[059.] Of What's Fair and What's Important
Title: Of What’s Fair and What’s Important
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [059.] Fun
Word Count: 5,072
Rating: R
Summary: Riku couldn’t help but feel bad for Roxas. It was all so unfair.
Disclaimer: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I’m sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let’s face it: I don’t even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there’s no proof of, because I’m deluded like that.
DiZ stared at the computer monitors long after Roxas returned home for the night. He searched the screens as if trying to find the missing piece to a calculated formula. Riku stood behind him, staring at the monitors but not really seeing, unsure of what to do. Should he wait to be dismissed? He assumed that if DiZ didn’t want him there, he would have been sent away by now. Should he say something? Offer any assistance he could provide, or was he supposed to just stand there as he was, waiting for DiZ to find whatever he searched for?
Adrenaline rushed through his veins, mingled with disappointment and shame over the Dusks’ appearance in the alternate Twilight Town. Riku felt so stupid having not noticed something was very wrong before it was too late. He was too preoccupied, slinging around insults at the Twilight Town inhabitants and brooding on his own mistakes that he went and made another. Since he was young, people always made off-hand comments about Riku’s tendency to get so wrapped up in himself that he never noticed anything else. These statements always stung, but this must have been what they meant. He did it with his family, Sora, Leon, Cloud, and now he was doing it to Roxas, and by extension, Sora again. Poor Sora always got hurt the most by Riku’s self-preoccupation. He was even doing it right now. Riku shook his head.
It felt like every other second that Riku demanded himself to pull it together. He was a fucking mess, falling apart every time something went wrong. His head and thoughts were scattered; this was no good. He couldn’t be like this. He needed to be more removed and less emotional. He needed to do anything that would keep his fucking head together before he wasn’t any good to anyone.
Riku tried to focus his eyes on the monitor, roaming over the screen for something-anything-that might be of use. Roxas was just fine, eating dinner, troubled by thoughts of the memory thief and the strange weapon, but there was no threat. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were just the same as always, troubled by nothing other than perhaps how strange Roxas had been today. Seifer was threatening some kid in the Sandlot for breaching on his territory. On the clock tower . . .
Wait. On the clock tower? Riku peered closer.
“DiZ, who’s that?”
Riku pointed to a spot on the largest monitor. DiZ followed his outstretched hand and stared. As they continued to watch, a group of Dusks flew in their strange, disjointed way to the top, more stolen photographs in their grasp. The man there took the pictures and turned them over.
“Photographs?” he said. “Why are the Dusks bringing me photographs?”
“Organization XIII,” said DiZ. He banged the keyboard.
It had to be. Couldn’t be anyone else if the man was in a league with the Dusks, not to mention the long, black cloak like the one Riku wore now was a dead giveaway. He hardly had time to marvel over the inconspicuousness of an organization that wore such blatant uniforms when the man pushed his hood back to reveal a head of the most blinding, ridiculously tall spiked red hair. Riku blinked. He looked so familiar. Where had he seen him before . . .?
“Axel,” said a soft, feminine voice, and Riku turned to see Naminé step up beside him. “He’s looking for Roxas.”
“I should’ve known better that to trust the Dusks with this,” said the man-Axel. “Oh, man. Xemnas is gonna kill me. Guess I gotta do this on my own. Now then . . . where’s the real thing hiding?”
“Who’s Xemnas?” said Riku.
“Another member of Organization XIII?” said DiZ.
“He’s their leader,” said Naminé. “Organization XIII’s Superior.” Riku glanced at her, frowning. She seemed to feel his hidden eyes on her, however, because Naminé looked up and gave him a soft smile. “I heard his name in Castle Oblivion when I was under Marluxia’s control. They were out to take over the Organization, remember?”
Riku did remember, now that she mentioned it, anyway. That was how this started back in Castle Oblivion when Naminé was forced to take apart Sora’s memories. That was where Riku had seen Axel before-in Naminé’s drawings scattered and hanging around her room. Riku looked back to the screen.
“So this Axel. . .”
“What can you tell us about him, Naminé?” said DiZ
“Sora met him in Castle Oblivion. I don’t know why he’s looking for Roxas, but if it’s on Xemnas’s orders, it can’t be a good thing. That and . . . he and Roxas were best friends. I think the last thing Axel probably wants is for Sora and Roxas to become whole again.”
“He’ll have to be stopped,” said DiZ.
“Is there anything I can do?” said Riku.
“Keep a close eye on Roxas. Head in tomorrow morning and get a good luck around. Keep the Keyblade by the data machine, and be prepared to head into any entry point at a moment’s notice. I’ll keep watch tonight. Naminé, you must work as quickly as possible.”
Naminé nodded. Her hand briefly touched Riku’s forearm and she headed back to the room where Sora slept.
”What should I do right now?” said Riku.
DiZ sighed.
“Rest. I fear tomorrow will be another busy one. I need you alert.”
Riku nodded. He spared one last glance to the monitor and watched as Axel disappeared from the system. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Riku doubted that sleep would come tonight, but even if he just lay staring at the ceiling, at least he was resting. That was all DiZ requested.
Riku turned and left the computer room.
~*~
Riku awoke, eyes still puffy and probably bloodshot, not the he’d look into a mirror to see if it was true. Riku avoided mirrors at all costs, and he really didn’t need one to know how terrible he looked, Ansem thing aside. He had fallen asleep, but only after staring blankly at the ceiling for hours, questions about Roxas and the Dusks running through his head. Then there was Axel, the member of Organization XIII he had to try and track down today. He had to infiltrate the system, keep an eye on Roxas and protect him . . . or something. When sleep did force itself upon his busy head, it was already late into the night, and Riku couldn’t have gotten more than three hours of rest.
He dressed silently, leaving his phone behind in the bedroom. He couldn’t afford any distractions today, especially not any selfish distractions regarding his strained relationships with his boyfriend and Leon. Roxas was in trouble; Riku needed to help him.
When he left the room, he was surprised to see Naminé standing at the door on the balcony that lead to the library and down into the computer room.
“Good morning, Riku,” she said, and offered a small smile. “How did you sleep?”
“Badly. Thought about Roxas, Axel, and the Dusks all night.”
“It’ll be all right. DiZ anticipated this.”
