The Drop of Water (R)

[deelaundry]

Posted to housefic and house_wilson

Title: The Drop of Water
Author: Dee Laundry
Pairing: House-Wilson friendship
Rating: Hard R for theme
Summary: Wilson finds sometimes there's no more room to bend.
Note: No spoilers for S3, but takes place shortly after episode 3-14. Many, many thanks to daisylily and nightdog_barks for beta.

WARNING: Harrowing theme and content; sensitive subject. NOT

Comments

[jadesfire]

Guh.

No amount of expectation can prepare the reader for the ending. You can see it coming, and you just can't stop. Gripping, fearless writing, convincing and captivating. I'd applaud, but I'm not sure I can move just yet... Brilliant, brilliant stuff.

Guh.

teeny tiny typo: "Letters in the desk drawer" - should be Letter's

[nightdog_barks]

teeny tiny typo: "Letters in the desk drawer" - should be Letter's

*unsure when it comes to beta netiquette but steps in just to clarify*

Not really a typo. There's more than one letter in the drawer. Strictly speaking, Wilson probably should've said "Letters are in the desk drawer", but he was ... um ... more focused on something else.

*smiles and steps back out*

[deelaundry]

Thanks. I wrote this in one sitting; I just felt compelled.

As Nightdog mentioned, there were multiple letters: one for House, one for his parents, etc. It was brought up in beta, and I thought about changing the line to "There are letters in the desk drawer," but I couldn't. Wilson at that point was eager to move on; he said the minimum needed.

[jadesfire]

Apologies - read too quickly. Remind me to sit back and just enjoy in future ;)

*shuffles off, red-faced, to go play in the snow again*

[empressaurelius]

Ooh, God, I don't even know what to say to this, except that....I can see this happening, because it does seem like House and Wilson are drifting on the show, and I don't like it. Poor Jimmy. *Sobs*

[dangomango]

Did you feel the awkwardness at the end when Wilson approached him? They don't know how to be around each other anymore. House still pretends bad stuff hasn't happened, but Wilson can't forget anymore.

[empressaurelius]

Yeah, it does kinda feel like that. I can't help but to remember Bobby saying that House and Wilson were gonna be different after Tritter, and sure enough, they are. And it's looking like it's NOT for the better.

[deelaundry]

Thanks. Poor Jimmy, indeed.

[toolazytowork]

As soon as I read the warning my mind jumped to conclusions. These conclusions were correct.
Enjoyment is the wrong emotion to feel after reading this, I suppose. It's very well written and realistic. You didn't lean on cliches and kept the events within the realm of possibility. With this subject matter, that's almost unheard of. (I don't know if I could see Wilson shooting himself. I'd imagine he'd choose something less messy. That's just me, though.)

The ending didn't make me sad. I know it should have, but it didn't. Wilson got out of hell. If House really cared, he would've done something a lot sooner. Sometimes, certain things can't be fixed.

[dangomango]

The ending didn't make me sad. I know it should have, but it didn't. Wilson got out of hell. If House really cared, he would've done something a lot sooner. Sometimes, certain things can't be fixed.
I agree with this, but the ending still broke me.

[deelaundry]

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[deelaundry]

Thanks so much for the comment. I wish the end had made you sad, because really, how terrible to get to that point at all.

The reason Wilson chose the gun is that (according to something I read a while ago) it has the highest mortality rate of suicide methods, when you shoot through the roof of the mouth as he did. He didn't want to be rescued, and he didn't want to mess it up and have organ or brain damage but still be alive. He wanted to be dead.

[pwcorgigirl]

Harrowing is exactly the right word, but oh, this is so well done. I was lulled, along with everyone, right up until Steiner notices that expression, and then it takes off like a rocket, with the speed of events and emotions tumbling out, with House's dogged chase to track Wilson down before it's too late.

You are absolutely correct in the sense of peace and almost joy Wilson has in talking to House at the door. When someone's made up his mind to do this, they often suddenly have the clarity and calmness they've so desperately sought. It can fool those who love them into thinking they've become better, and in this case, the contrast of Wilson's demeanor to House's desperation makes the tension almost unbearable.

[deelaundry]

daisylily suggested "harrowing"; it definitely seemed the right word to me.

Thanks so much for your comments, because that's exactly what I thought as well, writing this. Wilson makes his decision in the opening minutes and then calmly goes about getting ready, hiding it from absolutely everyone. (Until, of course, that micro expression gives him away.)

[pinglederry]

Y'know, I was going to write my own review and everything, but you, pwcorgigirl, took most of the words right out of my mouth. So I guess I'll start by gesturing vaguely upwards and saying, 'What she said.'

I wasn't sad at the end so much; I guess Wilson's utter calmness just sort of rubbed off. It's eerie and yet completely realistic how rational he is about all of this, and it bothers me mightily how much sense it makes. I caught myself nodding along with your rationale as to why he'd use a gun and was all Well, of course. And he'd never have to deal with the mess or anything, either, because he wouldn't be there anymore... And then I stopped myself, because I was getting creeped out. I blame your perfect writing style. I'm gonna go find some Rolos, now. *wanders off in a vague daze*

[deelaundry]

I found myself a little creeped out, too, thinking after the fic was done that it seemed like an understandable decision for Wilson. Yikes. I hope he has some better times on the show, soon. Thanks.

[hannahrorlove]

I read some meta a while ago on why Wilson is the character who would be the one most likely to collapse, so I wasn't terribly surprised by what he did here, especially in the way you set it up - you make the possibility all that more vivid to me for having seen it. It's a good story; people tend to forget Wilson's issues and you used them to great effect here.

[hannahrorlove]

Do you know where it was? I'd really like to read it.

[hannahrorlove]

The thread here, from this post.

[deelaundry]

Thanks. Wilson just seems to have so much more going on underneath than the show is willing to explore. It's a shame. Not that I would want them to bring him to this conclusion!