[060.] Absurdity and Madness
Title: Absurdity and Madness
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [060.] Peace
Word Count: 8,658
Rating: R
Summary: Cloud spills the beans, and who the hell are Squally and Chocobo-head?
Disclaimer: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I’m sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let’s face it: I don’t even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there’s no proof of, because I’m deluded like that.
Cloud sat astride Fenrir, one leg on either side, still clutching two pieces of his brand new sword in his hands. His eyes fell on Zack in the crumbling doorway remains and all the angry feelings dissipated; the confusion returned. Zack was usually so cool and casual. He’d seemed so back at Tifa’s even with the hurt in his expression. Now he was standing there, looking so unsure of what to do or say. Cloud had only ever seen Zack look like this once back in Nibelheim when Sephiroth wouldn’t come out of that basement for days. The connection between the two monumental situations did little to ease his guilt.
“Tifa’s worried about you,” said Zack. “She found your Gummi ship but you weren’t there so I came looking for you.”
Zack shifted and took an uneasy step toward Cloud. For a brief moment, his eyes shot to the side, and Cloud followed the direction. He landed on Leon who looked more composed than either he or Zack must have looked; his stoic, unmoved expression wavered between the other two. Cloud turned his attention back to Fenrir, placing the two sword pieces in compartments on his bike. He sighed and shot Leon a glance, their eyes meeting briefly for a second.
“Obviously,” said Cloud. “I told you I was going for a walk.”
“That was yesterday, and you took Fenrir without telling anyone.”
“You saw me take her.”
“You’re missing the point, Cloud.”
“Then what is it the point?”
Cloud wasn’t sure why he was snapping at him. Perhaps it was the emotions running fast and thick through his system. He couldn’t have controlled his mouth if he tried. He knew it was unfair to take this unforeseeable turn of events out on Zack. He wasn’t even unhappy Zack was back, but now, essentially, he had two boyfriends, one of which he had to hurt, and this was why Cloud pushed away people in the first place. It never turned out well in the end. Look at what had just happened to Riku.
Zack didn’t answer. Instead, he actually gave Leon an uneasy glance. Cloud almost snickered at the hesitant look in Zack’s eyes when he managed to figure out what it was all about. He didn’t recognize him. It had been so long . . .
“Who’s your friend?” said Zack.
Leon’s eyes slightly widened, just enough for Cloud to notice, but not enough for Zack to catch on. This time Cloud actually did snicker.
“Is he serious?” said Leon.
“I think he is,” said Cloud.
Zack looked between them as if trying to figure something out. His face was screwed in concentration. Then his face changed to something that might have been anxiety if SOLDIER hadn’t beaten that emotion out of all their First Class elite.
“You’re not . . . Riku? Are you?”
This time Leon actually laughed, too.
“Definitely not,” said Leon.
“He wishes,” said Cloud.
“What?”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Riku thinks you’re super sexy. If it weren’t for me, he’d totally have sex with you. He made me a point to tell me all about it when I went to see him.”
Leon snickered.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. He just likes to get you riled up. He’s got a sick sense of humor like that.”
“Well it worked.”
“I’m missing something,” said Zack.
“Yes, you are,” said Leon.
“Come on, Zack,” said Cloud. “You remember Squall, don’t you?”
“Do not call me that. It’s Leon now.”
“He doesn’t know that.”
“Well now he does.”
“Still think Leon Leonheart sounds stupid.”
“I don’t really care what you think.”
“Did I go into detail about Ascalon and Sidewinder yet?”
“Choke and die.”
“Wait,” said Zack. He walked farther into the church this time, hesitation gone, and peered closely down at Leon. “Squall? Squall Leonheart?”
“For the love of . . .” said Leon. “Now look what you did!”
Cloud snickered.
“He prefers Leon,” said Cloud.
“What . . .” said Zack. “I haven’t seen you since . . .”
“Yeah,” said Leon. “It’s been a long time.”
Cloud smiled and glanced up from Fenrir to take in the scene before him. It had been a long time. When was it last just him, Zack, and Leon? Almost ten years, not since they were kids. Still, this felt so normal. Maybe it was because he was used to Riku being the third addition to their friendship these days, but Zack was so different from Riku that Cloud suspected it was just Zack. He fell easily back into the fold despite the more awkward points of the situation. It was nice.
“What are you doing here?” said Zack.
“Cloud called me in hysterics freaking out about you being back from the dead. I’m here for moral support.”
Cloud shot Leon a grateful smile, but when Leon’s eyes caught his, Cloud’s smile fell away. Apparently Cloud was getting ahead of himself; Zack did not fall as easily back in the fold for everyone. Some moral support Leon was going to be. His voice was confident and casual, and even his body language was relaxed, but there was something not right in his eyes and the setting his lips had taken. Cloud wondered if maybe Leon was taking this Zack resurrection just as bad if not worse than Cloud himself. Zack looked far worse off and awkward looking down at Leon who hadn’t even bothered to stand.
“Yeah, I heard you were close again,” said Zack. “I think it’s really great.”
Leon nodded.
“It is. He’s trouble and pretty helpless, but he’s so good to laugh at that you just have to forgive him.”
Zack laughed.
“Sounds like Spiky.”
“Shut up, Leon. You say that like you aren’t trouble,” said Cloud. “And your demands that I can’t meet? They’re unreasonable.”
Leon looked at Cloud.
“I asked you to hit a nail with a hammer.”
“And for me, that’s unreasonable.”
Leon shrugged.
“Touché.”
“Yeah, right. So you can just stop broadcasting how I’m helpless to everyone.”
“I do not broadcast.”
“I can tell absolutely nothing has changed between you two,” said Zack.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Cloud.
“You always bickered like this. The biggest difference is you haven’t made Squally cry yet.”
Cloud snickered.
“Cloud did not make me cry. He is pitiful and incompetent, and my name is Leon.”
“Sure it is, Squally.”
“Squally . . .” said Cloud, still snickering. “I forgot you called him that.”
“My name is Leon!”
“I know it is, kiddo,” said Zack. He winked at Cloud. “Just go along with whatever he says. We wouldn’t want to confuse him.”
Leon glared the kind of glare that would make Yuffie shut up. Zack seemed unconcerned.
“Why the hell are you picking on me? Don’t you have better things to do now that you’re back from the dead?”
Zack appeared to ponder this for a moment and then shook his head.
“Not really. I’m sorry, kiddo. Did I hurt your feelings?”
“Don’t call me kiddo!”
“Still gets bent of shape easy, too . . .”
“And the tables get turned,” said Cloud. “It’s about time. I was starting to think I might have to spend the rest of my life with Leon and Riku ganging up on me.”
Zack’s smile became a little less joyous, a little more closed off at the mention of Riku, but it didn’t falter completely. Cloud noticed this, his laughter quieting. He tried to turn over the thousand things he might say to rectify the situation in his head, but nothing came. Zack fixed his glance on Leon, avoiding Cloud’s eye.
“It’s good to know someone kept Cloud grounded in my absence,” said Zack. “Unfortunately the same can’t be said for you, Squally.”
Leon rolled his eyes.
“Why do you insist on harassing me?”
“Because you were the baby.”
“Yuffie was the baby.”
“Yuffie was badass. You were a wimp.”
“Why do I not remember this?” said Cloud.
“Cause you were the one who always made him cry? Maybe you’re blocking it out.”
“If I made him cry, why does he gang up on me?”
“Revenge,” said Leon. He was still glaring. “Enough of this. You came here for a reason, didn’t you?”
Zack was still grinning as he turned his attention back to Cloud.
“Yeah. Tifa wanted me to track Spiky down. She’s been worried since you took off with Fenrir that you might have run into Kadaj and his gang. She even called Reno in case you headed over to Healen.”
“What the hell is Healen?”
“That’s what I said. Glad to know I’m not the only one who missed a lot.”
“I’ve been in Hollow Bastion.”
“And Olympus Coliseum,” said Leon. “And in Traverse Town. And the World that Never Was. And on your Gummi.”
“I get around a lot, okay? That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Zack. “It’s some new town, I guess. Never heard of it before, anyway, and I heard a lot in SOLDIER. They’ve got some Geostigma Sanatorium there. Anyway, that’s where Reno is. Obviously you didn’t go there . . .”
“Obviously. I haven’t even been in touch with Reno yet.”
“You’ll get on that when you’re ready, but I really should be convincing you to go back to Tifa’s. The kids are worried, too . . .”
At the mention of the kids Cloud hung his head. It had been selfish to take off like that. When it was just Tifa in the picture . . . Marlene and Denzel shouldn’t be worried about him. They were just kids, and he was the grown up here. It should’ve been the other way around.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
Cloud closed the compartments on Fenrir, hiding away the last pieces of First Tsurugi. Leon stood, brushing off his leather pants as if this were the final signal they were leaving.
“Listen . . .” Zack spared Leon a glance before crossing close to Cloud. “I know this is hard for you, too. I know you were there when it happened. This was probably the last thing you ever expected.”
“It was just hard getting over you. I mean . . . I was there. I saw you die, and I had to get over failing you on top of losing my boyfriend. Now that I’ve actually moved on . . .”
“I get it. If our positions were reversed, I would expect you to understand, too. I don’t want to make this any harder on either one of us.”
“Neither do I.”
“Just know that whatever Tifa might think should happen or what I would like to happen, I get it. You have a new boyfriend, and I understand that. I just hope he knows how lucky he is.”
“I have full confidence that he does,” said Leon, walking up to Cloud’s side. Cloud managed to give him half a smile.
“I hope so,” said Cloud.
“Things are just messed up with him right now.”
Zack frowned.
“Why? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”
Cloud laughed without mirth in an exasperated sort of way. He shook his head.
“Yeah. Something’s always wrong with Riku.”
“Yeah . . . Tifa told me about the realm of darkness debacle.”
“Did she?”
“Why don’t we talk about this later,” said Leon. “Give Cloud time to sort out his thoughts, huh?”
“You, too,” said Cloud. “I still need to know about that phone call.”
“And I will tell you once we get Tifa’s verbal lashing out of the way.”
“I can know about this, too, right?” said Zack. “I’m not out of the loop now just because I was dead or me and Spiky broke up or anything am I?”
Leon grinned.
“You can be there for the depressing, monumental Riku conversation if you really like,” said Leon.
“Just be forewarned it will be depressing and monumental,” said Cloud.
“And you might feel you’ve gathered a thousand reasons to take back what you said about understanding Cloud has a new boyfriend.”
“It won’t matter what you think, though, because I won’t listen. I love him, and I’m not going to break up with him. We promised not to let this affect the way we feel about each other.”
“Oh, really? Why don’t I know about this?”
“Why do you need to know about it? What are you? Our relationship guru?”
“Yes, and it’s not my fault. You put me there all the way back in Olympus Coliseum. You’re telling me about this.”