“I know he did. That’s why I had to keep watching the monitors, but I hoped . . .”
“No. I think he knew Organization XIII would find us. That’s why he had photographs scattered all across the town. It’s not like Roxas has been there long enough for them to actually be taken, but he specifically insisted there be photos of Roxas everywhere. I thought it was just to help integrate him, but now . . .”
Riku sighed and dropped his head. He wished DiZ would clue him into these things instead of leaving him in the dark. Yesterday could’ve gone so much better . . .
”Both are nothing but data to the Dusks,” he said, echoing DiZ’s statement. “They’ll never be able to tell the difference.”
“Right. So a member of Organization XIII would have to physically obtain Roxas, which is harder for them. We’re more likely to pick up on Axel’s presence than the Dusks. He’s a stronger, more powerful Nobody. Like me. Like Roxas. Just short of being a whole person. It’s harder to hide.”
“You’ve got a lot of work to do today, I guess.”
Naminé nodded.
“DiZ is already downstairs keeping an eye out in case Roxas wakes up before you get down there. He’s got breakfast with him. I’m going to see Sora.”
“Okay. Well . . .”
“If you need anything at all, just call on me, okay? Riku?”
It seemed like she purposefully said his name more than she needed to. Riku didn’t know why-maybe to keep reminding him who he was. Sometimes he almost forgot what happened to his appearance when she was around-so pure and sweet, always offering gentle touches to his arm and soft kisses to his cheek. Whenever he was ready to just throw the identity of Riku away, break up with Cloud, and settle that he was now Ansem, Naminé called him by his true name. She reminded him that it was his heart that mattered, and in his heart he would never stop being Riku.
It was both a wonderful and terrible thought.
“I will. Thanks.”
“We better go down. Axel’s trouble.” She laughed a little and shook her head. “He’s really not so bad, but . . . He’s feisty. Let’s just put it that way.”
Riku didn’t know whether to smile or frown at the way she spoke of him. It was almost fond, and now Riku was unsure of how he should deal with Axel if their paths cross. Naminé was an excellent judge of character, and if she thought Axel wasn’t so bad . . . but he was a member of Organization XIII. He was just a Nobody, not supposed to exist, but Naminé was a Nobody too, and she was wonderful.
Riku really hated this Nobody business. It was so confusing.
Naminé and Riku parted ways when they reached the computer room. DiZ was already at the computer, typing into the system, and he jerked his head toward the data machine.
“Eat now and go, or go now and eat when you return,” said DiZ.
“What? No ‘good morning’?” said Riku.
“Roxas is still asleep. You’ll want to get a start before he’s up and moving around.”
Riku glanced over DiZ’s shoulder to the monitor and there Roxas was, still fast asleep, dreaming of Sora and his adventures through the worlds with the Keyblade. He looked away quickly as the pain of Sora sleeping in that pod, not even a memory to those he loved too strong to bear this second. Roxas wouldn’t be allowed to exist anymore to set Sora right, and this was just . . . the worlds were so unfair.
“I’ll eat later.”
Riku stepped into the data machine and waited to be transported to the alternate Twilight Town.
He started in the Sunset Residential District and took a train back into the station. He walked through Twilight Town, the woods, and even the alternate mansion but there was no sign of Axel or the Dusks anywhere. Riku made it into the back alley and was about to head into the Sandlot when he heard footsteps and stopped.
“A Keyblade . . .”
Roxas. Riku stilled, hardly breathing as Roxas walked into view. He turned to see Roxas pick up a stick leaning against one of the buildings and brandish it about like he had done with the Kingdom Key just yesterday. So he was awake, and his thoughts still lingered on the strange events the day before. Not a surprise-he was Sora, and even if he weren’t, it wasn’t just a normal thing for a weapon that looked like a key to appear out of nowhere in your hands while you fight off strange, non-human creatures in white jumpsuits that call you their liege.
“What was that about?” said Roxas.
Still in his reverie, Riku broke from it as the stick flew across the open space. It smacked against his chest and hit the ground. Roxas turned.
Riku almost panicked for a second as Roxas faced him. He knew his face was hidden, and even if wasn’t, he didn’t look like himself. Roxas didn’t even remember being a member of the Organization so there was no way he could recognize him, but for a half-second Riku was sure he would know. He’d blame Riku for what was happening to him, claim he wasn’t Sora, and pull out both Oblivion and Oathkeeper before sending Riku to an early death. There was no recognition in Roxas’s eyes, though (of course there wasn’t).
Riku turned and headed toward the Sandlot before any recognition could happen. From behind, Roxas’s voice sounded again.
“Oh! Sorry . . . about that . . .”
Riku stood halfway down the stairs toward the Sandlot as Roxas’s footsteps faded away. He turned, walked back up, and grabbed the stick, smacking it against his own palm as Roxas had just done. He slid it into his pocket.
“No,” said Riku. “I’m the one who owes you the apology.”
~*~
There was no sign of Axel or the Dusks in the Sandlot, either, so Riku returned to the alternate Twilight Town mansion and waited for DiZ to transport him back to the real world. It took all of thirty seconds.
“Well?” said DiZ as Riku stepped from the data machine.
“No sign of Axel anywhere. I ran into Roxas.”
“I saw.”
“So what’s going on?”
“Roxas and his friends are eating sea-salt ice cream and having a sentimental moment about always being together.”
Riku’s heart dropped. He, Sora, and Kairi used to have talks like, and now look at them. They were completely separated by not just the worlds, but by light and darkness, too. Roxas would never get the chance, either. His friends weren’t the real Hayner, Pence, and Olette. What were they doing to this poor kid’s psyche? Riku walked closer to the screen.
“Man, today’s turning out to be a drag,” said Hayner, eating his ice cream.
“Maybe because of yesterday’s memory thief,” said Olette.
“Maybe it’s the ice cream for breakfast,” said Riku.
Okay, so he couldn’t resist. DiZ snorted, but said nothing. Riku was shocked; he had no idea DiZ was capable of anything but malevolent.
“Nuh-uh. You know what it is? We don’t want summer vacation to be over. That’s all!”
“This kid speaks like a heathen,” said Riku.
“So, how about this?” Hayner jumped from his seat and stood tall as if intent to look very important. “We all go to the beach! And why do we go to the beach? Because we haven’t gone once this entire vacation! Blue seas! Blue skies! Let’s just get on the train and go!”
