now.
it’s ridiculous. did jinyoung read jaebum wrong? maybe it would be easier if jaebum wasn’t giving him those hopeful, yellow-green light signals after all this time only to be back to red because of, what, jinyoung accidentally revealing an insignificant part of his whole, vast feeling on a music show?
why can’t he be in love with jaebum a while longer (maybe forever)?
but who is jinyoung kidding?
“i know i can’t.” jinyoung is blinking back tears. it’s unfortunate that they’re too stubborn. if jaebum notices that jinyoung is wiping the corners of his eyes with the hem of his sponsored t-shirt, he quietly, stupidly, keeps it to himself. jinyoung needs jaebum to treat him right, he needs jaebum to apologize for confronting him about his feeling in the middle of a company party, not not acknowledging him like they weren’t practically acting like they’re more than just friends up until last week.
“you know that’s right.” jaebum nods, sounding so distant from where they’re pressed together thigh to thigh in a japanese restaurant’s VIP room. “let’s stop whatever this is.”
jinyoung needs a moment before he can answer a barely audible yes, hyung and even then he’s not sure if jaebum is still listening to him.
2
it’s jaebum’s choice to live alone. no unnecessary hassle of splitting the bills and the rent or arguing whose turn it is to clean the bathroom. he’s made enough to get his own shitty place at some rooftop that is the exact copy of every single korean drama rooftop ‘studio apartment’ with its green, outdoor ground and lots of communal clothing lines for other tenants to use (they never do, thankfully). don’t forget the spacious wooden bench for hanging out with friends, and you get the whole picture.
except for today.
because there’s a little kid sitting cross-legged on it, wearing thin clothing for such chilly early april weather, when jaebum gets home from buying milk and cereal.
the little kid looks up from something he’s holding on his little hands and he’s got squishy cheeks. his eyes are fox-like, slanted, and his button nose is cute. they’re having a staring match, jaebum realizes, as the little kid tilts his head to the side with the usual innocent, curious look on his face. he’s got cute, pouty lips. he’s scrunching his nose. he’s smiling like he can’t believe what he sees (is it jaebum’s questionable flip flops and socks?). he’s greeting jaebum in english,
“hello! good afternoon, my name is youngjae. i’m your son.”
hm, wow, his english has no accen-
wait. what?
jaebum’s english is so so. he’s on a level where he can help a lost tourist, sure, and he understands that the little kid just said that he’s jaebum’s son, but he doesn’t understand whether this little kid walking barefoot to him with a nostalgic, longing smile is trying to fuck with him or what. is this a fucking prank? for what occasion? his birthday was in january. april mop was a couple of days ago. heh. that’s it. it’s a late april mop prank from his b-boying crew. yeah, there’s no other logical explanation for this. poor kid, jaebum thinks as he looks down at the little creature only coming up to his waist, at least his crew should’ve dressed him properly, for god’s sake!
“dad? i’m hungry.”
jaebum snorts. the kid’s a good actor, huh? seriously, his english and the way he’s not even afraid of stranger by the name of im jaebum are flawless. even the way he calls jaebum ‘dad’ sound so effortless on his tongue, so natural.
“yeah yeah,” jaebum pinches the little ki-what’s his name again? youngjae?-he pinches youngjae’s chin gently before unlocking the front door. he ushers youngjae in, determined to play along with his crew’s prank just to spite them. besides, he doesn’t mind a company on this beautiful sunny day, albeit one he would’ve never expected to meet at all.
“are you cold?” he asks youngjae once the kid is settling down on jaebum’s dining slash multi function table. he doesn’t get an answer right away, and after he puts the cereal in the mini fridge, he remembers that he was speaking in korean.
“you really don’t understand korean, huh?” jaebum smiles as he pours a glass of milk for youngjae. “what did noyoung-hyung pay you with? don’t worry, i’m going to fucking kill him.” he mutters the last part and sits next to youngjae who ignores his korean babbling. there’s a photograph on his table. youngjae’s, probably.
“sorry, youngjae-yah. are you cold?” jaebum asks again, pushing the glass closer to the photograph. there are three people in it. the setting looks familiar, though? that ugly, red painted door looks like his ugly front door. the man holding the little kid on his arms looks like... um. jinyoung? that haircut and that dimpled smil-hey, is that his favorite acne studio checkered shirt jinyoung is wearing in the photo?
jaebum squints.
fuck. it is his favorite acne studio checkered shirt jinyoung is wearing in the photo.
that’s him grinning in the photo with an arm around jinyoung’s waist and the little kid on jinyoung’s arms is youngjae, his button nose is scrunched up to the camera cutely.
fuck.
fuck.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
“dad, please don’t curse. mom doesn’t like it when you curse.”
jaebum gapes, and then he closes his mouth. what the hell? how come youngjae can understand him cursing out loud in korean? he stares at youngjae who is drinking the milk calmly in horror, his heartbeats deafening him. jaebum’s brain is whirring, putting two and two together; the photograph, the way youngjae calls him ‘dad’, youngjae commenting nonchalantly about his cursing habit while he doesn’t even understand simple korean is surely the product of everyday occurrence because what did he say? ‘mom’ doesn’t like it when jaebum (dad) curse?!
“you-!”
“may i have the cereal? mom says cereal is only for breakfast, and he will be angry if he knows. but i’m really hungry, dad.”
“mom?!”
youngjae nods. he’s judging jaebum’s outburst, jaebum knows. he’s seen someone making that kind of incredulous face somewher-
fuuuuuuuuuuck.
jaebum snatches the photograph and points at jinyoung and asks, “mom?” and youngjae nods again. jaebum points at himself and yells, “DAD?!” and youngjae pouts, clearly upset he’s getting yelled, but he nods anyway, scooting further away from jaebum tensed body language.
jaebum’s abrupt scream is making youngjae flinch, but he doesn’t have the time to feel bad as he runs to the front door, forgetting his flip flops and kicking a plastic bucket while screaming and cursing at noyoung-hyung to come out and fight me you son of a bitch! you win, okay? stop with the fucking joke, hyung, I’M NOT FUCKING LAUGHING!!!
the cold wind blows. the afternoon sun shines. it’s saturday, and jaebum’s rage is coming in a wave of hot white flash. before he can stop himself he’s already breaking a window. his left knuckles are bleeding, and the pain comes just a little too late as jaebum sends his blurred eyes to the blueblueblue sky.
taking a continuous deep breath, jaebum wills the rush of blood to the head to slow down together with his heart beats. when his whole body is back to its normal setting, he rolls his shoulders, stands taller, and takes out his phone from the pocket of his jeans to dial jinyoung’s deleted number that he knows by heart.
▼
part one | two