“We also talked about commitment.”
“You are so telling me about this.”
“I will. After Tifa’s verbal lashing, right?”
“Right.”
“Do I get to hear about this, too?” said Zack. “Or is that too much?”
“If you really want to know,” said Cloud.
“Hey, just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean I don’t take a serious interest in your life. I fully intend on meeting your little Riku and giving him the talk.”
“I’m not sure whether I have to be there for that, or it’s just something I never even want to hear about,” said Leon.
“You and me both,” said Cloud.
“What?” said Zack. “You don’t think he’ll like me?”
“Definitely not,” said Leon.
“I think he will,” said Cloud. “After a month or so.”
“Yeah. Once he gets past the fact that it’s Zack.”
“He felt threatened by you even in your death.”
Zack raised his eyebrows.
“No wonder you’re freaking out so much. Here I thought I was just that repulsive to you.”
“No. I’m glad you’re back. It just . . . it’s hard, and Riku’s going to lose his mind over this, especially after what happened to him.”
“Which I still don’t know about,” said Leon.
“I know. You will. Be patient.”
Leon grumbled.
“Well . . . I’ve got my bike outside,” said Zack. “Ready to head back to Tifa’s?”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Leon? You coming with me or Zack?”
“I’ve already debased myself to riding with you,” said Leon. “I don’t need to add Zack to the list.”
“Thanks. I feel loved.”
“Sorry, Cloud, but the idea of clinging to you on your sexed up motorcycle just doesn’t do it for me.”
“Riku would like it.”
“Riku likes pretty much anything to do with you.”
“He does, doesn’t he?”
“This Riku conversation later is going to be a little harder to hear than I initially anticipated,” said Zack as Cloud climbed back on Fenrir. “I will take comfort in his feeling threatened. Is it wrong I kind of enjoy it?”
“What?” said Leon. “That Riku feels threatened by you?”
“Yes, that.”
“I think that’s a perfectly normal response.”
Cloud shrugged and nodded.
“Makes me feel bad, but yeah . . .”
“You gotta stop that shit,” said Leon. “It doesn’t help anyone.”
“He’s right,” said Zack.
“Thank you, voices of reason. Can we get going now?”
Zack laughed and waved Cloud off as he walked back to the church entrance. Leon climbed on the back of Fenrir behind Cloud.
“This is going to work out okay, right?” said Cloud.
Leon patted his shoulder.
“Yes. Zack will get over it, Riku will accept it, and Zack’s interest in your relationship is a good sign that he’s willing to see you with someone else. It’s going to be hard, and he’s going to wish you’d just drop Riku, but he’s trying to make an effort. You have to give it time.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes. Now go, because I wasn’t kidding earlier. Riding on your bike with you like you fucking girlfriend freaks me out.”
“You’re such a good friend, Lee.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
Cloud laughed as he turned the key, revved the engine, and drove from the church in the direction of Tifa’s place in Edge.
~*~
Zack was waiting outside when Cloud pulled Fenrir into the garage. Leon and he dismounted and headed back outside, meeting up with Zack before attempting to go inside.
“I’ll buffer for you, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” said Zack. “Tifa is really unhappy with you right now.”
“What else is new?” said Leon. “Tifa’s always unhappy with Cloud.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “What’s that about, anyway? It’s like she thinks she’s my mother or something.”
“I think this time it’s because you ran out yesterday, took off with your bike without telling anyone, gave no indication of where you were going, never came back, and on top of it all there’s three mini-Sephiroths looking for you. Maybe Sephiroth himself, at that,” said Zack.
“She worries about you,” said Leon.
“It’s not like I can’t take care of myself,” said Cloud. He frowned, glaring at some point beyond Zack of no significance.
“You had no weapon,” said Zack.
“I do now.”
“Please don’t get him started,” said Leon.
Cloud chose to ignore Leon’s statement for now. He was sure that in the course of Leon’s stay there would be more than enough ample opportunities to retaliate and defend his honor. Instead he focused on the building, eyeing it up as if entering would be the source of his demise. Cloud shook his head.
“I should’ve never come back here.”
Zack actually laughed.
“Tifa isn’t that bad.”
“Oh, yes, she is. Leon, you’re my second in command. If she tries to make me cry, it’s your job to eat her again.”
Leon rolled his eyes.
“I do not eat her.”
“You so ate her at the bonfire; it was almost funny.”
“You guys had a bonfire?” said Zack. “When?”
“Last fall,” said Leon.
“I can’t believe I missed that.”
“You miss a lot when you’re dead.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
“Cloud?”
Cloud’s head snapped away from the house and turned toward Leon.
“What?”
“Are you going to go in or what?”
“I’m still debating.”
“I can’t go in until Spiky does,” said Zack. “Tifa will eat me if I walk in there without him.”
Leon looked between Zack and Cloud. He growled and pushed past them toward the door.
“Where are you going?” said Cloud.
“I’m not standing out here all day with you two idiots. Tifa is not scary, and I’m not going to cower by her door abetting your fears.”
“Does he know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Tifa’s punches?” said Zack as Leon wrenched open the door and stepped inside. He didn’t bother to shut it.
“I don’t think so.”
“Think we should go save him?”
“It would be the honorable thing to do.”
“Since when are we honorable, though?”
“You make a good point. However, once Tifa knows Leon’s here and I’m still hiding outside, the verbal lashing is going to be so much worse.”
“Good point.”
Zack and Cloud considered each other for a second. A soft, almost affectionate smile crossed Zack’s lips and Cloud tried not to shift too much, forced himself not to look away and make this awkward again. He returned the gesture with as much of a smile as he could muster, which might have looked like a grimace, but Zack either didn’t notice or attributed it to whatever was awaiting Cloud inside. Cloud nodded.
“Let’s get this over with then,” said Cloud.
“After you.”
Cloud regarded Zack a second longer and then strode to the open door, mindful to keep his shoulders squared and head high. This confrontation with Tifa after he just took off yesterday was something like going into battle. Cloud had gone into too many battles to not know that any show of his weaknesses should be left at the door. As many as he could hide there, anyway, because he had a lot of them, and Tifa’s arsenal had a surprisingly broad range.
“Tifa!” said Zack. “I’m back, and I’ve got Spiky in tow!”
Tifa walked out from the back with a dish and towel in hand. Leon walked out behind her. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the doorway, and nodded at Cloud.
“Tifa’s so pleased to see me,” he said.
“I was just surprised!” said Tifa. “Don’t make me throw this at you.”
She brandished the dish at him.
“We really missed something there,” said Cloud.
“And this time I wasn’t even dead,” said Zack.
“No, you really didn’t,” said Leon. “Just Tifa barking at me about what the hell I was doing here, and ‘Don’t you have a restoration to take care of?’”
He said the last part in a high-pitched, snappy tone. Tifa spun around and dropped the hand holding the towel to her side. The cloth actually slapped against her leg.
“Was that supposed to be me?”
“No, of course not.”
“I do not sound like that.”
Leon shook his head.
“Of course you don’t.”
Tifa glared at him and turned her face back to Zack and Cloud. Over her shoulder, Leon nodded. He mouthed something that looked like, ‘Yes, she does.’ Zack snorted.
Tifa sighed. She placed the dish on the bar counter and touched a hand to her forehead. Cloud shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“So . . .” said Cloud. “If there’s nothing else . . . I mean . . . So where did you want me to sleep?”
Tifa glanced up. Her eyes were livid.
“Where . . .? Are you kidding? Where the hell have you been?!”
Cloud shrugged.
“Out?”
“He slept on the Gummi ship,” said Zack.
“We checked the Gummi,” said Tifa.
“I was overwhelmed, okay?” said Cloud. “I called Leon and he told me to stay on the Gummi and not go anywhere until he could call me back so I did. He showed up. We went and got me a new sword, and then we went to the church in the Sector Six Slums. That’s it. I didn’t see Sephiroth. I didn’t meet up with Kadaj and his gang. I hardly had any human contact.”
“What the hell do you call me?” said Leon.
“You don’t count,” said Zack.
“I just needed to clear my head,” said Cloud.
Tifa sighed. She stared down at the bar counter for a long while and then she glanced up to meet his eyes.
“I’ve moved Marlene into Denzel’s room. Zack’s staying in Marlene’s, and I don’t have any extra rooms, so you’re going to have to share with Zack. Think you can handle that?”
Cloud gritted his teeth.
“Yeah. I think I’ll manage.”
“Well how am I supposed to know, Cloud? After the way you just took of yesterday . . .”
“It was a big shock,” said Zack. “I’m sure we’ll be okay bunking up, eh, grunt?”
Cloud glared.
“Don’t call me that. I always hated it when you called me that.”
“Now you know how I feel,” said Leon.
“And now that you’ve drawn attention to yourself . . .” said Tifa. She placed on hand on her hip and spun toward Leon. “Vincent should be home tonight and I’m not sharing with you, so as long as you’re here, you’re going to have to share with the moron twins. Have fun with that.”
“Oh come on,” said Leon. “I wanted to bunk with Marlene and Denzel.”
“Why am I a moron now?” said Zack. “You I get, but what did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything,” said Tifa.
Cloud snorted.
“Yeah. You just are a moron.”
“Let me just say I really feel the love in this room right now,” said Zack. He patted his chest. “I mean really. Right here in my heart. We should have a group hug or something.”
“Hug me and I kill you,” said Leon.
“I don’t think he’s kidding,” said Cloud.
“Now this is what I’m talking about,” said Zack. “I feel so close to you all. Come on Squally, grunt. I’ll show you to our room and we can start planning our slumber party.”
Zack actually took off up the staircase. Leon quirked one eyebrow and directed it at Cloud.
“That’s Zack’s way of getting you out of the room before I think of anything else to say to you,” said Tifa.
“Ah,” said Cloud. “Right on that.”
“Was he always like that?” said Leon, joining Cloud on the stairs. “Or is this just . . . his brain . . . is it scrambled or something since he died?”
Cloud shook his head.
“Nope. Zack was always like this.”
“I remember him being . . .”
“Cooler?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s almost tragic how far our heroes fall when we grow up and realize they’re a bunch of dorks.”
Leon stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at Cloud. He nodded.
“You’re right. I used to look up to you, too.”
“Oh shut up.”
“Really feel the love in this room,” said Zack from a door somewhere to the left. “It just warms my heart.”
~*~
There were two beds in the room designated for Zack, Cloud, and Leon to share. Leon was the first to point out this problem, and when Zack and Cloud decided that Leon would be best off sharing with Cloud, he bitched for three full minutes about personal space before he insisted on sleeping on the floor. He got halfway through tearing the blankets off the bed before Zack actually kicked him in the foot, mussed up his long, sable hair, and told him to grow up.
“I know Spiky’s sexy, but I have faith in your powers of self-control,” said Zack.