“There is no beach,” said Riku.
“The beach?” said DiZ. “Absolutely not.”
Roxas, Pence, and Olette stood, but said nothing.
“No?” said Hayner. “Aw, c’mon!”
“Maybe you forgot, but we’re broke,” said Roxas.
“Well at least one of you has some sense,” said Riku.
“Maybe you forgot, but I’m smart!” said Hayner.
“Up for interpretation . . .”
“There is no way we can allow them to go to the beach,” said DiZ. “Especially not with that meddlesome redhead yesterday. They must not be allowed to leave town. Expanding the area will only give the enemy another access point. I trust you to take care of this.”
Riku sighed and nodded.
“Okay.”
“And remember . . . Roxas was not supposed to exist. Don’t let yourself get too attached to it. It will do no good to lose sight of your objective.”
Riku stared for a few seconds. It? Roxas was an it now? What the hell was Naminé, then? He tried to control the anger exploding through his chest, but . . . Riku took a breath. He understood, of course. There was no other way for Sora. Roxas was supposed to exist with Sora as a whole, not as a separate entity, and becoming fond of Roxas as he was didn’t do Sora any good. DiZ was right. He was a complete jackass, but he was right.
Riku nodded.
“How are they going to get to the beach without any munny, though? We might not have to worry about it.”
DiZ motioned to the monitor. Riku peered at it. Hayner was carrying a large stack of Struggle fliers.
“He’s encouraged the others to take odd jobs around the town to make the munny. Go back into town. Take your breakfast if you like. Keep an eye on the station.”
Riku nodded. He grabbed the paper bag from the floor by DiZ that Riku was sure by now would contain a piece of fruit, a breakfast sandwich, and a juice box. One thermos of coffee remained that Riku was sure belonged to him. He stepped into the data machine, ready to head back into the alternate Twilight Town.
Once through the alternate mansion and the woods, Riku finally found Roxas and Hayner in the Tram Common area pasting up posters for the Struggle. Pence and Olette were probably off somewhere else trying to earn money for the beach, but they didn’t really matter. Roxas was the one Riku had to keep an eye one. They would never attempt to leave without him, anyway.
He picked an inconspicuous place high above where the boys worked and watched.
“We’ll meet up with Pence and Olette at the station in about an hour, then,” said Hayner.
“Do you think we’ll have enough munny?” said Roxas.
“We should. We’re getting a great fee for this thanks to you. I had no idea there were so many places to put posters.”
Riku suppressed the urge to call Hayner an idiot. He might not be able to hear him through a computer, but only several yards away just wasn’t safe enough.
“We’re gonna clean up at the Struggle,” said Hayner. “You and me. One of us has to walk out of there the champ!”
They talked about the Struggle at great length. At one point, an old man came up to them looking for someone to clear away some old junk for munny, and Hayner went off with him leaving Roxas and the posters to each other. This was really not good. All this to make munny for a beach that didn’t exist and DiZ refused to make. It just wasn’t right.
Riku couldn’t really blame Hayner. The memories were so fresh of Destiny Islands even if they felt like ages ago, occurring in a different lifetime. The end of summer vacation was a horrible, depressing time for Kairi, Sora, and him. Sometimes they hung by the paopu or in the Secret Place as summer vacation drew to a close. They talked about the upcoming school year-teachers they hoped not to have and activities they wanted to join. Sora complained about having to finish homework and usually ended up copying from Riku’s schoolwork completed the previous year. Sora always said it was his favorite thing about Riku being a grade ahead. He almost never had to come up with school papers on his own.
What were the Twilight Town beaches like? Were they like Destiny Islands with its harsh, burning sunlight and paopu trees? Was the sand the same, yellow, granular stuff that Riku has slipped his feet into his entire life? Did the waves sound the same, splashing against the shoreline? Did the air taste as warm and sweet? Was the smell as light and salty? Did the sound of laughter and excitement reach ever crevice like it did on Destiny Islands where even in the middle of the night, it was never really dark?
Destiny Islands was always so warm, even in the dead of winter . . .
Could the sun over Twilight Town’s beach give his skin the same sun-kissed glow he’d had since he was born? Riku had spent so much time in the cold and the darkness lately that the color in his skin from the Destiny Islands sun was almost gone before he changed into Ansem.
To Hayner, Roxas, Pence, and Olette a day at the beach was fun. To Riku, the beach was home, and right now . . .
He hadn’t felt really, truly homesick in ages. At Christmas and on his birthday, he really just missed his family and friends. He missed his normal life that up until the Heartless was so typical that he felt suffocated. Only now did he realize how much he wanted that comfort and safety again. He couldn’t even express the joy he’d feel at tomorrow being just as mundane and typical as today. If only he could look in a mirror again and see himself or go to school. He wanted to see Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. He wanted to sit on the paopu.
The last time Riku missed Destiny Islands was in Castle Oblivion in that card world of his home, but even that wasn’t right. It wasn’t home, and now thinking about the beach, the ocean air . . .
This was supposed to end. Cloud promised it would, and then he would find a way for Sora and he to go home. Cloud even said he would visit if Sephiroth wasn’t finished, but Cloud was on Gaea now, looking for Sephiroth. Maybe they really could move in together for real one day, have their own house, and Cloud could meet his parents, his sister . . . Ayumi was sure to hate him at first. She’d be super-protective and untrusting of the man seven years his senior that kept him from living at home again, but she’d get over it once she saw how happy it made him. His parents, too. Then he could take Cloud to the play island-show him the Secret Place and his paopu tree. Maybe they could even go swimming in the ocean.
Riku almost laughed. He got the distinct impression that even if Cloud thought he had visited beaches before, he was going to be in shock. From what Cloud once told him about Costa del Sol it wasn’t even close to Destiny Islands. Riku just had to try and teach Cloud how to surf, if only for the entertainment value it would provide. Maybe Leon could visit, too, and then he, Cloud, Leon, and Sora could all do something together. It could be really great.
A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he watched Roxas work so diligently to put up those posters. He was genuinely sorry that he couldn’t allow him this one reprieve. It was probably for the best. Still, Riku wished Roxas could go, and maybe Riku could tag along. Feel the sand between his toes and the wind across his face again.