“Why don’t you two share?” said Leon. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
The twin glares he received were enough to convince Leon of the sheer idiocy that such a statement suggested. Leon, however, in a seeming battle against giving Zack the satisfaction of winning (because, by this point, Cloud was sure Leon would ordinarily give in), continued his attempts at setting up a makeshift bed on the floor. He would only be here for a few days, he protested. He needed his personal space when he slept. He couldn’t take the threat he might wake up next to Cloud having one of those dreams about Riku.
Unfortunately for Leon, Zack did not seem to notice that Leon was just being stubborn (or maybe he had and was just genuinely enjoying pissing Leon off). Every time Leon dropped his pillow on the floor, Zack returned it to the bed. When Leon dragged his sheets to the floor and turned back for the pillow again, Zack collected the blankets together and dropped them on the bed. Cloud sat on Zack’s bed watching this exchange, trying not to laugh, as they worked around each other in circles, undoing everything the other had just accomplished.
“Lee, why don’t you just give up?” said Cloud after the eighth time this cycle occurred. “I’m really not that bad.”
“This is principle now.”
“I’m just going to keep picking it all up,” said Zack. “My persistence is almost unheard of. You might as well give in.”
“I’m not giving you the satisfaction, Fair.”
“Isn’t he cute trying to prove how grown up he’s become?”
“Why are you torturing me like this?”
“It’s a big brother’s prerogative.”
“You’re not my brother!”
“That’s not what you used to say.”
“I was ten!”
Cloud snickered.
“You have no idea how much fun it is watching you get tortured for a change,” said Cloud.
“That’s enough commentary from the peanut gallery, Strife.”
“He’s getting serious, Zack. Might want to back off.”
“Not in this lifetime. I have seniority whether I died or not. Squally’s just going to have to accept that.”
“Stop calling me Squally!”
“But you look so precious when you blush like that. Doesn’t he look precious, Spiky?”
“Adorable.”
“I hate you both.”
“Just let him win,” said Cloud. “I’ll help you get him next time. It’s not like I’m going to hog the covers or anything.”
“Yeah,” said Zack. “I’m the blanket hog. Isn’t that right, Chocobo-head?”
“Whatever . . . I can’t take this anymore, anyway.”
Leon collapsed on the bed next to Cloud. Zack did a little victory dance and dumped all of the blankets back on the bed. He sat on top of them.
“And he doesn’t even make the bed . . .” said Leon.
“Why should I? You made the mess.”
Leon sighed.
“So I guess we have our routine ‘Riku is in trouble’ talk to go over, don’t we?” said Leon.
“Leon is our relationship therapist,” said Cloud.
“I’m considering charging a fee.”
“You would never. You love us both too damn much to let us abuse each other as we do.”
“This is true.”
“Besides, if you want to be my best friend, you have to take all the bullshit that comes with it.”
“Why is it that’s all you seem to come with?”
“Because it’s Spiky,” said Zack. “He’s always been full of drama. I’ve never met anyone else with so many issues.”
Cloud raised an eyebrow.
“Oh really?”
“Really. Okay, well, there is Sephiroth, but he doesn’t really count. He’s so messed up I can’t even properly touch on that.”
Cloud shrugged.
“Good point.”
“So . . . yeah. Let’s hear what’s going on with your boy-toy. I want to at least be in the loop if I can’t be the boyfriend.”
“And let’s be direct here,” said Leon. “What the hell happened to his voice?”
Cloud sighed. He dropped his head in his hands.
“Can’t we ease into this or something?”
“No,” said Zack and Leon. They smirked at each other.
“Fine,” said Cloud. “Riku . . .”
“Does it have to do with the darkness?” said Zack. “I heard he was in the realm of darkness.”
“Yeah,” said Leon. “What did Tifa tell you?”
Zack shrugged.
“Cloud was dating some kid who was fucked up in the darkness. I hear he’s sixteen, right?” Cloud and Leon nodded. “Way to pick ‘em young, by the way, Spiky.”
“You do know I have a name, don’t you?” said Cloud.
“Yeah. What do you mean?”
“Chocobo-head. Spiky. Grunt. My name is Cloud.”
“I know that, but Cloud’s just not fun to say. I could call you Cloudy. Cloudster. Oh! Cloudykins!”
Cloud blinked.
“Yeah. Chocobo-head works.”
Zack smiled.
“I knew you’d see things my way.”
“Off the subject . . .” said Leon.
“Oh, right!” said Zack. “Okay . . . well. I don’t know. Tifa just said he was really messed up. He was in the realm of darkness. Something about Keyblades and he’s one of the wielders, but he was caught up with the bad guys. Got possessed. I don’t know. She kept talking about how she doubted it would last with you both involved with the darkness and that now that I’m back, she hopes we get back together. Obviously that’s not going to happen . . .”
“They’re really good for each other,” said Leon. He gave Cloud a wry smile. “Even if they do need serious amounts of therapy.”
“Spiky would need therapy either way.”
“I love you both so much,” said Cloud.
“We know.”
“It sounds like you’re pretty caught up to speed, then,” said Leon. It seemed to Cloud he was the only one without a wandering attention span. “If you have any questions just ask, okay?”
“No problem.”
“Okay. So . . . What the hell is going on?”
“I told you . . . I can’t say anything.”
“I’m getting kind of tired of that excuse. When I talked to Riku he just didn’t sound right.”
“What happened there? Really. He said he acted like an asshole, but I couldn’t really follow what he was going off about.”
Leon sighed.
“I’m lost,” said Zack.
“Riku was living with us in Hollow Bastion,” said Leon.
“Right. Tifa told me.”
“But he senses things . . . it’s because of the Keyblade, I think. And there were these weird creatures popping up around Hollow Bastion . . .”
“Nobodies,” said Cloud.
“Huh?” said Zack.
“They’re Nobodies. When someone gets turned into a Heartless, the Nobody is the empty shell that’s leftover. That’s what Roxas was. Sora’s Nobody.”
“Sora’s the kiddie Keyblade master no one remembers, right?”
“Yep. Sora has been asleep all this time with his memories taken apart because of something that happened in Castle Oblivion.”
“Where Riku was between the realm of darkness and Hollow Bastion,” said Leon.
“Yeah, Tifa went over that. Said that’s why no one can remember the kid. She told me a bit about this Organization XIII, but not much. I don’t really understand what they are.”
“Group of powerful Nobodies, and that’s about all anyone knows right now,” said Cloud. “Roxas was in their ranks.”
“How does Sora have a Nobody, though?” said Zack. “He’s a Keyblade master. He couldn’t have been a Heartless . . .”
“I don’t remember, but I’m sure that once we actually remember the kid . . .”
“Ah, yeah. Good point.”
“So, anyway, Riku took off because the piece of Ansem in his heart was bothering him,” said Cloud. “He just knew something was starting to happen so he left. He ended up running into this DiZ guy he met in Castle Oblivion, who told him about Organization XIII and Roxas. So now that he had a goal, he was on his way again.”
“To the World that Never Was,” said Leon.
“Which happens to be where Organization XIII’s stronghold is. He had to obtain Roxas-Sora’s Nobody-for DiZ to wake Sora back up because Naminé-that’s this witch girl who took Sora’s memories apart in the first place-she can’t chain everything back together without that piece of him. I went after him, and then . . .”
“That’s as much as I know,” said Leon. “Except something that Riku is horribly embarrassed about happened and he wants no one to know what that thing is. I tried to call him because we’re friends and I’m worried about him, but . . .”
“But he was horrible, or so he says,” said Cloud. “Actually, he said he freaked out, and was horrible, and now he’s freaking out because he has to make this up to you before his pride destroys everything like it did with Sora last time.”
“He was defensive,” said Leon. “He was confused and defensive. Reminded me more of a scared animal backed into a corner than anything. I don’t hold anything he said against him. I just want to know what happened so I can understand.”
“It’s nothing new,” said Cloud. “I mean . . . it is new. It’s just because of the piece of Ansem in his heart still. It would’ve never happened if he hadn’t been possessed. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m incredibly proud of him, but I hate how it turned out. Especially for him because now . . .”
“Why don’t you just tell us, Cloud? I’ll pretend to be surprised when he tells me,” said Leon. “Besides, it’s better than Zack thinking he’s gotta steal you back before Riku only makes your connections with the darkness worse.”
“He’s got a point there,” said Zack. “This is just sounding all bad right now. I know he can’t be too terrible because you like him, and you have excellent taste if I say so myself, but I’m just not seeing anything good about him.”
“He’s the strongest person I know,” said Cloud. He took a deep breath.
“You said by the time you got there he already fought Roxas and lost. Badly.”
“Roxas wasn’t coming quietly, I take it,” said Zack.
“Not at all. When I found him . . . yeah. He’d already tried to fight Roxas, but he lost. Roxas is amazing.”
“He reminds Cloud of Sephiroth.”
Zack blew out a low whistle.
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Riku just didn’t stand a chance. He had to resort to using the darkness just to avoid being killed.”
Leon sat up a little at this new piece of information.
“I know you said he had to use darkness to beat him, but you didn’t say anything about that first fight,” said Leon.
“It gets worse from here on out, trust me,” said Cloud. “He had to win to help awaken Sora, but Roxas was just too good. He let out just enough so that Roxas didn’t kill him, but when that happened . . . All the dark powers he has are tied to that piece of Ansem. By the time I got to him, his eyes were already orange.”
“You just totally lost me,” said Zack.
Cloud swallowed.
“He was possessed. When Ansem was killed, he still had Riku’s body. Riku was in the realm of darkness. His heart overcame it, but he wasn’t strong enough to take his body back. It only returned after Ansem was defeated right before they shut that door to darkness. The piece of Ansem in his heart and the powers are connected, so when he let out some of the power . . .”
“He let out some of Ansem’s appearance, too,” said Leon, releasing a long breath.
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah. And until he can defeat that final piece any dark powers he uses . . .”
“Are just going to let it out a little more,” said Leon. “Only . . .”
“Only to capture Roxas he had to take full advantage of those powers he still had lying dormant in his heart. So . . . there was no other option. I was there. I couldn’t do anything to help him. I just had to watch it all, and Roxas wasn’t backing down. Riku was taking such a beating, but without Roxas . . .”
“No Sora,” said Leon. “And with no Sora . . .”
“The worlds are fucked?” said Zack.
“Yeah. So . . . Yeah. He chose to use the resources he had, and now . . .”
“And now he looks and sounds just like Ansem,” said Leon.
“All in the name of Sora’s reawakening,” said Cloud. “And it doesn’t end there because now he’s in Twilight Town watching over Roxas while Sora’s being restored. He has full intentions of guiding Sora and watching over Organization XIII once he’s awake. His life is just completely on hold until this is finished.”
“And he doesn’t want Sora to know,” said Leon.