Riku dropped his chin into his hands and focused on eating his lunch. He never thought he would, but God, he wanted to go home . . .
~*~
Almost an hour later, Riku followed Roxas in the direction of the train station, careful to keep a good distance between them. He wasn’t quite sure how to do this, but DiZ was guaranteed to be watching and would do everything to make things as simple as possible. Roxas joined Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and they gathered at station plaza as the train to the beach pulled in. Riku hung back toward Market Street and waited for an opportunity to retrieve the munny.
“All present and accounted for?” said Hayner.
“There are only four of you,” muttered Riku. “Can’t be too hard to figure out.”
“What’ve we got?” said Pence.
“A terminal case of stupid?” Riku suggested.
“Let’s see . . .” said Roxas, pulling the munny from his pocket. “Just this.”
“Good job,” said Hayner.
Olette moved to count the munny and she dropped it in a small pouch.
“Great work, everyone. Added to what we started with, we now have . . . Tada!” said Olette. She held out the pouch. “5000 Munny!”
“Sweet!” said Pence.
Olette handed the bag to Roxas. Riku stepped forward; this was his chance.
“Let’s get tickets,” said Olette.
She and Pence ran ahead to the station, but Hayner held Roxas back. Riku stilled, waiting.
“We can’t be together forever . . . so we’d better make the time we do have something to remember,” said Hayner.
The gigantic, colossal meaning of what Hayner didn’t know he was really saying almost made Riku like him for a second. He knew these were just data copies, but the inhabitants of the fake Twilight Town were created from the hearts of their real counterparts. He wondered if they would really miss Roxas-the real versions of Hayner, Pence, and Olette-without having ever known him. What about Roxas? Did he even feel Sora, or was he just dreaming about him? Was this all really going to be okay?
Riku sighed and shook his head as if trying to clear it. He couldn’t lose focus. Riku wasn’t even supposed to like Roxas. He definitely wasn’t supposed to feel more sympathy every day for him.
“Huh?” said Roxas.
“Gotcha!” said Hayner.
It was all just fun and games with this kid, wasn’t it? Riku used to be that way, too . . . Hayner playfully punched Roxas in the stomach, turned, and ran up the stairs to join Pence and Olette. Riku stepped forward. It was time.
He couldn’t just run up to Roxas. He patted his sides, fingers nervously twitching at his pockets as Riku tried to think fast, and then his fingers closed over that stick from this morning. Yes . . . He snatched it from his pocket and whipped it lightning-fast (thank you, powers of darkness) toward Roxas’s feet. It snagged him between steps, flew beyond, and Roxas tripped, landing flat on his face. Hayner, Pence, and Olette turned back, and then they froze.
Riku didn’t even have to question it, just simply understood that DiZ wanted him in and out of there before he could be seen. He moved forward fast. Roxas groaned, pulling up to his knees, still slightly blinded by the hard hit his face made with the pavement. Riku grabbed him before he came to his senses and yanked him to his feet.
“Huh?” said Roxas.
“Do you feel Sora?” he asked, snaking his hand into Roxas’s pocket. It closed around the munny pouch.
“What?” said Roxas.
DiZ was going to kill him, warned him not to get attached, and here he was, trying to get Roxas to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. Roxas was bound to notice his frozen friends. Riku was screwing this all up, but maybe . . . maybe it would get Roxas thinking about Sora more instead of just in his dreams. He was dreaming about Sora, wasn’t he?
He didn’t get a chance for an answer. The next thing he knew, he was standing in the computer room. On the monitors, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and Roxas just discovered the missing munny.
“That was reckless,” said DiZ.
“I just . . .”
“Keep your objectives in sight.”
“My objective is Sora. He’s already dreaming of him . . .”
“Now Roxas is going to be contemplating Sora because of that little scene. We cannot clue him into what is going on. The memories can’t come back.” DiZ made a sound that could have been a sigh except DiZ was someone Riku was sure never did anything remotely like sighing. “Naminé, hurry.”
Riku tossed the munny pouch into the air and caught it. He tried to keep his voice casual; this irritation with DiZ had to go away. They were working together, after all, not against each other.
“Is it really that hard to make a beach?”
“We’d be giving the enemy another entry point.”
Yes, Riku got that much so far. He was about to say something about making the last of Roxas’s days better ones or that the Organization had already found them, anyway, but he decided it was probably better not to. He tossed the pouch again and caught it. He held it out toward DiZ.
“And this?”
DiZ glanced back.
“We can always buy some sea-salt ice cream.” He laughed his creepy, demented, almost malicious laugh again and turned back to the monitors. Riku was not amused. “Objects from that town must be kept out of the real world. You can delete that.”
Delete it, huh? Just like that.
“All right.”
Riku pocketed it instead.
“What is Organization XIII’s status?” said Riku.
“All is quiet. There’s no sign of the underlings or their superiors. They’re waiting for us to make a move.”
“Is there any else I can do today?”
“Actually sleep this time.”
Riku huffed.
“Anything else?”
“I will take care of Roxas. Don’t concern yourself with that.”
Riku walked closer to see Roxas and his friends on the clock tower eating ice cream again. Didn’t Olette know it was all going to go to her hips? Roxas was lost in thought, thinking of the incident in the station.
“Who are you, Sora?” ran through Roxas’s thoughts. “Ever since I started dreaming about you, all sorts of weird stuff has been happening . . .”
Once again, DiZ was right. He shouldn’t have made Roxas think about Sora. What if memories came back? What if he could feel Sora, and memories came back (because Naminé was chaining together Sora’s, wasn’t she? And Sora’s heart strongly resonated with Roxas)? If he remembered anything, anything at all . . . He was a member of Organization XIII, and Axel was his best friend. If that happened, he would never go back to Sora. It wasn’t long ago that Riku faced off against a Roxas that remembered everything. It wasn’t a pleasant situation.
“I’m sorry . . .” said Riku.
“Go and actually sleep. There’s no telling what tomorrow will bring at this point.”
He felt like a small child being sent to bed early without dessert. At the very least he was being sent off before dinner. Riku frowned . . .
“What about my supper?”
“Take a nap. I’ll have Naminé bring you your meal.”
At least DiZ wasn’t completely heartless. No pun intended.
( Prompt Table) for further installments. 059/100 Complete.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [059.] Fun
Word Count: 5,072
Rating: R
Summary: Riku couldn’t help but feel bad for Roxas. It was all so unfair.
Disclaimer: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I’m sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let’s face it: I don’t even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there’s no proof of, because I’m deluded like that.
DiZ stared at the computer monitors long after Roxas returned home for the night. He searched the screens as if trying to find the missing piece to a calculated formula. Riku stood behind him, staring at the monitors but not really seeing, unsure of what to do. Should he wait to be dismissed? He assumed that if DiZ didn’t want him there, he would have been sent away by now. Should he say something? Offer any assistance he could provide, or was he supposed to just stand there as he was, waiting for DiZ to find whatever he searched for?
Adrenaline rushed through his veins, mingled with disappointment and shame over the Dusks’ appearance in the alternate Twilight Town. Riku felt so stupid having not noticed something was very wrong before it was too late. He was too preoccupied, slinging around insults at the Twilight Town inhabitants and brooding on his own mistakes that he went and made another. Since he was young, people always made off-hand comments about Riku’s tendency to get so wrapped up in himself that he never noticed anything else. These statements always stung, but this must have been what they meant. He did it with his family, Sora, Leon, Cloud, and now he was doing it to Roxas, and by extension, Sora again. Poor Sora always got hurt the most by Riku’s self-preoccupation. He was even doing it right now. Riku shook his head.
It felt like every other second that Riku demanded himself to pull it together. He was a fucking mess, falling apart every time something went wrong. His head and thoughts were scattered; this was no good. He couldn’t be like this. He needed to be more removed and less emotional. He needed to do anything that would keep his fucking head together before he wasn’t any good to anyone.
Riku tried to focus his eyes on the monitor, roaming over the screen for something-anything-that might be of use. Roxas was just fine, eating dinner, troubled by thoughts of the memory thief and the strange weapon, but there was no threat. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were just the same as always, troubled by nothing other than perhaps how strange Roxas had been today. Seifer was threatening some kid in the Sandlot for breaching on his territory. On the clock tower . . .
Wait. On the clock tower? Riku peered closer.
“DiZ, who’s that?”
Riku pointed to a spot on the largest monitor. DiZ followed his outstretched hand and stared. As they continued to watch, a group of Dusks flew in their strange, disjointed way to the top, more stolen photographs in their grasp. The man there took the pictures and turned them over.
“Photographs?” he said. “Why are the Dusks bringing me photographs?”
“Organization XIII,” said DiZ. He banged the keyboard.
It had to be. Couldn’t be anyone else if the man was in a league with the Dusks, not to mention the long, black cloak like the one Riku wore now was a dead giveaway. He hardly had time to marvel over the inconspicuousness of an organization that wore such blatant uniforms when the man pushed his hood back to reveal a head of the most blinding, ridiculously tall spiked red hair. Riku blinked. He looked so familiar. Where had he seen him before . . .?
“Axel,” said a soft, feminine voice, and Riku turned to see Naminé step up beside him. “He’s looking for Roxas.”
“I should’ve known better that to trust the Dusks with this,” said the man-Axel. “Oh, man. Xemnas is gonna kill me. Guess I gotta do this on my own. Now then . . . where’s the real thing hiding?”
“Who’s Xemnas?” said Riku.
“Another member of Organization XIII?” said DiZ.
“He’s their leader,” said Naminé. “Organization XIII’s Superior.” Riku glanced at her, frowning. She seemed to feel his hidden eyes on her, however, because Naminé looked up and gave him a soft smile. “I heard his name in Castle Oblivion when I was under Marluxia’s control. They were out to take over the Organization, remember?”
Riku did remember, now that she mentioned it, anyway. That was how this started back in Castle Oblivion when Naminé was forced to take apart Sora’s memories. That was where Riku had seen Axel before-in Naminé’s drawings scattered and hanging around her room. Riku looked back to the screen.
“So this Axel. . .”
“What can you tell us about him, Naminé?” said DiZ
“Sora met him in Castle Oblivion. I don’t know why he’s looking for Roxas, but if it’s on Xemnas’s orders, it can’t be a good thing. That and . . . he and Roxas were best friends. I think the last thing Axel probably wants is for Sora and Roxas to become whole again.”
“He’ll have to be stopped,” said DiZ.
“Is there anything I can do?” said Riku.
“Keep a close eye on Roxas. Head in tomorrow morning and get a good luck around. Keep the Keyblade by the data machine, and be prepared to head into any entry point at a moment’s notice. I’ll keep watch tonight. Naminé, you must work as quickly as possible.”
Naminé nodded. Her hand briefly touched Riku’s forearm and she headed back to the room where Sora slept.
”What should I do right now?” said Riku.
DiZ sighed.
“Rest. I fear tomorrow will be another busy one. I need you alert.”
Riku nodded. He spared one last glance to the monitor and watched as Axel disappeared from the system. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Riku doubted that sleep would come tonight, but even if he just lay staring at the ceiling, at least he was resting. That was all DiZ requested.
Riku turned and left the computer room.
~*~
Riku awoke, eyes still puffy and probably bloodshot, not the he’d look into a mirror to see if it was true. Riku avoided mirrors at all costs, and he really didn’t need one to know how terrible he looked, Ansem thing aside. He had fallen asleep, but only after staring blankly at the ceiling for hours, questions about Roxas and the Dusks running through his head. Then there was Axel, the member of Organization XIII he had to try and track down today. He had to infiltrate the system, keep an eye on Roxas and protect him . . . or something. When sleep did force itself upon his busy head, it was already late into the night, and Riku couldn’t have gotten more than three hours of rest.
He dressed silently, leaving his phone behind in the bedroom. He couldn’t afford any distractions today, especially not any selfish distractions regarding his strained relationships with his boyfriend and Leon. Roxas was in trouble; Riku needed to help him.
When he left the room, he was surprised to see Naminé standing at the door on the balcony that lead to the library and down into the computer room.
“Good morning, Riku,” she said, and offered a small smile. “How did you sleep?”
“Badly. Thought about Roxas, Axel, and the Dusks all night.”
“It’ll be all right. DiZ anticipated this.”
“I know he did. That’s why I had to keep watching the monitors, but I hoped . . .”