“Absolutely not. The last time he saw Sora he was on the other side of the door to the realm of darkness. He does not want Sora seeing him again for the first time after all that still walking in the darkness, completely encased in it.”
Leon closed his eyes. His hands clasped, he brought them to his forehead, and his thumb worried the skin between his eyebrows.
“As far as Sora is concerned, I know nothing more than he’s ever told me about Riku. I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard . . .”
Cloud met Zack’s eyes. Zack shrugged.
“Sounds like you’ve got a fucking martyr on your hands there.”
“He feels he’s got to atone,” said Cloud. “For everything he did wrong. And like I said, I’m so proud of him for the choices he’s made, but . . .”
“But you hate seeing him go through this,” said Zack. “I get you.”
“He’s showering in the dark. This appearance is just a constant reminder of everything wrong he’s done. He can’t even stand to look at himself. He doesn’t even really want me to know. He talks about it a little, but he doesn’t want to talk much because of the voice. He certainly doesn’t want to see me, and . . .” Cloud took a deep breath. He focused his gaze on the floor. “We promised in the World that Never Was that if this happened-we knew it might come to it-we wouldn’t let it tear us apart. But now . . . I’m almost happy when we don’t speak because . . .”
“Because . . .” said Leon. Cloud cut him off.
“Let me finish this. I have to say it myself.” Cloud took a deep breath again. “Because I don’t really want to face it. I don’t want it to be real. I know it’s selfish, but I want my Riku back. It’s not his voice. The last time I saw him . . . I know it’s him, but I have to remind myself that, and I don’t want to have to. I try to act like nothing’s changed when we talk because nothing really has . . . I love him more than ever, but . . . but it hurts. I haven’t called him. I hope he doesn’t call me. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I have no doubt that he’ll overcome this,” said Leon. “I never had any doubt that he would beat that piece of Ansem, and I’m still sure he will.”
“I know he will. I just don’t know how to handle it in the meantime.”
“Just give it time. Listen to him. Just be there for him.”
Cloud nodded.
“All I have to say is it’s no wonder he’s a Keyblade wielder,” said Zack.
“Why’s that?” said Cloud.
“I don’t think any of us could handle all of what that kid’s been through quite as well.”
“He’s showering in the dark, Zack. He won’t even look in a mirror. He’s beating himself up every day, and I’m only making it harder by letting it get to me.”
“Yeah, but he’s still doing something. He’s still trying to help that Sora kid out, isn’t he? He’s not just sitting around brooding for awhile before someone forces him to take action. He went and did that on his own.”
Leon raised his eyebrows. Cloud’s gaze dropped to the floor.
“He’s right,” said Leon, shrugging. “Can’t argue with that.”
Cloud nodded. He raised his eyes to look at Zack and gave him a sad smile.
“He’s the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
“Hey, Zack, say something stupid,” said Leon.
“What? Why?”
“Because I feel like I’m suffocating in the depression here.”
“No way. I’m saving all the wisecracks for when Spiky tells us about their commitment conversation.”
Leon’s eyes brightened.
“Oh, yeah. You promised us one of those, too.”
Cloud laughed a little.
“It really wasn’t that funny. I told you it was in the World that Never Was. He challenged me with his Ansem orange eyes.”
“Challenged you?” said Leon. “Come again?”
“Yeah. He was blindfolded most of the time because he couldn’t bear to look at his eyes like that, but he took it off when we started talking about commitment. He said if I could talk about it with his eyes like that, then it could be a little more real.”
“Sounds like Riku.”
“I really want to hate this kid but I just can’t,” said Zack.
“You’d love him,” said Leon. “He managed to drag Cloud to a club for New Year’s last year. This is also known as the Christmas Incident wherein Cloud went crazy from jealousy and freaked out about how I was getting into their relationship, the way I look at Riku, and insisted I was trying to steal his boyfriend. Make a lot of jokes about it. Cloud likes them.”
Zack snickered.
“That was ages ago!” said Cloud. “Did you really have to tell him about that?”
“You should have been there,” said Leon. “The look in his eyes was classic. I swear he was plotting my murder.”
Zack was full out laughing by now.
“Spiky, I never took you for the jealous type.”
Cloud muttered under his breath. Leon snickered and nudged Cloud in the arm.
“Riku’s also really talented at trash-talking Cloud into the ground. If you ever want to gang up on someone, Riku’s the guy to get in on it. He was insulting Yuffie by the end of the first day, and that was his first encounter with the whole crew slinging verbal assaults around. Cloud even embarrassed the hell out of him talking about their reunion sex, which, if I’m correct in assuming, was probably only the second time Riku ever even had sex.”
“Impressive. I’ll have to meet him first, of course, and naturally I begrudge him for getting Chocobo-head all to himself, but I can’t really blame him. I was dead. I think I’m going to like him, though. I say we keep him and get rid of Spiky.”
“That’s just what I’ve been thinking.”
“Riku will be so happy to know that despite the ugly Ansem thing, you still like him more,” said Cloud. “And that’s coming from you and my ex-boyfriend.”
Leon directed a smile at Cloud for a second and then it dropped. He stared.
“Riku is going to have a nervous breakdown,” said Leon.
“Why?” said Zack.
“Huh?” said Cloud.
“Zack. He’s still so wary about your feelings for him, and he was under the impression he was dead.”
Cloud nodded.
“No shit. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“He’d freak out anyway, but on top of this Ansem thing . . .”
“I know! How am I supposed to tell him this now? He might have been secure before when I told him I was with him now and I love him, but now? When he looks like Ansem? This is the absolute worst time to throw something like this on him.”
“You can’t keep it from him, though. You can’t lie to him.”
“I know. That’ll just make it worse.”
Leon frowned.
“Just be completely honest with him. Let him vent. Let him freak out. Just keep reassuring him that you aren’t going anywhere, and keep doing it. He needs that in the first place, but even when he calms down about it . . . Just keep reassuring him.”
Cloud nodded.
“I know. I know.”
“I can talk to him if you want,” said Zack. “Let him know I’ve been completely shot down. It feels great, by the way.”
Cloud sighed.
“I’m sorry. I know . . . No one’s ever going to replace you . . .”
“Let’s not torture yourselves over this, okay?” said Leon. “Zack was dead. You moved on after a lot of heartache. He knows this. He didn’t expect you not to move on. Riku just needs reassurance now more than ever. You need to keep your priorities in check. No one can afford to try and not hurt feelings right now.”
“He’s right,” said Zack. “I hate this. A lot. And it’s really hard to hear you talk about Riku, but I’ve gotta make jokes to make this a little easier, and eventually it just will be easier. I’ll move on from this. You need to stop worrying about it. Worry about Riku. Worry about Sephiroth.”
“Exactly,” said Leon. “And don’t just worry. Take an example from Riku here. Do something. Take care of Sephiroth. Let Riku know how important he is. Don’t concern yourself with hurting anyone’s feelings. Just be honest with everyone and yourself. It’s the only thing you can do not to lose your sanity. And as far as the two of you go, just work on your friendship. Try to be at peace with one another. Zack is making an excellent effort.”
“I am, aren’t I?” said Zack.
“Yes, you are. And Cloud, you’re doing really well, too, actually talking about Riku in front of Zack. You just have to keep this up when I’m not around.”
“I will,” said Cloud. “Or I’ll try, anyway.”
Leon nodded.
“Good.”
“Now what is this about commitment?” said Zack.
“Yeah, really,” said Leon. “What are we talking here? A nice little cottage, a dog, and two kids?”
“It wasn’t much,” said Cloud. His mind flitted back to the World that Never Was and that dingy house for a second. Riku was there in his mind, wearing that stupid cloak, and despite the orange eyes, squirming and smiling like this was the most difficult yet fantastic conversation he’d ever had. “We just decided that once Ansem and Sephiroth are finished with, he wants me to move to Destiny Islands with him because that’s where he’s got to finish school.”
Zack chuckled.
“Finish school, huh? Better get yourself a car. Don’t want to have to drive him to school on Fenrir. All the kids will make fun of him.”
“Shut up,” said Cloud. “It’s not like that. I won’t have to drive him to school. Besides, I think it’s a really good thing he wants to go back and finish up.”
“It is,” said Leon in a terse way that made Cloud suspect that he was trying not to laugh, too. “Was there anything else?”
“Not really. Just finishing school and everything. After that we’re going to decide from there.”
“Decide what?” said Zack. “What color you want the picket fence to be?”
Cloud smiled at the floor.
“No. When he finishes school . . .”
“Look at that face!” said Zack, howling with laughter. “Look at that smile!”
Leon snickered.
“When he finishes school what?” said Leon.
“When he finishes school we’re going to have the conversation again and . . . and I’m supposed to ask him.”
“Ask him what?” said Zack, grinning.
“You know what.”
Cloud glared.
“I know. I just want you to say it.”
“I’d like to hear this out of your mouth myself, because I honestly thought the day would never come,” said Leon.
Cloud huffed; a muscle in his cheek twitched.
“Ask him . . . you know . . . about commitment ceremonies . . . and stuff . . .”
Zack actually doubled over and rolled back into the messed up pile of blankets. Cloud grabbed a pillow from the bed and chucked it at him.
“It isn’t funny!” said Cloud.
“Coming from you it is,” said Leon.
“I love him, okay?”
“You’re going to ask him to marry you when he finishes high school,” said Zack in tears. “That’s classic!”
“He’s very mature for his age!” said Cloud.
At this, Leon burst into laughter, trying to hide his mouth behind his hand.
“You can have your reception in a playground!” said Zack. “We’ll all have to drink grape juice instead of alcohol! Wouldn’t want to corrupt the youth, after all.”
“I think the youth’s already corrupted,” said Leon. “You can hear it a block away.”
Cloud rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and shook his head.
“I hope you both suffer horrific deaths.”
“I already did!” said Zack. Leon now was almost in tears, too.
Cloud sighed. He looked from Zack to Leon, still shaking his head. At least this was a truce, right? The three of them were at ease. Leon knew about Riku, Zack was taking it better than he could have ever hoped (far better-or he was just really good at hiding it), and Tifa wasn’t about to murder him in his sleep. Riku would find out sooner or later, but Leon would be there for support, and Cloud knew all it would take was time and assurance until Riku no longer felt threatened by Zack’s sudden and unexpected presence. Having Leon say so was the greatest comfort he could ever ask for.
Things were bound to turn to shit again soon enough. There was still Reno to attend to. Kadaj and his gang. Sephiroth. All of that could wait, though. Right now things were as happy as they could ever be in Gaea. He passed a glance between Leon and Zack once again as the laughter died down and Zack began to hiccup.
“I love you both,” said Cloud. “I hate you, but I love you.”
Leon smirked.
“Well what’s not to like?” said Leon.
“I don’t know,” said Zack. “You have a sudden loathing for the name Squally these days.”
Leon bashed Zack on the head with the bed’s remaining pillow.