“No. I think he knew Organization XIII would find us. That’s why he had photographs scattered all across the town. It’s not like Roxas has been there long enough for them to actually be taken, but he specifically insisted there be photos of Roxas everywhere. I thought it was just to help integrate him, but now . . .”
Riku sighed and dropped his head. He wished DiZ would clue him into these things instead of leaving him in the dark. Yesterday could’ve gone so much better . . .
”Both are nothing but data to the Dusks,” he said, echoing DiZ’s statement. “They’ll never be able to tell the difference.”
“Right. So a member of Organization XIII would have to physically obtain Roxas, which is harder for them. We’re more likely to pick up on Axel’s presence than the Dusks. He’s a stronger, more powerful Nobody. Like me. Like Roxas. Just short of being a whole person. It’s harder to hide.”
“You’ve got a lot of work to do today, I guess.”
Naminé nodded.
“DiZ is already downstairs keeping an eye out in case Roxas wakes up before you get down there. He’s got breakfast with him. I’m going to see Sora.”
“Okay. Well . . .”
“If you need anything at all, just call on me, okay? Riku?”
It seemed like she purposefully said his name more than she needed to. Riku didn’t know why-maybe to keep reminding him who he was. Sometimes he almost forgot what happened to his appearance when she was around-so pure and sweet, always offering gentle touches to his arm and soft kisses to his cheek. Whenever he was ready to just throw the identity of Riku away, break up with Cloud, and settle that he was now Ansem, Naminé called him by his true name. She reminded him that it was his heart that mattered, and in his heart he would never stop being Riku.
It was both a wonderful and terrible thought.
“I will. Thanks.”
“We better go down. Axel’s trouble.” She laughed a little and shook her head. “He’s really not so bad, but . . . He’s feisty. Let’s just put it that way.”
Riku didn’t know whether to smile or frown at the way she spoke of him. It was almost fond, and now Riku was unsure of how he should deal with Axel if their paths cross. Naminé was an excellent judge of character, and if she thought Axel wasn’t so bad . . . but he was a member of Organization XIII. He was just a Nobody, not supposed to exist, but Naminé was a Nobody too, and she was wonderful.
Riku really hated this Nobody business. It was so confusing.
Naminé and Riku parted ways when they reached the computer room. DiZ was already at the computer, typing into the system, and he jerked his head toward the data machine.
“Eat now and go, or go now and eat when you return,” said DiZ.
“What? No ‘good morning’?” said Riku.
“Roxas is still asleep. You’ll want to get a start before he’s up and moving around.”
Riku glanced over DiZ’s shoulder to the monitor and there Roxas was, still fast asleep, dreaming of Sora and his adventures through the worlds with the Keyblade. He looked away quickly as the pain of Sora sleeping in that pod, not even a memory to those he loved too strong to bear this second. Roxas wouldn’t be allowed to exist anymore to set Sora right, and this was just . . . the worlds were so unfair.
“I’ll eat later.”
Riku stepped into the data machine and waited to be transported to the alternate Twilight Town.
He started in the Sunset Residential District and took a train back into the station. He walked through Twilight Town, the woods, and even the alternate mansion but there was no sign of Axel or the Dusks anywhere. Riku made it into the back alley and was about to head into the Sandlot when he heard footsteps and stopped.
“A Keyblade . . .”
Roxas. Riku stilled, hardly breathing as Roxas walked into view. He turned to see Roxas pick up a stick leaning against one of the buildings and brandish it about like he had done with the Kingdom Key just yesterday. So he was awake, and his thoughts still lingered on the strange events the day before. Not a surprise-he was Sora, and even if he weren’t, it wasn’t just a normal thing for a weapon that looked like a key to appear out of nowhere in your hands while you fight off strange, non-human creatures in white jumpsuits that call you their liege.
“What was that about?” said Roxas.
Still in his reverie, Riku broke from it as the stick flew across the open space. It smacked against his chest and hit the ground. Roxas turned.
Riku almost panicked for a second as Roxas faced him. He knew his face was hidden, and even if wasn’t, he didn’t look like himself. Roxas didn’t even remember being a member of the Organization so there was no way he could recognize him, but for a half-second Riku was sure he would know. He’d blame Riku for what was happening to him, claim he wasn’t Sora, and pull out both Oblivion and Oathkeeper before sending Riku to an early death. There was no recognition in Roxas’s eyes, though (of course there wasn’t).
Riku turned and headed toward the Sandlot before any recognition could happen. From behind, Roxas’s voice sounded again.
“Oh! Sorry . . . about that . . .”
Riku stood halfway down the stairs toward the Sandlot as Roxas’s footsteps faded away. He turned, walked back up, and grabbed the stick, smacking it against his own palm as Roxas had just done. He slid it into his pocket.
“No,” said Riku. “I’m the one who owes you the apology.”
~*~
There was no sign of Axel or the Dusks in the Sandlot, either, so Riku returned to the alternate Twilight Town mansion and waited for DiZ to transport him back to the real world. It took all of thirty seconds.
“Well?” said DiZ as Riku stepped from the data machine.
“No sign of Axel anywhere. I ran into Roxas.”
“I saw.”
“So what’s going on?”
“Roxas and his friends are eating sea-salt ice cream and having a sentimental moment about always being together.”
Riku’s heart dropped. He, Sora, and Kairi used to have talks like, and now look at them. They were completely separated by not just the worlds, but by light and darkness, too. Roxas would never get the chance, either. His friends weren’t the real Hayner, Pence, and Olette. What were they doing to this poor kid’s psyche? Riku walked closer to the screen.
“Man, today’s turning out to be a drag,” said Hayner, eating his ice cream.
“Maybe because of yesterday’s memory thief,” said Olette.
“Maybe it’s the ice cream for breakfast,” said Riku.
Okay, so he couldn’t resist. DiZ snorted, but said nothing. Riku was shocked; he had no idea DiZ was capable of anything but malevolent.
“Nuh-uh. You know what it is? We don’t want summer vacation to be over. That’s all!”
“This kid speaks like a heathen,” said Riku.
“So, how about this?” Hayner jumped from his seat and stood tall as if intent to look very important. “We all go to the beach! And why do we go to the beach? Because we haven’t gone once this entire vacation! Blue seas! Blue skies! Let’s just get on the train and go!”
“There is no beach,” said Riku.
“The beach?” said DiZ. “Absolutely not.”
Roxas, Pence, and Olette stood, but said nothing.
“No?” said Hayner. “Aw, c’mon!”
“Maybe you forgot, but we’re broke,” said Roxas.
“Well at least one of you has some sense,” said Riku.
“Maybe you forgot, but I’m smart!” said Hayner.
“Up for interpretation . . .”
“There is no way we can allow them to go to the beach,” said DiZ. “Especially not with that meddlesome redhead yesterday. They must not be allowed to leave town. Expanding the area will only give the enemy another access point. I trust you to take care of this.”
Riku sighed and nodded.
“Okay.”
“And remember . . . Roxas was not supposed to exist. Don’t let yourself get too attached to it. It will do no good to lose sight of your objective.”
Riku stared for a few seconds. It? Roxas was an it now? What the hell was Naminé, then? He tried to control the anger exploding through his chest, but . . . Riku took a breath. He understood, of course. There was no other way for Sora. Roxas was supposed to exist with Sora as a whole, not as a separate entity, and becoming fond of Roxas as he was didn’t do Sora any good. DiZ was right. He was a complete jackass, but he was right.
Riku nodded.
“How are they going to get to the beach without any munny, though? We might not have to worry about it.”
DiZ motioned to the monitor. Riku peered at it. Hayner was carrying a large stack of Struggle fliers.
“He’s encouraged the others to take odd jobs around the town to make the munny. Go back into town. Take your breakfast if you like. Keep an eye on the station.”
Riku nodded. He grabbed the paper bag from the floor by DiZ that Riku was sure by now would contain a piece of fruit, a breakfast sandwich, and a juice box. One thermos of coffee remained that Riku was sure belonged to him. He stepped into the data machine, ready to head back into the alternate Twilight Town.
Once through the alternate mansion and the woods, Riku finally found Roxas and Hayner in the Tram Common area pasting up posters for the Struggle. Pence and Olette were probably off somewhere else trying to earn money for the beach, but they didn’t really matter. Roxas was the one Riku had to keep an eye one. They would never attempt to leave without him, anyway.
He picked an inconspicuous place high above where the boys worked and watched.
“We’ll meet up with Pence and Olette at the station in about an hour, then,” said Hayner.
“Do you think we’ll have enough munny?” said Roxas.
“We should. We’re getting a great fee for this thanks to you. I had no idea there were so many places to put posters.”
Riku suppressed the urge to call Hayner an idiot. He might not be able to hear him through a computer, but only several yards away just wasn’t safe enough.
“We’re gonna clean up at the Struggle,” said Hayner. “You and me. One of us has to walk out of there the champ!”
They talked about the Struggle at great length. At one point, an old man came up to them looking for someone to clear away some old junk for munny, and Hayner went off with him leaving Roxas and the posters to each other. This was really not good. All this to make munny for a beach that didn’t exist and DiZ refused to make. It just wasn’t right.
Riku couldn’t really blame Hayner. The memories were so fresh of Destiny Islands even if they felt like ages ago, occurring in a different lifetime. The end of summer vacation was a horrible, depressing time for Kairi, Sora, and him. Sometimes they hung by the paopu or in the Secret Place as summer vacation drew to a close. They talked about the upcoming school year-teachers they hoped not to have and activities they wanted to join. Sora complained about having to finish homework and usually ended up copying from Riku’s schoolwork completed the previous year. Sora always said it was his favorite thing about Riku being a grade ahead. He almost never had to come up with school papers on his own.
What were the Twilight Town beaches like? Were they like Destiny Islands with its harsh, burning sunlight and paopu trees? Was the sand the same, yellow, granular stuff that Riku has slipped his feet into his entire life? Did the waves sound the same, splashing against the shoreline? Did the air taste as warm and sweet? Was the smell as light and salty? Did the sound of laughter and excitement reach ever crevice like it did on Destiny Islands where even in the middle of the night, it was never really dark?
Destiny Islands was always so warm, even in the dead of winter . . .
Could the sun over Twilight Town’s beach give his skin the same sun-kissed glow he’d had since he was born? Riku had spent so much time in the cold and the darkness lately that the color in his skin from the Destiny Islands sun was almost gone before he changed into Ansem.
To Hayner, Roxas, Pence, and Olette a day at the beach was fun. To Riku, the beach was home, and right now . . .
He hadn’t felt really, truly homesick in ages. At Christmas and on his birthday, he really just missed his family and friends. He missed his normal life that up until the Heartless was so typical that he felt suffocated. Only now did he realize how much he wanted that comfort and safety again. He couldn’t even express the joy he’d feel at tomorrow being just as mundane and typical as today. If only he could look in a mirror again and see himself or go to school. He wanted to see Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. He wanted to sit on the paopu.
The last time Riku missed Destiny Islands was in Castle Oblivion in that card world of his home, but even that wasn’t right. It wasn’t home, and now thinking about the beach, the ocean air . . .
This was supposed to end. Cloud promised it would, and then he would find a way for Sora and he to go home. Cloud even said he would visit if Sephiroth wasn’t finished, but Cloud was on Gaea now, looking for Sephiroth. Maybe they really could move in together for real one day, have their own house, and Cloud could meet his parents, his sister . . . Ayumi was sure to hate him at first. She’d be super-protective and untrusting of the man seven years his senior that kept him from living at home again, but she’d get over it once she saw how happy it made him. His parents, too. Then he could take Cloud to the play island-show him the Secret Place and his paopu tree. Maybe they could even go swimming in the ocean.
Riku almost laughed. He got the distinct impression that even if Cloud thought he had visited beaches before, he was going to be in shock. From what Cloud once told him about Costa del Sol it wasn’t even close to Destiny Islands. Riku just had to try and teach Cloud how to surf, if only for the entertainment value it would provide. Maybe Leon could visit, too, and then he, Cloud, Leon, and Sora could all do something together. It could be really great.
A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he watched Roxas work so diligently to put up those posters. He was genuinely sorry that he couldn’t allow him this one reprieve. It was probably for the best. Still, Riku wished Roxas could go, and maybe Riku could tag along. Feel the sand between his toes and the wind across his face again.