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 060/100 Complete.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [060.] Peace
Word Count: 8,658
Rating: R
Summary: Cloud spills the beans, and who the hell are Squally and Chocobo-head?
Disclaimer: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I’m sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let’s face it: I don’t even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there’s no proof of, because I’m deluded like that.
Cloud sat astride Fenrir, one leg on either side, still clutching two pieces of his brand new sword in his hands. His eyes fell on Zack in the crumbling doorway remains and all the angry feelings dissipated; the confusion returned. Zack was usually so cool and casual. He’d seemed so back at Tifa’s even with the hurt in his expression. Now he was standing there, looking so unsure of what to do or say. Cloud had only ever seen Zack look like this once back in Nibelheim when Sephiroth wouldn’t come out of that basement for days. The connection between the two monumental situations did little to ease his guilt.
“Tifa’s worried about you,” said Zack. “She found your Gummi ship but you weren’t there so I came looking for you.”
Zack shifted and took an uneasy step toward Cloud. For a brief moment, his eyes shot to the side, and Cloud followed the direction. He landed on Leon who looked more composed than either he or Zack must have looked; his stoic, unmoved expression wavered between the other two. Cloud turned his attention back to Fenrir, placing the two sword pieces in compartments on his bike. He sighed and shot Leon a glance, their eyes meeting briefly for a second.
“Obviously,” said Cloud. “I told you I was going for a walk.”
“That was yesterday, and you took Fenrir without telling anyone.”
“You saw me take her.”
“You’re missing the point, Cloud.”
“Then what is it the point?”
Cloud wasn’t sure why he was snapping at him. Perhaps it was the emotions running fast and thick through his system. He couldn’t have controlled his mouth if he tried. He knew it was unfair to take this unforeseeable turn of events out on Zack. He wasn’t even unhappy Zack was back, but now, essentially, he had two boyfriends, one of which he had to hurt, and this was why Cloud pushed away people in the first place. It never turned out well in the end. Look at what had just happened to Riku.
Zack didn’t answer. Instead, he actually gave Leon an uneasy glance. Cloud almost snickered at the hesitant look in Zack’s eyes when he managed to figure out what it was all about. He didn’t recognize him. It had been so long . . .
“Who’s your friend?” said Zack.
Leon’s eyes slightly widened, just enough for Cloud to notice, but not enough for Zack to catch on. This time Cloud actually did snicker.
“Is he serious?” said Leon.
“I think he is,” said Cloud.
Zack looked between them as if trying to figure something out. His face was screwed in concentration. Then his face changed to something that might have been anxiety if SOLDIER hadn’t beaten that emotion out of all their First Class elite.
“You’re not . . . Riku? Are you?”
This time Leon actually laughed, too.
“Definitely not,” said Leon.
“He wishes,” said Cloud.
“What?”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Riku thinks you’re super sexy. If it weren’t for me, he’d totally have sex with you. He made me a point to tell me all about it when I went to see him.”
Leon snickered.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. He just likes to get you riled up. He’s got a sick sense of humor like that.”
“Well it worked.”
“I’m missing something,” said Zack.
“Yes, you are,” said Leon.
“Come on, Zack,” said Cloud. “You remember Squall, don’t you?”
“Do not call me that. It’s Leon now.”
“He doesn’t know that.”
“Well now he does.”
“Still think Leon Leonheart sounds stupid.”
“I don’t really care what you think.”
“Did I go into detail about Ascalon and Sidewinder yet?”
“Choke and die.”
“Wait,” said Zack. He walked farther into the church this time, hesitation gone, and peered closely down at Leon. “Squall? Squall Leonheart?”
“For the love of . . .” said Leon. “Now look what you did!”
Cloud snickered.
“He prefers Leon,” said Cloud.
“What . . .” said Zack. “I haven’t seen you since . . .”
“Yeah,” said Leon. “It’s been a long time.”
Cloud smiled and glanced up from Fenrir to take in the scene before him. It had been a long time. When was it last just him, Zack, and Leon? Almost ten years, not since they were kids. Still, this felt so normal. Maybe it was because he was used to Riku being the third addition to their friendship these days, but Zack was so different from Riku that Cloud suspected it was just Zack. He fell easily back into the fold despite the more awkward points of the situation. It was nice.
“What are you doing here?” said Zack.
“Cloud called me in hysterics freaking out about you being back from the dead. I’m here for moral support.”
Cloud shot Leon a grateful smile, but when Leon’s eyes caught his, Cloud’s smile fell away. Apparently Cloud was getting ahead of himself; Zack did not fall as easily back in the fold for everyone. Some moral support Leon was going to be. His voice was confident and casual, and even his body language was relaxed, but there was something not right in his eyes and the setting his lips had taken. Cloud wondered if maybe Leon was taking this Zack resurrection just as bad if not worse than Cloud himself. Zack looked far worse off and awkward looking down at Leon who hadn’t even bothered to stand.
“Yeah, I heard you were close again,” said Zack. “I think it’s really great.”
Leon nodded.
“It is. He’s trouble and pretty helpless, but he’s so good to laugh at that you just have to forgive him.”
Zack laughed.
“Sounds like Spiky.”
“Shut up, Leon. You say that like you aren’t trouble,” said Cloud. “And your demands that I can’t meet? They’re unreasonable.”
Leon looked at Cloud.
“I asked you to hit a nail with a hammer.”
“And for me, that’s unreasonable.”
Leon shrugged.
“Touché.”
“Yeah, right. So you can just stop broadcasting how I’m helpless to everyone.”
“I do not broadcast.”
“I can tell absolutely nothing has changed between you two,” said Zack.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Cloud.
“You always bickered like this. The biggest difference is you haven’t made Squally cry yet.”
Cloud snickered.
“Cloud did not make me cry. He is pitiful and incompetent, and my name is Leon.”
“Sure it is, Squally.”
“Squally . . .” said Cloud, still snickering. “I forgot you called him that.”
“My name is Leon!”
“I know it is, kiddo,” said Zack. He winked at Cloud. “Just go along with whatever he says. We wouldn’t want to confuse him.”
Leon glared the kind of glare that would make Yuffie shut up. Zack seemed unconcerned.
“Why the hell are you picking on me? Don’t you have better things to do now that you’re back from the dead?”
Zack appeared to ponder this for a moment and then shook his head.
“Not really. I’m sorry, kiddo. Did I hurt your feelings?”
“Don’t call me kiddo!”
“Still gets bent of shape easy, too . . .”
“And the tables get turned,” said Cloud. “It’s about time. I was starting to think I might have to spend the rest of my life with Leon and Riku ganging up on me.”
Zack’s smile became a little less joyous, a little more closed off at the mention of Riku, but it didn’t falter completely. Cloud noticed this, his laughter quieting. He tried to turn over the thousand things he might say to rectify the situation in his head, but nothing came. Zack fixed his glance on Leon, avoiding Cloud’s eye.
“It’s good to know someone kept Cloud grounded in my absence,” said Zack. “Unfortunately the same can’t be said for you, Squally.”
Leon rolled his eyes.
“Why do you insist on harassing me?”
“Because you were the baby.”
“Yuffie was the baby.”
“Yuffie was badass. You were a wimp.”
“Why do I not remember this?” said Cloud.
“Cause you were the one who always made him cry? Maybe you’re blocking it out.”
“If I made him cry, why does he gang up on me?”
“Revenge,” said Leon. He was still glaring. “Enough of this. You came here for a reason, didn’t you?”
Zack was still grinning as he turned his attention back to Cloud.
“Yeah. Tifa wanted me to track Spiky down. She’s been worried since you took off with Fenrir that you might have run into Kadaj and his gang. She even called Reno in case you headed over to Healen.”
“What the hell is Healen?”
“That’s what I said. Glad to know I’m not the only one who missed a lot.”
“I’ve been in Hollow Bastion.”
“And Olympus Coliseum,” said Leon. “And in Traverse Town. And the World that Never Was. And on your Gummi.”
“I get around a lot, okay? That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Zack. “It’s some new town, I guess. Never heard of it before, anyway, and I heard a lot in SOLDIER. They’ve got some Geostigma Sanatorium there. Anyway, that’s where Reno is. Obviously you didn’t go there . . .”
“Obviously. I haven’t even been in touch with Reno yet.”
“You’ll get on that when you’re ready, but I really should be convincing you to go back to Tifa’s. The kids are worried, too . . .”
At the mention of the kids Cloud hung his head. It had been selfish to take off like that. When it was just Tifa in the picture . . . Marlene and Denzel shouldn’t be worried about him. They were just kids, and he was the grown up here. It should’ve been the other way around.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
Cloud closed the compartments on Fenrir, hiding away the last pieces of First Tsurugi. Leon stood, brushing off his leather pants as if this were the final signal they were leaving.
“Listen . . .” Zack spared Leon a glance before crossing close to Cloud. “I know this is hard for you, too. I know you were there when it happened. This was probably the last thing you ever expected.”
“It was just hard getting over you. I mean . . . I was there. I saw you die, and I had to get over failing you on top of losing my boyfriend. Now that I’ve actually moved on . . .”
“I get it. If our positions were reversed, I would expect you to understand, too. I don’t want to make this any harder on either one of us.”
“Neither do I.”
“Just know that whatever Tifa might think should happen or what I would like to happen, I get it. You have a new boyfriend, and I understand that. I just hope he knows how lucky he is.”
“I have full confidence that he does,” said Leon, walking up to Cloud’s side. Cloud managed to give him half a smile.
“I hope so,” said Cloud.
“Things are just messed up with him right now.”
Zack frowned.
“Why? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”
Cloud laughed without mirth in an exasperated sort of way. He shook his head.
“Yeah. Something’s always wrong with Riku.”
“Yeah . . . Tifa told me about the realm of darkness debacle.”
“Did she?”
“Why don’t we talk about this later,” said Leon. “Give Cloud time to sort out his thoughts, huh?”
“You, too,” said Cloud. “I still need to know about that phone call.”
“And I will tell you once we get Tifa’s verbal lashing out of the way.”
“I can know about this, too, right?” said Zack. “I’m not out of the loop now just because I was dead or me and Spiky broke up or anything am I?”
Leon grinned.
“You can be there for the depressing, monumental Riku conversation if you really like,” said Leon.
“Just be forewarned it will be depressing and monumental,” said Cloud.
“And you might feel you’ve gathered a thousand reasons to take back what you said about understanding Cloud has a new boyfriend.”
“It won’t matter what you think, though, because I won’t listen. I love him, and I’m not going to break up with him. We promised not to let this affect the way we feel about each other.”
“Oh, really? Why don’t I know about this?”
“Why do you need to know about it? What are you? Our relationship guru?”
“Yes, and it’s not my fault. You put me there all the way back in Olympus Coliseum. You’re telling me about this.”
“We also talked about commitment.”