Riku dropped his chin into his hands and focused on eating his lunch. He never thought he would, but God, he wanted to go home . . .
~*~
Almost an hour later, Riku followed Roxas in the direction of the train station, careful to keep a good distance between them. He wasn’t quite sure how to do this, but DiZ was guaranteed to be watching and would do everything to make things as simple as possible. Roxas joined Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and they gathered at station plaza as the train to the beach pulled in. Riku hung back toward Market Street and waited for an opportunity to retrieve the munny.
“All present and accounted for?” said Hayner.
“There are only four of you,” muttered Riku. “Can’t be too hard to figure out.”
“What’ve we got?” said Pence.
“A terminal case of stupid?” Riku suggested.
“Let’s see . . .” said Roxas, pulling the munny from his pocket. “Just this.”
“Good job,” said Hayner.
Olette moved to count the munny and she dropped it in a small pouch.
“Great work, everyone. Added to what we started with, we now have . . . Tada!” said Olette. She held out the pouch. “5000 Munny!”
“Sweet!” said Pence.
Olette handed the bag to Roxas. Riku stepped forward; this was his chance.
“Let’s get tickets,” said Olette.
She and Pence ran ahead to the station, but Hayner held Roxas back. Riku stilled, waiting.
“We can’t be together forever . . . so we’d better make the time we do have something to remember,” said Hayner.
The gigantic, colossal meaning of what Hayner didn’t know he was really saying almost made Riku like him for a second. He knew these were just data copies, but the inhabitants of the fake Twilight Town were created from the hearts of their real counterparts. He wondered if they would really miss Roxas-the real versions of Hayner, Pence, and Olette-without having ever known him. What about Roxas? Did he even feel Sora, or was he just dreaming about him? Was this all really going to be okay?
Riku sighed and shook his head as if trying to clear it. He couldn’t lose focus. Riku wasn’t even supposed to like Roxas. He definitely wasn’t supposed to feel more sympathy every day for him.
“Huh?” said Roxas.
“Gotcha!” said Hayner.
It was all just fun and games with this kid, wasn’t it? Riku used to be that way, too . . . Hayner playfully punched Roxas in the stomach, turned, and ran up the stairs to join Pence and Olette. Riku stepped forward. It was time.
He couldn’t just run up to Roxas. He patted his sides, fingers nervously twitching at his pockets as Riku tried to think fast, and then his fingers closed over that stick from this morning. Yes . . . He snatched it from his pocket and whipped it lightning-fast (thank you, powers of darkness) toward Roxas’s feet. It snagged him between steps, flew beyond, and Roxas tripped, landing flat on his face. Hayner, Pence, and Olette turned back, and then they froze.
Riku didn’t even have to question it, just simply understood that DiZ wanted him in and out of there before he could be seen. He moved forward fast. Roxas groaned, pulling up to his knees, still slightly blinded by the hard hit his face made with the pavement. Riku grabbed him before he came to his senses and yanked him to his feet.
“Huh?” said Roxas.
“Do you feel Sora?” he asked, snaking his hand into Roxas’s pocket. It closed around the munny pouch.
“What?” said Roxas.
DiZ was going to kill him, warned him not to get attached, and here he was, trying to get Roxas to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. Roxas was bound to notice his frozen friends. Riku was screwing this all up, but maybe . . . maybe it would get Roxas thinking about Sora more instead of just in his dreams. He was dreaming about Sora, wasn’t he?
He didn’t get a chance for an answer. The next thing he knew, he was standing in the computer room. On the monitors, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and Roxas just discovered the missing munny.
“That was reckless,” said DiZ.
“I just . . .”
“Keep your objectives in sight.”
“My objective is Sora. He’s already dreaming of him . . .”
“Now Roxas is going to be contemplating Sora because of that little scene. We cannot clue him into what is going on. The memories can’t come back.” DiZ made a sound that could have been a sigh except DiZ was someone Riku was sure never did anything remotely like sighing. “Naminé, hurry.”
Riku tossed the munny pouch into the air and caught it. He tried to keep his voice casual; this irritation with DiZ had to go away. They were working together, after all, not against each other.
“Is it really that hard to make a beach?”
“We’d be giving the enemy another entry point.”
Yes, Riku got that much so far. He was about to say something about making the last of Roxas’s days better ones or that the Organization had already found them, anyway, but he decided it was probably better not to. He tossed the pouch again and caught it. He held it out toward DiZ.
“And this?”
DiZ glanced back.
“We can always buy some sea-salt ice cream.” He laughed his creepy, demented, almost malicious laugh again and turned back to the monitors. Riku was not amused. “Objects from that town must be kept out of the real world. You can delete that.”
Delete it, huh? Just like that.
“All right.”
Riku pocketed it instead.
“What is Organization XIII’s status?” said Riku.
“All is quiet. There’s no sign of the underlings or their superiors. They’re waiting for us to make a move.”
“Is there any else I can do today?”
“Actually sleep this time.”
Riku huffed.
“Anything else?”
“I will take care of Roxas. Don’t concern yourself with that.”
Riku walked closer to see Roxas and his friends on the clock tower eating ice cream again. Didn’t Olette know it was all going to go to her hips? Roxas was lost in thought, thinking of the incident in the station.
“Who are you, Sora?” ran through Roxas’s thoughts. “Ever since I started dreaming about you, all sorts of weird stuff has been happening . . .”
Once again, DiZ was right. He shouldn’t have made Roxas think about Sora. What if memories came back? What if he could feel Sora, and memories came back (because Naminé was chaining together Sora’s, wasn’t she? And Sora’s heart strongly resonated with Roxas)? If he remembered anything, anything at all . . . He was a member of Organization XIII, and Axel was his best friend. If that happened, he would never go back to Sora. It wasn’t long ago that Riku faced off against a Roxas that remembered everything. It wasn’t a pleasant situation.
“I’m sorry . . .” said Riku.
“Go and actually sleep. There’s no telling what tomorrow will bring at this point.”
He felt like a small child being sent to bed early without dessert. At the very least he was being sent off before dinner. Riku frowned . . .
“What about my supper?”
“Take a nap. I’ll have Naminé bring you your meal.”
At least DiZ wasn’t completely heartless. No pun intended.
( Prompt Table) for further installments. 059/100 Complete.