“You are so telling me about this.”
“I will. After Tifa’s verbal lashing, right?”
“Right.”
“Do I get to hear about this, too?” said Zack. “Or is that too much?”
“If you really want to know,” said Cloud.
“Hey, just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean I don’t take a serious interest in your life. I fully intend on meeting your little Riku and giving him the talk.”
“I’m not sure whether I have to be there for that, or it’s just something I never even want to hear about,” said Leon.
“You and me both,” said Cloud.
“What?” said Zack. “You don’t think he’ll like me?”
“Definitely not,” said Leon.
“I think he will,” said Cloud. “After a month or so.”
“Yeah. Once he gets past the fact that it’s Zack.”
“He felt threatened by you even in your death.”
Zack raised his eyebrows.
“No wonder you’re freaking out so much. Here I thought I was just that repulsive to you.”
“No. I’m glad you’re back. It just . . . it’s hard, and Riku’s going to lose his mind over this, especially after what happened to him.”
“Which I still don’t know about,” said Leon.
“I know. You will. Be patient.”
Leon grumbled.
“Well . . . I’ve got my bike outside,” said Zack. “Ready to head back to Tifa’s?”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Leon? You coming with me or Zack?”
“I’ve already debased myself to riding with you,” said Leon. “I don’t need to add Zack to the list.”
“Thanks. I feel loved.”
“Sorry, Cloud, but the idea of clinging to you on your sexed up motorcycle just doesn’t do it for me.”
“Riku would like it.”
“Riku likes pretty much anything to do with you.”
“He does, doesn’t he?”
“This Riku conversation later is going to be a little harder to hear than I initially anticipated,” said Zack as Cloud climbed back on Fenrir. “I will take comfort in his feeling threatened. Is it wrong I kind of enjoy it?”
“What?” said Leon. “That Riku feels threatened by you?”
“Yes, that.”
“I think that’s a perfectly normal response.”
Cloud shrugged and nodded.
“Makes me feel bad, but yeah . . .”
“You gotta stop that shit,” said Leon. “It doesn’t help anyone.”
“He’s right,” said Zack.
“Thank you, voices of reason. Can we get going now?”
Zack laughed and waved Cloud off as he walked back to the church entrance. Leon climbed on the back of Fenrir behind Cloud.
“This is going to work out okay, right?” said Cloud.
Leon patted his shoulder.
“Yes. Zack will get over it, Riku will accept it, and Zack’s interest in your relationship is a good sign that he’s willing to see you with someone else. It’s going to be hard, and he’s going to wish you’d just drop Riku, but he’s trying to make an effort. You have to give it time.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes. Now go, because I wasn’t kidding earlier. Riding on your bike with you like you fucking girlfriend freaks me out.”
“You’re such a good friend, Lee.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
Cloud laughed as he turned the key, revved the engine, and drove from the church in the direction of Tifa’s place in Edge.
~*~
Zack was waiting outside when Cloud pulled Fenrir into the garage. Leon and he dismounted and headed back outside, meeting up with Zack before attempting to go inside.
“I’ll buffer for you, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” said Zack. “Tifa is really unhappy with you right now.”
“What else is new?” said Leon. “Tifa’s always unhappy with Cloud.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “What’s that about, anyway? It’s like she thinks she’s my mother or something.”
“I think this time it’s because you ran out yesterday, took off with your bike without telling anyone, gave no indication of where you were going, never came back, and on top of it all there’s three mini-Sephiroths looking for you. Maybe Sephiroth himself, at that,” said Zack.
“She worries about you,” said Leon.
“It’s not like I can’t take care of myself,” said Cloud. He frowned, glaring at some point beyond Zack of no significance.
“You had no weapon,” said Zack.
“I do now.”
“Please don’t get him started,” said Leon.
Cloud chose to ignore Leon’s statement for now. He was sure that in the course of Leon’s stay there would be more than enough ample opportunities to retaliate and defend his honor. Instead he focused on the building, eyeing it up as if entering would be the source of his demise. Cloud shook his head.
“I should’ve never come back here.”
Zack actually laughed.
“Tifa isn’t that bad.”
“Oh, yes, she is. Leon, you’re my second in command. If she tries to make me cry, it’s your job to eat her again.”
Leon rolled his eyes.
“I do not eat her.”
“You so ate her at the bonfire; it was almost funny.”
“You guys had a bonfire?” said Zack. “When?”
“Last fall,” said Leon.
“I can’t believe I missed that.”
“You miss a lot when you’re dead.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
“Cloud?”
Cloud’s head snapped away from the house and turned toward Leon.
“What?”
“Are you going to go in or what?”
“I’m still debating.”
“I can’t go in until Spiky does,” said Zack. “Tifa will eat me if I walk in there without him.”
Leon looked between Zack and Cloud. He growled and pushed past them toward the door.
“Where are you going?” said Cloud.
“I’m not standing out here all day with you two idiots. Tifa is not scary, and I’m not going to cower by her door abetting your fears.”
“Does he know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Tifa’s punches?” said Zack as Leon wrenched open the door and stepped inside. He didn’t bother to shut it.
“I don’t think so.”
“Think we should go save him?”
“It would be the honorable thing to do.”
“Since when are we honorable, though?”
“You make a good point. However, once Tifa knows Leon’s here and I’m still hiding outside, the verbal lashing is going to be so much worse.”
“Good point.”
Zack and Cloud considered each other for a second. A soft, almost affectionate smile crossed Zack’s lips and Cloud tried not to shift too much, forced himself not to look away and make this awkward again. He returned the gesture with as much of a smile as he could muster, which might have looked like a grimace, but Zack either didn’t notice or attributed it to whatever was awaiting Cloud inside. Cloud nodded.
“Let’s get this over with then,” said Cloud.
“After you.”
Cloud regarded Zack a second longer and then strode to the open door, mindful to keep his shoulders squared and head high. This confrontation with Tifa after he just took off yesterday was something like going into battle. Cloud had gone into too many battles to not know that any show of his weaknesses should be left at the door. As many as he could hide there, anyway, because he had a lot of them, and Tifa’s arsenal had a surprisingly broad range.
“Tifa!” said Zack. “I’m back, and I’ve got Spiky in tow!”
Tifa walked out from the back with a dish and towel in hand. Leon walked out behind her. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the doorway, and nodded at Cloud.
“Tifa’s so pleased to see me,” he said.
“I was just surprised!” said Tifa. “Don’t make me throw this at you.”
She brandished the dish at him.
“We really missed something there,” said Cloud.
“And this time I wasn’t even dead,” said Zack.
“No, you really didn’t,” said Leon. “Just Tifa barking at me about what the hell I was doing here, and ‘Don’t you have a restoration to take care of?’”
He said the last part in a high-pitched, snappy tone. Tifa spun around and dropped the hand holding the towel to her side. The cloth actually slapped against her leg.
“Was that supposed to be me?”
“No, of course not.”
“I do not sound like that.”
Leon shook his head.
“Of course you don’t.”
Tifa glared at him and turned her face back to Zack and Cloud. Over her shoulder, Leon nodded. He mouthed something that looked like, ‘Yes, she does.’ Zack snorted.
Tifa sighed. She placed the dish on the bar counter and touched a hand to her forehead. Cloud shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“So . . .” said Cloud. “If there’s nothing else . . . I mean . . . So where did you want me to sleep?”
Tifa glanced up. Her eyes were livid.
“Where . . .? Are you kidding? Where the hell have you been?!”
Cloud shrugged.
“Out?”
“He slept on the Gummi ship,” said Zack.
“We checked the Gummi,” said Tifa.
“I was overwhelmed, okay?” said Cloud. “I called Leon and he told me to stay on the Gummi and not go anywhere until he could call me back so I did. He showed up. We went and got me a new sword, and then we went to the church in the Sector Six Slums. That’s it. I didn’t see Sephiroth. I didn’t meet up with Kadaj and his gang. I hardly had any human contact.”
“What the hell do you call me?” said Leon.
“You don’t count,” said Zack.
“I just needed to clear my head,” said Cloud.
Tifa sighed. She stared down at the bar counter for a long while and then she glanced up to meet his eyes.
“I’ve moved Marlene into Denzel’s room. Zack’s staying in Marlene’s, and I don’t have any extra rooms, so you’re going to have to share with Zack. Think you can handle that?”
Cloud gritted his teeth.
“Yeah. I think I’ll manage.”
“Well how am I supposed to know, Cloud? After the way you just took of yesterday . . .”
“It was a big shock,” said Zack. “I’m sure we’ll be okay bunking up, eh, grunt?”
Cloud glared.
“Don’t call me that. I always hated it when you called me that.”
“Now you know how I feel,” said Leon.
“And now that you’ve drawn attention to yourself . . .” said Tifa. She placed on hand on her hip and spun toward Leon. “Vincent should be home tonight and I’m not sharing with you, so as long as you’re here, you’re going to have to share with the moron twins. Have fun with that.”
“Oh come on,” said Leon. “I wanted to bunk with Marlene and Denzel.”
“Why am I a moron now?” said Zack. “You I get, but what did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything,” said Tifa.
Cloud snorted.
“Yeah. You just are a moron.”
“Let me just say I really feel the love in this room right now,” said Zack. He patted his chest. “I mean really. Right here in my heart. We should have a group hug or something.”
“Hug me and I kill you,” said Leon.
“I don’t think he’s kidding,” said Cloud.
“Now this is what I’m talking about,” said Zack. “I feel so close to you all. Come on Squally, grunt. I’ll show you to our room and we can start planning our slumber party.”
Zack actually took off up the staircase. Leon quirked one eyebrow and directed it at Cloud.
“That’s Zack’s way of getting you out of the room before I think of anything else to say to you,” said Tifa.
“Ah,” said Cloud. “Right on that.”
“Was he always like that?” said Leon, joining Cloud on the stairs. “Or is this just . . . his brain . . . is it scrambled or something since he died?”
Cloud shook his head.
“Nope. Zack was always like this.”
“I remember him being . . .”
“Cooler?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s almost tragic how far our heroes fall when we grow up and realize they’re a bunch of dorks.”
Leon stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at Cloud. He nodded.
“You’re right. I used to look up to you, too.”
“Oh shut up.”
“Really feel the love in this room,” said Zack from a door somewhere to the left. “It just warms my heart.”
~*~
There were two beds in the room designated for Zack, Cloud, and Leon to share. Leon was the first to point out this problem, and when Zack and Cloud decided that Leon would be best off sharing with Cloud, he bitched for three full minutes about personal space before he insisted on sleeping on the floor. He got halfway through tearing the blankets off the bed before Zack actually kicked him in the foot, mussed up his long, sable hair, and told him to grow up.
“I know Spiky’s sexy, but I have faith in your powers of self-control,” said Zack.
“Why don’t you two share?” said Leon. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
The twin glares he received were enough to convince Leon of the sheer idiocy that such a statement suggested. Leon, however, in a seeming battle against giving Zack the satisfaction of winning (because, by this point, Cloud was sure Leon would ordinarily give in), continued his attempts at setting up a makeshift bed on the floor. He would only be here for a few days, he protested. He needed his personal space when he slept. He couldn’t take the threat he might wake up next to Cloud having one of those dreams about Riku.
Unfortunately for Leon, Zack did not seem to notice that Leon was just being stubborn (or maybe he had and was just genuinely enjoying pissing Leon off). Every time Leon dropped his pillow on the floor, Zack returned it to the bed. When Leon dragged his sheets to the floor and turned back for the pillow again, Zack collected the blankets together and dropped them on the bed. Cloud sat on Zack’s bed watching this exchange, trying not to laugh, as they worked around each other in circles, undoing everything the other had just accomplished.
“Lee, why don’t you just give up?” said Cloud after the eighth time this cycle occurred. “I’m really not that bad.”
“This is principle now.”
“I’m just going to keep picking it all up,” said Zack. “My persistence is almost unheard of. You might as well give in.”
“I’m not giving you the satisfaction, Fair.”
“Isn’t he cute trying to prove how grown up he’s become?”
“Why are you torturing me like this?”
“It’s a big brother’s prerogative.”
“You’re not my brother!”
“That’s not what you used to say.”
“I was ten!”
Cloud snickered.
“You have no idea how much fun it is watching you get tortured for a change,” said Cloud.
“That’s enough commentary from the peanut gallery, Strife.”
“He’s getting serious, Zack. Might want to back off.”
“Not in this lifetime. I have seniority whether I died or not. Squally’s just going to have to accept that.”
“Stop calling me Squally!”
“But you look so precious when you blush like that. Doesn’t he look precious, Spiky?”
“Adorable.”
“I hate you both.”
“Just let him win,” said Cloud. “I’ll help you get him next time. It’s not like I’m going to hog the covers or anything.”
“Yeah,” said Zack. “I’m the blanket hog. Isn’t that right, Chocobo-head?”
“Whatever . . . I can’t take this anymore, anyway.”
Leon collapsed on the bed next to Cloud. Zack did a little victory dance and dumped all of the blankets back on the bed. He sat on top of them.
“And he doesn’t even make the bed . . .” said Leon.
“Why should I? You made the mess.”
Leon sighed.
“So I guess we have our routine ‘Riku is in trouble’ talk to go over, don’t we?” said Leon.
“Leon is our relationship therapist,” said Cloud.
“I’m considering charging a fee.”
“You would never. You love us both too damn much to let us abuse each other as we do.”
“This is true.”
“Besides, if you want to be my best friend, you have to take all the bullshit that comes with it.”
“Why is it that’s all you seem to come with?”
“Because it’s Spiky,” said Zack. “He’s always been full of drama. I’ve never met anyone else with so many issues.”
Cloud raised an eyebrow.
“Oh really?”
“Really. Okay, well, there is Sephiroth, but he doesn’t really count. He’s so messed up I can’t even properly touch on that.”
Cloud shrugged.
“Good point.”
“So . . . yeah. Let’s hear what’s going on with your boy-toy. I want to at least be in the loop if I can’t be the boyfriend.”
“And let’s be direct here,” said Leon. “What the hell happened to his voice?”
Cloud sighed. He dropped his head in his hands.
“Can’t we ease into this or something?”
“No,” said Zack and Leon. They smirked at each other.
“Fine,” said Cloud. “Riku . . .”
“Does it have to do with the darkness?” said Zack. “I heard he was in the realm of darkness.”
“Yeah,” said Leon. “What did Tifa tell you?”
Zack shrugged.
“Cloud was dating some kid who was fucked up in the darkness. I hear he’s sixteen, right?” Cloud and Leon nodded. “Way to pick ‘em young, by the way, Spiky.”
“You do know I have a name, don’t you?” said Cloud.
“Yeah. What do you mean?”
“Chocobo-head. Spiky. Grunt. My name is Cloud.”
“I know that, but Cloud’s just not fun to say. I could call you Cloudy. Cloudster. Oh! Cloudykins!”
Cloud blinked.
“Yeah. Chocobo-head works.”
Zack smiled.
“I knew you’d see things my way.”
“Off the subject . . .” said Leon.
“Oh, right!” said Zack. “Okay . . . well. I don’t know. Tifa just said he was really messed up. He was in the realm of darkness. Something about Keyblades and he’s one of the wielders, but he was caught up with the bad guys. Got possessed. I don’t know. She kept talking about how she doubted it would last with you both involved with the darkness and that now that I’m back, she hopes we get back together. Obviously that’s not going to happen . . .”
“They’re really good for each other,” said Leon. He gave Cloud a wry smile. “Even if they do need serious amounts of therapy.”
“Spiky would need therapy either way.”
“I love you both so much,” said Cloud.
“We know.”
“It sounds like you’re pretty caught up to speed, then,” said Leon. It seemed to Cloud he was the only one without a wandering attention span. “If you have any questions just ask, okay?”
“No problem.”
“Okay. So . . . What the hell is going on?”
“I told you . . . I can’t say anything.”
“I’m getting kind of tired of that excuse. When I talked to Riku he just didn’t sound right.”
“What happened there? Really. He said he acted like an asshole, but I couldn’t really follow what he was going off about.”
Leon sighed.
“I’m lost,” said Zack.
“Riku was living with us in Hollow Bastion,” said Leon.
“Right. Tifa told me.”
“But he senses things . . . it’s because of the Keyblade, I think. And there were these weird creatures popping up around Hollow Bastion . . .”
“Nobodies,” said Cloud.
“Huh?” said Zack.
“They’re Nobodies. When someone gets turned into a Heartless, the Nobody is the empty shell that’s leftover. That’s what Roxas was. Sora’s Nobody.”
“Sora’s the kiddie Keyblade master no one remembers, right?”
“Yep. Sora has been asleep all this time with his memories taken apart because of something that happened in Castle Oblivion.”
“Where Riku was between the realm of darkness and Hollow Bastion,” said Leon.
“Yeah, Tifa went over that. Said that’s why no one can remember the kid. She told me a bit about this Organization XIII, but not much. I don’t really understand what they are.”
“Group of powerful Nobodies, and that’s about all anyone knows right now,” said Cloud. “Roxas was in their ranks.”
“How does Sora have a Nobody, though?” said Zack. “He’s a Keyblade master. He couldn’t have been a Heartless . . .”
“I don’t remember, but I’m sure that once we actually remember the kid . . .”
“Ah, yeah. Good point.”
“So, anyway, Riku took off because the piece of Ansem in his heart was bothering him,” said Cloud. “He just knew something was starting to happen so he left. He ended up running into this DiZ guy he met in Castle Oblivion, who told him about Organization XIII and Roxas. So now that he had a goal, he was on his way again.”
“To the World that Never Was,” said Leon.
“Which happens to be where Organization XIII’s stronghold is. He had to obtain Roxas-Sora’s Nobody-for DiZ to wake Sora back up because Naminé-that’s this witch girl who took Sora’s memories apart in the first place-she can’t chain everything back together without that piece of him. I went after him, and then . . .”
“That’s as much as I know,” said Leon. “Except something that Riku is horribly embarrassed about happened and he wants no one to know what that thing is. I tried to call him because we’re friends and I’m worried about him, but . . .”
“But he was horrible, or so he says,” said Cloud. “Actually, he said he freaked out, and was horrible, and now he’s freaking out because he has to make this up to you before his pride destroys everything like it did with Sora last time.”
“He was defensive,” said Leon. “He was confused and defensive. Reminded me more of a scared animal backed into a corner than anything. I don’t hold anything he said against him. I just want to know what happened so I can understand.”
“It’s nothing new,” said Cloud. “I mean . . . it is new. It’s just because of the piece of Ansem in his heart still. It would’ve never happened if he hadn’t been possessed. He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m incredibly proud of him, but I hate how it turned out. Especially for him because now . . .”
“Why don’t you just tell us, Cloud? I’ll pretend to be surprised when he tells me,” said Leon. “Besides, it’s better than Zack thinking he’s gotta steal you back before Riku only makes your connections with the darkness worse.”
“He’s got a point there,” said Zack. “This is just sounding all bad right now. I know he can’t be too terrible because you like him, and you have excellent taste if I say so myself, but I’m just not seeing anything good about him.”
“He’s the strongest person I know,” said Cloud. He took a deep breath.
“You said by the time you got there he already fought Roxas and lost. Badly.”
“Roxas wasn’t coming quietly, I take it,” said Zack.
“Not at all. When I found him . . . yeah. He’d already tried to fight Roxas, but he lost. Roxas is amazing.”
“He reminds Cloud of Sephiroth.”
Zack blew out a low whistle.
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Riku just didn’t stand a chance. He had to resort to using the darkness just to avoid being killed.”
Leon sat up a little at this new piece of information.
“I know you said he had to use darkness to beat him, but you didn’t say anything about that first fight,” said Leon.
“It gets worse from here on out, trust me,” said Cloud. “He had to win to help awaken Sora, but Roxas was just too good. He let out just enough so that Roxas didn’t kill him, but when that happened . . . All the dark powers he has are tied to that piece of Ansem. By the time I got to him, his eyes were already orange.”
“You just totally lost me,” said Zack.
Cloud swallowed.
“He was possessed. When Ansem was killed, he still had Riku’s body. Riku was in the realm of darkness. His heart overcame it, but he wasn’t strong enough to take his body back. It only returned after Ansem was defeated right before they shut that door to darkness. The piece of Ansem in his heart and the powers are connected, so when he let out some of the power . . .”
“He let out some of Ansem’s appearance, too,” said Leon, releasing a long breath.
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah. And until he can defeat that final piece any dark powers he uses . . .”
“Are just going to let it out a little more,” said Leon. “Only . . .”
“Only to capture Roxas he had to take full advantage of those powers he still had lying dormant in his heart. So . . . there was no other option. I was there. I couldn’t do anything to help him. I just had to watch it all, and Roxas wasn’t backing down. Riku was taking such a beating, but without Roxas . . .”
“No Sora,” said Leon. “And with no Sora . . .”
“The worlds are fucked?” said Zack.
“Yeah. So . . . Yeah. He chose to use the resources he had, and now . . .”
“And now he looks and sounds just like Ansem,” said Leon.
“All in the name of Sora’s reawakening,” said Cloud. “And it doesn’t end there because now he’s in Twilight Town watching over Roxas while Sora’s being restored. He has full intentions of guiding Sora and watching over Organization XIII once he’s awake. His life is just completely on hold until this is finished.”
“And he doesn’t want Sora to know,” said Leon.
“Absolutely not. The last time he saw Sora he was on the other side of the door to the realm of darkness. He does not want Sora seeing him again for the first time after all that still walking in the darkness, completely encased in it.”
Leon closed his eyes. His hands clasped, he brought them to his forehead, and his thumb worried the skin between his eyebrows.
“As far as Sora is concerned, I know nothing more than he’s ever told me about Riku. I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard . . .”
Cloud met Zack’s eyes. Zack shrugged.
“Sounds like you’ve got a fucking martyr on your hands there.”
“He feels he’s got to atone,” said Cloud. “For everything he did wrong. And like I said, I’m so proud of him for the choices he’s made, but . . .”
“But you hate seeing him go through this,” said Zack. “I get you.”
“He’s showering in the dark. This appearance is just a constant reminder of everything wrong he’s done. He can’t even stand to look at himself. He doesn’t even really want me to know. He talks about it a little, but he doesn’t want to talk much because of the voice. He certainly doesn’t want to see me, and . . .” Cloud took a deep breath. He focused his gaze on the floor. “We promised in the World that Never Was that if this happened-we knew it might come to it-we wouldn’t let it tear us apart. But now . . . I’m almost happy when we don’t speak because . . .”
“Because . . .” said Leon. Cloud cut him off.
“Let me finish this. I have to say it myself.” Cloud took a deep breath again. “Because I don’t really want to face it. I don’t want it to be real. I know it’s selfish, but I want my Riku back. It’s not his voice. The last time I saw him . . . I know it’s him, but I have to remind myself that, and I don’t want to have to. I try to act like nothing’s changed when we talk because nothing really has . . . I love him more than ever, but . . . but it hurts. I haven’t called him. I hope he doesn’t call me. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I have no doubt that he’ll overcome this,” said Leon. “I never had any doubt that he would beat that piece of Ansem, and I’m still sure he will.”
“I know he will. I just don’t know how to handle it in the meantime.”
“Just give it time. Listen to him. Just be there for him.”
Cloud nodded.
“All I have to say is it’s no wonder he’s a Keyblade wielder,” said Zack.
“Why’s that?” said Cloud.
“I don’t think any of us could handle all of what that kid’s been through quite as well.”
“He’s showering in the dark, Zack. He won’t even look in a mirror. He’s beating himself up every day, and I’m only making it harder by letting it get to me.”
“Yeah, but he’s still doing something. He’s still trying to help that Sora kid out, isn’t he? He’s not just sitting around brooding for awhile before someone forces him to take action. He went and did that on his own.”
Leon raised his eyebrows. Cloud’s gaze dropped to the floor.
“He’s right,” said Leon, shrugging. “Can’t argue with that.”
Cloud nodded. He raised his eyes to look at Zack and gave him a sad smile.
“He’s the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
“Hey, Zack, say something stupid,” said Leon.
“What? Why?”
“Because I feel like I’m suffocating in the depression here.”
“No way. I’m saving all the wisecracks for when Spiky tells us about their commitment conversation.”
Leon’s eyes brightened.
“Oh, yeah. You promised us one of those, too.”
Cloud laughed a little.
“It really wasn’t that funny. I told you it was in the World that Never Was. He challenged me with his Ansem orange eyes.”
“Challenged you?” said Leon. “Come again?”
“Yeah. He was blindfolded most of the time because he couldn’t bear to look at his eyes like that, but he took it off when we started talking about commitment. He said if I could talk about it with his eyes like that, then it could be a little more real.”
“Sounds like Riku.”
“I really want to hate this kid but I just can’t,” said Zack.
“You’d love him,” said Leon. “He managed to drag Cloud to a club for New Year’s last year. This is also known as the Christmas Incident wherein Cloud went crazy from jealousy and freaked out about how I was getting into their relationship, the way I look at Riku, and insisted I was trying to steal his boyfriend. Make a lot of jokes about it. Cloud likes them.”
Zack snickered.
“That was ages ago!” said Cloud. “Did you really have to tell him about that?”
“You should have been there,” said Leon. “The look in his eyes was classic. I swear he was plotting my murder.”
Zack was full out laughing by now.
“Spiky, I never took you for the jealous type.”
Cloud muttered under his breath. Leon snickered and nudged Cloud in the arm.
“Riku’s also really talented at trash-talking Cloud into the ground. If you ever want to gang up on someone, Riku’s the guy to get in on it. He was insulting Yuffie by the end of the first day, and that was his first encounter with the whole crew slinging verbal assaults around. Cloud even embarrassed the hell out of him talking about their reunion sex, which, if I’m correct in assuming, was probably only the second time Riku ever even had sex.”
“Impressive. I’ll have to meet him first, of course, and naturally I begrudge him for getting Chocobo-head all to himself, but I can’t really blame him. I was dead. I think I’m going to like him, though. I say we keep him and get rid of Spiky.”
“That’s just what I’ve been thinking.”
“Riku will be so happy to know that despite the ugly Ansem thing, you still like him more,” said Cloud. “And that’s coming from you and my ex-boyfriend.”
Leon directed a smile at Cloud for a second and then it dropped. He stared.
“Riku is going to have a nervous breakdown,” said Leon.
“Why?” said Zack.
“Huh?” said Cloud.
“Zack. He’s still so wary about your feelings for him, and he was under the impression he was dead.”
Cloud nodded.
“No shit. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“He’d freak out anyway, but on top of this Ansem thing . . .”
“I know! How am I supposed to tell him this now? He might have been secure before when I told him I was with him now and I love him, but now? When he looks like Ansem? This is the absolute worst time to throw something like this on him.”
“You can’t keep it from him, though. You can’t lie to him.”
“I know. That’ll just make it worse.”
Leon frowned.
“Just be completely honest with him. Let him vent. Let him freak out. Just keep reassuring him that you aren’t going anywhere, and keep doing it. He needs that in the first place, but even when he calms down about it . . . Just keep reassuring him.”
Cloud nodded.
“I know. I know.”
“I can talk to him if you want,” said Zack. “Let him know I’ve been completely shot down. It feels great, by the way.”
Cloud sighed.
“I’m sorry. I know . . . No one’s ever going to replace you . . .”
“Let’s not torture yourselves over this, okay?” said Leon. “Zack was dead. You moved on after a lot of heartache. He knows this. He didn’t expect you not to move on. Riku just needs reassurance now more than ever. You need to keep your priorities in check. No one can afford to try and not hurt feelings right now.”
“He’s right,” said Zack. “I hate this. A lot. And it’s really hard to hear you talk about Riku, but I’ve gotta make jokes to make this a little easier, and eventually it just will be easier. I’ll move on from this. You need to stop worrying about it. Worry about Riku. Worry about Sephiroth.”
“Exactly,” said Leon. “And don’t just worry. Take an example from Riku here. Do something. Take care of Sephiroth. Let Riku know how important he is. Don’t concern yourself with hurting anyone’s feelings. Just be honest with everyone and yourself. It’s the only thing you can do not to lose your sanity. And as far as the two of you go, just work on your friendship. Try to be at peace with one another. Zack is making an excellent effort.”
“I am, aren’t I?” said Zack.
“Yes, you are. And Cloud, you’re doing really well, too, actually talking about Riku in front of Zack. You just have to keep this up when I’m not around.”
“I will,” said Cloud. “Or I’ll try, anyway.”
Leon nodded.
“Good.”
“Now what is this about commitment?” said Zack.
“Yeah, really,” said Leon. “What are we talking here? A nice little cottage, a dog, and two kids?”
“It wasn’t much,” said Cloud. His mind flitted back to the World that Never Was and that dingy house for a second. Riku was there in his mind, wearing that stupid cloak, and despite the orange eyes, squirming and smiling like this was the most difficult yet fantastic conversation he’d ever had. “We just decided that once Ansem and Sephiroth are finished with, he wants me to move to Destiny Islands with him because that’s where he’s got to finish school.”
Zack chuckled.
“Finish school, huh? Better get yourself a car. Don’t want to have to drive him to school on Fenrir. All the kids will make fun of him.”
“Shut up,” said Cloud. “It’s not like that. I won’t have to drive him to school. Besides, I think it’s a really good thing he wants to go back and finish up.”
“It is,” said Leon in a terse way that made Cloud suspect that he was trying not to laugh, too. “Was there anything else?”
“Not really. Just finishing school and everything. After that we’re going to decide from there.”
“Decide what?” said Zack. “What color you want the picket fence to be?”
Cloud smiled at the floor.
“No. When he finishes school . . .”
“Look at that face!” said Zack, howling with laughter. “Look at that smile!”
Leon snickered.
“When he finishes school what?” said Leon.
“When he finishes school we’re going to have the conversation again and . . . and I’m supposed to ask him.”
“Ask him what?” said Zack, grinning.
“You know what.”
Cloud glared.
“I know. I just want you to say it.”
“I’d like to hear this out of your mouth myself, because I honestly thought the day would never come,” said Leon.
Cloud huffed; a muscle in his cheek twitched.
“Ask him . . . you know . . . about commitment ceremonies . . . and stuff . . .”
Zack actually doubled over and rolled back into the messed up pile of blankets. Cloud grabbed a pillow from the bed and chucked it at him.
“It isn’t funny!” said Cloud.
“Coming from you it is,” said Leon.
“I love him, okay?”
“You’re going to ask him to marry you when he finishes high school,” said Zack in tears. “That’s classic!”
“He’s very mature for his age!” said Cloud.
At this, Leon burst into laughter, trying to hide his mouth behind his hand.
“You can have your reception in a playground!” said Zack. “We’ll all have to drink grape juice instead of alcohol! Wouldn’t want to corrupt the youth, after all.”
“I think the youth’s already corrupted,” said Leon. “You can hear it a block away.”
Cloud rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and shook his head.
“I hope you both suffer horrific deaths.”
“I already did!” said Zack. Leon now was almost in tears, too.
Cloud sighed. He looked from Zack to Leon, still shaking his head. At least this was a truce, right? The three of them were at ease. Leon knew about Riku, Zack was taking it better than he could have ever hoped (far better-or he was just really good at hiding it), and Tifa wasn’t about to murder him in his sleep. Riku would find out sooner or later, but Leon would be there for support, and Cloud knew all it would take was time and assurance until Riku no longer felt threatened by Zack’s sudden and unexpected presence. Having Leon say so was the greatest comfort he could ever ask for.
Things were bound to turn to shit again soon enough. There was still Reno to attend to. Kadaj and his gang. Sephiroth. All of that could wait, though. Right now things were as happy as they could ever be in Gaea. He passed a glance between Leon and Zack once again as the laughter died down and Zack began to hiccup.
“I love you both,” said Cloud. “I hate you, but I love you.”
Leon smirked.
“Well what’s not to like?” said Leon.
“I don’t know,” said Zack. “You have a sudden loathing for the name Squally these days.”
Leon bashed Zack on the head with the bed’s remaining pillow.
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 060/100 Complete.